by Amelia Stone
I smiled, even though he couldn’t see me. He was looking in the other direction, in fact, like he was looking for someone. Looking for me. I took a step forward, but Jess grabbed my arm.
“No way,” she said. “You let him come to you.”
I frowned. “But he doesn’t know I’m here.”
“He’ll find you.”
On my other side, Kelly nodded. “You have to let the guy come to you,” she said, like she knew what she was talking about.
“Total rom-com moment,” Jenny agreed.
I bit my lip. “But what if he doesn’t see me?”
“He will,” Jess promised.
So I watched him for a minute as he scanned the room, but his eyes never found me. Ty came over to ask Kelly to dance, and she agreed way faster than I thought she would have, considering how much she was complaining about him a minute ago.
But still no Ward. Just when I was about to ignore Jess’s advice and walk over to him, his face lit up in recognition, and he smiled nervously.
At Melody Reyes.
She slinked up to him, wearing a very short, very pink dress. I frowned, because I hated pink. And also Melody. In fact, I mostly hated it because pink was Melody’s favorite color. And how did she get away with wearing a dress that short at a school dance? Sister Mary Agnes was totally going to bust out her yardstick any second now, that was for sure.
I was so focused on the dress that I almost missed it when she put her hands around Ward’s neck, saying something I couldn’t hear from my spot near the bleachers, more than fifty feet away. But he smiled at her again, nodding in agreement.
Then they started dancing.
I glanced at Jess, but she apparently had nothing to say, for once. Jenny was silent, too, as we all watched my worst nightmare unfold right before our eyes.
“I don’t-” I swallowed, unable to finish my sentence.
I don’t understand what’s happening. I don’t know why this hurts. I don’t even like Ward that much.
When he’d asked me to the Spring Fling, I’d said yes without giving it much thought. Because I was tired of being the social leper of St. Erasmus Middle School. And because it really seemed like he wanted to go with me. Maybe it was wrong of me to accept. Maybe it was wrong to convince myself I’d grow to like him, when I knew I wanted someone else. But that someone else didn’t want me like Ward seemed to want me.
But I guess I’d been fooled, tricked by his smooth smile and his smooth hair and his smooth lines. Because he was dancing with someone else, in front of the whole class. While he was supposed to be on a date with me.
Ward and Melody were swaying together, standing close. Too close. A slow song must have been playing, but I couldn’t have told you what it was, not even if the knowledge would save my life. I could hear nothing. But I could taste the bile rising up my throat, and I could see, with IMAX clarity, the scene before me.
Melody leaned in to whisper something in Ward’s ear, and he laughed.
And then she took his face in her hands and kissed him.
She kissed him right there in the school gym, in front of everybody at our Catholic middle school. In front of a bunch of nuns who had undoubtedly been prowling among the dancing kids all night, sternly reminding them to leave room for Jesus.
“Wow. She’s got some balls.”
Jess hummed in agreement at Jenny’s vulgar words. But I was too shocked to chime in, too shocked to even really understand what was happening.
Ward was kissing someone else, in front of the whole class. While he was supposed to be on a date with me.
He pulled back, saying something to Melody. She laughed in reply, tossing her long, shiny dark hair over her shoulder.
Then she turned her head and looked directly at me. She smiled triumphantly, and I knew. I knew she’d done this on purpose. She’d done this to hurt me, because that was her favorite extracurricular activity, more fun than cheerleading or drama club or any of the other things she filled her time with. She was the founding member of the Torture Krista club.
Ward turned, too, probably trying to see what Melody was looking at. His eyes met mine, and they flashed with something I couldn’t decipher, not from this distance. But before I could get closer, before I could even blink, his expression turned blank. I had no idea what he was thinking in that moment. Maybe he was in on Melanie’s continued quest to break my spirit. Maybe not.
It didn’t matter. They’d both hurt me.
My eyelids started to move rapidly, trying to get rid of the dampness there. I dug my sparkly silver nails into my palms, because I would not cry here. No freaking way would they get the satisfaction of seeing me cry over their treachery.
I tore my eyes from stupid Ward and stupid Melody, who were somehow kissing again, even though Sister Mary Agnes was marching right toward them. Instead, I looked around the room. People were starting to stare at them, laughing, chattering, and I even heard a few wolf whistles.
And then, because I was very lucky, the stares started coming my way, as though they’d all just remembered that Ward was supposed to be my date. People were suddenly pointing at me, then at the two lovebirds, and a bunch of them started laughing. At me.
I gasped, feeling like someone had just punched me in the gut, as nearly every person in the room focused their attention on me.
Melody Reyes and Ward Hopkins had just murdered my social status. In the gym. With their lips.
There would be no coming back from this. I wasn’t egotistical by any stretch of the imagination. But I knew, as I stood there in front of the bleachers, with disco lights glittering across my face as though deliberately spotlighting me, that no one would forget my humiliation here tonight. Not for a long time.
“I should go,” I croaked. I turned to Jess. “Right? I should leave.”
“For sure.” She nodded as she stared at the traitors. Her hands balled into fists, and I could have sworn I saw steam come out of her ears. “But let me just kick her ass first.”
I shook my head. “No. Definitely not.”
“Why not? She deserves it.”
Jenny nodded, gesturing to the dance floor. “She just stole your man.”
I winced, because Ward Hopkins was most definitely not my man. That was now crystal freaking clear.
At that moment, Kelly came over, Ty trailing behind her. She frowned at me, and it felt too much like pity for my tastes.
“Are you okay?” she asked, putting a hand to my back and rubbing softly, like my mom did when my stomach was upset.
I nodded. “I’m fine,” I lied.
Because Kelly might be nicer than the overwhelming majority of my classmates, but she wasn’t my friend. None of these people were my friends. Everyone who’d been nice to me for the last few weeks, all the kids who had followed Ward’s lead, were now gleefully watching my downfall.
Kelly frowned. “Let me get you some punch or something.” She glanced over at the refreshment station. “Or I think there are cookies?”
I shook my head violently, because I would have to be certifiably insane to eat anything right now. The story of my humiliation would only get more pathetic, because then I wouldn’t just be the jilted loser whose date kissed another girl at the dance. I’d be the fat girl who coped with it by eating her feelings, too.
Jess, who wasn’t looking at me, nodded. “Cookies are good. You have a cookie while I kill Melody.”
Kelly winced. “Or maybe just talk to her? Maybe it was a misunderstanding.” We all turned to stare at her, and she quickly shook her head. “No, probably not.”
“But you should still talk to her,” Jenny said. “Tell her how much she hurt you. Let her know she can’t just get away with it.”
I shook my head again, because there was no way I could confront Melody. Especially if doing so would make me vulnerable to her. She’d eat me alive.
“That’s cool,” Jess growled. “I’ll handle it. I don’t need words to get my point across.”
; I huffed at my baby sister. “No, Jess. No fighting.”
“But why?” She turned to me, scowling like I’d just told her she couldn’t have cake for breakfast.
“Because it will draw more attention to us,” I hissed. “People are staring.”
Everyone was still looking at me, and most of them were whispering to themselves. Probably something like “OMG, can you believe that fat girl actually thought she had a chance with the most popular guy in school?” And their friends were like, “LOL I know, right? What a dummy.”
I wanted to melt into the floor. Or turn invisible. Or fly away. Anything to get me out of here, to get me away from all these prying eyes. Away from all these people who had just witnessed the worst moment of my life.
Oh my gods.
“Let them stare!” Jess took a step forward, and I had to grab the back of her dress before her long legs ate up the distance to the dance floor. “I will make her cry in front of everyone. That should teach her to mess with a Summers girl.”
Before I could try to talk her out of it again, someone tapped my shoulder. I closed my eyes, fighting the urge to scream, or maybe run away, when a familiar voice cut through my panic – a voice that was deeper than the other boys’, and gravelly, like its owner had something stuck in his throat.
“Hey.”
I let Jess go, and she remained in place, mercifully. I turned around to find Seth standing there, his hand outstretched, his big brown eyes soft and warm.
“Dance with me?”
I froze, blinking rapidly. He wanted to dance with me? Right now? After a moment that seemed to stretch on forever, I blurted out the first thing that popped into my head.
“Why?”
He hesitated, opening and closing his mouth a couple of times like he couldn’t get the words out.
He’d been doing that a lot lately, and it was really starting to annoy me. Say it! I screamed in my head. Just freaking say it!
But he didn’t say it. He wouldn’t say it. Eventually, he shook his head, giving me a sad smile.
“Because I want to dance with my best friend to her favorite song,” he said instead.
I closed my eyes briefly, taking in the music for the first time since I’d walked through the door tonight. Harriet Wheeler was singing about a complicated love, and how not even wild horses could drag her from her man.
Talk about the soundtrack to my life.
I swallowed as I opened my eyes. “Okay.”
He laughed softly. “There’s the enthusiasm I was hoping for.”
I snorted. “Sorry. Yes. I’d love to dance with you.”
It wasn’t like I could say no to Seth. I’d never been able to, not since the first day of kindergarten, when he’d pulled my hair and asked me to be his friend. Besides, it seemed like my only other options were to either let Jess start a rumble in the school gym, or flee in disgrace.
So I took his hand, and he led me to the dance floor without another word. He put my hands on his shoulders, then placed his on my waist. I tried really hard not to think about how we were touching each other in a way we’d never touched each other before. It wasn’t like that, I reminded myself. This was just one friend rescuing another in her hour of need. Nothing more.
We shuffled awkwardly for a minute or two. Neither one of us were good dancers, apparently. I kept my eyes trained on his face, because I absolutely could not turn my head. I didn’t want to see Ward or Melody right now. Or ever. I would be happy if I never had to look at either of their stupid faces again.
Seth smiled at me again. “Better?”
I nodded, grateful that he didn’t ask if I was okay. We both knew I wasn’t. But standing on the dance floor, listening to my favorite song with my favorite person, things seemed maybe not as terrible as they were a minute ago.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I know you wanted to go to the dance with him.”
I bit my lip. I couldn’t tell him that I had never really wanted to go with Ward, not to the dance, not anywhere else. I couldn’t tell my best friend I would much rather be dancing with him as his date, not the object of his pity. This night had been humiliating enough. There was no way I could go there now.
“But you didn’t want me to.” I frowned as a sudden idea came to me, a horrible idea. I prayed that I was wrong, throwing the wish up to whatever gods, old or new, were listening. “Did you know this would happen?”
“What?” He looked horrified. “No way.” His gaze bounced to his right, where I knew Ward and Melody had been just a few minutes ago. “No. But I knew he was a butthead. You could do so much better.”
“Like who?” I scoffed.
He opened his mouth a few times, yet again. But of course he didn’t answer. Because we both knew the answer was ‘no one.’ No one else had ever been interested in me, and now, thanks to the traitors, no one ever would.
After a moment, I shrugged. “At least I didn’t have to spend the whole dance with him.”
He smiled. “True. This is way better.”
I bit my lip, surprised to find his eyes tracking the movement. I had no idea what to make of that – no idea what to make of anything, right at that moment – so I awkwardly patted his shoulders instead.
“Thank you.”
His brow wrinkled in confusion. “For what?”
I gave him a sad smile. “For saving me.”
His hands squeezed my waist again, and he pulled me just a little bit closer, though still leaving room for Jesus.
And an ocean of unrequited feelings, too.
“I will always save you,” he promised me.
And in that moment, I believed him.
My heart thumped wildly, hammering against my ribs as I stood in the ballroom at the LeGrand, face-to-face with Seth Holt for the first time in ten long years. I spent endless seconds just drinking in the sight of him.
After all, it might be the last time I’d ever get to do so. He was probably going to bolt any second now, never to return.
Or I was going to pass out. One or the other.
Seth looked amazing. Better than amazing. He was… there were no words right at that moment to describe what he was. I was too flustered to form sentences, even in my own mind.
Ten years ago, I’d thought Seth Holt was the most beautiful human being I’d ever seen. Granted, I hadn’t had much to compare him to, since I was barely more than a child, with the limited worldview of a girl who’d grown up on a tiny island with less than twenty thousand people on it.
But now, as an adult who had lived in the world, who had attended college and lived in big cities and traveled extensively? When I’d met my fair share of men, and even loved one?
There was no comparison. None at all.
His chest and arms had filled out over the years, and his shoulders were broader. He’d always had an athlete’s build, but now he seemed more comfortable in his body, as though he’d grown into it. It probably helped that his charcoal gray suit was perfectly tailored to every long, lean line. And I certainly didn’t miss how his crisp blue shirt and paisley tie set off his dark hair and eyes. He’d lost that last little bit of baby fat in his face, too, lending definition to his cheekbones and jaw, which were covered by about a week’s worth of beard growth.
And did I mention his eyes? Oh, those eyes. Those sweet, soft brown eyes that I used to love so much were now staring at me, perfectly framed by his improbably long, thick eyelashes. And the thunderstruck expression in them told me I was the last person he expected to see tonight.
“Ward, don’t be such a dork,” Kelly said, jarring me from my Seth-centric thoughts. “It’s Krista!”
I reluctantly tore my eyes away from Seth to look at Ward again. He hadn’t changed nearly as much in the last decade. Or maybe it was just that I didn’t care how he looked, then or now. His smarmy face was currently bathed in shock, though, which I had to admit gave me a little bit of satisfaction.
Ward gulped. “Krista? Krista Summers?” His eyebrows shot up lik
e he simply couldn’t believe it was really me.
“The one and only.” I offered a blobfish smile, which is what happens when I try to appear friendly, but am much too nervous and/or uncomfortable to actually lift my cheeks.
“Holy shit. Krista Summers.” Ward stood stock still, staring at me, and I had to resist the urge to squirm.
“Actually, not the one and only,” I amended.
“Huh?” Kelly looked up at me in confusion.
“I met another girl named Krista Summers once, in college,” I explained.
“Oh, I bet that was confusing,” she replied slowly, clearly not understanding where I was going with this.
And neither was I, honestly. I was just babbling. In that moment, I was more uncomfortable than I’d ever been in my entire life, including the first (and only) time I’d had to do a presser at E3, the annual gaming convention. There were dozens of people in the audience, as well as the media and a host of cameras, and I’d been tasked with speaking coherently and confidently about the breakout success of our very first game, Legend of Athena, and the future of Golden Goddess.
It went really, really badly. So badly, in fact, that my co-founder, Mike Weston, had to bail me out, taking over the rest of the conference – and every other press conference in the five years since then.
And still, that unmitigated disaster was nothing compared to having to stand here, in a sexy dress and come-hither makeup and do-me heels, in front of Seth fricking Holt.
What in Athena’s name was I thinking, coming here tonight?
“Not really,” I told her, not even sure what I was saying anymore. “The other Krista Summers was of Chinese and Jamaican ancestry. We looked nothing alike.”
“Oh.” Kelly gave me a look like she wondered what in Hades had happened to the only slightly awkward conversation we’d just been having. But then she glanced at Seth, who was still staring at me like I was an apparition. Then she nodded like all was explained.