“What about your wolf? What about if you shift?”
Autumn didn’t think it possible, but his expression darkened even further.
“That’s the other thing,” he said, his jaw tight. “I can’t. When I try to connect to my wolf, it keeps its distance and whines. It knows I’m broken and it doesn’t want to become broken as well.”
Autumn placed her hand on his shoulder, wishing she could wrap her arms around him and lay her head on his chest, but the barrier Blake was putting up was too great for such intimacy. “Blake, I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t want your pity, Autumn. I only want to be left alone.”
Chogan jerked his head back, a signal to call her away.
“Okay,” she told Blake. “I’ll leave you alone for the moment, but don’t think you’re getting rid of me that easily.”
Blake didn’t respond.
Autumn swallowed hard against the painful lump in her throat. She’d thought she was getting Blake back, but the man lying in the back of Lakota’s truck only looked like Blake.
They moved away from hearing distance.
Chogan ran a hand through his hair and glanced around. “We can’t stay here. Even if no one in the facility managed to get the alarm out, someone is going to realize contact is down and send the military to find out what’s happened.”
Autumn nodded. “You’re right. We need to get everyone mobile.” Her choice of words made her cringe.
Chogan reached out and touched her elbow. “Don’t beat yourself up, Autumn. We’re all going to feel the same way around him. This is hard for all of us.”
His kindness made her want to cry all over again. She gave a sniff. “Thank you.” Her voice was choked. “It’s hardest for Blake, though.”
They stared at each other. The betrayal they’d committed against Blake hung between them like something cancerous. It seemed so much worse now Blake was suffering.
Chogan glanced away. “Let’s get the troops moving.”
They moved between everyone, clapping people on their shoulders, helping them load back up, making sure everyone had a ride. Chogan went with Madison and Billy again. The young woman, Daisy, seemed comfortable with Billy, so she tagged along, too. Lakota and Autumn rode with Blake lying across the back seat. He didn’t say a word the whole drive. Peter and Mia took her brother and the other woman they’d freed. Nadie took care of Tala, while Sahale drove. A couple of the other shifters had been persuaded to take Romero, though they hadn’t wanted to. The ex-soldier was angry and in pain, and the wolf fighting with him for his body seemed to be in the same mind-frame.
The vehicles were getting crowded as they drove away from the facility and headed back onto the highway. They needed to find somewhere safe to stop and recuperate.
After less than an hour, one of the cars up front pulled over, the hazard lights blinking.
Autumn frowned. “Stop the truck,” she told Lakota, as a figure emerged from the car and began waving her down.
Lakota did as she asked, pulling over just after the other car. The person who had been waving her down was Tocho.
“Hey,” she said, climbing out. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, fine. We’re still looking for somewhere to rest up, right?”
“That’s right.”
“My auntie has an old homestead only a few miles from here. I’ve not seen her for years, but I’m sure she’ll do everything she can to help us.”
Autumn frowned. “How can you be sure?”
Tocho shrugged. “She practically raised me, but ran off with some rich, white farmer when I was in my teens. She doesn’t have anything to do with the reservation anymore, and pretty much keeps to herself since her husband died, but she’s a good soul. There’s no way she’d turn us away. Plus, it’s miles from anywhere. No one would ever think to look for us there.”
Autumn glanced at Lakota, who had gotten out of the vehicle and stood behind her shoulder. “What do you think?”
“I think it’s the best option we have.”
She nodded. “Okay. Tocho, lead the way.”
They got back into their vehicles and within a couple of miles turned off the freeway. They took a smaller road, and then found themselves roaring down a long gravel drive. A woman in her seventies, as wide as she was tall, stood on the veranda with a shotgun cocked and pointed at them as they stopped their vehicles.
Tocho climbed out of the car. “Auntie Wenona! Put down the gun, you crazy old lady!”
Autumn’s mouth dropped open at his disrespect, but Auntie Wenona only laughed and put down the gun.
“Tocho!” she cried, holding her arms open to him. “My boy, Tocho. I thought you’d forgotten all about your old Auntie.”
He stepped into her embrace, though her arms only managed to wrap around his waist, her head barely reaching his chest. It wasn’t that Tocho was particularly tall, just that she was so short. She gave him a hard squeeze and then peered around him.
“You have an entourage now, Tocho? Did you become famous since I last saw you?”
He laughed. “No, Auntie. These are my friends. Most are from the reservation. You may even know some of them.”
Lakota climbed from his truck.
She thrust her hands onto her wide hips. “Well, well, Lakota Wolfcollar. Tell me my old eyes aren’t seeing things.”
Lakota laughed, approaching the porch. He stopped beside her and kissed her on the cheek. “If they are, Wenona Ohare, we are both having the same vision.”
“It’s good to see you, Lakota. You look exactly the same.”
“You too, Wenona.”
She smacked him on the shoulder. “Pish. I’ve doubled in size. Too much butter and cream, that’s my downfall. Anyway, you’re not here to talk about my eating habits. What brings you all here?”
“We need somewhere to stay and rest for a day, before we carry on down to Chicago,” said Lakota. “We have people who are injured who need to be helped.”
She nodded, thoughtfully. “Of course. My home is your home. But why are you all going to Chicago?”
The older man frowned. “Have you not seen the news?”
“I don’t watch the television much. I don’t listen to the radio either. All they do all day is jabber. I prefer to read my books.”
He placed a hand on her arm. “Wenona, you always knew about the existence of spirit shifters, right?”
She nodded. “Of course. None of my family were blessed with the gift, or curse, or however you want to look at it—”
Tocho stepped forward. “They have now, Auntie Wenona.”
She frowned. “Tocho? Not you, surely? You’re too old to be chosen by a spirit.”
Autumn found herself being bundled forward. She stumbled up the steps toward the older woman, trying not to trip over her own feet.
“This is Autumn Anderson, Auntie. She has the power to create shifters.”
Her cheeks colored, feeling like she was being put on display. She was under the other woman’s scrutiny.
“You changed my Tocho?”
She nodded. “He asked me to.”
“Why?”
Chogan stepped forward to stand at her side. She was grateful for his presence, though after everything they’d been through, she wasn’t sure why the older woman’s acceptance bothered her so much.
“There’s a war going on between shifters and the government, Mrs. Ohare. We need as many shifters as possible on our side.”
Wenona squinted at Chogan, though Autumn didn’t think there was anything wrong with her eyesight. “Is that Chogan I’m looking at?”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“Well, didn’t you get all grown up on us?”
He smiled awkwardly. “I guess I did.”
“And you’re a shifter, aren’t you? I remember you and your cousin when you were boys, always running around stark naked ’cause you were always shifting from boy to beast.” She looked out over the crowd. “Where is your cousin? Lakota’s boy
? Blake, isn’t it?”
Autumn felt Chogan stiffen at her side.
“Actually,” said Autumn, “he’s one of the reasons we need somewhere to rest. Blake is hurt and we need to try and make him better.”
Worry clouded her features. “Well, sure. Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I wouldn’t have kept you waiting out on the porch all this time.”
“There’s a lot of us,” Chogan warned.
Her eye line drifted back to the mass of people congregating on her lawn. “I can see that. Bring the ill and injured inside. Everyone else may have to do with the barn round back. It’s not pretty, but it’s warm and dry.”
“Thanks, Wenona,” said Lakota. “We appreciate that.”
Tala and Romero were carried into the front parlor and laid on the floor, far enough away that they wouldn’t be able to hurt each other. Romero was almost fully wolf now, snapping and snarling at everyone around him. It was dangerous to go near him. They’d only just got him inside without being hurt. But within a minute, his wolf’s muzzle began to morph back to a man’s mouth again, and the danger passed.
Tala wasn’t much better. Though she’d given up on voicing her pain, learning over the last week that it did her no good, she still hissed air in over her teeth as her bones snapped and her muscles split and grew. Pain etched into the rigid expression on her face.
“We need to help them first,” Lakota told Autumn. “I can’t concentrate on the spirits guiding me about what to do with Blake knowing they are like this. It’s unnatural.”
“They already have my blood in their systems,” Autumn said. “Do you need more?”
Lakota shook his head. “I don’t think so. It’s the spiritual side I need to work with.”
“What can I do?” she asked, nerves creeping through her insides like weeds. She didn’t want this to go wrong. While she didn’t give a shit about Tala, she cared about the people who loved her. And though Vivian had been to blame for Romero, part of Autumn couldn’t help but feel responsible.
“Just stay nearby in case I need you.”
She nodded.
Who to help first? She could see the debate raging within Lakota’s heart. He would want his daughter to stop being in pain first, but this was something untested, and at the same time, he wouldn’t want to experiment on her.
He got to his knees beside his daughter. Seeing her in pain, as a father, all he would want to do was try to make it stop.
“I need candles,” he said to Wenona. “As many as you can find.”
She nodded and disappeared into a different part of the house. Autumn could hear thumps and scrapes as she searched for what Lakota needed.
Wenona returned, her arms full of church pillar candles. She got to her knees beside Lakota and allowed them to tumble to the floor. “We get a lot of power outages out here,” she said by way of explanation.
“Thank you,” said Lakota, and set about standing them up around his daughter. Autumn picked a couple up and began to help. “They need to be far enough away so she won’t knock them over,” Lakota explained.
“Is this going to hurt her?” Autumn asked.
“No more than she’s already hurting.”
She didn’t think that was much of an answer.
Wenona offered a box of long-stemmed matches, and Lakota made his way around, lighting the wicks. Each time one sparked to life, he took a pinch of the herbs he carried in the pouch around his neck, and dropped them into the flame. Smoke rose into the air, thick and white. Even after the herbs should all have burned, the smoke continued, collecting in a strange white cloud above their heads.
Lakota sat with his legs crossed, his forearms rested on his knees, his palms lifted up. Everyone fell silent, even the part-shifters seemed to relax in his presence. He began to sing, a low, melodic song that seemed to be more hums than words.
Something began to stir in the cloud of smoke above their heads. A flick of movement sent a burst of smoke outward to dissipate in the air. Lakota’s song grew louder, and the smoke stretched outward in the shape of a wing. The detail was intricate enough for Autumn to make out the pattern of feathers. Something dipped down from the bottom of the cloud, as if observing the woman below. It was the smooth head of a bird.
She understood what she was looking at. This was the spirit bound to Tala, the one that was fighting for control of her body. The huge bird gradually took on more shape, and as it did so, Tala’s body became more human. She began to relax, her expression almost at peace for the first time since she’d injected Autumn’s blood.
The white bird beat its wings, and suddenly dived down, toward Tala.
Autumn suppressed a scream of warning. But the smoke bird hit Tala and dispersed into white tendrils, which vanished into the air.
Lakota fell silent, and lifted his head. “It is done.”
Autumn looked toward Tala. The remaining parts of the bird began to vanish from her body. The young woman, who was naked except for her long black hair which fell over her shoulders and breasts, gradually began to lift herself from the floor. Her slender limbs no longer showed any sign of the quills of feathers, her bones long and straight. Though at first her expression was confused, the bewilderment cleared and she blinked around at everyone standing around her as though she’d woken from a deep sleep.
Chogan picked up a blanket folded on the back of a chair, and hurried over to his cousin to cover her nudity.
“Tala,” said Lakota, studying her face. “How are you feeling?”
She blinked at him and then smiled. “Father? I’m better now. I feel … almost normal.”
“Is the spirit still with you?”
She nodded. “I can sense it, like a part of my mind has been sectioned off and belongs to the spirit crow now. But it doesn’t feel like it’s battling me anymore.”
A slow smile spread across Lakota’s face. “That is excellent.” The smile vanished. “Tala, there is someone here you owe a substantial apology to.” He turned to Autumn.
Autumn didn’t know how to take the situation. Part of her was still furious with Tala, but what happened felt like a long time ago—even though it wasn’t—and it all felt as though it happened to another person. She was also aware of Tala’s family, of the trauma they’d all been through over the last few days. Chogan still seemed eager to make up for his mistakes, while Blake had troubles of his own. Lakota looked over them all, wanting them to be safe. She couldn’t stand to make things difficult for everyone else.
Tala bowed her head. “I’m sorry, Autumn. I don’t know what I was thinking. I wanted to be a shifter so badly, I didn’t care about anyone else. It was like the need took over me and turned me into someone else.”
What was she supposed to say? I forgive you? Because deep down, she wasn’t sure she had forgiven Tala. And why should she, just because Tala had decided to say sorry? How hard was it to conjure up a word? But then, hadn’t Tala punished herself enough? She’d been tortured for the past week, in constant pain. She’d experienced what it was like to be taken by force and held somewhere against her will.
Had Tala been punished enough?
But Autumn sensed the eyes of all those she cared about watching her nervously for her reaction. Something dawned on her. It didn’t matter about what Tala had been through, or even how she felt herself. What mattered was to make everyone else feel easy and at peace with this tiny part of the puzzle. There wasn’t much she could control. She couldn’t make Blake walk again, or make Vivian Winters no longer exist, or make society accept the shifters without question. But this part she could control.
“We’ll start afresh, Tala.” She tried not to let the words taste bitter in her mouth. Around her, she sensed everyone else relax. Though she wanted to be gracious, she was also the leader here, and Tala needed to know her place. “But if I get even a hint that you’re up to no good, you will be extradited from the group. Is this understood?”
Tala pressed her lips together and nodded. “Understood.”
“Good.”
Lakota gave his daughter’s hand a squeeze and they exchanged a smile of relief.
Autumn got to her feet and made her way over to where Romero was still stuck in the same mid-shift from which Lakota had just freed his daughter. Pelts of fur covered his cheeks and forehead, his nose still with a black covering, but his eyes appeared human, as did his mouth. He barely responded to her approaching, exhaustion and pain pinning him to the floor. Sorrow for Romero filled her heart. He might have been on the wrong side of all of this at the start, but he’d not asked for this. He’d been a victim of Vivian Winters, the same as she had.
She glanced over her shoulder to see Lakota approaching. Tala was picking up the candles, and she brought them, two by two, over to rearrange them around Romero. They all needed to keep their distance. Romero’s wolf was fierce and thought nothing of taking a swipe at one of them if it was in control of a limb or two when they got too close.
“I’ll need to repeat the process as I did with Tala,” Lakota said, when all of the candles were rearranged and lit. “I’ll need quiet.”
Autumn nodded and moved back to sit with Chogan, Tala, and the others.
Lakota moved around the candles and dropped herbs from the pouch into the flames, smoke rising into the air. Romero bucked and snarled inside the circle. It occurred to Autumn that what she was witnessing was similar to an exorcism, except, instead of banishing the spirit, they were welcoming it.
Lakota sat, cross-legged, on the inside of the circle of candles. He bowed his head and began to sing in the ancient, harmonic tones of tribal people from generations before.
As had happened with Tala, white smoke gathered above Romero’s body. Autumn’s eyes were glued to the cloud, her breath held in anticipation of catching a glimpse of the creature that had been tormenting Romero.
There it was! The flick of a bushy tail, the paddling of a paw. The wolf began to take shape, and as it did, Lakota’s song grew louder and more powerful. The wolf’s head lifted from the smoke, and though Autumn heard nothing, she recognized the familiar action of a wolf howling to the sky.
Then it lowered its head and dropped from the air above Romero, the cloud hitting the man’s body, before it vanished.
Autumn's War (The Spirit Shifters Book 4) Page 12