“Oh Kate,” Leah replied. “I am so sorry. I know Jack means a lot to you.”
“I stayed there as long as I could,” Kate continued. “But it’s a time for family and I am not family.”
“I am sure Finn was grateful for the support though,” Leah said with a smile.
“How did I end up here, Leah?” Kate asked as she looked over at her friend. “I wish I could go asleep and when I wake up, discover all this was just a bad dream.”
“I wish you could too Kate,” Leah said, giving her friend’s hand a soft squeeze. “I wish I had a magic wand that could make everything better for you.”
“Is Olly pissed at me?” Kate asked, already guessing the answer.
“She just wants what is best for you,” Leah replied.
“And she thinks that’s Callum,” Kate sighed.
“Yes, I do,” Olly said from behind them, making both girl’s turn in unison. “But only because I want you to be happy.”
She walked around the sofa and sat down next to her friend.
“Olly, I love Callum, I really do,” Kate told her friend honestly. “But he can’t come barging into my life after hurting me and behave how he did. Finn didn’t deserve the way Callum hit him today.”
“He was upset and acted without thinking,” Olly said, feeling the need to speak up for Callum. “But Kate, he is hurting too. Oh, he knows he acted like an idiot but Kate he is so scared he is losing you. He loves you.”
“I know he does,” Kate sighed and flopped back on the chair. She closed her eyes and pictured Callum. She wished for just five minutes they could just stop pulling each other apart. “Believe me, love was never the issue.”
“Then what is the issue?” Olly asked. “Because I don’t get it. You love each other and want to be together. What is the problem?”
“Olly,” Kate said turning to her friend. “Why does this matter so much to you?”
“Because you are one of my best friends,” Olly replied looking at Kate in frustration. “I have known you all my life. You have always looked out for me and Leah. No matter who broke our hearts or drove us nuts, we always knew, you were there for us. I love you and Callum so much, you are my family. I can’t sit here and watch you two pull each other apart. Not when I know you both still love each other.”
“I will give him a call,” Kate said, as she reached over and took Olly’s hand. ”Maybe we can talk, try sort the mess out, for once and for all.”
“He…eh…” Olly said knowing Kate would not be happy with what she had to tell her. “He said he was going back to New York. He was leaving today. Kate, he’s gone.”
“Oh,” was all Kate could say without bursting into tears. She stared at the fire place as a million thoughts filled her mind. Her head ached and she felt so tired.
“Kate, why don’t you just call him,” Leah said, sensing her friend’s inner struggle. “You know he would be back here in a heartbeat. He loves you so much. It doesn’t have to be like this.”
“I am not so sure, Leah,” Kate replied sadly. “He wouldn’t even give me a chance to explain this morning. I don’t know, maybe too much has happened for us to fix it. We lost Emily, we hurt each other. Maybe it’s not meant to be fixed.”
“Is that was you really believe?” Olly asked.
“Maybe. Olly, I want to make things right with Callum,” Kate replied honestly. “But my heart really can’t take much more.”
Neither of her friends replied. There was nothing left to say. Kate felt drained. She didn’t have any fight left. Slowly she stood up and lifted her handbag from where she had left it on the coffee table.
“I am going to call it a night,” she said as she bent down and kissed both her friends on the forehead. “I told Finn I would go back to the hospital in the morning, so if I am gone when you wake up, that’s where I shall be.”
“Okay,” Leah said giving her a big smile.
“Goodnight,” Kate said and headed towards her room.
“Good night Kate.” Olly called after her.
When she was in the privacy of her own room, she flopped back down onto the bed and let out a deep sigh. Her head was so full of a million thoughts, it was hurting her. She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, as she tried to alleviate the tension headache she’d had all day.
As she lay there, Callum’s face came crashing into her thoughts. She could see him standing there at her door that morning, rage and anger pouring from his eyes.
She had only ever seen him like that once before, and that was two nights before their wedding.
They had been for dinner with Kate’s dad, her brother’s Shea and Dara. James, Leah, Olly, and of course Callum’s parents.
Kate had met them once before, when she and Callum went to visit a few after they got engaged. Kate knew then Evelyn Greyson did not approve of her son’s choices. So Kate was not looking forward to spending more time with her, soon-to-be mother-in-law.
The night had gone well despite the miserable face of Evelyn sitting at one end of the table. Kate even found she managed to relax a little.
The night was almost over, when Evelyn slipped on to the chair next to Kate.
“So you are still planning on marrying my son in two days?” Evelyn said in a hushed voice, all the while keeping a big, fake grin on her spiteful face.
“Yes,” Kate replied, a little taken back by the woman’s clear hostility. “That’s exactly what I plan.”
“And you think someone like you can make him happy, do you?” she said with a half laugh.
“Yes, I do,” Kate replied as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She glanced over at Callum who was deep in conversation with James and her father. “I love him.”
“Oh I am sure you think you do,” Evelyn retorted looking Kate directly in the eye. “But it won’t last.”
“Excuse me?” Kate said in complete disbelief.
“Darling girl,” Evelyn purred. “This isn’t the first time Callum thought he was in love. Of course, Brittney was more his type, you know more our social equal. Then a month before the wedding, Callum called the whole thing off, and before we knew it, he was on a plane to Ireland. You my dear, I am sorry to say, are nothing more than a rebound thing. He will see sense and come back home, where he belongs.”
Kate was floored, she looked back over at Callum, who had just happened to glance over at her at that exact moment. He smiled as their eyes met. She returned his smile but inside she was crushed. She knew Evelyn was just being spiteful, but she was hurt none the less.
Callum was almost married to someone else. What if she really was just a rebound thing? She tried to listen to what Evelyn was saying, but her heart was pounding so hard, she couldn’t focus on a word she was now saying.
“If you would excuse me,” Kate said as she stood up quickly from her chair and grabbed her bag from the table. “I need to use the ladies room.”
She hurried towards the bathroom, but when she saw the exit. She took a detour. She bumped into her brother Shea, and Callum’s dad, Callum Senior, who had been outside to have a cigarette.
“Kats,” Shea said when he saw his sister. “You heading already?”
“Eh… yeah,” she replied. “I am feeling exhausted.”
“Is Callum leaving too?” Callum Senior asked. Even though Evelyn was a nasty piece of work, Kate did like Callum Senior.
“He is just chatting to my Dad,” she told him. “He is going to follow me out. She kissed them both goodnight, and continued on outside. She waved down a passing taxi and quickly climbed inside.
She was only in their apartment five minutes when she heard the door slam.
“KATE!” Callum’s voice echoed through the apartment. Kate, who had been pacing up and down, froze and waited for Callum to find her. “KATE!”
He walked down the hallway and found Kate standing in the living room, waiting for him.
“Here you are,” he said, the look of sheer relief on his face, very obvious
. “When Dad said you had left, I didn’t know what the hell to think. Why did you leave without telling anyone?”
“I just needed a little space.” Kate said, unable to look at him directly in the eye.
“Katie, what is it?” He asked moving closer to her, sensing something wasn’t quite right. “Has something happened?”
“Who is Brittney?” Kate asked, getting straight to the point as she finally let her eyes meet his.
“No one that matters,” Callum said, he tried to sound calm but the panic in his voice was very apparent.
“You were going to marry her,” Kate shot back, her voiced quivered and she swallowed hard, trying to stop herself from crying.
“And it would have been the biggest mistake of my life,” Callum replied. “Kate why does it even matter, we are getting married in two days. Brittney was my past. You are my future.”
“I can’t believe you kept this from me Cal,” Kate said angrily. She was hurt he would have any secrets from her. “I thought we were closer than that.”
“We are,” Callum insisted. “But she is a part of my life I want to forget.”
“You should have told me,” Kate replied turning away from him, blinking back the hot, salty tears that were stinging her eyes. “What if this is just a rebound thing?”
“This is all my mother,” Callum said and the anger seeped from every part of his body. “I am going to kill that woman.”
“But what if she is right?” Kate cried. “Callum, you walked out on that marriage and you meet me five minutes later. I don’t want you to wake up one morning and regret marrying me.”
“Katie, that is never going to happen,” Callum said, with a half laugh, pulling Kate into his arms. “I am sorry I never told you about Brittney, but the truth was, she meant nothing to me. I knew marrying her would have been a big mistake. She was everything I didn’t want in the person I would spend the rest of my life with. She was not you.”
Kate looked at him for a moment and consider his answer. Finally, she gave him small smile.
“Okay,” Kate replied finally. “No more secrets.”
“No more secrets,” Callum nodded and gave her a big smile. He pressed his lips to hers softly then rested his forehead against Kate’s. “I need to go out, I won’t be long.”
“Where are you going?” Kate asked as she glanced over at the clock on the wall. “It almost midnight.”
“I think it’s time Mother and I had a little chat,” he replied and Kate knew he was mad, really, really mad. She wanted to ask him not to go, but she knew he needed to do this. He kissed her once again. Then he was gone.
Kate lay on her bed and stared at the ceiling. She wondered if Evelyn knew she had left him. Kate knew Evelyn would be positively gloating if she knew and that really pissed her off.
She closed her eyes and tried to clear her muddled thoughts. She needed to sort things with Callum, or let him go for good. Either way, she knew they couldn’t keep going the way they were. She could feel the tiredness take hold of her. Finally, she drifted off to sleep, her head full of Callum and what she needed to do.
Chapter 30
When Kate got to the hospital the next morning, she found Finn and Sara still next to Jacks bed. Sara was sleeping curled up in the chair, but Finn was wide awake and watching every breath his dad took.
“Hey,” Kate said, in a hush voice, as she took the seat next to Finn. “How’s he been?”
“The same,” Finn replied. “Asleep mostly.”
“Did you get any sleep?” Kate asked, but the dark circles under his eyes already gave her the answer to that question.
“I tried,” he replied, not taking his eyes from his father. “But all the machines beeping made it too hard. How the hell sick people ever sleep, attached to these things is beyond me.”
“You would be surprised,” Kate shrugged, as she briefly thought back to her time in hospital, just after the crash. Finn finally looked up at her and smiled.
“Thanks for coming back,” he said, grateful for the support. “Dan has just gone to get us some coffee.”
“Is there anything else you need,” Kate asked. “I could go get you some clean clothes? Something to eat?”
“Dan is going to go pick some stuff up,” he smiled at Kate. “But thanks for the offer.”
“Hey Son,” Jack croak from his bed.
“Dad,” Finn said, leaning in closer to his father. “How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?”
“I’m okay,” he replied. “Just tired.”
He looked past Finn towards Kate and smiled.
“Hey Kiddo,” he said in a bear whisper. “You, sort things out with Callum?”
“I am still working on it,” she replied with a smile, then quickly glanced at Finn. She felt like a complete bitch, when she saw the look on Finn’s face. Maybe being here wasn’t such a great idea. She was probably giving him mixed messages, and that was the last thing he needed at that precise time.
“Dad,” Sara said, as she suddenly sat up. “How are you feeling?”
“Hey sweetheart,” Jack said turning to his daughter and gave her a broad smile. “I’m okay.”
“I love you Daddy,” she said, leaning forward and kissing him on the cheek, as the tears danced in her eyes.
“I love you too princess,” Jack replied. “Please don’t cry. I will be okay and so will you. You have my handsome grandson to take care of.”
“But I want you too,” Sara said, unable to hold her tears back any longer.
“I know sweetheart,” Jack said. “And believe me, I wish I didn’t have to go anywhere. But your mom is calling me home.”
“Dad,” Finn said, moving closer to his father. “It’s okay. We will be okay. I will look after Sara and DJ, I promise.”
“Thank you son,” Jack whispered before he drifted off back to sleep. Sara stood up and walked out of the room to try and compose herself.
“That was a very sweet thing you did, Finn,” Kate said, as she softly touched him on the arm. She could feel him freeze and she quickly dropped her hand. “I…eh… I should go, this is a time for family and I am not family.”
She stood up, leaned into Jack and kissed him on the cheek. Then, with one more glance at Finn, she picked up her hand bag and headed out the door.
“Is everything okay?” Sara said, a look of sheer panic on her face when she saw Kate hurry out from her father’s room
“Everything is fine,” Kate replied. “I am just going to give you some space. I will call later, to check in.”
“Okay,” Sara replied, a look of confusion on her face. Kate smiled and hurried down the hallway. When she stepped into the lift, she slumped against the wall, as the doors closed. Coming here had been a huge mistake.
When the doors opened, she quickly headed for the door, as she searched her bag for her car keys. She had just stepped out into the bright morning sun when she heard a voice call her name.
“KATE!” Finn called out, as he ran up to her. “Kate, don’t go, please. I am sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Finn,” Kate replied. “The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you.”
“I know that,” he replied. “Look, I am not going to lie. I really like you and the thought of you and him, well it hurts. But right now… right now I need a friend. I wish we could be more than friends, but if friendship is all you can offer, then that is what I will take.”
“Finn, I will always be your friend,” Kate replied.
“Please come back in with me,” Finn asked Kate, as he reached out and took her hand. “I can’t do this on my own. I mean… I know Sara is there, but she has Dan. I need…a friend… to hold my hand too. Please.”
Kate smile and squeezed his hand.
“I promise I won’t let it go,” Kate replied, with a smile. Keeping hold of her hand, Finn turned and walked back into the hospital and back to his father’s room.
**********
They all spent the day camped out
next to Jack’s bed. He woke briefly a couple more times, but each time was for a shorter time than the one before.
The nurse and doctor kept a constant check on him, checking his blood pressure, temperature, listening to his chest, all the usual checks.
A couple of times they asked the family to step outside while they made Jack more comfortable. Kate knew it wasn’t going to be much longer. His heart was beating slower and slower. His breathing had become more shallow and slower also.
It was late in the afternoon. Finn had stepped outside to take a call and Dan convinced Sara to go with him to get a coffee. Kate was left alone with Jack in the room. She moved closer to Jack and took hold of his hand and softly stroked it with her fingertips.
“Jack,” she whispered. His eyes blinked but they didn’t opened. “Jack, I need to ask you a favour. When you go home to your Kathleen, will you watch over Emily? I know she has my mom with her, but a little girl needs a daddy. I couldn’t think of anyone I would rather have take that role right now. Tell her I love her…”
Kate couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. She cried for her little girl and for the life she will never have. She also cried for Jack and his family. Saying goodbye was never easy, especially for those left behind.
She leaned in closer to Jack and whispered.
“Tell her I am so sorry,” she sobbed softly. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned and found Finn standing behind her, tears dancing in his eyes.
“My dad will look after her,” he said with a reassuring smile. “He would love nothing more.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were there,” Kate said, as she quickly wiped the tears from her eyes.
“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop,” Finn said, as he took the seat next to Kate. “Are you okay?”
“I’m just being silly,” she said with a laugh.
“I don’t think it’s silly at all,” Finn replied. “I think it’s very sweet.”
“You are going to miss him a lot, aren’t you?” Kate said looking back at Jack. Despite all the tubes and machines, he looked very peaceful. He looked happy.
Somewhere Only We Know Page 20