Sometimes she wondered how differently she might have turned out if she’d stayed flat-chested and boyish, with freckles and hair she didn’t know how to tame.
She could still remember the first boy who had noticed her. Lance Goodwin. He looked just like Jake Gyllenhaal. In fact, every time she saw Jake in a movie, she thought of Lance.
She had been just a few months shy of her fifteenth birthday and he had been a year older, a summer visitor to Haven Point and grandson of McKenzie’s neighbor Darwin Twitchell.
At the time, Charlene still wasn’t crazy about the idea of Katrina swimming, but she used to tell her mother she and Sam were only going to get some sun and play volleyball at Lakeside Park in town, the narrow beach in downtown Haven Point where most of the teenagers in town liked to hang out.
Lance didn’t know anything about StupidKat—and the absence of that baggage between them had been heady and exciting. Freeing, somehow. With him, Katrina could be someone different, someone flirty and teasing and fun.
They had gone to the movies with a carefully selected group of her friends. When he held her hand, she felt like the luckiest girl in the theater, and later when he walked her home, he had kissed her awkwardly outside her door.
It had all been magic, and for the first time in her life, she hadn’t felt stupid or weird or different.
He was in town for two more weeks. Lance had been enraptured by her the whole time and asked her to keep in touch when he returned to Seattle after his visit.
They emailed back and forth for a few months...until another cute guy moved to Haven Point with his family and started coming around.
She dated Jason for a month or so, until he started wanting to get too serious and take their relationship to a much more physical level than she was comfortable with, then she broke things off. Another guy followed and the pattern was set, one that seemed to follow her through high school and college—and after.
Though she had worked hard in school, she never quite recovered from those difficult early years, when she had missed so much school and struggled to focus. She always felt a little lost in her classes, especially when the assignment involved anything to do with math or science. As a result, her grades had been mediocre at best.
In order to earn her associate degree, she attended a community college right out of high school and managed to get into Boise State to finish her elementary ed degree.
She wanted to think she had been a good, dedicated teacher. She had worked hard to teach her students—harder than her fellow teachers because she thought she had to. Still, some part of her had always been distracted, looking for the next guy, that undeniable thrill of falling in love. The best two semesters she had were in the year she had a steady boyfriend.
She was tired of it—and she finally had something more important. She scrolled to another picture of Gabi, this one when they were throwing a ball back and forth on the grounds of the orphanage.
She would be staying in Bowie’s house for only a few weeks. Surely she could control herself for that long.
* * *
“OH, YOU LOOK STUNNING, Wynnie,” Katrina exclaimed as she took in her sister’s reflection in the full-length mirror of Wyn’s old room at their mother’s house.
“The dress is absolute perfection,” Andie Montgomery, her future sister-in-law, agreed with a dreamy smile. “I love the off-the-shoulder look and the full-length lace sleeves. It’s completely you.”
“You look like a fairy princess, Auntie Wyn.” Andie’s seven-year-old daughter, Chloe, gazed at the bride, her eyes huge and glittery with excitement.
“Oh. I think I’m going to cry.” Charlene gazed raptly into the mirror. “Turn around and let’s see the whole thing.”
Wyn turned this way and that, displaying the exquisite dress in all its glory. The gown was slim and formfitting, clinging to Wyn’s slim, athletic frame perfectly. This was Kat’s first glimpse of the entire finished product, though she had seen plenty of pictures of the work in progress emailed to her by Wynona while she was in Colombia.
“It’s a great dress,” Wyn said, looking over her shoulder at her reflection. “Sam did an amazing job. I should have known.”
“I knew she would,” Katrina said. “And you were so nervous about having Sam’s shop handle the wedding dress!”
Her sister’s shrug accentuated the lovely floral lace around the low neckline. “You can’t blame me for worrying. I was afraid Linda would throw in a hoop skirt, lamb-chop sleeves and fifty pounds of beading.”
“Sam has good taste, even if Linda is a little stuck in the eighties,” Katrina said. “It’s stunning on you.”
She hugged her sister, careful not to mess up Wyn’s elaborate updo. When she glanced over at Charlene, she saw their mother wiping tears away on a lacy handkerchief she pulled from her cleavage.
“I can’t believe the first of my children is finally getting married,” Charlene breathed.
“And one more in just a few months,” Katrina said, nodding her head toward Andie.
Kat never would have picked Andie Montgomery for her brother Marshall, but now that she’d seen them together, she had to admit that they were perfect for each other. Marsh’s life had always revolved around his job, until Andie and her kids came along. Now he was far more relaxed and fun to be around—and obviously crazy about Andie and her two kids.
“And isn’t it nice of Andie to provide your most cherished dream? Ready-made grandbabies,” Wyn said with an impish grin.
“It’s about time somebody did,” Charlene said in an exasperated tone, which made all of them smile.
Marsh, who had always seemed the most remote and self-contained among them, was now going to be a family man with Andie, Will and Chloe—as well as his own teenage son, Christopher.
“You really do look beautiful, my dear,” Charlene said. “Cade is a lucky, lucky man.”
“I’m the lucky one,” Wyn murmured with a dreamy look.
Charlene nodded. “He’s a good man. You know how much your father loved him.”
“He did,” Wyn agreed, with a smile that trembled a little around the edges.
“Oh, I wish John and Wyatt could be here to celebrate this day,” Charlene said, her voice rough.
Katrina tried to swallow down the emotion frothing up in her throat. It wasn’t easy, especially when Charlene dabbed at her eyes again and gripped Wyn’s hand.
A wave of loss washed over her like it sometimes did, stealing her breath with the pain of it. She missed her father desperately. John Bailey had been the best man she knew, a devoted husband, dedicated lawman and patient, loving father.
He had been a frequent intercessor between Kat and her mother, often sneaking Katrina off to do things both of them knew Charlene never would have allowed if she’d known. Horseback rides and sledding runs and teaching her how to pedal a two-wheeled bike.
She knew John had loved all his children, but she had always felt a special bond with him.
She had deeply held memories of a few of her frequent hospitalizations when he would trade off with her mother staying overnight so Charlene could get some rest. She remembered more than once waking up afraid and disoriented, only to find instant calm when she would see her father sitting at her bedside.
And Wyatt. Wyatt had been Wyn’s twin and partner in crime. He had been a rookie highway patrol officer, killed in the line of duty after being hit by a car while trying to help a stranded motorist during a snowstorm. She mourned him deeply, but she knew her loss couldn’t begin to compare to Wynona’s. Her sister had never been the same after he died.
“It doesn’t quite feel right without them both,” Wyn said, her ragged smile slipping away and her eyes brimming with tears.
This wouldn’t do. Today was Wyn’s wedding day. As maid of honor, it was Katrina’s job to k
eep her sister focused on joy, not the sadness of celebrating this day without Wyn’s beloved twin and their father.
She ran a hand down her sister’s lace-covered arm and gripped her fingers. “We might not see them, but Dad and Wyatt will both be here. I know they will. You think either of them would miss your wedding? Forget it. Dad would move heaven and earth to watch his Wynnie marry Cade Emmett, a man he already loved like a son. And Wyatt would never let you go through this on your own. I imagine right at this very moment, they’re both busting through Saint Peter and his gate with a battering ram if they have to. No way would Dad and Wyatt let a little thing like mortality get in the way of something so important.”
Some of the sadness lifted from Wyn’s eyes, and after a few more loud sniffles, Charlene tucked her handkerchief back in her bra. “Katrina’s right. I’m sure they’ll both be standing right beside you, beaming from ear to ear. It was lovely of you to ask Mike to walk you down the aisle. I can’t tell you how much it means to him.”
Wynona raised an eyebrow. “Who else would I ask but my stepfather-slash-uncle?” she asked ruefully, which made Kat laugh.
They fussed around Wyn a little more, adjusting a strand of hair here, a fold of the dress there.
Katrina tried to push down a little niggle of envy that made her feel small and selfish. Her sister was about to marry a great guy who loved her with all his heart. She was happy for Wyn. After everything her sister had been through—not only losing her twin and their father but other traumas she had endured alone and only recently told her family about—she deserved everything good coming her way and more.
Katrina didn’t want to take this moment away from her sister, yet helping Wyn prepare for the giddy excitement of her wedding only seemed a reminder of everything Katrina had decided to give up.
“Perfect,” Charlene breathed after a moment.
“You know we’re going to have to do all this over again when we get to the church,” Wyn said.
“It won’t be as hard when we’re there because we’ll know how perfection is supposed to look,” Charlene declared.
“Are you ladies about ready?” Her oldest brother, Elliot, asked from the doorway. He looked handsome, if a little stiff, in his groomsman tux. “I’m one of your designated drivers. When you’re ready, come on down. Uncle Mike has a surprise for you.”
“Oh no,” Charlene said with a look of trepidation.
“Don’t worry,” Elliot said. “I think you’ll like it. No rush, though. We still have time. We don’t have to be at the church for half an hour.”
Wynona and Cade had chosen to be married at the little church in town that Katrina’s family had attended her whole life, with a reception and party to follow in the beautifully landscaped backyard of Cade’s log home on Riverbend Road.
“It never hurts to be early,” Charlene said. “That will give us plenty of time to primp again at the chapel. If everybody’s ready, we can go now.”
After grabbing last-minute necessities, they all headed down the stairs in a flurry of hair spray and perfume. Katrina was one of the last outside, and she stopped short when she spotted two gleaming black Rolls-Royces in the driveway.
“Where on earth did these come from?” Charlene exclaimed.
Uncle Mike stood beside the closest one, beaming from ear to ear. “I did some bodywork for a collector in Stanley. We hashed out a deal, and he loaned them to me for the weekend.”
“How did you keep this a secret from me?” Charlene asked, looking both stunned and pleased.
“Mad skills, babe,” Mike said, winking at Katrina and Wynona. “I have to return them in pristine condition, so just be careful getting in.”
“He is barely letting me drive one, even though I’ve passed all the Bureau’s driving courses with top grades,” Elliot grumbled.
“I’m riding with you,” Katrina said loyally. Elliot had always been a hero of hers, even though seven years separated them.
“Aunt Jennie already claimed the front seat. You’ll have to sit in the back.”
“I don’t care. I’ll just pretend you’re my chauffeur,” she responded. “Let me put this box in the car, and then I have to grab my shoes. I don’t think Wyn will want me to walk down the aisle with her in my flip-flops.”
After greeting her great-aunt, who must have arrived while they were all upstairs, she set the box holding the veil in the back seat of the Rolls-Royce and hurried back into the house. She had brought all of her things here that morning so she could get ready after she and the other Helping Hands took Wynona out for an early breakfast.
She thought she had packed her shoes on top of the bag with all her makeup and hair accessories, but suddenly she couldn’t remember seeing them when she’d been digging through the bag earlier as she had dressed.
Was it possible that in her flurry to be ready she might have pulled them out and left them somewhere? She searched around her bedroom but could find no sign of them. After a frantic five minutes, she came to one grim conclusion.
“You ready, Kat?” Elliot called from the front door. “How long does it take to put on a pair of shoes?”
“I don’t have them,” she exclaimed, feeling increasingly distraught. “I must have left them at the house where I’m staying.”
“This Callahan guy’s place?”
“Yes. I don’t know where else they might be.” She could picture the shoes in her closet and visualize herself picking them up and putting them in the bag, but try as she might, she couldn’t remember if they had been inside when she closed it.
Maybe she had taken them out for some reason, then forgot to put them back in. It had been a little crazy when she left, with Milo upset that she was going without him. In between trying to calm him while making sure she had all she needed to be ready for the wedding, anything was possible.
“Don’t you have another pair here you could wear?” Elliot asked.
She barely refrained from rolling her eyes. Typical male, thinking she could grab any old shoes for a wedding to replace the custom-dyed, carefully chosen heels that matched her bridesmaid dress to perfection.
“It has to be these. Go ahead. I’ll grab them and meet you at the church. I’ll still make it in plenty of time.”
Elliot looked conflicted. “Why don’t we just swing by on the way to the church?”
“You’ve got the veil plus Aunt Jennie. No sense all of us arriving flustered and late. Go ahead. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
Elliot looked as if he wanted to argue, but their aunt called to him from the Rolls-Royce and he sighed. “All right. I’ll see you at the church.”
She nodded and hurried to her car, hoping this was the only thing that would go wrong that day.
* * *
“NOW, THAT IS an impressive decahedron,” Bowie said, admiring the creation Milo was forming.
They sat at the kitchen table with a bowl full of mini marshmallows in front of them and another full of thin pretzel sticks. Milo was shoving the pretzel sticks into the mini marshmallows at various angles to create geometric shapes.
What had started out as an impulse to distract his brother—an activity Bowie vaguely remembered enjoying during one of his rare, brief stints at an actual school—had turned into a big hit.
To his great surprise, Milo picked up on it quickly. At first his brother had been making weird abstract creations with no form or function, but after a few moments of playing around, he started building geometric shapes. First he had made a basic square, then a cube, a triangle, then a pyramid and finally increasing in sophistication to the ten-sided shape he was making now, which was technically a square cupola.
Milo had skills. No getting around it. Yes, he was definitely on the autism spectrum with serious language delays and behavior problems, but Bowie suspected his brother had the poten
tial to do great things if his abilities could be channeled in the right direction.
They had been at this for at least an hour, and his little brother showed no signs of flagging interest in the activity—a big benefit to Bowie as he sat beside him, using his laptop to try catching up on emails.
Every few moments, his brother would hold up another creation, eyes expectant as he waited for Bowie’s approval.
Bowie had to say, this was probably one of the more enjoyable hours he had spent with his brother. He still felt completely overwhelmed with the responsibility of caring for a special needs brother, but he was beginning to hope that maybe, just maybe, there was some chance they could build a future together.
“Kat?” Milo said suddenly, out of the blue. Okay, not really out of the blue, since he had brought up Katrina’s name at least every fifteen or twenty minutes.
From those first fledgling sounds the week before, Milo now had a vocabulary of about fifteen words. Katrina had also taught him a few basic sign language signs, such as “more” and “all done.”
“She’s not here, remember?” Bowie said, giving him a patient smile. “She had to go to her sister’s wedding, but we’ll see her later tonight when we go to the reception. The party afterward,” he explained.
He suspected Milo wouldn’t have any frame of reference to understand what a wedding or a reception might be.
“Kat,” Milo repeated.
Bowie sighed, wondering how many times today he was going to have to explain the situation to his brother. “She’s not here,” he repeated. “She should be back tomorrow morning, after the wedding.”
In answer, his brother pointed to the door just seconds before it opened and Katrina rushed inside, all pink and glowing and luscious in a plum-colored dress that swirled with every step.
She stopped short when she spotted them both at the table. “Oh. Hi.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be somewhere right about now?” he asked.
“Yes, but I’m an idiot. I must have left my shoes here this morning when I was in such a rush to get out the door. If I had my choice, I would wear my flip-flops, but I doubt Charlene would approve.”
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