by Jackie Lau
“I think it’s amazing,” he said. “Very sexy.”
“The artist is talented, isn’t she?”
He nodded. “You look incredible—it looks just like you, and I like the way the skirt is flying up. I’d love to see this every day, and I love that you were confident enough to get it done. I bet you enjoyed posing for it.”
“I did.”
She breathed out a sigh of relief. He wasn’t being weird and judgmental about this.
But as she undressed and settled back into bed, she couldn’t help feeling agitated.
She trusted him and felt so damn close to him, and this wasn’t what she wanted. She couldn’t lie to herself and claim it was just sex.
No, the sheer terror she felt made it impossible.
Terror that he’d find someone else. That a month from now, someone else would use that toy on him. Someone else would receive a cute succulent and a cute succulent dessert.
And those feelings terrified her. It was a vicious loop.
She hadn’t had such feelings for a decade, but David was special.
She couldn’t have more with him, though.
First of all, because she couldn’t imagine him wanting it. It ran counter to her experiences in the last ten years. Second of all, because relationships had not been good to her in the past.
“Is something wrong?” David asked drowsily.
She sifted her fingers through his hair. “Don’t worry. I’m fine.”
“You sure?”
A moment later, his breathing changed. He was asleep.
But she was wide awake. This was becoming too much, and she had to protect herself. Extricate herself from this situation before it was too late. She should stop seeing him so often.
Except how could she possibly give up Fridays?
No, she wouldn’t, but she’d stop visiting him at other times during the week, and she’d try to text him as little as possible.
The ache in her chest?
It was just proof that this was the right thing to do.
Chapter 25
Nicole stared at Sierra’s plate. Why did her friend order Brussels sprouts nearly every time they came to Ossington Cider Bar? True, the sprouts were covered in cheese and bacon, but still.
Nicole’s stomach growled, but not because she was tempted by the Brussels sprouts. She suddenly realized she hadn’t eaten since noon, which wasn’t like her.
She didn’t want a burger or mussels, though. Maybe she’d just get a brownie with ice cream. That was a solid dinner, wasn’t it?
“Nicole?” Rose said softly.
Nicole jerked her head up. “Yeah? Did you say something?”
“I just asked if you’re okay,” Rose said. “You’re a bit spaced out.”
Nicole had a sip of her blackberry nectarine cider, which didn’t taste as good as it normally did. “I’m fine.” She managed a smile. “Long week at work, you know?”
Victor and Mike weren’t here today. It was just the five of them: Nicole, Sierra, Rose, Charlotte, and Amy.
“It’s that guy next door, isn’t it?” Amy bounced in her seat. “Wouldn’t it be cool if you married the guy next door, like me?”
Nicole nearly spat out her cider. “Marry? I’m not marrying anyone. And I don’t like him. Not in that way.”
“Sure, sure,” Sierra said skeptically.
Last time, Nicole’s slowness to respond had made them suspicious, but this time, her quick denial seemed to have the same effect. Apparently, they’d assume she liked David romantically no matter what she said and how she said it. It was horribly unfair.
She was tired of denying it when her friends were never going to believe her anyway, so she said, “Fine, I like him a little, okay?”
“You sound as cranky as me,” Charlotte muttered.
Just then, Charlotte’s sister Julie, their server tonight, came around. “Who’s cranky?”
“Nicole,” Charlotte said. “She has a crush on a guy.”
“Can you get me a warm brownie with ice cream?” Nicole asked Julie. “And another of these.” She held up her pint glass, which was still half-full, but she intended to drink the rest of it in the next five minutes. “Thank you.”
“Coming right up,” Julie said before heading to another table.
Rose sipped her drink. “Nicole even declined to go out for dinner with me yesterday. I wanted to try a new Taiwanese restaurant, but—”
“I’d already made plans with David,” Nicole said, “and I really wanted sweet plantains.”
“Or maybe one particular plantain?” Sierra waggled her eyebrows.
Nicole ignored that. “Plus, he’d been sick, so I only got to see him briefly last Friday, though I did make him jook the next day.”
Dammit, why had she said that?
“You cooked for him,” Rose said. “Interesting.”
“Can we move on to another topic?”
“What did you have for dessert yesterday? He always gets you nice desserts, doesn’t he?”
“He got me a matcha and white chocolate pastry with a macaron on top. It looked like a potted succulent. He also brought me a real succulent to go with it.”
“He likes you. He definitely likes you.”
Nicole couldn’t help being hopeful, but she quickly shoved that feeling away. In her annoyance, she almost shot back, What do you know about such things?
Luckily, she managed to bite her tongue. Rose didn’t deserve that.
“I agree,” Amy said. “He bought you a cute plant. That has to mean something, and unlike cut flowers, it’ll last. Isn’t that sweet?”
“He probably wanted to get you flowers,” Charlotte said, “but figured you’d freak the fuck out, so he got you a succulent instead.”
“He just did it because of the pastry,” Nicole protested. “It was a little joke, that’s all.”
“You sure spend a lot of time together. I doubt you’d do that if you didn’t both like each other. Mind you, I don’t enjoy spending much time with people in general, so maybe I’m not the best one to give advice. But Mike doesn’t really count as a person.”
“Um...”
“That’s a positive thing! Like, it’s easier to be with him than other people.”
“Yeah, it’s like that with David, too,” Nicole admitted. “I can relax. I don’t have to constantly worry about what he’ll say or how he’ll react to every little thing I do.”
Thankfully, her brownie arrived. Amy eyed it hungrily, but no way was Nicole sharing. Amy could get her own damn brownie.
Ugh, what was happening to her? Nicole was usually cool and self-possessed, and now she was shoveling brownie into her mouth and trying not to think about the man who’d given her a succulent last night. She just wanted to go back to who she used to be.
But what if that woman was gone?
“You should say something to him,” Amy said, “I’m positive it’ll go well.”
“No.” Nicole stabbed her brownie angrily, even though the poor brownie had never done anything to hurt her. “You don’t understand. Men never feel that way about me. I’m the woman they fuck before they find true love, and don’t tell me otherwise. It’s happened many times.”
“That’s just bad luck. You think you don’t deserve it?” Rose asked.
“Of course not! I’m awesome.” Nicole didn’t feel awesome right now, though. She was whiny, and she hated it.
“Exactly.” Rose nodded. “If David has good taste, he should see that, too.”
Her friends were kind, but what did it matter?
On the off chance David had feelings for her, it wasn’t like Nicole was going to date him. She wasn’t putting herself through that shit again. She’d done it before and learned her lesson.
Life was better this way.
Except she used to love coming home to an empty apartment with no one to make demands on her, and eating whatever she wanted in front of the TV. She used to love seeing a cute guy at the bar and flirting with h
im. And now, those things made her lonely and tired.
“By the way,” Charlotte said, “I saw David in your grandma’s TikTok videos.”
“He did what?” Amy was nearly shouting in Nicole’s ear.
“Yeah.” Nicole sighed. “My grandma asked him to make food with her and appear in her videos because apparently handsome men can make videos more successful. Who knew.”
“He must really like you if he appeared in your grandma’s TikToks.”
Nicole shrugged. “He’s a nice guy.”
“You know who you sound like?” Charlotte asked, then continued without waiting for an answer. “Me. When I confessed to having teeny-tiny feelings for Mike. You’re putting up such a fuss. Remember how much you teased me back then?”
Nicole responded by drinking more cider. “I apologize. I can understand now how annoying it is.”
Her friends looked around the table, and by silent agreement, seemed to decide to change the topic.
“Any plans for the summer?” Amy asked, upbeat.
But although the conversation moved on, Nicole’s thoughts did not.
* * *
Sunday afternoon, Nicole was moping around her apartment, trying to stop herself from texting David or going to H-Mart to buy more delicious snack food. She’d just about lost her willpower when the phone rang. It was her grandma.
“Wah, who does she think she is? How dare she?”
Oh, no. What family drama had Nicole missed now?
“Did Kelsey try to stop you from climbing a ladder again?” Nicole inquired, thinking back to the last time she’d gotten a call like this. “Did she set out plastic cockroaches for you to smack with your wok?”
Po Po kept talking as though Nicole hadn’t spoken. “I work so hard. I even did my hair special for yesterday’s video.”
“Yes, I saw that. You looked very nice.”
“But nobody cares about me anymore. All they care about is her. She thinks she’s so special, just because she is a hundred years old and can still dance. Aiyah, her dance moves are terrible!”
Nicole was confused. “Can you put Kelsey on the phone, please?”
There was a bunch of crashing and banging on the other end, but eventually she heard Kelsey’s voice.
“Po Po has found her nemesis,” Kelsey said. “There’s an elderly Korean lady who dances to K-pop and makes her own costumes, and one of her videos went viral. Po Po is jealous because Mrs. Lee is getting so much attention.”
“She is stealing my thunder!” Po Po said. “Evil thunder stealer! How dare she!”
Nicole couldn’t stop laughing. “I still care about you, Po Po.”
“I want the whole world to love me! Be famous. You are just one person.”
“Just one person? I’m your eldest grandchild.”
“Fine. You are okay—”
“And there are still lots of views of your videos,” Nicole said. “Lots of comments. You’re doing pretty well. Mrs. Dong doesn’t even have a single video online, does she?”
“I don’t care about Mrs. Dong anymore.”
“I thought she was your closest friend or dearest enemy. I was never quite sure.”
“I need to go to Seoul and challenge Mrs. Lee to dance-off!”
“Um... Po Po, you’re not a very good dancer.”
“But she is even worse! She has no skills. People are just impressed because she is so old. When you get to one hundred years, anything you do is impressive,” Po Po scoffed. “You ask David to take me to Korea, okay? He speaks the language, yes? He will be translator.”
“Po Po, don’t you think this is a bit extreme?”
“I saw a Popsicle—”
“Listicle.”
“—yesterday, and she was on it, and I wasn’t. If you won’t let me follow my dreams—”
“I think it’s great that you and Kelsey are doing these TikToks but—”
“Then do me a favor. Ask David if he will star in another video with me. Also ask if he has three handsome friends who will take off their shirts and be my back-up dancers.”
Nicole collapsed on the couch in laughter.
“Why are you laughing?” Po Po demanded. “I need to get ahead of Mrs. Lee. What else do you suggest? Ask David.”
“No. He just made videos with you a couple of weeks ago, and he has to submit the final marks for his classes. He’s busy.”
“Did you have a fight?”
“No.”
“What is wrong? You sound weird.”
“I do not sound weird,” Nicole said, trying her hardest to sound normal, even though, yes, okay, fine, she was a tiny bit sad at the thought of David. She wanted to see him today, but it would be better to keep her distance.
“You will make up—”
“I told you. We didn’t have a fight. And we’re not dating.”
“—and then you will ask him in a few weeks. He will say yes.”
“We’ll see,” Nicole said.
“Fine. Do not help your poor old po po.”
“I can help you in other ways, but please, no more surprise visits.”
Twenty minutes later, Nicole finally managed to get off the phone. A part of her wanted tell David about that phone call—when had he become the person she wanted to tell about everything? Ugh.
Instead, she’d make herself some coffee and try not to look forward to Friday...or fantasize about getting stuck in the elevator again with him.
Yep, she needed to reign in these feelings ASAP.
* * *
“Saturday evening,” Murray said by way of greeting. “You free?”
“Should be,” David said, looking up from his spreadsheet.
“Now, I don’t want to spring this on you as a surprise like Cassie.”
Oh, no. Murray was going to—
“Our daughter has a friend at work who’s a little older than her—a little younger than you—and she’s looking to settle down.”
Yes, it was exactly as David had feared.
“Uh, sorry,” he said. “I’m sure she’s very nice, but I’m not interested. You see, the woman who lives next to me...”
David spent a few minutes describing how he and Nicole had gotten stuck in the elevator together, and how they’d started having dinner together on Fridays, and how they’d begun...making out. He made no mention of hearing her having sex. He also explained that Nicole had made it clear she didn’t want a relationship, and his plan was to continue to treat her well and hope she would come to see him as someone who loved her and wouldn’t make her change who she was.
Murray shook his head. “I think you’re being a scaredy-cat.”
David had been afraid of that.
“You’ve been seeing lots of this woman for months,” Murray said. “You’ve already shown her who you are. Do you think another few months will really make a difference? Tell her now, and I bet she’ll say yes. Don’t be one of these people who’s secretly in love with someone for years, like my brother. You have to seize the day!”
“You really think she’ll say yes?”
“From all the time she’s spent with you? From the food she made when you were sick? Yeah, I think this woman has feelings for you, too.”
Well, it was nice to have someone reassure him.
But did Murray really know what he was talking about, or was he just being an encouraging friend? He’d never met Nicole, after all, and he had no recent experience with the dating world.
Still, even though David’s hands were already shaking at the thought, he resolved to do something soon. This Friday.
And he knew exactly how he’d do it.
Chapter 26
Another week of work was over.
For some reason, this week had seemed particularly long, but now it was Friday. Nicole had ordered sushi, which should be delivered around seven.
Until then, she’d kick back and relax.
She changed into more comfortable clothes, and she was examining her small collection of wine
when there was a knock on the door.
Was it David? He was early today.
She couldn’t help smiling as she sauntered to the door and opened it up.
Indeed it was David, with a box in his hands. What had he brought for dessert?
But she couldn’t think about that for long because the man himself looked particularly delectable. He was wearing khakis and a button-down shirt that was a nice shade of blue.
And they still had another forty minutes until food arrived.
“Hey.” She took the box from his hands and set it on the counter, and then she pulled him down for a kiss.
Mmm. Why did he always taste so good?
She wrapped a leg around him and tried to climb him, but when she swept her tongue into his mouth, he put his hands on her shoulders and stepped away from her.
“Not yet,” he said. “I have something to tell you.”
Oh, gosh. He wasn’t smiling at all.
“Is something wrong?” she asked.
He shook his head. “I thought we could have dessert first.”
Okay. But something was definitely wrong. She could feel it.
David went to the counter and opened up the box. He took out a small ube cake, just like the one he’d bought on her birthday. That was sweet of him.
Then he stuck two candles in the cake, and her blood ran cold.
They weren’t ordinary birthday candles. No, they were sticks with pink wax hearts, the wicks on top of the hearts.
He pulled out a lighter and lit them.
“Nicole.” He took her hands in his. “I’ve very much enjoyed the time we’ve spent together, both in and out of bed, but I want more. I want to go on proper dates and say sappy things and talk about our future.” He paused. “To be honest, I had my doubts when you wanted to be friends with benefits, because I already had a crush on you. I told myself I could do what you wanted, but it turns out I can’t. You’re amazing, and I love you.”
Nicole was speechless.
“You’re serious?” she said at last.
“Of course. I wouldn’t say those things if I wasn’t.”
She couldn’t help it; she burst into hysterical laughter, even though she knew this was the wrong reaction. “I’m sorry. It’s just...this has never happened before.”