I covered the baby’s face with his blanket, so he wouldn’t breath in the dust and the dirt and decided I wasn’t happy with that and put him under my shirt to my breast. At least while he was nursing, I knew he was okay, and the little rascal never turned down a meal. But as I walked around and protected my baby, I had a sense of calm. Not only was I in the midst of a thunderstorm, which I hated, I was also in the middle of a barn, the iconic place that meant all that was evil to me.
“Are you okay?” Dane whispered behind me. Then I felt the strength of his hands on my arms. Unbinding support.
“I’m fine. I really am. The past doesn’t own me anymore because if I were to allow it, then my son would grow up being afraid of everything I am, and I want him to know I’m strong and courageous, not needy.”
Dane sat on the stool behind him and pulled me down onto his lap. “You are never needy, if anything your independence is overwhelming, but it hurts you at the same time because you refuse to let anyone help you. But the last few months you’ve fought to change that, until right this moment. I’m so sorry, honey. There was nothing on the weather channel about this storm. It blew up out of nowhere.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. My momma sent this storm. Whenever I go to our creek, even on a calm day, there’s always a gust of wind. Today, she knew I needed to face what was holding me back in life. Today, she forced me to move forward with the redemption I needed to be whole.”
Dane soothed my back with his hands. “For a while, you forgot how strong you are, but you found your way months ago. You didn’t need today.”
“That’s just it. You’re wrong. I was strong in my bubble, but you didn’t see me leaving the house, unless I was with you. But now, in the real world, I’m no longer captive. I’m free.”
He tried to pull me close for a kiss, but Layla got between us, so he propped his forehead on mine. “Giving you my heart was the best thing I ever did.”
“Ditto.”
Once the storm had broken for a moment, we left the four-wheeler in the barn and walked quickly back up to the main house, Layla at our heels. The storm was the cleansing moment of clarity for me.
With Trippe in bed, Dane built a fire and cuddled with me on the couch. Make that “hogged” the couch to the point I was holding on so I wouldn’t fall off, so I finally laid on top of him, which was what he wanted to begin with.
“You are so bad.” I giggled.
His laugh was a guilty one because he knew what he’d done. “So I like being under you. Arrest me for loving my wife.”
I leaned my head back so I could see Dane’s face. “Now, I know where Trippe gets his rooting from. Did you see he’d wiggled until his head was at the end of the bassinet this morning?”
Dane unfastened my ponytail so he could run his fingers through my hair. “No. I thought they didn’t do that until about a month.”
“That’s rolling over. He wiggles so much and hates the blankets wrapped around his legs.”
“I have definitely noticed that. He kicks his feet out when I take his diaper off.”
I laughed and barely got my words out. “That’s the signal that you’re about to get wet.”
My lover pulled me close to his face. “I wanna make you wet.” He kissed me hard on the mouth, then softened his grip in my hair before sliding his hands down my backside. It was a few minutes before we came up for air.
“You do. Every time you touch me or look at me in that wanting way, my body reacts in a manner I didn’t know it could.”
I slid down his body, lifting his T-shirt in order to leave tempting bites and sweet kisses until I got to his jeans. With them opened to my satisfaction, I watched through my lashes as he tossed his head back in pleasure. With his hands deeply entwined in my hair, he encouraged me not to stop.
Afterwards, I rested beside him until his breathing returned to normal.
“Babe, that was awesome, but just know, I can’t wait until we make love again. Nothing replaces that for me.”
It was such a sweet thing to say. I stood and took his hand, silently encouraging him to follow. I wanted his hands on me, touching me, loving me in every way possible in our bed. Because, like him, to me nothing could replace making love, and I couldn’t wait until we were able to join together again. I knew we would not make it to six weeks.
I was sitting on the couch with my laptop, and Dane was in the kitchen, whistling a perky tune while warming a bottle. I wondered how long he was going to enjoy doing bottle duty. But while he was happy, I was spending time Googling Christmas outfits for babies when one of the corner ads on the screen for some gorgeous lingerie caught my eye. I’d never spent a lot of time lingerie shopping. The only time I’d even come close was when I’d bought the stripper outfit for Stephan.
I clicked on the link, and my world expanded. Dane had given me a few pieces to take on our honeymoon to France, but being pregnant-large and not in charge, I didn’t have the sexual confidence to pick out stuff myself. But, now that I had an idea about what he liked, I skimmed the pages.
This wasn’t just panties and bras; it was luxury lingerie with pieces I didn’t even know existed. Le Perla, Maison Close, Nancy Meyer, and Agent Provocateur had me captivated, and I was formulating a plan before I knew it.
By the time Dane returned to the den with the little man of the house, I had filled the virtual shopping cart with silk, lace, and all their friends. “Would you be terribly upset to delay our trip until after Christmas?” I asked.
He looked up from cooing to Trippe and wrinkled his brow. “Something wrong?”
I had to think fast. “No, but it would be wrong to take Trippe away from your grandfather on his first Christmas. And since it’s our first Christmas together, I kind of like the idea of having it here in our home with a big tree and all of our friends and their families. We could leave the next day and spend New Year’s Eve in France.”
A smile quickly came to his face. “I’m with you, no argument here. Honestly, I only wanted to scoop you away and take you back to a place that was peaceful for you, but you’re are right. I didn’t think about Grandfather missing out with Trippe.”
He rocked and talked to Trippe, and unbeknownst to him, I was shopping like a mad woman. Shopping. Shit. I only had a few weeks to get my Christmas shopping done, and I hadn’t even thought about a gift for Dane. We’d been in baby mode for too long.
“You doing research over there,” he asked as he stood up to join me on the couch.
Quickly, I opened a new browser. “Christmas shopping. What’s on your wish list?”
“You, naked on the hood of my car.” His grin said he was teasing, but something told me he was not.
I giggled. “You know you wouldn’t risk a scratch, not even for sex, so give me another idea.”
“You telling me you’re pregnant again.” He wiggled his brows at me before leaning over to kiss my cheek.
“Dane, you just got a little somethin’ somethin’, and I know you did not just say pregnant to a woman who’s post-partum by less than a week. Careful, mister, or you’re gonna find yourself in the doghouse.”
We both looked over at Layla who was passed out on her bed by the windows. I sure wished I got as many naps as she did. It was truly a dog’s life.
“Okay, there is something I’ve been wanting or looking at.” He paused. “Since I’m not working right now and the guys have the ranch taken care of, I was thinking about a vintage car to fix up.”
That did not surprise me in the slightest. He loved his grandfather’s vintage Corvette and the oodles of car magazines delivered every month. I often wondered why he didn’t have a slew of vehicles around. The ranch had a four-car garage and only two of the bays were taken up with my Volkswagen and our Cadillac sport utility. There was another area made for working on a car with a lift and everything.
I opened up another page to search. “Okay, what did you have in mind?”
“Hmm, an old Ferrari, Spyder, or perhaps a vi
ntage Aston Martin.” He ginned like a boy who’d just got his first kiss.
“The James Bond car?”
“You know what that is?” He was amused at my car knowledge.
“Every girl wants to ride in the car with Bond.” I searched on the internet, while he burped our little monster.
When the diaper explosion happened, suddenly it was my turn. While I was away, Dane took over the car search. I didn’t know how he thought we, or rather he, would have time to have Christmas, travel to Europe and spend two weeks there, come back for Karina’s wedding, and build a car along the way, but whatever. It made me realize his mind was idle, and a restless mind was never a good thing.
That evening, we took Trippe over to visit with Asher and have Thanksgiving dinner. It was a very small gathering, and Evelyn could only stop by for a short visit, but she wanted to check on Asher and see the baby.
“He’s grown already, and by next week, he’ll be able to take me fishing. The week after that he can drive my car. What are you giving him, magic growing juice?”
I took photos as Asher held his great-grandson. “Well, just keeping it all organic. You know how Dane is.” I winked.
When Trippe started rooting, Asher got a little nervous and called for backup. Dane took our boy from his grandfather, but not before Asher grabbed hold of Dane’s arm.
“Son, I want to thank you for carrying on the family name and picking the best bride on the planet. You couldn’t have done it without me.” He laughed, but Dane and I both knew what he said was very true. His illness had brought us together, and his support had got us back on track.
“Grandfather, you know the best hunter always gets the biggest kill.” He gave his grandfather a gentle punch in the shoulder. They always gave each other pretend jabs, and for the most part, they rarely had arguments, especially when they’d finally decided to sell the company.
It warmed my heart to watch them. I didn’t know what our life would be like without Asher, but I wasn’t ready to find out.
He’d met Evelyn at a social event for seniors, and while she’d been a widow for many years, she was financially established and not looking for a sugar daddy. They played cards and got along great, and since he’d started seeing her, we saw him less and less, but at least he was happy and she was a sweetheart.
A week before Christmas, I had almost all my shopping done, all of my matron-of-honor duties checked off, and two things left on my agenda. We needed to put up our Christmas tree, and I still needed to finish up my husband’s gift. He had everything money could buy with custom suits, nice watches, and all the sports stuff with season tickets that he rarely used anymore. With my gift, the intention was something that spoke of life, family and our love.
Whenever he spoke of his mother, he always mentioned how proud he was that even having him young, she’d continued to go to school and worked hard to get her medical degree. It had meant everything to him, even though it was the way he lost her.
I decided to set up a scholarship in Christina’s name, and I contacted the dean at UT Southwestern to start the paperwork. The goal of the scholarship would be to finance the medical schooling for a young woman desiring a career as a pediatrician, and the Christina V. Lawrence Scholarship was born. After the holidays, submissions would start coming in, and Dane would be able to pick the final candidate after conferring with the dean.
I hoped he was thrilled with the idea. It was a way for his mother’s legacy to live on, helping innocent children of our world.
On Christmas Eve, we spent the day with Karina and Aaron because she had to work the ER that night, and we hadn’t seen them in a couple of weeks. When I followed her into the restaurant, I noticed she had lost a good bit of weight, and I was worried she’d been starving herself to fit into the beautiful wedding gown she’d picked out.
“What gives? You barely touched your food and since when do you turn down a chance to eat sushi?”
She stirred the pasta around on her plate. “I guess I can tell you now. You’re going to find out soon enough.” She paused and took in a deep, calming breath. “I have ovarian cancer.”
My happiness fell to the floor, along with the plate I accidentally knocked over. The noise startled Trippe, and he began to wail. My tears fell silently. I didn’t know what to say. The guys returned from the salad bar and saw my face and hers. Aaron assumed she had told me, but Dane was in the dark.
“Wrenn, what’s going on?” He put his plate down and tried to take Trippe.
“Honey, please sit down.”
Aaron cleared his throat. “Hey, dude, we didn’t want to tell you guys until after Christmas. We promised we were going to keep this a secret for our friends and family to be able enjoy the holiday, but I guess Karina couldn’t keep a secret from Wrenn. She’s sick, bro. She’s got cancer.” He locked his hand with Karina’s on top of the table.
Working in oncology, I knew what this meant, but I also knew the survival rate was really good. However, babies were out of the question.
“Karina, Aaron, I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say and I don’t want to ask a gazillion questions while we’re here, but man, whatever I, we can do, we will.” Dane was visibly shaken by the news.
“I’ve had some eggs harvested for possible surrogacy later on, and I had surgery last week. They removed everything. We aren’t postponing the wedding, but we haven’t told anyone else about the cancer.”
I handed Trippe to Dane and hugged my best friend. I couldn’t even begin to comprehend what she was going through, but I knew I couldn’t leave her and go to France.
“I’ll carry your baby for you, and I’ll be right beside you through thick and thin, just like you were for me.”
“Good, because going through chemo is not going to be fun.”
Chemotherapy usually meant the tumor was high grade or had spread. “They’ve already decided on chemo?”
When I saw her shoulders slump, I worried the results were horrific. “Only one ovary and no spread of disease, but I carry the gene and the tumor was high grade. They talked with Aaron and me both about all the choices, and even though chemo will be tough, I have the best survival with it, and we both think it’s the right thing to do.”
My core was rocked. We went back to our house to exchange gifts. Afterwards, I put Trippe down for a nap and consoled my friend. I saw where she was coming from, and I wanted to be there for her.
“They are going to wait until after the wedding to start the chemo, so I want you to go on your trip and come back ready and refreshed to help me.” She laughed and shed a few tears.
I got her another tissue from the side table. “You’re certain?”
“Yes, that’s my gift to you. You need to do what you planned with the little rendezvous. Does he know yet?” she whispered in my ear.
“Gosh, no. I had to slip the packages and boxes in the back of my car and throw them away at a dumpster behind the restaurant. All week he’s been driving me nuts.”
“I know, Aaron’s been the same way. They told us we had to wait a couple of weeks. He said he didn’t envy y’all having to wait six weeks. So, I think tonight when I get home will be close enough to two weeks, and he and I need it with everything we’ve been going through.”
“I’m sure. I meant what I said about being your surrogate.”
“I know.”
There was no greater gift than the gift of life, and I was honored I might be able to give that to her and Aaron.
Chapter 43
I woke on Christmas morning to the sounds of my baby cooing in his crib coming through the monitor. Dane was still sleeping peacefully curled up behind me. I laid still and my thoughts drifted to my friends in need. The holiday season had not been a healthy one for either of my best friends.
Yesterday, when I called Justin to wish him a Merry Christmas, he told me a heavy branch had fallen during an ice storm and broke his arm, so he had a friend staying with him, helping at the ranch. I felt bad because he w
as still taking care of my house as well as Stephan’s. That was when it became clear I needed to make a decision about both Arkansas properties.
“What’s got your mind occupied, sweetheart?”
I rolled over and kissed my husband good morning. “Merry Christmas. Our first Christmas.”
He started nuzzling his sexy scruff against my neck and roaming his hand up my thigh.
“Easy, cowboy. We’ve things to do and people to see.”
He huffed. “Two more weeks cannot pass quickly enough for me.”
I rolled out of bed and went across the hallway to say good morning to my little man sunshine. He was all smiles. I adored the way he woke so happy in the morning.
“Good morning, mama’s boy. Merry Christmas. I think you’ve been an excellent little boy, so no lumps of coal for you, oh no.” I changed his diaper and carried him to the den, where Daddy was helping himself to some gifts under the tree.
I cleared my throat. “Mr. Lawrence, are you hunting for something?”
He looked at me like he’d been caught red-handed. “Nope, just sorting what gifts go with us today to Grandfather’s house.”
“Great recovery, but I’m not buying what you’re selling.”
He handed me a small box wrapped in red. When I removed the paper, Cartier was stamped on the box. I opened the box carefully and gasped at the beautiful square ruby ring with a square sapphire on one side and a square topaz on the other and small diamonds all around.
“It’s really beautiful. You had it made?”
“Yes, I researched birthstones for you, your mother, and Peanut. Yours was easy with the ruby and the sapphire for your mother, but finding a topaz that looked good with them was tough. I must’ve looked at a hundred stones before I found that one.”
“I love it. It’s unique, and I would’ve never thought about a family ring.”
He sat down beside me and removed the ring from the box. I held out my shaking right hand. Instead of putting the ring on my finger, he pulled my palm to his lips and kissed me sweetly.
The Creek Series: Complete Set: Parts I, II, & III Page 26