by Faye Avalon
In retrospect, perhaps she had been wrong coming back to Bodmin. Knowing she would run into Tynan and, in doing so, would be forced to relive what had happened between them and the heartbreaking consequences.
She’d been desperately wrong getting sexually involved with him. Deep down, she’d known it was a huge mistake, but he was like a drug to her.
Naomi was still trying to get her thoughts and feelings into some semblance of clarity when they arrived at the police station. The adrenaline rush was leveling out, and she felt raw and unbalanced. Facing the ordeal with Stoltz was bad enough, but she was almost more unsettled by her growing reliance on Tynan and her escalating feelings for him.
Despite the fact that Ryan had detoured back to her car to collect her bag and phone, then secure her vehicle until Tynan could arrange for the recovery service, Naomi was surprised to see Tynan already waiting outside the station entrance when they arrived. He must have broken the speed limit to arrive at the station before them. He looked fierce and uncompromising standing there beneath the security lights, a frown darkening his face and his eyebrows drawn together in a scowl.
When Ryan pulled up, Tynan came over and opened the door for her. She noticed the slight limp and realized that he must have run like blazes to get to her on the moor. Mortified, she glanced up at him. “You’ve hurt yourself.”
“Bit stiff. It’ll pass.”
His gruff tone and brusque manner told her he wouldn’t appreciate her probing deeper into the subject, but she fully intended to check in with him about it after they had finished at the station.
He remained silent while he accompanied her up the steps to the entrance, but his hand settled at the small of her back. Under different circumstances, she might have reveled in his comforting presence. She had never given a statement to the police before, and the thought of doing so was pretty daunting. But far more intimidating was the unsettling feeling that Tynan wasn’t planning to let her keep him at arm’s length.
If that were the case, she might soon be facing an ordeal infinitely more threatening than anything the night had yielded so far.
Chapter Twelve
Tynan rummaged through Naomi’s refrigerator and found the basics for breakfast. He didn’t like how pale she looked when she’d come out of the interview room at the cop shop, nor did he care for the way she tried to fob him off and push him away. He understood that she wanted to be in her own place after what she’d been through, but there was no way he was going to leave her until she’d eaten and was feeling better. On the drive back, she hadn’t wanted to talk it through anymore, which again was something he understood. In fact, all she’d been interested in was assuring herself that he was okay and his back had settled down again. While he’d told her everything was fine, the truth was he was far from okay and his fucking back was acting up like there was no tomorrow.
He saw it as his penance. He’d failed to protect her. Had he been able to run faster, he could have found her before Stoltz had gotten his hands on her. He was certain that the image of the terror in Naomi’s eyes would be forever carved into his soul. And it was his fault. Plain and simple. He hadn’t gotten to her quickly enough.
She came out of the bathroom wearing a fresh tee and workout pants. Her hair was pinned up, although some wet strands hung down across her shoulders. She was still pale, and her eyes looked too large for her heart-shaped face, the haunted look in them confirming his instincts that something was going on that went even deeper than being terrorized by Stoltz.
Unanswered questions buzzed through his head, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going on with her. But damned if he could get a handle on what exactly it was.
He planned on changing that.
First things first, he decided, signaling for her to sit at the breakfast nook. With eyes full of suspicion, she complied, but stared at the soft poached eggs and slices of bacon he placed in front of her.
She swallowed. “I can’t eat all that.”
“Do your best. I’ll get the toast.” Keeping his eye on her, he walked to the toaster. “You don’t have any spread.”
She tucked her hands between her legs and looked up at him. “I don’t use it. There’s some malt spread somewhere if you want it.”
“I’ll survive. Now eat.”
She frowned, but thankfully she didn’t call him on the sharpness of his command. Right then, she looked too tired to do much of anything.
She had said little when she’d come out of the interview room, even less during the drive back to her apartment. He’d placed a hand over hers, but she’d remained tense and unyielding during the short journey home.
“There’s really no need for you to stay,” she said, her attention on the untouched food. “It was good of you to wait for me, but I know you have things to do.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” He pulled out a chair and disguised a wince when he sat opposite her at the counter. “And certainly not until you’ve eaten something.”
She narrowed her eyes. “You said you were feeling okay. It’s hurting you, isn’t it?”
“Like I said. Bit stiff.”
Reaching across for her bag, she pulled out painkillers. “Take two of these. And don’t argue, Tynan.”
He wanted to grin at her fierce tone, but the lost look in her eyes and the pallor of her face couldn’t have made him feel less like smiling.
After he’d swallowed the tablets, she picked up her fork and fluffed some of the egg. “You should see a doctor.”
“A hot shower will see me right.” He imagined that sharing a hot shower with his own special doctor would be the perfect remedy for what ailed him, but he kept his thoughts to himself. Instead, he pressed a little for her to open up. “Want to talk about it?”
Thoughtful for a moment, she took a deep breath. “They said Stoltz had been charged with sexual assault before. They said he had photos of me in his car.” She looked up with those stricken eyes and Tynan felt his heart catch. “I thought you were exaggerating, making a fuss over nothing. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Like I said. We had it covered.”
Resignedly, she shook her head “You made decisions about me and my life, and you didn’t think I had a right to know what was happening.”
Beneath her soft tone was an icy calm. Tread carefully, Tynan told himself. Best to say nothing until she got what she needed to get off her chest.
All the while, she continued to fluff those damn eggs, her fork digging in with venomous intent.
“Have you any idea how bloody sick I am of people making decisions for me? Thinking that they have the right to decide what’s best for me and my life? God. It never stops.”
“That’s not what I’m doing.”
The fork clattered down on the counter. “Yes. It is. That’s exactly what you’re doing.”
He narrowed his eyes and kept his rising temper in check. He wasn’t about to press the switch without knowing what it would unleash. “I’m not going to apologize for wanting to protect you, but I will apologize for upsetting you.”
She shot back in her chair. “Do you know how patronizing that sounds?”
He bit down on the inside of his mouth. She been through a traumatic experience, he reminded himself. She was tired. Emotional. Likely needing to vent. And he was a convenient target.
“Why don’t you eat those eggs and then get some sleep.”
Her expression turned lethal. “I have to work. I’ve got patients who need me.”
“Are you fucking kidding? After what you’ve been through, you need to rest.”
“You haven’t listened to a word I’ve said.” She scraped back her seat, snatched up the untouched plate and took it to the bin. After shoveling the food into the bin, she all but threw the plate into the sink. “You don’t get it, do you? You just don’t
get it.”
Calm, he told himself. Keep fucking calm. “Then spell it out for me. Make me get it.”
She glared at him, causing him to wonder what the hell he’d said wrong this time.
“You should leave.” She turned away, clasping her hands over the edge of the sink to stare out the window. “Thank you for helping me. I really mean that. But I need to be alone.”
While her tone was firm, a tremor reverberated on the last words. It was all he needed, and he went to stand behind her. The urge to touch her, to draw her back against him, was so strong he had to fist his hands and hold them tight to his sides. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, pull her close and never let her out of his sight again. But he knew she would tell him to get the hell away from her. So he kept his arms at his sides.
He took a step closer until mere centimeters separated them. “I’m finding it hard to give you what you want right now.” Every instinct he possessed cried out to him to scoop her up and take her away, keep her at his side, to know she was safe. Protected. He glanced down at her neck, felt the almost overwhelming need to sink his teeth into the succulent flesh. To mark her. Finally make her his.
The need was so intense, he felt his fangs descend.
He stood, fighting the instinct with everything he had, when she turned and looked up at him. Her eyes were ravaged, but there was a steeliness in them. “You’re finding it hard to give me what I want because it’s your nature to do what your instincts tell you to do. I can’t blame you for that. But it’s not what I need.”
“Then tell me what you do need.”
She sidestepped him when he reached for her. “You don’t owe me anything, Tynan. And you sure as hell don’t own me.”
“I’m not trying to own you—”
“I spent my childhood and teenage years being ruled by a man who thought he did. Who made decisions on my behalf he thought were in my best interests.” Her voice hitched again. “I swore never again. No man is going to control me. Not ever again.”
Tynan knew that her father had been a controlling man. That he’d ruled Naomi and her mother with an iron fist. “You think that’s what I’m doing?”
“It is what you’re doing. Like I said, I don’t blame you. I can’t blame you. All I can do is make decisions for myself that will give me what I want. Allow me to direct my own life. And never answer to anyone again.”
While there had never been any evidence, rumors abounded that the man had raised his hand on more than one occasion to Naomi’s mother. Tynan himself had seen the woman flinch around her husband.
It was insulting on so many levels to be compared to such a brute.
“I’m nothing like your father,” he felt compelled to point out. “You don’t have to answer to me, and you don’t have to compromise what you want in life.”
Closing her eyes, she shook her head. The action sent a fresh wave of frustration through him. “Damn it, Naomi. Why the hell won’t you let me in?”
She opened her eyes, throwing tiny daggers of irritation his way. “Let you in? To what? You think the fact we’ve had sex entitles you to something more?”
“Fucking right.”
She opened her mouth, closed it, then shook her head. “If that’s the case, you’re delusional. I’ll always be grateful for what you did for me with Stoltz, but apart from that, you’ve already given me the only thing I wanted from you. A threesome. End of story.”
“Is that so? I didn’t see anyone else making up the numbers last night when you screamed my name and kept begging me for more.”
She raised her shoulder. “It’s called sex. Good sex. I’ll give you that. And when it’s good, I usually scream and beg for more. It’s no big deal.”
Blood raged through his veins. He had a mind to pull her into his arms and show her just how big a deal it had been and would be again. But she was deliberately trying to push him further and further away, and he knew he had to keep his cool and play this very carefully if he wanted to find out what was really going on with her.
Her father was at the heart of it, with her not wanting to lose control of her choices, her freedom. Like her mother had done? Was she that terrified of being trapped in a relationship with someone she feared would dominate her, take away her liberty? Someone like him?
Again, insult skittered through his body, but he refused to react. He kept his voice low, his tone even. “Tell me what happened with your father.”
Panic rushed over her face, but quickly disappeared. “I’ve already told you.”
“Some of it. But not all. If you’re going to put me on a level with him, don’t I deserve to know why?”
“I don’t put you on a level with him.” It came out in a rush, before she stepped back and wrapped her arms around herself. “He was a bully and a total control freak. God, Tynan, don’t ever believe I think you’re like him.”
He wanted to throw up his hands in frustration. “Which makes this whole conversation moot. You’re using your past as a way to push me back, convincing yourself that I’d want to manipulate you, run your life like he did. What else am I supposed to believe?”
“It’s complicated. And it lives deep inside me. It’s taken me years to get to a place where I know that the choices and decisions I make are coming from me and not from his influence. For so long, I didn’t know who I was.”
After a moment’s hesitation, she faced him squarely. The defiance and determination that shone in her eyes almost brought him to his knees. “There’s something you need to know, Tynan. I should have told you a long time ago.”
Okay, he’d been pressing her, wanting her to spill her secrets. But now that it was happening, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. Especially when he noticed the way her hands trembled. Fear trickled through him, but he kept still, not wanting her to clam up now that she was actually talking to him about what was at the heart of her concerns.
“First, you need to know that the decision to leave for London wasn’t mine,” she said. “It was my father’s. He sent me away.”
Tynan frowned. “Why?”
“Because he knew…about you and me. About what we’d done.”
Shit. The vicious bastard had driven her from home because she’d dared to have sex with him that night? He sent her away from her family, her friends. From him.
His whole body tensed. If the fucker was around right then, Tynan knew he wouldn’t be responsible for his actions.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“We weren’t exactly on speaking terms at that point, were we? Besides, you couldn’t have done anything, and you might have made things even worse.”
“How could they be worse than you being exiled from everything you knew?”
“He was responsible for your accident.”
Tynan wasn’t entirely sure he’d heard her correctly, but before he could ask her to repeat what she’d said, she hurried on.
“Bob Tucker? The man who paid you to destroy those traps out on the moor? I think my father got him to do his own dirty work. He and Tucker were thick as thieves. I remember them drinking and playing cards long into the night, grumbling about certain people who had done them wrong and speculating on how they’d like to make them pay. I know that he paid Tucker to employ you, and then he deliberately set those traps by the old copper mine, knowing that you’d walk into one of them. He told me he intended to make you pay, and I know that he did.”
Tynan tried to process what Naomi was telling him. He had always reconciled his accident with being in the wrong place at the wrong time. If it had been a malicious act of deliberate intent, he had to come to terms with it in a whole different way.
“I’m so sorry, Tynan. Both for what my father did to you, and for not telling you before now.”
Her eyes filled, moisture welling up at her lower lashes and threatening to spill over. Tynan wasn�
��t about to let her take the blame on herself. “Even if you’re right about him, it doesn’t mean you’re in any way responsible. It’s on your father, not you.”
“What we did set everything in motion. We should never have taken things beyond friendship. As you said at the time, it was a mistake.”
No longer able to resist, he took her hands in his. “The only thing that was a mistake was me acting like a horny jerk and making it difficult for you. It was a mistake when I didn’t come after you, tell you how sorry I was and make things right.”
She looked down at their joined hands, a wistful expression on her face. “I didn’t want to see you. I felt stupid and naïve, making such a fuss over the whole thing.”
“You deserved better than I gave you that night. There’s nothing stupid or naïve in expecting to be treated with consideration.” He tightened his fingers around hers. “Why won’t you give us a chance, sweetheart?”
For a moment, he thought she might say yes, she’d give them a chance. Her eyes met his with bright expectation. But then it was gone, as if inside her a switch had been flicked back to its default setting. “My aunt always said I’m like my mother. I can’t chance that I have her weakness inside me. She loved my father to the point where she gave up her life for his. She did everything he wanted, which meant giving up on her hopes and dreams. She wanted more children, but he didn’t. I don’t think he even wanted me. To him, I was just another female to command and manipulate to his will.”
“You’re stronger than your mother. Damn it, Naomi. You’re the strongest woman I know.”
She smiled a little. “Thanks for that. I wish I could be different, Tynan. I really do. And after what my father did to you, I know I owe you, but—”
“I don’t want you to be with me because you think you owe me,” he snapped, releasing his hold on her hands. “Fuck it to hell, is that what you think? That I expect you to make some sort of reparation for what your father did to me?”