by Lucy Smoke
I struggled backwards, army crawling in reverse until I was free from the bushes. In the silence of the forest, I moved as quietly as possible, though there was no helping the occasional crunch of leaves under my tennis shoes. I tried to keep on the dirt or grass as much as possible because it absorbed most of the noise I made. I kept the gun pointed down, but at the ready. My heart raced. A cough sounded in the distance and I froze for a split second before I took off running.
Footfalls sounded behind me and I realized that I was being followed, tracked. My heart pounded faster. I saw a tree with a few low branches up ahead. I took a chance and shoved my gun down, letting it hang on me by its strap as I reached up and used old muscles that hadn’t been exercised since I was still practicing gymnastics. I hefted myself up onto the lowest one. I had to leap a bit just to reach it.
My hands closed over the branch. I clenched my stomach muscles and with my biceps aching, I lifted myself up and over the branch. It creaked under my weight and I heard the footfalls coming closer. I moved as fast as possible, reaching for the next branch and then the next and the next, until I was halfway up an incredibly tall oak tree. The footfalls slowed before coming to a complete stop.
A dark head appeared just under the tree. It was a girl in a deep red t-shirt. She turned her head from side to side before moving slowly around the tree. I held my breath as she moved, wondering if I could reach for my gun and manage to get off a shot before she heard me. I kept one arm above my head, hand glued to the branch there as I slowly released with my other hand and leaned down for my gun. It smacked into the tree and the sound ricocheted.
Both of us froze. Then the girl quickly circled the tree again, gun up and aiming around. Her feet made more noise as she moved, and I took that chance to grab my gun and get it centered against my shoulder. I had to clutch it with both hands and my feet wobbled on the branch, I moved closer to the trunk of the tree for stability, aiming downward. I tried to keep steady as I marked my gun at her back. She turned in another circle and I put my finger over the trigger. Sweat beaded on my neck and slid down into my shirt. It was hot and muggy, even under shade. The bark of the tree scratched at me, distracting me. It was hard, but I took small, short breaths – like the ones I used to take when I was a kid alone in my room at night, afraid of the monsters in the dark. I hadn’t wanted them to hear me and know I was there. Just like now.
I re-centered my finger over the trigger and pulled back. The gun jammed against my shoulder again and I winced as a loud cry sounded below. The girl stumbled, the gun falling from her hands as she turned and clutched her shoulder. She whirled around in a circle, eyes squinting, looking. I didn’t dare move. For some reason, I still didn’t want her to know where I was despite the fact that she was out of the game. Her face was a mask of irritation, but she begrudgingly put her gun up and called out a frustrated, “I’m out!” before stalking off.
I waited several minutes before I slowly descended the tree. My abs ached, and my legs were sore by the time I made it down, but I was proud. I took off again, heading back for the same area Texas had told me to stay in. Hopefully he hadn’t gone back and found me missing and freaked out. When I arrived, other than a few telltale marks of where I had lain before, nothing was changed. I crawled back under the bushes and set the gun back up. I was fiddling with end of it, trying to pull it further under the bushes and keep it from showing through the leaves when two sets of footfalls sounded behind me.
I screamed as a pair of hands reached under the bushes behind me and grabbed my ankles, yanking me out from under the leaves. I twisted over on my back as the pulling halted and looked up into Bellamy and Texas’ smiling faces.
“Jesus!” I snapped. “You damn near gave me a freaking heart attack!” I stood up and slapped at both of their arms before adjusting my clothes that had ridden up as they had dragged me across the ground.
“Lunch is ready,” Bellamy said with a shrug.
I whipped my gun off and shoved it in Texas’ arms before taking off. I heard both of them laughing as I ran. It was the first time they had seen me willingly exercising that day.
Lunch was simple burgers and hot dogs grilled and handed out to anyone with a plate. Texas and Bellamy met back up with me and Texas took my vest and jacket to return to wherever it was supposed to go. When he returned we ate together and they informed me that the training day was pretty much over. We were expected to remain behind – specifically I was, because I was under penalty – to help clean up. I didn’t mind that. The food had been free, and it had been a fun day, albeit an exhausting one.
Even as I helped with trash pickup, I noticed that there were plenty of activities I hadn’t even gotten to try – there had been tree rock climbing. My eyes widened at that. I hadn’t even known that was a thing. But there were giant plastic rocks screwed into some of the larger trees with ropes dangling from somewhere far up above. Though I was curious enough to picture myself doing it next time – if there was a next time – I couldn’t see where the ropes went and that scared me. How high up did they go?
“Shorty!” My head jerked up as I was shocked out of my musings. Bellamy raced across the field, and I narrowed my eyes at him as he came to a stop in front of me.
“That is not my new nickname,” I said.
He grinned ruefully. “Come on,” he said, grabbing my hand and tugging me away from where I had been tying up trash bags. “You’re done for the day. They have someone coming out to pick up the rest. Let’s go home and take a shower.”
“A shower…” I said with a happy sigh, picking up the pace. “I could go for a shower right now.”
Bellamy chuckled his agreement. We hit the trail again and I realized it was another run back to the car. I groaned and begged my legs not to collapse. I promised myself a nice long soak in my own personal tub just as soon as we got home. They just had to make it to the SUV. Luckily, they did. Wavering just before we hit the parking lot, Texas pulled up and I hopped in the back while Bellamy got into the front.
“What’s up?” Bellamy asked. I looked up, noting Texas’ serious face as I grabbed my phone out of the backseat pocket where I had left it and set it on my lap.
Texas flicked a glance back at me through the rearview mirror before answering. “Knix called. Alex is at the house. He wants to see Harlow.”
“Am I in trouble?” I asked hesitantly. “I did the penalty thing.” Being in trouble with the guys was different than being in trouble with Alex, for sure. I hoped I wasn’t.
“Don’t worry,” Bellamy said, looking over his shoulder at me. “He probably wants to ask you some questions about what happened last night.” With that, I knew he wasn’t talking about the drinking. Drinking kind of came second place to the girl. I leaned back and clutched the phone in my hands. If I closed my eyes, I remembered her face and it made my chest ache and anger boil once more.
When we pulled up to the house, Bellamy and Texas got out first. I sat there for a moment longer before unbuckling my seatbelt and sliding out onto the driveway. Texas had left the SUV parked behind Alex’s white Subaru. We ascended the stairs and Bellamy held the door open for Texas and me.
Alex and Knix were alone in the living room. Alex was dressed in jeans and a light blue button down with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. I hesitated in the doorway as Bellamy and Texas brushed past and welcomed him.
“Hey, Alex,” Texas said.
“Good to see you,” Bellamy greeted.
Alex smiled, but it was small, not at all like his usual wide grin.
“Harlow,” he said, directing his attention to me, “do you mind if we talk in your room?” I looked to Knix, but he didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what else to say, so I nodded. Alex stood and followed me.
My bedroom felt tiny with Alex in it. He sat at the desk and I sat on my bed, but we were barely a few feet away from each other. We might as well have been sitting side by side. I stared at the light purple comforter that someone had changed out for
me since I had been gone. I suspected it was Knix. He seemed to like doing laundry when he was thinking – or really any sort of chore. It baffled me.
"Knix told me about what happened last night," Alex began. I had rarely ever heard him so stern and serious. I raised my eyes from my comforter and looked at him head on. "Do you know the girl's name?" he asked. I shook my head and he sighed. Silence reigned.
Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I met his gaze and sat straighter. "What's going to happen now?" I asked.
He shook his head. "A team will be sent in just to check things out," he replied. "It's a very serious accusation. None of the girls have been willing to let Marv interview them. The families are worried."
"And the police?" I was shaky as I asked because, truthfully, a part of me didn't want the police to be called. I wanted to go. I wanted to be the one to find whoever hurt that girl from the club. It's not like I would be super badass and take him down in handcuffs or anything. We weren't cops. I wasn't a cop. I just wanted to kick him in the balls...while wearing heels...a couple hundred times.
Alex sighed. "Like I said, Harlow, it's a very serious accusation–"
"Do you believe me?" I asked suddenly. "Do you believe her?"
Alex stared at me. "I have to look at this objectively, Harlow. A person's first instinct is to believe the victim. So, yes, in theory, I believe you and her, but I also know that my judgment is clouded. I trust you, kiddo, of course I believe you. I know what kind of young woman you are – trustworthy, hardworking, reliable."
"I want to go," I said.
Alex looked at me like he was sizing me up for something, not looking at all surprised. "Why?" he asked.
I blinked. I don't know what I had been expecting, but I wasn't so sure it had been that. I broke his gaze and looked down, thinking. "I want to go because of her."
It hurt to picture her face again and made the anger return full force, but I did so anyway. The girl had been withered in my mind, on the edge of a long platform that drifted into nothingness. I could see it in her eyes and it scared me. I finally realized why. Her eyes had reminded me of my mom's...back before...when things were bad and when she was different. When the medicine hadn't been working as well and I hadn't been around to help as much.
"Okay," Alex said.
I jerked my eyes up to meet his. "Okay?" I asked.
He nodded. "Okay," he repeated. "I already told Knix that I thought this team would be the best to deal with it. Black teams always have the most diversity. He told me you demanded to be included and I wanted to know why. I think I see why."
There was no way I had said my thoughts aloud...right?
Alex smiled at me as he stood and placed a wide palm on my shoulder. "Knix will handle everything. Just follow your team lead and trust in your teammates. Let them lead and teach you. Lean on them for support." His hand slipped away as he headed for the door, but a moment later, Alex paused – his hand on the knob. "When you return," he said, looking back at me, "I want you to think about what your next step is."
"What do you mean?" My hands gripped the comforter, squeezing, unsure.
His smile faded. "Everyone has their niche, Harlow. I want you to think about finding yours. If you want to go to school, let us know. We can help."
"O-okay," I said shakily.
He opened the door. "And Harlow?" Alex twisted to look at me over his shoulder. "Don't kill the boys, yea?"
I laughed as he shut the door behind him. I was still laughing when I let myself fall back against the warm fluffy pillows. Me kill them? I thought. Fat chance.
Chapter 11
Soft music played on my newly acquired computer as it had when I went to bed. The screen was pitch black and the silky tunes slid over my ears as I rolled over and nuzzled against a warm chest. I blinked bleary eyes awake at that. I knew that I had gone to bed alone. Marv hadn't come home for dinner. I looked up at the face of the body next to me and he stared down at me, his normally bright, cheerful eyes dark and foreboding. I pulled away.
"When did you get in?" I whispered, afraid to break the spell that was cast over the room. His eyes glittered at me dangerously and I scooted even further back. Slowly sitting up against the pillows.
When he didn't answer me, I frowned. "Are you okay?" I asked.
After several moments of frightening silence punctuated only by the soft music, he sat up. I realized he was still dressed for the day, wearing slightly wrinkled slacks, though I could still see where the iron creases were. It was obvious he had been in them for several hours. His jacket was missing, but he wore a white button-down under a black Burberry cashmere sweater – had he slept in his clothes?
"No," he said gruffly, "I'm not fucking okay." Startled, I backed up as he rose over me. "I thought at least Alex would fuckin see that you're not ready to go into a mission like this."
"The etiquette camp?" I clarified, confused. "What are you talking about? You wanted this to get checked out. You've been pushing for this from the very beginning. You let me go with you on some of the interviews."
"Yes," he said. "Interviews." The way he emphasized the word left me with a bad feeling. "I did not intend for you to go in a way that was dangerous. You're still in fucking training for fuck's sake. Knix and Alex are both insane."
I blinked up at him, shocked by his use of foul language. Sure, I slipped every now and then. The guys did occasionally. But I had never heard Marv sound so...deeply enraged. He leveraged himself over me. One of his legs swung over the both of mine until I was pinned beneath him. "I don't want you going," he said. "Turn it down."
"Turn it – no!" I hissed at him when I realized what he was asking me to do. "No way in hell," I said firmly. "You," I punctuated with a poke to his chest, "were the one so adamant about checking this out."
Marv reached up and snagged my hand. His ocean blue eyes sparkling dangerously. "Not with you at risk," he said and his tone was dark – frightening.
"What about the last mission we went on–Grayson–" He growled when I said that name and I rolled my eyes. "You were perfectly fine with that mission."
"I was there," he snapped. "I was able to keep you safe. You were beside me almost every fucking second. If not with me, then you were with one of the others. If you do this, it'll be different. You'll be on your own for ninety percent of the groundwork."
That was new information to me. "You're not going?"
He pressed down, closer to my chest. "Oh, don't you fucking worry, Sunshine." He said my nickname through gritted teeth. He was still angry, but it was his word – his pet name for me – he wasn't the kind of person to give that up. "I'll be there. All of us will be there. But we won't be with you 24/7 like we were last time. If anything happens to you, we might not–"
"Marv." I reached up and gripped his arms as he hovered over me and he sank even deeper against me as I said his name. His face was mere inches above my own. I tried not to stare at his lips, but I could feel his breath on mine. "I'll be fine. I have to do this, and you have to let me."
"I don't like it," he replied, reaching up and gripping my each of my wrists as I moved my hands to his face. I cupped his cheeks as he held his weight with his elbows planted on the bed. We were so close, impossibly so. I could feel his breath on my lips.
"At some point, I'm going to have to go on my own. You can't be around me forever." I tried cracking a smile. "And let's face it," I said, "I'm not a china doll."
He didn't smile back. Instead, Marv gripped my hands and brought them back to the bed, pressing them into the mattress on either side of my head. He lowered his face until my breathing sped up and words choked in my throat. “What would happen if someone got on top of you like this?” he asked, his face a hard mask. “What would you do?”
“I would defend myself,” I replied. My voice shook, though. I could feel him all over me, his breath against my cheek.
“What if you were sleeping? Drugged? What then?” he demanded.
“Marv.” My voi
ce dropped to a whisper. There was something going on between us, something intimate. “Someone has to go.”
“It doesn’t have to be you.” His eyes glittered in the darkness, his voice shaking. “You don’t have to go.”
“If it’s not me then it’ll be someone just like me,” I replied. “I want to go. I want to help. You started us down this path. Don’t you think those girls – that girl – needs someone to stand up for them. To find out what’s going on?”
He was quiet for several moments. The tension between us pulled taut, like a tightly stretched string almost ready to break. My heart pounded. My breathing caught several times. I knew if he let go of my hands, they would be shaking. His own palms pressed into me, holding me down as his body hovered over me. I wanted him to let me go so I could hug him. I had this incessant need to pull him close, to hold him. I wanted to reassure him that I would be alright, that nothing would happen to me. I didn’t know if it would be a lie, though. There was every possibility that going to the etiquette camp could end up with me getting hurt.
I could feel him trembling as he spoke next. "You will do every fucking thing we tell you to do," he stated. "Nod your head if you understand." I nodded.
"Good." Still, he didn’t move. In fact, he pressed more fully into me. His hands spread out and his fingers intertwined with mine. “All I want is for you to stay safe.”
“I will be,” I said. “I’m not going alone.”
He pulled back and looked down at me, one of his hands released mine so that he could brush back some of my hair with cool fingers. “You’re so special, Harlow,” he whispered in the darkness of the room. “I don’t think you even realize how special you are.”