“Yes, I have. I lost Jimmy.”
“Ma, you didn’t lose Jimmy. Jimmy’s not dead, he’s gay. There’s a big difference,” Kennedy said, shocked by Mrs. Montgomery’s narrow-mindedness.
“Same thing. While Jimmy’s gay, Jimmy’s dead in my eyes. There is no room for him in the house of the Lord.”
“You can’t be serious, Ma.”
“Sure. Jimmy die today, Jimmy’s going to burn in hell, that’s all to it. It’s right in the Bible,” Mrs. Montgomery said as if she’d written it herself.
“Okay, Ma, whatever you say. But the only way you’re going to convince me is if you show me. And I mean it has to say that word for word. No turning the scriptures around to make them mean what you’re saying,” Kennedy said, knowing that Mrs. Montgomery couldn’t.
Mrs. Montgomery glared. “Chile, I know you’re not doubting the word of God.”
“No, I’m not doubting anything. I just want you to show me in the Bible that that is the word of God and not just yours, that’s all. Didn’t you just say that we’re all God’s children, and he loves every last one of us?” Kennedy said and smiled on the inside because she knew that she had just beat Mrs. Montgomery.
“You ain’t funny, is you, Kennedy?” Mrs. Montgomery said, looking at Kennedy from head to toe.
“If you mean as in hilarious, then yes. But if you’re asking if I’m gay, no. I just believe that people are who they are, and we can’t help who we love or how we’re made.”
“Well then, get your coat and bring your hilarious tail on then. You still want to go see your sister, right? Well hurry up, I ain’t got all day,” Mrs. Montgomery said, flinging a kitchen towel in the air and walking out.
* * *
Kennedy finished showering and started getting dressed. Mrs. Montgomery had looked wounded, and Kennedy guessed that no one had ever challenged her beliefs before. She could imagine her downstairs on the phone with her prayer group, praying for Kennedy and her lost soul.
Slipping on her shoes, she heard Mrs. Montgomery call out for her to hurry up. Kennedy took her time. She wasn’t worried about being left because she was the one who was driving, not Mrs. Montgomery. Kennedy stood in front of the mirror and primped just to delay when her cell phone rang.
“Hello.”
“Michael Montgomery, please,” a very familiar male voice said.
Kennedy took a good look at the cell phone. Michael had taken the wrong phone with him.
“He’s unavailable. May I take a message?” Kennedy asked, thinking that this man sounded like Derrick.
“Can you tell him that Mr. Jacobs—”
“Derrick?” Kennedy asked in disbelief. How did Derrick know where to find her?
“Kennedy? What are you doing answering Mr. Montgomery’s phone?”
“I picked it up by mistake, mine looks just like it. Oh, here mine is, right in my purse. I’m at his office picking up something for Simone and he stepped out for a second. What are you doing calling him?” Kennedy asked.
“He’s going to do my taxes for me. I guess I can just fax my paperwork over to his secretary,” Derrick said.
“Oh, okay. Listen, I’ll tell him that you called. I feel like such a fool answering his phone. I hope he doesn’t get upset,” Kennedy said and reminded herself to go to Simone’s office in Manhattan to get something, anything, just in case Derrick asked her about it.
“Don’t worry about it, sis, anyone could’ve made that mistake. I’ll talk to you soon, take care,” Derrick said and hung up.
* * *
Kennedy walked into Simone’s room and grew weary. The room was dark and smelled like antiseptic. Simone’s hair was a mess, flakes of dandruff lay on top. Her right eye was bandaged, her arm in a cast, and her skin was dull. Kennedy had never seen her look so bad. Cards, flowers, balloons, and teddy bears filled the room and would’ve made some unknowing person think that all was fine and dandy, but it wasn’t. Simone lay in the bed with her light brown eyes open, but when Kennedy looked in them she saw nothing. Not a morsel of life. Yes, she was alive, she was living and breathing, but she was like Kennedy had once been, dead on the inside.
Simone had been devastated when she woke up and all she said that she remembered was Nigel’s boot coming at her face. Simone didn’t miscarry, but had to give birth unconscious. In the end, the doctors said that the baby just wasn’t strong enough to make it and Simone almost didn’t either. The doctors had difficulty stopping her from hemorrhaging and later discovered that she had internal bleeding as well.
“Hey, sis, how’re you doing? You feel any better today?” Kennedy asked and rubbed Simone’s hand.
“I’m trying, Ken, I’m really trying. But you don’t know how hard it was for me to wake up and not know where I was. It was terrible to wake up to find out that I lost the baby and almost my life. It tore me apart when the doctor told me that I’ll probably never have children. It felt like I lost a part of myself. Now I understand what you felt, but I think mine is a little different. With Kharri, at least you knew what you would be missing. But I don’t and I’ll never have that. I’ll never know what he would’ve been like, or what he would’ve looked like alive. I’ll never get to see his eyes, Kennedy, or hear him call me Mommy. And I wanted that, Ken, I really did. He wasn’t a mistake, you know, I don’t think I ever told anyone that, but he wasn’t. I knew what I was doing.” Simone cried.
“Shh, it’ll be alright. It may not seem like it, but it’ll get better, trust me. You just concentrate on getting yourself out of here, okay? We need you, I need you, you need you. Don’t give up, Simone,” Kennedy said as she joined her sister in tears.
Simone tried to sit up but couldn’t. She squeezed Kennedy’s hand. “I believe you, it’s just hard. I know that I have to go on, just like I told you to do. But just like you’ll never forget Kharri, I’ll never forget him.”
“I know . . . I know, and it’s okay. Now come on and help me get you up. I’m going to give you a shower before these nurses come in and tell me it’s against hospital policy,” Kennedy said as she took Simone by the arm and gently pulled her.
“I don’t know, Kennedy. You know I got an incision on my stomach—”
“Girl, please. I know you don’t want to go home smelling like that. Just come on, I’ll just wash around it. You know, the important parts,” Kennedy teased and was happy that she put a smile on Simone’s face.
Kennedy bathed Simone, dressed her, then did her hair and makeup. She stepped back and admired her work and smiled. Simone’s coffee-colored skin glowed again, bringing out her light baby browns. She looked just like her old self with the exception of the scar on the side of her head and a faint trace of a black eye. Kennedy beamed and admired her sister’s strength.
The doctors said that Simone was a fighter and had fought for her life every second that she was on that operating table. They were surprised that she had pulled through, but Kennedy wasn’t. Simone had always been strong; she was the one who held the three of them together after their parents died.
“What are you smiling at?” Simone asked.
“You.”
“Why?” Simone tilted her head and pushed her hair out of her face.
“Because I’m admiring you, and I love you.” Kennedy smiled.
“No tears, Kennedy. We Jacobs women have cried too much these last few months.”
“Amen, sister. Amen.”
* * *
Courtney had beaten Derrick at four straight games of pool. Derrick was surprised because he considered himself to be a good shot. All night he had watched Courtney intensely, and couldn’t wait to get home. Derrick twirled the ice cubes in his glass in an effort to mix his drink.
“Seems like all the liquor’s on the bottom. Mine’s the same way,” Courtney said.
“Yeah, all the Coke seems to be on top, or maybe the Bacardi’s hiding,” Derrick joked.
“It’s definitely hiding. Let’s order a double,” Courtney said and beckoned the wait
ress.
“Order some buffalo wings when she gets over here. This liquor is making me hungry again,” Derrick said and rubbed his stomach.
“It’s not the liquor. You know Chinese food doesn’t stick. You want to go over there and sit down?” Courtney pointed to an empty table.
“Yeah, you lead.”
As Derrick followed, a much older man walked past and winked at Courtney. He couldn’t see Courtney’s reaction but whatever it was made the man smile from ear to ear. Derrick guessed that the man assumed he and Courtney were just friends because they hadn’t shared any public displays of affection.
“You know him?” Derrick sneered.
“No, why?”
“I was just wondering what would make him react like that.”
“Like what? The way he winked at me?”
“No, the way he reacted after the wink. What did you do?”
“I winked back. I didn’t mean any harm though. I hope that doesn’t bother you.”
“Well, actually it does. It’s disrespectful, don’t you think? But I guess since we didn’t share any PDA’s he didn’t know.”
“PDA’s?”
“Public displays of affection.”
Courtney hesitated. “Oh, I’m sorry, Derrick, it’ll never happen again. I just thought that I’d repay him the compliment, that’s all. I’m not interested in him. I was just trying to make him feel good, he looks old enough to be my father.”
Derrick nodded.
Courtney leaned across the table and kissed Derrick passionately. “You don’t have anything to worry about. I’m all yours.”
* * *
On the ride home Derrick felt embarrassed for showing his insecurity. He hadn’t planned on the conversation going the way it had. Derrick grabbed Courtney’s hand and kissed it. He smiled about the man in the pool hall and the look on his face when he and Courtney shared their first PDA.
“Courtney, I forgot to ask you if you want to come by tomorrow to celebrate with me.”
“Celebrate what?”
“My acceptance to law school.” Derrick grinned.
“For real? Congrats! Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
“Because I don’t think I’m going to go to the one I just got into. I have somewhere else in mind.”
“Where?”
“All I’m saying is Ivy League.”
“No? You’ll get in, baby. Just mark my words, you’ll get in.”
Derrick loved Courtney’s confidence in him. He looked out at the city lights and felt Courtney grab his hand. Damn, he was in love. He couldn’t believe that he finally had what he wanted—someone he could really love. “So, will you join me tomorrow?”
“I’m there, sweetie. What time?”
“That depends on the family. Kennedy and Simone are supposed to be coming around six, but I wouldn’t set my clock by it, if you know what I mean.”
Courtney adjusted the rearview mirror. “Sure, sweetie.”
~ 17 ~
Kennedy stopped and looked Simone in the face. Simone had been home from the hospital for more than a month but Kennedy was still worried about her and refused to let her stay home alone. If she wasn’t there, then Derrick was. Overall Simone had been pretty good about it except for when she kicked one of them out from time to time. Kennedy didn’t worry though because that was a sign Simone was getting back to being herself.
“Could you please stop looking at me? I’m fine, Kennedy, really.” Simone stopped cooking and put her good hand on her hip and smirked.
“Okay, okay. I was just trying to help. Damn.” Kennedy held up her hands in surrender.
Derrick left the room in search of a hiding spot in Simone’s office. He hadn’t been in the best of moods since Courtney had stood him up again. Derrick found a corner chair and sat down. He caught on to Simone’s mood quick and no one had to tell him twice that she didn’t want to be mothered by Kennedy or anyone else. Derrick decided to search Simone’s bookcase for a book to borrow when Kennedy came in.
“She kicked you out, huh?” Derrick laughed.
“Yes, of course. So what are you doing? I hope you’re not looking for a book to borrow because you know Simone isn’t having it.”
“Maybe she won’t lend you a book but she’ll lend me one. I return things that I borrow,” Derrick said as he pulled The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran off one of the shelves.
“Forget it, D. She’s definitely not letting that one go. Besides you should know that one by heart. How many times have you read it?”
“Not enough. You should read it sometime, you can learn a lot. Besides, it’s mine. I told you that I’m the only one who returns things.” Derrick sat down and flipped through the pages.
“Derrick, remember last month when you invited us over to celebrate, and you said that you wanted to tell us something? Well, what was it? I thought about it when I got home and remembered that you never told us.” Kennedy walked over to where Derrick sat and leaned against him.
“Get your pregnant butt off me,” Derrick teased. “It was nothing really, I had forgotten about it. It was probably something about Jericha,” Derrick said. Jericha was the last person Kennedy wanted to hear about.
“Oh, okay. Well I’m going back before Simone burns the house down. You know she calls herself trying to cook again. You coming?”
“Soon. Please go and help that girl but don’t be too obvious. You know she’s still sensitive. I can’t believe Nigel did that to her. When I see him, it’s on.”
“I know, D, I can’t blame you and I wouldn’t stop you. But don’t worry about Simone, I’ll just tiptoe around her. And I don’t care how sensitive she is, I’m still not eating her food.” Kennedy lightened the mood.
Downstairs she found Simone standing by the sink staring at the running water from the faucet. She stood by the door and watched her for a moment. Kennedy put her arm around Simone and they both just stood there for a few minutes.
“Thanks, Ken.”
“No problem, sis. You were there for me too.” Kennedy kissed Simone on her cheek.
“How did you know what I was going to say?”
“I know you, girl. Now turn that water off before you drown us all.” Kennedy laughed to lighten the mood.
Derrick came into the kitchen and sat down at the table with his book. Simone looked over his shoulder and saw that it wasn’t hers and made a face at Kennedy who busted out laughing because she knew that Simone had been trying to keep it. Simone was always trying to keep something of theirs. She had always teased that she was entitled to anything that they had because she helped raise them.
“Forget it, Simone,” Derrick said without looking up.
“What?” Simone asked and stuck her tongue out behind his back.
“You’re not getting the book, that’s what,” Derrick glanced up and said.
“You’re not getting it, that’s what,” Kennedy mimicked.
“Oh, y’all got jokes.” Derrick nodded. “I’m going to the store. Do you two comedians want anything?”
“No.” Simone winked at Kennedy.
Kennedy just shook her head.
Derrick paused in the doorway. “Kennedy, I forgot to tell you that I stopped by your apartment. I didn’t know you moved.”
“When? Where?” Simone asked.
Kennedy bit her lip. “I just recently moved. I thought I told you,” Kennedy lied. “I’ll have you two over when I’m finished decorating.”
* * *
After Derrick left, Simone and Kennedy sat on the sofa, shared a container of ice cream, and gossiped. Kennedy confessed to sleeping with Jared and not knowing who the baby’s father was.
“It could happen to anybody,” Simone offered.
“Yeah, right anybody, but not me.” Kennedy sighed.
“So how does Michael feel about it, and when were you going to tell me?”
Startled, Kennedy asked, “What?”
“You heard me. When were you planning on telling me that y
ou and Michael were involved? That’s where you live, huh? Do I look that stupid to you? Now you know that I was going to find out eventually. And how on earth did you think that you were going to have his baby and cover it up? I work with him, remember?”
Kennedy searched Simone’s cold face before she answered, “Listen, I didn’t plan on hiding it from you forever. I just figured that you couldn’t do anything else but accept it once the baby was born. I would’ve told you about him and me, I just didn’t want to hear your mouth, Simone. Sometimes you can get a little too carried away. Does Derrick know, too?”
“No, Derrick doesn’t have a clue about you and Michael. As far as me getting upset, I have reason to get carried away. Remember Derrick and his fiasco that cost me my job? You’d be the same way if you were me,” Simone said and passed Kennedy the ice cream.
“But Derrick’s situation was completely different from mine. I love Michael and I’ve been seeing him more than a year now,” Kennedy said and passed the ice cream back.
“Well, what about Jared?”
“I love him too.” Kennedy smiled.
“Okay, I can accept that. But who are you in love with? Think about that for a moment, I’m going to get the mail.” Simone passed the ice cream back to Kennedy and got up.
Kennedy didn’t have to think long to make a choice between Michael and Jared. She was in love with Jared. He would always be the love of her life. But she had to be honest with herself—the days of her and Jared were over a long time ago.
A few minutes later, Simone plopped down on the sofa next to Kennedy, cleared her throat, but didn’t say anything. She cleared her throat again.
“Well, what is it? Are you going to say anything or do you need a drink of water?” Kennedy asked.
“I asked you a question first. Don’t you think it’s common courtesy for you to answer mine?” Simone said and opened an envelope without looking at it.
“Jared. I’ll always be in love with Jared. Happy now?”
“The question is, are you happy? I’m not the one in a relationship with one man and in love with another,” Simone said as she tore open another piece of mail.
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