Her words made him uncomfortable and he shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t see the need to.”
She stepped back and he let her. “And I don’t see the need to continue this conversation. I’d like to get back to my date. Goodbye, Dusty,” she said with a sad smile. “Good luck on the rodeo circuit. And I really do mean that.”
He couldn’t let her walk away. “I’ll come back, you know. Someday.” But he didn’t know when.
“If you do, please don’t bother to stop by.”
Reaching out before she could get away, he took her hand. “This isn’t over. We aren’t over.”
“Yes, we are. We never really got started.”
“What do you call yesterday? What do you call this?” He pulled her to him and captured her lips with his. She didn’t struggle or fight him, but he could tell her heart wasn’t in it.
When he released her, she took a step back. “I call it lust.”
He felt as if he’d been slapped. “It’s more than lust, Kate. I have feelings for you, real feelings, but I don’t know yet what they are or what to do about them.”
“You’ll forget about me in no time,” she said, unable to meet his gaze, “and I’ll eventually forget about you. But I can’t promise I won’t worry about you, at least for a little while.”
There was nothing else he could say. Releasing her, he forced air into his lungs. Not that it mattered. At that moment, he didn’t care if he remembered to take another breath.
Stepping away, Kate smoothed the skirt of her clingy dress. Without looking back, she opened the heavy door of the Blue Barn.
“Kate,” he called after her. “Kate!”
But she didn’t turn around before she walked inside.
Dusty would have given up if he hadn’t heard the hitch in her breath when she had walked away. No matter what she said, Kate cared, and he’d carry that with him forever.
DUSTY PUT the nineteen-hundred-mile drive across six states to good use by getting his head on straight. By the time he arrived in Woodburn, Oregon, he was ready to ride, not only physically, but mentally. He’d left Desperation and Oklahoma and even Kate behind. He was back doing what he did best, and he was happy to be there.
He chose to stay in the host hotel, something he didn’t usually do, but he had a reason to celebrate. He’d been away from the circuit for too long and needed to be in the thick of things. He was ready. Adrenaline had already started pumping through him.
After his arrival the evening before, he’d spent several hours with cowboys he hadn’t seen since his accident, catching up on the news he’d missed. After sleeping in an extra hour that morning, he’d spent some time in the fitness area, making sure he had the strength he’d need to climb on a bull, and then he had a swim in the pool.
Before leaving for the arena, he thought to stop at the reception desk to check for any messages.
“There’s one message, sir,” the young woman behind the desk told him with a smile.
Taking the note she passed him, he opened it and read the short good-luck message from Tanner and Jules. He wouldn’t allow himself to acknowledge there was nothing from Kate or anyone else. He didn’t expect there to be. Things were back to normal.
The drive to the arena was short, and after parking his truck and retrieving his equipment bag, he checked in and picked up his number. He was fifth in the lineup, which was a bit of a disappointment, but he reminded himself that being out of competition for two months had dropped him in the standings. He’d make it up fast.
He was standing at the fence not far from the chute, watching the first of the rides for the night, when he caught a flash of auburn out of the corner of his eye. Of course it isn’t Kate, he told himself, but it didn’t keep his heart from hoping and hammering. Unable to stop, he walked in the direction where he’d seen the redhead, finally catching up with her. But when he touched her arm and she turned to face him, the disappointment was almost painful.
“Fool,” he muttered to himself as he walked slowly back to the spot he’d come from. He listened to the announcement on the loudspeaker for the name of the next rider. Two more after that, and it would be his turn to prove himself. He needed to get ready for his ride.
But he couldn’t.
Every conversation he’d had with Kate played through his mind. He wished they wouldn’t. He had never had any intention of getting involved with someone. He’d seen what had happened with his parents, and he wouldn’t repeat it. His mother had only wanted a family, but his father had wanted rodeo.
His doctor’s prognosis echoed in his mind. Worst-case scenario, death. But there are others, not quite so…final.
Why had he thought he would be immune to any of the things his doctor had listed? He was human. And if something did happen to him, why did he think it wouldn’t make a difference?
The next rider finished with a good score, and Dusty watched the cowboy limp out of the arena—just another man either dealing with an old injury or a new one. Injuries happened all the time.
Letting go of his stubborn determination to keep on as he always had, he thought about what life might be like outside of rodeo or at least outside of riding bulls for a living. Even Tanner had decided there were other things in life. And Dusty had always admired his friend.
And then the image of Kate’s face floated in front of him, and he knew he had to make a change. Right or wrong, he needed to go in a new and different direction.
After checking out at the rodeo office and returning his number, he headed for his truck. He stopped for an instant to pull out his new cell phone and punched in a number he’d never used but had also never forgotten.
“Hi, Mom. It’s Dusty,” he said, when Tess Braden answered.
“Dusty? Oh, my goodness! Are you all right? Is something wrong?”
He chuckled, imagining the surprise on her face. “Yeah, it’s me. I’m fine and nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to call you.”
There was a slight pause before she spoke again. “I’m glad you did, but I have to admit it’s a surprise.”
“I figured it would be. How’s Frank?”
“He’s good,” she said. “He’s out on the golf course right now.”
Dusty tried to imagine an older version of his stepfather, a man he had never allowed himself to like. “So he’s a golfer, huh? That fits and it’s good that he stays active.”
“Dusty, I know things were bad when you were young—”
He wouldn’t let her finish. “Mom, you deserve a good man. My dad wasn’t a good father, and he wasn’t a good husband. I finally understand that.”
“I’m sorry then, because you idolized him.”
To deny it would have been a lie, so he didn’t. “I need to tell you something else,” he said, choosing his words carefully.
“What’s that?”
Dusty felt a smile tug at his lips. “Thank you.”
“Why, whatever for?”
“Everything,” he told her, thinking back to when he was a boy. “All the sacrifices you made. The two jobs you worked and how you wanted me to make something of myself. For letting me go live with Granddad and Gramma. For teaching me right from wrong.”
“Dusty, I—I don’t know what to say.”
He grinned, even knowing she couldn’t see him. “Good. Because there isn’t anything you should say. And I’m sorry I haven’t been a better son.”
“It’s all right,” she said, and he could hear the tears in her voice. “I understand. I know it wasn’t easy for you either.”
He hadn’t called her to make her cry, only to let her know he was thinking of her and to tell her his news. “I’ve found somebody. Somebody special.”
“That’s wonderful, Dusty.”
He could hear the smile in her voice and almost see her. “I think you’ll like her. She’s a lot like you.”
“Like me?”
“Yeah, she’s stubborn and hardworking and passionate about things. She knows what she wants to do
with her life, and she’ll get it. I know she will.”
“She does sound special, but I don’t think that sounds like me. Except maybe the stubborn part.”
Her laughter made him smile, and for the first time since he was a young boy, he wished he could be with her. “I just quit rodeo, Mom. No more bull riding.”
There was silence, and he wondered if it was too much, but she finally spoke again. “If I say I’m sorry,” she said, “I’d be lying. It’s a rough life, Dusty, as I’m sure you know. But it’s what you wanted, and I never wanted anything more for you than to let you grow up and chase your dreams.”
“I know that now. It took me a long time to figure it out. I guess I’m just hardheaded.”
“Like me.”
“Yeah, like you.” The thought brought him happiness. “Could we come out sometime and visit you and Frank?”
“We’d love it if you did. Both of you. What’s her name?”
“Kate. Kate Clayborne.”
“Clayborne? That’s familiar. Any relation to—”
“Agatha Clayborne’s niece. Miss Aggie finished raising her and her sister when their parents died in a tornado.”
“How awful for them. But if she was raised by Aggie Clayborne, I’m sure she has a good heart. Are you in Desperation?”
“Not right now, but I’m headed there. And maybe you and Frank can come visit us, too.”
“For any special occasion?”
He knew she was angling for more, but he couldn’t tell her anything he didn’t know. “Maybe. But I’ll have to do some talking to get her to agree to that occasion.”
“That shouldn’t be hard. You’ve always been a charmer, even when you were a little boy.”
He thought of how Kate had said she never wanted to see him again. “I have a feeling it’s going to take more than charm to get her to see things my way.”
“If she’s that special, then you do whatever you have to.”
“I will,” he promised. “You can count on it. But I’d better say goodbye. I need to get on the road. I’ll call you again. Soon.”
“I don’t know of anything I’d like better than that, Dusty. And let me know how things go with Kate. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you.”
“Thanks, Mom. I need all the luck I can get.”
“I love you, Dusty.”
He felt his own eyes fill with emotion. “And I love you, too, Mom, even though it seemed for a long time that I didn’t.”
“Now is what counts.”
He finished the call feeling better than he ever had. For him and his mother, the past hurts were put to rest. The future was ahead of him. He hoped Kate would be a part of that future, but there was only one way to find out if she would—if she’d even listen to him. Somehow, no matter what it took, he’d find a way.
Chapter Thirteen
Red, white and blue banners, strung across Main Street from light pole to light pole, waved in the breeze. Booths and tables stretched from one end of the main street of town to the other. Firecrackers popped in the distance. Desperation’s annual Fourth of July celebration was in full swing, as hundreds of people wandered the streets, greeting friends, buying souvenirs and tasting food.
Kate, along with Aggie and Trish, was busy at their food booth, where they were serving tiny wedges of pie and selling and taking orders for full-sized ones. Several people had even urged her to start a catering business, and Kate was seriously giving it some thought—with help from her aunt and sister. To her, it was secretly a compromise to Dusty’s restaurant suggestion. With a catering business, she could work as much or as little as she chose.
Taking the money from Mabel Schwimmer, Kate handed her the change and two pies. “I hope you like the peach. They’re all made from fresh fruit.”
“Oh, I know I will,” Mrs. Schwimmer said. “I’ve been eating them for years at the café. There’s nothing better than your pies.”
Kate thanked her, stowed the money away and then turned to help the next customer…and froze. “Wh-what are you doing here? I thought you were in Oregon.”
“We need to talk.”
Kate’s heart thundered in her chest, but she tried to keep her voice steady and firm. “I’m busy right now, Dusty. Maybe later.”
“No, not later. Now,” he said, without skipping a beat.
Kate shook her head, realizing he knew her too well and wouldn’t give her a chance to argue. Instead of answering him, which she knew would do nothing to end whatever conversation he wanted to have, she turned to a waiting customer. “What can I get you, Cathy?”
“Kate,” he said, trying to claim her attention.
“There’s the usual that you find every day at the Chick-a-Lick. Cherry, apple, peach and pecan. Or if you want to try a new one, we have some meringues.”
But Dusty kept on. “I can wait all day, if that’s the way you want to be.”
When the customer had made a selection, paid, and was gone, Kate turned to address the irritation. “Go away, Dusty. Go ride a bull or rope a steer or something. Just go away.”
She first thought he was doing as she wished, until she realized he was walking around to the opening between the tables at the back of their booth. Searching for another means of escape and finding none, she turned back again to find he had been swallowed up by the crowd. She couldn’t see him anywhere.
Feeling somewhat safe, she returned to her spot and straightened the many plates of pies, moving them around for a more pleasant presentation. When she felt a tug on her arm, she jumped, certain it was Dusty sneaking up on her. But instead, it was Aggie.
“Trish, help Mr. Murdock there for a minute, will you?” Aggie called over her shoulder. She led Kate to the far corner of the group of tables. “You’ve always been a stubborn miss,” she said, keeping her voice low.
Kate saw trouble and hoped to avoid it. She didn’t want to argue with her aunt anymore, but it seemed like that was all they’d been doing. “And lately you’ve been trying to get rid of me. Why?”
“I want to know that you’re taken care of.”
Not again, Kate thought. They’d been over this constantly since Dusty had left town. “I appreciate your concern, as always, Aunt Aggie, but I can take care of myself.”
Aggie shook her head and released her. “I thought the same, too, but it can be lonely. I don’t want that for you.”
“I’ll be fine.” The look in Aggie’s eyes made Kate want to cry. But if she did, Aggie would know how much she was hurting, and she couldn’t stand anyone knowing that. And she would be fine, in time. The lease for the farmland was to be signed by a neighbor on Monday, but Kate was determined that someday she would get it back.
Aggie peered at her over a new pair of glasses. “It could be better. You know it could.”
Kate held her ground. “No, I don’t.”
“Don’t let this chance go by you, Kate,” Aggie said, putting her hand on Kate’s shoulder. “Grab what you can when you can, or someday you’ll wish you’d done it different.”
Kate hoped that someday her aunt would share the story of her lost love with her, but she doubted she ever would. And she really, really didn’t want to talk about Dusty or her future. She hadn’t meant to fall in love with him, but it had happened anyway. When she couldn’t stop him from risking his life, she had told him goodbye, no matter how much it had hurt. Seeing him again was almost more than she could bear.
Looking around to make sure he wasn’t anywhere in sight, she edged toward the gap in the tables.
“It won’t help to run away,” Aggie told her.
“I’m not running,” Kate answered, but she stepped backward to where she knew she could get away if she needed to. “I just don’t want—”
“Me?”
Kate spun around to find Dusty blocking her escape, a rope slung over his shoulder. Planting her hands on her hips, she glared at him. “You don’t give up, do you?”
“Nope.”
Knowing nothing he co
uld say would change her mind, she shook her head. “I don’t have time for games, Dusty.”
Hooking his thumbs in his belt, he rocked back on his heels. “No games, but I think you should know that I don’t plan to leave until you hear what I have to say.”
“Then you’d better talk fast.”
His smile was forced. “Hot date?”
“Customers to serve.” She took a deep breath and stuffed her hands in her back pockets. “So if you have something to say, get it said.”
His eyes narrowed, but his gaze never left her face. “You still seeing Ted Haverly?”
“That’s none of your business.”
His frown deepened. “Considering, I don’t think the question is out of line.”
She looked down to avoid the intensity of his gaze, and stared at the ground. She didn’t want him to think he had any sort of chance, but she couldn’t lie, either. “No, I’m not seeing Ted.”
“You seeing anybody else?”
“You’ve been gone a week. What do you think?”
“You don’t want to know what I think, so just answer the question.”
She knew there were a number of ways he could find out if he wanted to, but he trusted her to tell him the truth. For some reason, she couldn’t disappoint him. “No.”
He bowed his head, but she didn’t miss his smile, even though he tried to hide it. She wasn’t sure whether to smack him or laugh with joy. The latter bothered her much more than the former.
He moved to step around the end of the table that separated them. “Well, I guess that takes care of that problem.”
She took a step backward. “You can stop where you are.”
Grinning, he kept moving. “There’s no shotgun in your hand this time, hon.”
Like a bolt of lightning, she shot around him, escaping the enclosure of the tables and him. Looking back over her shoulder, she saw that he was following her. And none too slowly. Picking up speed, she dashed into the crowd, hoping she could get lost in the throng of people moving along the main street.
She kept telling herself that he wasn’t what she wanted. He never would be. When she noticed the open door of the café, she ducked inside, praying he’d lost sight of her, as her heart pounded in her chest.
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