by Deanna Chase
His eyes sparkled as he gazed down at her. “Pie? There’s fresh whipped cream, too.”
Goodness, what she could do with a little whipped cream. She licked her lips, and he groaned.
“Carrie… this is going to be one hell of a long night,” he said with a sigh.
“I don’t mind.” She grinned up at him. But when he suppressed what looked to be a wince, that pit formed in her stomach again. “Listen, Austin, whatever it is, I can handle it. Let’s just go inside, and you can tell me whatever it is you need to tell me. I promise you that unless it turns out that before you moved here you were a complete creeper, whatever it is, it’s going to be fine.”
“You say that now,” he muttered. But he wrapped an arm around her waist and guided her up the porch and into his small, but meticulous home.
His place was gorgeous, with beautifully finished wood built-ins, wood planked flooring, and a ton of windows to take advantage of the natural light. There were even a couple of skylights, and the brilliant moon shone down, illuminating the home in silver light. The moon was so bright, he didn’t even turn on a light until they were standing in his newly remodeled kitchen. The cabinets were gray, the perfect accent to the black granite countertops. The only real color in the room was displayed on the few red appliances stored on the counters. Everything about it was masculine and elegant, just like Austin.
“Have a seat,” he said, waving to the barstools. “I’ll dish up some pie.”
“Extra whipped cream for me,” she said, wondering what he’d taste like if she licked the creamy goodness off his skin.
“Coffee?” he asked.
“Got any Irish cream?”
“Yep.”
“Good,” she said. “It’s better with pie.”
“No argument here,” he said.
She propped her elbows up on the bar and cradled her chin in her hands as she watched him work. There was just something so sexy about a man who was comfortable in the kitchen. She started to imagine what he’d look like in an apron as he made them breakfast after a long night of lovemaking. A white-hot bolt of lust hit her between the thighs, and she squirmed just a little.
“Here you go.” He placed a generous slice of blackberry pie in front of her. The mound of whipped cream on top made her laugh.
“Did you save any for yourself?” She dipped her fork into the topping and licked it off.
He just stared at her, his own fork frozen in the air.
She laughed again.
“Dammit, Carrie. Don’t do that to me.” He put his fork down and ran a frustrated hand around his neck. “You’re killing me here.”
She dropped her fork. “I think it’s time for that explanation.”
He stared at the floor for a moment then nodded and held out his hand. “Let’s take a walk.”
“Now?” It was past eleven and chilly outside. “I’m not exactly dressed for that.” She glanced down at her painted-on jeans and four-inch heels. “If you’re planning on taking me out into the woods, you’re gonna have to carry me.”
He chuckled. “That certainly sounds appealing, but I just mean a walk through the nursery. It’s climate-controlled, and I thought you’d enjoy seeing all the blooming flowers.”
Her lips spread into a pleased smile as her heart seemed to swell with pure joy. “The rose garden?” she asked hopefully. Roses were her favorites, especially his silver rose collection.
“Sure.” He glanced at his still-outstretched hand. “Come on. I have something special you’ll want to see.”
This time she didn’t hesitate. She slipped her hand into his, loving this new familiarity they had. When she’d woken up this morning, the idea that she’d be strolling hand-in-hand with him through his rose garden had been laughable, considering how he never let himself get too close to anyone. But now… everything seemed different after she’d taken the leap to show him she could be more than just a friend.
His fingers curled around hers, and when his thumb caressed the back of her hand, she thought she might pass out from pure pleasure. Carrie stifled a chuckle. Here he was, just holding her hand, and she was ready to rip his clothes off. Down girl. He has things to say first.
Austin led her out a side door, down a covered pathway, and into his greenhouse. She paused when she stepped inside, taking in the delicious scent of fresh roses.
“I could live in here and be perfectly happy,” she said. “Just put a bed over in the corner with a coffee maker, and I’d consider it heaven.”
He smiled down at her. “Or I could just bring you fresh roses every week.”
“You’d do that?” She glanced up at him, seeing something more than his handsome face. Something good and kind and heartwarming.
“For you? Of course.” He gently tugged her down the aisle, keeping her hand firmly in his.
Everything about the two of them together seemed so easy. What could he possibly have to say that would make her feel any differently? Wild theories ran through her head. Had he killed someone? Been a mercenary? Was he wanted by the FBI? In the witness protection program? Her heart started to thump against her breastbone, and she found it hard to take a deep breath. She stopped in her tracks and clutched him by both arms. “Just say it. Whatever it is, just say it, okay?”
He stiffened, staring down at her with his lips pressed into a grim line.
“Austin, I just can’t—”
“My kiss is cursed,” he said.
Chapter 5
Austin closed his eyes and turned his head, unable to look her in the eye as he confessed the secret he’d kept close to the vest for the last decade.
“What?” She tightened her grip on his arms and added, “What do you mean your kiss is cursed? Do you turn women into toads or something?”
He let out a choked laugh as he opened his eyes and gave her his full attention. “Sort of. They’re all perfectly normal when I take them out, but the minute my lips touch theirs, they turn into psycho stalkers.”
“Oh, come on,” she said, humor in her tone. “You can’t be serious.”
He stared down at her, annoyed at her dismissive behavior. “Do I look like I’m joking? Why do you think I didn’t kiss you today at the bookstore? Or on your birthday? Or in the cave at the beach? Do you honestly think I’m not interested in you?”
She opened her mouth, closed it, then shook her head. “No, I thought… um, I just thought you weren’t interested enough.”
This time when he laughed, the sound was full of humor. “Not interested enough. That’s a good one. You did see what touching you did to me today, right?”
Her gaze shifted to his crotch.
“That’s right, Carrie. Just thinking about you turns me on.” In fact, his dick was standing at full attention again.
She cleared her throat and released his arms. “I can see that.”
He supposed he should be embarrassed by his inability to control himself, but he hadn’t been laid in over seven years. Seven. Years. And the woman standing in front of him was everything he’d ever wanted.
“Austin, you do realize we could take care of that without any kissing, right?” She gave him a wicked little smile.
Everything inside of him tightened with need, and he let out a strangled groan. “Please, Carrie. Just don’t.”
“Why?” She stepped forward, placing both hands on his chest. “You said your kiss was cursed. You didn’t say anything about your… other parts.” She narrowed her eyes. “Or did you leave something out?”
He clasped his hands over hers and nodded. “Yes, I left some things out, but it’s not what you think.”
She stepped back and tried to pull her hands from his, but he held on, unable to let her go.
“There are things to say. Things you deserve to hear.” He brought her right hand about an inch from his mouth and closed his eyes, imagining what it would be like to brush his lips over her soft skin. Instead, he let his breath linger over her knuckles and listened as her breath caught
. He wanted to hear that sound about a million more times.
“I think you’d better start talking then,” she said, her voice so low he barely heard her.
“Walk with me?” he asked.
She nodded.
He released one of her hands, and the pair of them moved down through the rows of his perfectly cultivated roses. “Ten years ago, on a trip to New Orleans, my buddies dared me to pay a witch for a love spell. I was so drunk I barely remember it, but that damn love spell lives on, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
She paused. “A permanent love spell? I’ve never heard of such a thing.”
“You and me both,” he said with a sigh. “I thought it’d be temporary and wear off in a few days. But nope. Every time I kiss a woman, she loses her mind, so I stopped cold-turkey seven years ago.”
“Just kissing, though, right?” She couldn’t help the quirk of her lips as she added, “My offer still stands. There’s plenty we can do without involving our lips.”
His fingers twitched to touch her, to caress her cheek, her jaw, the swell of her breast. He’d been here before, and the consequences had been disastrous. “I tried that once. It didn’t quite work out.”
“What does that mean, ‘didn’t quite work out?’”
“I met someone. We could barely keep our hands off each other. And in the heat of the moment one night, she kissed me. Her transformation was instantaneous. She went from being sassy, confident, and independent to needy, crazy, and jealous. Everything that had attracted me to her disappeared in an instant.”
Her face was stony as she asked, “What happened?”
The memory of his former lover slumped over the steering wheel of her Mini Cooper flashed in his brain and haunted him. He shook his head, unwilling to voice the memory. It was too hard, the guilt too crushing.
“Austin,” she said softly. “What happened? I know it was something awful. I can tell by the look on your face.”
The ache in his chest made it hard to breathe, but he knew he was going to tell her. He had to. After all the years of keeping his truth bottled-up inside, he couldn’t do it anymore. He had to tell someone he trusted, and he knew instinctively she was the only one he could tell. “I tried to break it off. I thought if she didn’t see me every day that maybe she’d return to her normal, confident self. The one who didn’t need anyone.”
“I take it that didn’t work?” she asked, already filling in the blanks.
“No. I even left town for a while, trying to give her space.” He sucked in a deep breath, trying to steady himself. The memory was still devastating. “But she followed me. Chased me down, actually, while I was in Boston. And the second day after she found me, I was trying to lose her tail in traffic. I sped up, trying to exit a roundabout, when she T-boned another driver, killing herself instantly.”
“Oh no.” Carrie pressed her hand to her throat. “That’s terrible.”
Austin dropped her hand and shoved his into his pockets. “It’s my fault she died. If I hadn’t been too stupid to let some random witch curse me with a love spell, or if I’d have backed off and never gotten involved with her in the first place, then she’d still be here.”
Carrie tilted her head to one side and studied him for a moment. When she finally spoke, she said, “You loved her.”
He jerked back, surprised by her comment. “Why do you say that?”
“It’s obvious by how devastated you are.”
Austin shook his head. “No. I cared about her, sure. I wouldn’t have been able to have a relationship with her if I hadn’t, but love? I don’t think that’s what we had. Mutual respect. A friendship. Attraction. All of that was there. And I truly liked her. But I wasn’t in love with her. She wasn’t in love with me either. Or at least she’d never indicated such a thing until after the kiss when she’d been cursed.”
“But you…” Carrie shook her head. “You seem to still be grieving.”
“I might be a little,” he admitted. “But mostly I just feel guilt. She didn’t deserve to die, and if it hadn’t been for me and my inability to keep my hands off her, she’d still be here today.”
“You don’t know that,” Carrie said gently. “None of us know how different choices will change our destiny.”
“I know,” he said, his tone leaving no room for debate.
Carrie didn’t seem to care, or didn’t register the warning, because she pressed on. “You can’t know. Maybe it was her time. If you believe in the higher power, she could have been hit by a bus that day. Or choked on a grape. Who knows? She could’ve been needed in another dimension and would’ve been taken out no matter what you did or didn’t do.”
“What-ifs don’t change the fact that she was following me,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest.
“True. But you can either choose to feel responsible and punish yourself for the rest of your life, or you can try to accept that you can’t control everyone. The only one you have control over is yourself.”
“Right. If I hadn’t consumed half the booze on Bourbon Street that night ten years ago, then none of that would’ve gone down.”
“And if she hadn’t walked into whatever bar you two met in, she might be around today as well. Listen to yourself, Austin,” she said, letting her anger show for the first time since he’d started to tell her his story. “She’s the one who kissed you. I assume you told her the risks.”
“Of course I did,” he said. Once he figured out the curse wasn’t going anywhere, he considered it a personal responsibility to inform anyone he was with about the consequences of his dangerous lips.
“Then she shares the blame, too. Listen, I’m not the most experienced girl in the bedroom, but I’ve never forgotten that a condom is necessary. And I won’t forget that kissing is not an option when you finally get around to making a move on me.”
Austin’s heart skipped a beat at her casual mention of them getting together. But then he squashed the idea. He’d already decided: no girlfriends. The potential risk was far too high. If anything happened to Carrie, he’d never forgive himself. First, he’d grieve; then he’d be downright angry at himself for knowing better. “There won’t be a move, Carrie. I’m sorry to be so blunt, but it’s better that you know.”
“We’ll see about that.” She gently tugged one of his hands out of his pocket and then just held on.
“Carrie—” Austin started.
She held her hand up. “I heard what you said. I understand you feel responsible. But from where I’m standing, what I see is a young man who made a mistake and was victimized by some power-crazy witch. You’ve had to live with that choice ever since. Is it fair for you to live your life alone because you’ve been cursed, even when the other party knows the risks?”
“Yes,” Austin said, appreciating what she was trying to say. He’d been through the argument in his own mind more than a few times. It all came down to the fact that he wasn’t going to put anyone else in danger. Not again.
“No. It’s not. And it’s not fair for you to tell any woman what she can and can’t handle. It’s not fair to make my decision for me. Do you see that?”
He stared down at her, squeezing her hand, because he wanted so badly to give in, to let her win this argument.
“Let me ask you something.”
“Anything.”
“Can I kiss you?” She brushed her fingertips over his stubbled jaw. “Is that an issue as long as it isn’t on the lips?”
He held himself perfectly still, afraid that if he made any sort of movement that he’d wrap her in his arms and never let her go. “No. It’s only if I kiss you.”
“So, we’re just talking about your lips being off-limits then?” She brought her other hand up and played with the top button on his dress shirt.
“Yes,” he breathed, knowing his willpower was being stripped away with alarming speed. If she kept this up, all of his arguments would be toast. Yet, he couldn’t seem to make himself step away from her. His enti
re body was starving to be touched. But more importantly, to be touched by her.
“Then I can do this, and it’s not a problem.” She pressed her lips to his neck and kissed her way down to the base of his throat.
He let out a strangled moan.
“And this,” she added as she opened his shirt she’d somehow managed to unbutton without his knowledge and moved her mouth down his chest.
“Carrie, I can’t reciprocate,” he said, drowning in the agony of knowing he was going to have to stop her soon.
“We’ll figure something out,” she murmured and continued her way downward until her tongue laved at his abs just above his belt.
His eyes closed as he reveled in the feel of her sweet mouth on him. God, he wanted those lips everywhere, wanted her to explore every inch of him and then take his cock into her mouth and suck him until he lost control.
Control. The word echoed in his mind, and suddenly he grabbed her by the shoulders and physically moved her backward. “This isn’t going to work.”
She pursed her lips and appeared to contemplate his words.
His cock pulsed painfully, and he thought he’d die if she didn’t touch him again. But he clenched his fists and gritted his teeth through the agony. He’d made his decision. He would not put her at risk.
Then her gaze lowered south of his waistline, and she said, “Looks like it works to me.”
“That’s not—”
“I know that isn’t what you meant,” she said, her fingers grazing his skin just above the waist of his jeans. “Let me ask you this. Is there any chance you’d forget your curse and use those lips on me?”
He was so turned-on, he could barely think, but he easily knew the answer to that question. “No.”
“Then trust me, okay? I understand the risks, and I know what I’m doing.”
She clearly did, because his dick was so hard he was certain he’d come the moment she touched him. All of his excuses vanished as his willpower faded into the ether. He couldn’t continue to tell her no. She held too much power over him. He’d tried to keep her at arm’s length, but it was obvious he’d only been fooling himself. “If you’re sure…”