by Lucy Smoke
Bellamy moved back against the pillows and pulled me with him until we were both on our sides, facing each other. "They weren't allowed to tell anyone," he said quietly. "We didn't expect you to call. Alex has been checking in regularly, though, and Knix wanted to keep it from him."
"So..." I said, looking up at him through my lashes. "Will you tell me?"
Bellamy was quiet for another moment as he reached up and brushed my hair back, tucking it behind my ear. I shivered as his fingertips brushed the top of my ear and then my cheek, down to my chin and then my neck. "Knix was setting up a meeting with Ms. Enders," he admitted. "And I was meeting with some people in the local town."
"Knix was here?" I asked, shocked. "When? Is he–"
"No, he's not here anymore. He's back at the hotel with the others. He was just asking about how you are adjusting and doing some subtle questioning."
"He was getting her side?" I asked.
"Knix was seeing how she would react to the rumors." Bellamy’s eyes dipped down to mine again and he smiled. He was so beautiful when he smiled. I knew most guys wouldn't like to be called that, but he was. His eyes sparkled and crinkled, and it lit up his whole face. I loved it when he smiled. I sighed, relaxing further into the bedding. Even though I knew it was wrong that he was there and that he was probably going to get into trouble when Knix found out – because there were no secrets, Bellamy would tell him – I was still happy he was there. I curled closer to him, soaking in his warmth in the cold glimmering room.
There were no secrets between the guys...I thought. My eyes blinked open and I looked up at Bellamy again. His eyes were on mine immediately. I wanted to ask if he had told them. If he had told Knix or Texas or Marv about what had happened between us in the BMW. The words dried up in my mouth. Bellamy dipped his head, leaning close. His breath brushed over my lips.
He whispered, "Tell me to stop." I blinked. I opened my mouth. I tried. Nothing came out. "Please, Sweetheart," he begged, shifting closer. My hand touched his chest and he groaned. "If you don't tell me to stop..." he let the sentence drift. I couldn't, I realized. I couldn't tell him to stop because I didn't want him to. I wanted him to kiss me so much that I couldn't even wait for him to do it himself.
I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. He groaned under their ministrations. I licked the seam of his mouth and gently pressed in. His mouth opened, and he kissed me back. Strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me close until I was lying on top of him. I gasped as my legs lowered on either side of his hips to straddle him. He sat up, one hand coming up to grip the back of my head and hold me to him. Both of my hands were tangled in his t-shirt. I had to let go, I knew.
One of my hands slid up, wrapping around his neck. I wanted to touch his hair. To grip it. Not many guys had long hair. His shoulder length, dark locks were like a present for me. My other hand drifted up to it and I ran my fingertips through the strands. They were silky, like he had recently showered. I shuddered as Bellamy bit down lightly on my bottom lip. His tongue snaked its way into my mouth and I moaned.
Bellamy rolled, spreading me out on the comforter. He pulled back and grinned wickedly. "Shhh," he cautioned, "we don't want anyone to hear."
I nodded, dazed and he grinned again, descending back towards my mouth.
He kissed me lightly, brushing my lips softly. So softly, it left me frustrated. I curled both of my fists into his hair and held him harder to me as I kissed him. I ravaged his mouth, pressing forward. He groaned and gripped me with the same intensity. His hands on my hips, holding me tightly to him. "Harlow," he whispered against my mouth. "I didn't bring any...uh..." I kissed his neck and he moaned, trying to stifle the noise. "Sweetheart," he panted, holding me, gripping me harder. "We can't."
Bellamy yanked away from me, his chest heaving, and I felt bereft. Cold. Alone. I stared up at him, knowing that my cheeks were flushed. Looking down, I realized that the top buttons of my blouse were undone. I blinked slowly, looking back up at Bellamy. He was staring at me as a man might stare at his last meal – there was want, hunger...need. My heart rate kicked into overdrive. "We can't," he said slowly, his shoulders rising and falling. "We can't do anything more?" Bellamy guessed.
I nodded, so wrapped up in him that I couldn’t focus on what he was saying. All I knew was that I would agree to anything he wanted if it would just put his mouth back on me right then. He hovered over me, and I reached up, cupping his cheek. "Are you okay with this?" he asked, his voice rough, grating in his throat. When I nodded, he shook his head. "No, Sweetheart. I need to hear you say it. Tell me, are you okay with this?"
"I'm okay, Bellamy." I spoke barely above a whisper. "It's okay."
I knew he heard me because, in the next moment, he came over me again. He brushed his hands up my thighs, pushing my skirt up, and settled between my thighs before kissing me again. Our lips sparked something electric and I gasped as his fingers slid under my skirt. He laid out over me, pressing me into the bed. My legs wrapped around him as he ground himself into me, trying to pull me closer. I groaned, feeling the rigid zipper of his jeans between my legs. I squeezed him, wanting to feel it again. I had never felt anything like it.
Shivering as Bellamy trailed open-mouthed kisses down my neck, he quickly undid more of the buttons that held the front of my blouse closed. "God, you're beautiful, Sweetheart," he whispered. I didn't know how to respond, but I felt beautiful. When he looked at me, I knew he wasn't lying or just trying to make me feel good. His whole body rippled over me once more, sending another groan out of my throat.
His mouth silenced the noises I was making, and I couldn't believe it was me making them. Bellamy made me forget where we were. He made me forget why we were there, and why we needed to be quiet. "We can't," he gasped, "fuck, we can't."
I moaned in disbelief as he pulled away from me. His dark eyes met mine. My skin felt alive. My veins were filled with sparks. I didn't know what I was searching for, but it was there, just out of my reach. He looked at me, making my skin flush further as his eyes trailed down my chest. I realized that he had managed to get my shirt completely undone and I was stretched out under him in nothing but my skirt and a bra. His eyes darkened.
"It's okay, Sweetheart," he said when I made another sound of protest as he pulled further away. "I'll take care of you. Don't worry."
"What?" I sat up as Bellamy pulled his shirt over his head and whatever else I had been about to say was lost. Bellamy's naked chest was a muse that Greek artists used to create their statues. My mind puddled and turned to mush as he slowly backed down the bed and lowered himself, sliding his hands up my bare legs. My skirt was pushed up against my upper thighs and everywhere he touched sent waves of fiery heat through me.
"Do you trust me?" he asked. I blinked at him, confused. What did he mean? Of course, I trusted him. "Do you trust me, Harlow?" he repeated, his voice harder, demanding.
I nodded before I realized that he wanted me to speak. "Yea – I mean, yes," I panted, "I trust you."
One side of his mouth lifted in a half smile. "God, I hope so, Sweetheart. Because you're gonna give me blue balls by the end of the night." I gasped as he spread my legs and lowered his head.
Bellamy pressed a soft kiss to the inside of each of my thighs before gently urging them further apart. He licked my skin, sending more shivers trailing down my spine. My vision blurred as I found my hands in his hair. But he shook them loose for a moment because his mouth reached the band of my underwear. I tensed, and he sat up slightly, his fingers trailing the edge. His eyes bored into mine. “Will you let me?” he asked.
I bit my lip, looking down at him. “I…”
“I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do,” he whispered, his voice lowering.
My breathing was ragged, and something was there. I felt it. An electric zing between us or...it was something, I knew it. I just didn’t know what it was. I found myself nodding, despite my uncertainty. No matter what, I trusted Bellamy. I trusted him just as mu
ch as I trusted Marv, Knix, and Texas. That thought had barely entered my mind only to be shoved out just as Bellamy’s warm hands slid into the sides of my underwear and pulled them down my legs. I held my legs closed as he tossed them to the side, but he gently urged them back around his hips again.
“Don’t worry, we can go slow. I won’t do anything more tonight, just...let me help you,” he whispered, brushing against my lips again.
I closed my eyes and let him kiss me once more. I felt so safe in his arms, protected and cherished. It wasn’t something I was used to feeling and in the last month I had felt it almost every day. I was on overload. I felt like, in this moment, Bellamy could have asked me anything and I would have bared my soul for him. Even if it hurt.
Our mouths connected, and his jean-clad groin rubbed against my naked skin. I shuddered, gripping his shoulders, pulling on him, arching up to grind back. I reached down, sliding my hand over his chest and down his abdomen. He was rock solid, all over. It made me kiss him harder.
I felt the hard strain of his jeans and when my knuckles grazed against it, he jerked and grabbed my hand. "No," he said, panting.
"I want to–" Bellamy cut me off by grabbing my other hand as I reached for him again. He held both of my wrists and then transferred them to one of his hands. His fingers closed around my limbs, making me feel dainty and small.
"No, Sweetheart." His voice was so gruff, I could barely understand him. He cleared his throat. "If you touch me, I'll go off like a teenage boy."
"I'm a teenager," I pointed out.
"Barely," he said. "And you're not a guy. We're not always known for our...stamina."
"Are you saying you can't keep up?" I teased.
Bellamy chuckled, releasing my hands. "I can keep up with you," he said, nipping at my bottom lip. My belly tightened, and down lower, sparks of heat popped. "But I didn't bring any protection tonight. I don't want to risk anything."
"Oh." My gaze drifted downward, and Bellamy hooked a finger under my chin. Nudging me back up, he pressed a quick kiss to my lips.
"That doesn't mean we can't do other things," he said. His warm hands pressed between my legs again, fingers sliding against my naked flesh. I gasped and lifted into his touch. "Will you let me?"
I gasped as he slid a lone finger into me. I tightened around it and his eyes flared as he stared down at me.
"You're so goddamn beautiful, Sweetheart." He kissed me again, taking my mouth fast and hard.
My breasts swelled as he began to pump his finger in and out. Slowly, Bellamy added a second finger and then a third. The third was a tight fit and I involuntarily clenched him even harder. He groaned and moved them in and out of me slower.
One wide palm slid over my stomach and I shivered as goosebumps rose to meet his hand. He moved up and skimmed over my bra. Dark brown eyes shot to mine as he closed his hand around one breast and squeezed through my bra cup. Shivers coursed over my shoulders as Bellamy looked at me. He watched me as his fingers brushed at the edges and he slipped beneath the material. Fingertips closed over one nipple and I jerked. His mouth met mine again, muting my gasp and I closed my eyes, feeling the shocking waves of pleasure. His fingers continued to pump inside me. I shuddered, my hips undulating on their own. I couldn't stop even if I wanted to.
I didn't want to. I wanted more. My hands held onto Bellamy's broad shoulders, nails digging into his skin. The harder I dug, the hotter his eyes flamed. Hovering over me, like he was, I barely felt the breeze coming through the open window. My eyes flicked to it, scared that someone might be able to hear us from the outside when he hit something deep inside of me, and I gasped – window forgotten – choking on a scream as sparks snapped through my body. Releasing a low groan, a wave of shock had the smallest black and white dots dancing behind my eyelids that were shut against the sensations.
Bellamy let go of my mouth with a gasp – mine, I realized. I couldn't seem to stop doing that. Gasping. Groaning. Moving against his hand. His thumb came up, brushing and pushing against the bundle of nerves there and I blinked as fireworks exploded. I didn't care if my nails were drawing blood, I needed to hold onto something or I knew I'd be rocketed up and out into space. He was my gravity, my anchor to earth in that moment.
When I finally came down, I realized that Bellamy had withdrawn his hand and was holding me on his side. He stroked my hair with his lips at my temple and I shivered, my whole body tensing again and again as I slowly descended from my peak of euphoria. He pulled back and looked down at me.
"Are you okay?" he asked. I opened my mouth, but words wouldn't form. All I could do was nod. "Good." His eyes crinkled with his smile and suddenly, it hit me what had just happened. What I had just done. Now I couldn't speak for a different reason. When Bellamy scooted down further in the bed and pulled me close to cuddle against my skin, I let him. Fear and pain encased my heart. What would happen now? I pressed my face against Bellamy's chest, hoping he didn't feel my tears, but sure he could – he didn't have a shirt. He didn't say anything though, and for that, I was grateful.
I would need to tell the guys sooner or later. They deserved to know. A kiss was one thing, but this had been so much more. The problem was I knew they'd kick me out. Maybe not out of Iris, but out of the team and that was the worst of it. The thought of not being able to see them, of not cuddling with Marv at night, not playing pranks with Bellamy and Texas, of not training with Knix...it was like all of my limbs were being severed. Why did it feel this way? I had known them for such a short time, but already it felt like we had lived lifetimes together and I was about to destroy all of that.
Chapter 14
I couldn't remember when Bellamy had left the night before, but I knew that I hadn't really slept. I was exhausted and must have looked it, because when I showed up for brunch Delilah pulled me to the side.
"Are you okay?" she asked, her eyes crinkling in concern.
I quickly wiped beneath my eyes with my finger. Sure enough, they felt puffy. "I'm fine," I lied. "Just couldn't sleep last night."
She raised an eyebrow, not convinced. "Do you need to take a rain check today?" she asked. "I can ask Ms. Enders. It'll suck, we won't get another chance to leave before the party, but I'm sure she'll–"
"Leave?" I asked, confused.
"Yea," she said. "You didn't know? We're going into town today."
Had I known that? Probably. "I'm sorry, I forgot. No, you don't need to talk to her. I'm fine." I brushed past her and made my way into the lounge where the tables were preset, and everyone was already in their own designated seats. I went to my table, feeling Delilah's eyes on my back. It was only the twins and I today. It looked like the only other girl who shared our table was either sick or had decided to skip brunch.
Ms. Enders entered the room, looking the picture of regal grace in a sheath dress and short kitten pumps. She addressed the ladies from the front of the room, her naturally severe, yet beautiful face flushed as she relayed her excitement. We were going into the upscale, small town of Pineville in order to get fitted for our dresses for the cotillion – or pseudo-cotillion. At this point, I couldn't find it in myself to care what it was called.
When Mr. Wallace entered the room, I almost slapped myself. I was here for a reason, and that reason was not to mope over my own stupid choices. I was here to find a criminal – a blackmailer...a potential rapist. There had already been one suicide. I looked around the room at the girls. I didn't know all of them. Hell, I didn't know ninety percent of them, but I still felt responsible for them. I straightened my back and resolved to finish this up – and quickly if I could. We were already halfway through this camp. I looked around, seeing if Margarie was nearby. Now, knowing that she was his daughter, I wondered why she chose to work for Ms. Enders rather than attend with the girls. Another thing Delilah had pointed out to me earlier in the week was that even though the etiquette courses sucked big time, they were a good way for the girls to network. These girls weren't just ordinary teenagers. They
were the daughters of rich and powerful people. They would likely end up going to the best colleges, marrying into the upper echelon of any community they chose. Their connections and friends were a network of the wealthy, famous, and powerful.
"Ladies," Ms. Enders called across the room. "As you all know, you will be going on a little trip today. Well, I have a wonderful surprise for you. Unfortunately," I watched as her face tensed slightly while Mr. Wallace remained completely unreadable, "I won't be able to join you as I usually would. Mr. Wallace has agreed to see you into Pineville. I hope that you'll all give him your attention and mind his regulations. We do ask that you stay together in groups. You are, after all, young ladies and under our care. Please take care not to stray from the group and to keep Mr. Wallace aware of your whereabouts if you choose to take some free time and shop at the local boutiques."
Ms. Enders finished with a few reminders on table manners as we would be staying in town for dinner at what Isador and Natalia called La Maison, a French restaurant. I glanced at Mr. Wallace out of the corner of my eye. Delilah had said he was militant with his boys. I would be surprised if he didn't quiz us on our table manners and the proper use of utensils. I looked down at the silverware with irritation. Thankfully, though, brunch ended without a Mr. Wallace intervention and we were all escorted into several stretch limos to head to town.
The seats were warm leather and some of the girls popped a bottle of champagne and poured the glasses. "Um, aren't we all underage?" I asked. Even Natalia, Isador, and Delilah laughed.
"Don't worry," Delilah said, handing me a glass. "No one is going to tell."
"I'm so glad Mr. Wallace went with the other limo," Isador said, leaning back against the door as she put her heel clad feet on her sister's lap.
Natalia grimaced and shoved her off. "Silk, Isa," she snapped. "I'm wearing silk." Isador laughed but didn't put her feet back up as she sipped her champagne.