Finn glanced back down at a sleeping Kate and promised himself, he would break through her wall she had protecting her heart, he would break through and show her, that it’s okay to be happy, but for now, he would let her sleep.
He eased them both back onto the pillows on the bed, the whole time, keeping her wrapped tightly in his arms. He lay there with Kate in his arms, and though this isn’t how he had thought today would have worked out, but he was happy to have been allowed to take a little step closer to her. He just prayed she wouldn’t shut him out again.
Finally, his own eyes grew heavy, and slowly he drifted off to sleep also. Still holding the woman, he knew he was falling in love with.
Chapter 18
Kate stood in the middle of a field of long grass, the smell of the wild flowers filled her senses and she felt happy. She held her face up to the afternoon sun with her eyes closed and it felt good, warm and welcoming.
“Mommy,” she heard Emily calling her, then giggle. Kate spun around looking for her daughter, but the sun was too bright and she couldn’t see her.
“Mommy,” she heard her call once again and laugh happily.
Kate’s eyes darted in every direction, trying to see her beautiful Emily, but she was nowhere to be seen.
“Emily!” Kate called out but there was no response and a feeling of fear began to take hold of her.
Suddenly, dark storm clouds rolled over head and she was standing next to a lake. The rain was beating down hard and she could feel the bank beneath her give way. She scrambled to get to safety, but the ground crumbled beneath her and she hit the water with a deafening splash.
“Mommy,” she heard Emily call again but this time it was different, this time she was scared. Panic took hold as Kate kicked and splashed, trying hard to keep her head above the water.
“Mommy,” Emily cried out once more. Kate fought to keep afloat but it was no use. She slowly slipped beneath the water and sunk down into the darkness…
“EMILY!” Kate cried out, as she sprung up in the bed. She was covered in a thin layer of sweat and gasping for breath. She was confused, how had she ended up asleep on her bed?
“Kate,” Finn said, from the bed next to her, almost killing her with fright. “Kate, are you okay?”
Kate was stunned to find Finn on the bed next to her, and what’s more, he was completely butt ass naked. She leaped up off the bed, trying to remember how they had ended up in there.
“What the hell are you doing in here?” Kate demanded, completely shocked to see a naked Finn, sitting on her bed.
“Kate!” Finn replied, leaning forward. “Nothing happened, you were upset, and I swear, I wouldn’t…”
“Oh for the love of God,” Kate said turning away from Finn. “Cover yourself up.”
Finn looked down and realised the towel he had around his waist, had come undone while he was asleep. He quickly grabbed it and climbed up off the bed, wrapping it around his waist once again.
“Shit, Kate,” he said completely mortified. “I hadn’t realised my towel had come off. I was just worried about you. You were having a nightmare. You were screaming and kicking. I tried to wake you. I swear, nothing happened.”
Kate turned back to Finn, the look of horror and fear etched across his face and she couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for him. He looked at her, unsure of what he should say or do next.
“Are you okay?” he asked, nervously. She simply nodded.
“Kate,” Finn said, moving slowly around the bed until he was standing in front of her. “Please, talk to me. I know you are hurting. I have known that from the first day I met you. I swear, you can trust me, I would never do a thing to hurt you. Please, don’t keep shutting me out.”
Kate looked up at Finn, blinking hard, trying to push back the hot, salty, tears that were stinging her eyes.
“Finn, I don’t know how…” she whispered breathlessly. “I don’t even know where to start.”
Finn reached for the photo on the night stand. He picked it up and handed it to Kate.
“Start with this,” Finn said, as he reached up and brushed away the tears that had broken free and were trickling down Kate’s beautiful face. “She is Emily, isn’t she? Tell me about her.”
Kate looked down at the photo and allowed the tears to flow freely. She traced her finger tips across the photograph, as she closed her eyes and remembered her little girl. Her smell, her happy voice and her beautiful smile. Her heart broke, as she longed to hold her, just one more time.
“Emily is my daughter,” Kate finally said, as she opened her eyes and looked back up at Finn. “She was four. Eleven months ago, she and I was in a car crash. We were hit by a drunk driver. I lost control of the car and we ended up in a river. Emily panicked and climbed down on to the floor.”
She walked over to the bed and sat on the end of it, closed her eyes, as she remember that day like it was yesterday.
“MOMMY!” Emily cried from the back seat. “THE WATER IS COMING IN.”
“Emily,” Kate called out, trying to remain calm. She opened her seat belt and turned back to Emily. “Open your seat belt baby, and climb through to me. Mommy is going to get us out of here.”
The water was rushing in through the open window next to Kate and filling the car rapidly. Kate knew she had to act fast, the car was filling up and sinking very quickly, so she had very little time to get them out. Emily opened her seat belt, but just as she was about to climb into the front seat, the car hit something with a thud and Emily cried out in terror.
“MOMMY!” she called out, as she dropped to the floor of the car.
“Emily, baby,” Kate said, still trying to remain calm, but her heart was hammering in her chest. “It’s okay, Mommy has you. Give me your hand.”
“MOMMY, I’M SCARED,” Emily cried, frozen to her spot on the floor. Kate tried to lean into the back to reach Emily, but the car hit something else and she fell backwards, hitting the side her head against the steering wheel with a loud thump. Kate felt like her head was going to explode and she was finding it hard to focus.
“MOMMY!” she heard Emily cry again and fought against her sudden desire to sleep.
She reached for the back of her car seat to pull herself forward, but she struggled to move in the water.
She gasped for one last bit of air, as the water rose and finally they were completely submerged and now sinking faster. With every ounce of strength she could find, she pulled herself forward to try to get to Emily. Suddenly, Kate felt herself being pulled from behind, as she felt an arm wrap around her waist, pulling her from the car through the open window. Kate looked back to see some guy looking her straight in the face. She struggled to free herself from his grasp, and get back to the car, but he was so strong. She kicked and punched but, she was already so weak, she had no strength left to fight. She looked back at the car, but she couldn’t see it anymore. There was just blackness and finally she gave herself to the blackness, every ounce of her fight, gone.
“Kate, I am so sorry,” Finn said, looking at her with so much sadness, Kate couldn’t bear it. “What happened to Emily?”
“When I woke up in the hospital, several days later,” Kate said, her heart aching in her chest. “They said, by the time they got to Emily, it was too late. She had drowned still inside the car.
“Oh, Kate,” Finn said, his heart breaking for this beautiful woman sitting in front of him. He walked over and sat down next to her on the bed, his eyes full of sadness. “Kate, I am so sorry.”
“Please don’t look at me like that,” Kate said turning away from Finn. “I don’t need or want your pity.”
“I don’t pity you,” he said taking her by the chin and turning her face back to his. “I care about you. Kate, please, don’t shut me out.”
She stared up at him for a moment, then without thinking she leaned up and pressed her lips to his.
Finn pulled back for a moment, looking down into Kate’s eyes. Neither spoke for what seemed li
ke forever.
Finally, unable to hold back any longer, Finn slammed his mouth against Kate’s, as he slipped his arms around her and pulled her to him, easing her back on the bed.
Kate slid her hands up his bare chest, around his strong, broad shoulders and pulled him to her. Her kiss was urgent and hungry. She could feel all the hurt and emptiness of the past eleven months pour out if her, as finally, she felt her body come alive.
Finn dropped his hand down to the bottom of Kate’s dress and began to ease it up her legs, up over her body, finally, slipping it over her head and quickly dropping it to the floor. He dropped to his knees in front of her, as he slowly traced his fingers up her legs, until he reached the lace edge of her panties. He flicked his eyes up to meet hers, looking for permission to continue and he was rewarded with her breath-taking smile. Hooking his fingers inside the waistband of her white, lace panties, he slowly eased them down her legs and discarded them to the floor with her dress.
Slowly, he parted her legs and, leaning down, he pressed his mouth to the inside of her thigh and kissed her softly. Then, with soft, tender kisses, he slowly made his way up the inside, until he reached the apex of her leg. He glanced up at her again and their eyes met for a moment, before he gently ran his tongue over her soft, slick folds.
Taking hold of her by the hips, he pulled her closer to him, as his tongue found her swollen, throbbing clit. He circle and teased it with his tongue before he took it into his mouth, making her cry out, in pure pleasure.
Kate closed her eyes and let go, giving her body over to Finn completely. It had been so long since she had felt like this and she never wanted anything more.
Her heart raced as a quiver in the pit of her stomach began to build and grow, slowly but surely spreading through her entire body. She tilted her hips up against his mouth, longing for relief and cried out as he slipped two fingers between her folds and deep inside her.
“Oh Finn, oh God, yes, YES!” She cried out as her body began to shake and her orgasm erupted inside her.
As Kate struggled to control her ragged breathing, she felt herself being shoved up the bed and then the bed dip as Finn climbed above her.
“I am not done with you yet,” he said, with a naughty grin, his words making the muscles in Kate’s stomach contract with longing.
He leaned down and brought his mouth to hers, his kiss was hungry and full of need. When he breathlessly released her mouth, he slowly inched his way down her body, kissing and biting as he did, until he reached the curve of her breast. He softly traced down over her breast with his tongue, teasing her swollen, erect nipple through the delicate lace of her bra, before he pulled back the lace, revealing her bare breast. He quickly took her nipple into his mouth, sucking and biting it softly. Kate cried out, as her back arched off the bed, filled with ecstasy.
Suddenly, he moved and Kate could feel the swollen head of his rock hard cock pressing against her, teasing her. She tilted her hips up to meet him, longing for him.
He balanced over Kate, his eyes locked with hers and with one thrust, he slammed into her, filling every inch of her and stopped.
“OH GOD!” She cried out as he withdrew and thrusted into her once again, and again he stopped.
His eyes never left hers as he pulled out almost all the way and thrust into her once again. This time he didn’t stop. His thrusts were slow, steady and deep, each stroke hit that sweet spot head on.
“Oh, Fuck Kate, you feel so good,” Finn groaned against her mouth, as his pace picked up, thrust after thrust never missing a beat. Over and over again, he slammed into her. She gripped the bedclothes beneath her as she cried out almost incoherently, as yet another orgasm ripped through her body.
Finn’s pace was faster and harder, almost unforgiving, as he pulled her closer to him. Kate could feel his huge cock throb deep inside her and she knew he was close. She hooked her legs around his back side and drew him even deeper into her, as he exploded inside her.
“OH FUCK, KATE, YES!” He cried out as he rode his orgasm out, then collapsed on top on her, both sweating, breathless and completely satisfied.
Finally, he lifted his head up and looked down in to Kate’s face with a big smile as he still tried to catch his breath.
“You are amazing Kate Greyson,” he panted, breathlessly. “Please don’t shut me out again.”
Chapter 19
They lay together in each other’s arms for about an hour, each lost in their own thoughts. Kate couldn’t help but think of Callum and the guilt of what she had just done with Finn began to fill her soul. She reasoned with herself, that they were over, he had let her go like she had asked him to and they were both moving on.
Finn lay there and thought about what Kate had been through. He couldn’t imagine bringing a child into the world, only to lose them four short years later. It was something no parent should ever have to face. Then the thought occurred to him. What about Emily’s father, where was he now? Had he been around? It was something Finn knew he needed to talk to Kate about, but he knew he needed to pick his moment.
Finally, they agreed they needed to get their asses out of bed. Finn led Kate in to her bathroom, switched on the shower and they both climbed into it. Once again, they made love under the stream of water, but this time it was slow and tender.
As Finn and Kate dressed after the shower, Kate in a fresh summer dress, Finn in his freshly washed and dried clothes, Finn looked up at Kate from the chair in the far corner of the bedroom and gave her a strange smile.
“Are you okay, Finn?” Kate asked, suddenly feeling a little concerned.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” Finn nodded as he reached down to tie up his boots. “I was just thinking, what about Emily’s dad. What happened to him?”
Kate froze at his words. She wasn’t sure what she should tell him, was she ready to reveal all her secrets at once. When she looked up and saw the worried expression on his handsome face, she knew she needed to tell him the truth, and if he left, then so be it.
“Callum, my husband,” Kate began and her heart sank when she saw the reaction on Finn’s face to the word “husband”. “He lives in New York. We moved there from Dublin a few months after the accident. Callum grew up in New York and it seemed like the best place to go to try and start over. We tried to make it work, we really did, but it didn’t. It was just too hard.”
“What happened?” Finn asked sounding a little cold. He still looking a little hurt and disappointed. “He didn’t blame you did he? Because you know Kate, what happened, wasn’t your fault.”
“No, no, he never blamed me,” Kate replied. “No, far from it, I was the one that blamed myself. He did everything to try and make things work, but I shut him out. Every time I looked at him, all I could think about was Emily and everything we had lost, and I was the one who did that to us. I was the one with Emily and I let her die. In the end, he couldn’t take any more and he slept with someone else.”
“He cheated on you?” Finn asked as he moved closer to Kate, sitting down next to her on the bed but he didn’t touch her.
“Yes, but if I am truly honest,” Kate replied. “I had left him in my head long before he did that. So, I can’t be angry with him for what he did. He was hurting and, well that’s it really. I walked out on him and it’s done.”
“How long ago did you leave him?” Finn asked, not really sure he wanted to hear the answer.
“About four weeks ago,” Kate replied keeping her eyes fixed on her hands afraid to look up at Finn.
“FOUR WEEKS AGO!” He exclaimed, springing up from the bed. “Shit Kate, what does that make me? The rebound asshole guy.”
“No!” Kate cried, as she too stood up.
“Then what Kate?” He asked, turning back to look at her. “What is this? I really need to know, because I like you, I mean, I really like you. I think we could have a future. I could fall in love with you so easily.”
“No, Finn, you don’t even know me,” Kate replied, completely taken
back by what he said. “You don’t want to fall in love with me. I am so messed up. You deserve a nice girl. One that can make you happy.”
“But I am happy with you,” Finn replied. “You are all I can think about. When I am with you, I am happy, when I am not with you, I am counting the minutes till I am with you again.”
“Please, please don’t say that.” Kate pleaded with him. “Finn, you don’t want me. I am like a disease, I have destroyed everything and everyone that ever meant anything to me.”
“No, you didn’t,” Finn shot straight back. “You had a terrible thing happen to you, the most unimaginable thing in the world, but it was not your fault. Kate, you have to see that.”
Kate just stood, staring at Finn, shocked she had admitted to him the one thing she had never told another person outside of her therapist’s office.
“Are you still in love with him?” Finn asked.
“I think part of me will always love him Finn, he was Emily’s dad,” Kate replied honestly. “But Callum and I are over.”
“Okay,” Finn said and nodded. “I can live with that.”
Kate stared at Finn in disbelief. She didn’t know what to make of this crazy, charming and carefree man, who had managed to bulldoze his way into her life. He was everything she wasn’t looking for, the complete opposite of Callum, yet here she was, and she found herself drawn to him.
“Okay,” he said stepping closer to her once again. “I am going to go home and get ready. I want you to get ready, I will be here in exactly one hour and we are going out.”
“Are we now?” Kate asked, raising her eyebrows at his sudden bossiness.
“Yes,” Finn said with a grin. “I think it’s about time we had a proper first date. He pressed his lips to hers and then stepping back, he gave her a big, knowing smile.
“What are you smiling at,” Kate asked, her curiosity peaked.
“Oh nothing,” he said, his smile widening. He pulled her into an embrace. “Just know this, I can wait. I have all the time in the world and I am going nowhere.” He kissed her again and with one last smile he was gone.
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