by Kayce Kyle
All three of them, Justice, my mom, and Ty are all hovering over me questioning me all at once. I just cover my face and shake my head. “I can’t,” I’m able to say through my breakdown.
“You can’t what, baby?” Justice’s hold on me now a bit tighter.
I cannot speak, I cannot verbalize in this moment, yet that is lost in translation as they fawn over me like a fragile piece of ancient china that will break.
“How’s it going in here?” Dr. Cole’s voice echoes throughout the room as she washes her hands. “I’ve brought in Dr. Preston, he’s an OBGYN. He’s going to perform an ultrasound.”
I remove my hands from my face and notice a tall middle aged man, and he introduces himself as he pulls some machine with a computer screen attached to it behind him.
I begin to feel anxious as everyone is looking at him, and then me like we’re some sort of performers and they’re expecting the grand finale.
Justice stands and I know his nerves and guard go up immediately, especially considering this is a male. I reach out and feel for his hand until ours find each other, letting him know we are in this together.
“This process is minimally invasive, but it is transvaginal,” Dr. Preston says.
Justice’s hand squeezes mine tighter until I grunt out at the discomfort. “Excuse me, a trans what? I know I heard the word vagina or some shit in there. Not sure what you are trying to do here, but you won’t be touching her anywhere near…that…what I just said,” Justice snaps at the doctor.
I fake a little laugh and it pains my side to do so cutting it short. “You’ll have to excuse him.” I bat Justice’s hand with mine. “I think we are both just a little confused as to what you just said. We are new to this whole pregnancy and baby thing.”
The poor doctor looks frightened now due to Justice’s obvious stature and tone. I guess a classy doctor like him who wears a suit and tie, and probably thinks tattoos only belong on thugs, would be intimidated.
Suddenly, he pulls out this long looking sex toy that he is calling a wand, with a supersized condom on it. “This is a wand-we insert it into your…”
“That’s it, buddy!” Justice leaps over the bed and snatches him up by his white coat. “Take that fucking thing, shove it up your own ass, and keep it and your perverted self away from my girl!”
Ty grabs Justice as my mom and I watch this play out like a horror show right in front of us, and Dr. Cole is backed up in a corner near the sink.
“Let him go, man,” Ty says to Justice.
“Let him go, babe,” I chime in as I see most of the color drain from the doctor’s face and the sweat beads on his forehead are now visible.
“Find a fucking woman doctor if you are gonna do all of that bullshit,” Justice demands, looking down at the torture instrument known as a wand, then back up at the doctor before releasing him.
“It’s all very normal, honestly.” My mom throws out there.
The doctor retreats quickly, stumbling on his way out as if he couldn’t get out quick enough.
“It may be fucking normal, but no man is sticking that fucking thing anywhere in, or near my girl,” Justice snaps at my mom.
“S-so, we prefer a female OBGYN I take it?” Dr. Cole asks looking at Justice first, then me.
“Yes, please,” I say.
“Should that even be a question?” Justice growls, his patience, what’s left of it, hanging on by a mere thread.
Justice
Finally, we have been moved into a regular room and that alone has me breathing more easily. Doctor likes-to-perv-a lot is no longer around and we are awaiting the next one to be sent in.
Jen is antsy as patience has never been a strong suit of hers, or mine, but I feel pained for my babygirl because she just wants to see Pres. Hell, I do too. I feel like a complete piece of shit considering the weight of this whole situation is lying on my shoulders. Like a brick fucking house has taken up permanent residency on both my heart, and shoulders. So far, neither Jen or anyone else for that matter has really lashed out at me, but a part of me wishes they would. I deserve it, I couldn’t keep either of them from those pieces of shit.
Both Lorna and Ty have gone back with the others, and Ace had made a few visits. Each time, he and Jen try to contact Tess unsuccessfully. That fact alone, has left them both tortured and pained. Hell, I wanna know what the hell happened and if she’s okay. Right now, our focus is on Jen and our Pres. I know Ace only spent about a month with Tess, but he fell hard for the girl from Cali. Even though their time together was brief, I can relate to the loss inside he must be feeling. My brother has never shown feelings for any woman. I can probably fucking count how many women that fucker’s ever even been with. I think since he was the oldest and had the most time with our mom, he holds back where women are concerned. Almost as if he’s afraid to an extent, because he’ll lose them like our dad did. Oddly enough, he took an immediate liking to Tess, and I honestly thought it was a matter of time before she’d move here permanently. Poor fucking bastard. She had her fun, and just up and left. Her timing was suspect in all honesty, but Tess was slowly gaining my trust. Not to mention the fun she and Jen had for those weeks we were free from the club lockdown.
So many things need to be resolved right now, and I’m in a big fucking hurry to wait I suppose, because it’s all I can do at the moment.
I look over at my babygirl and realize just how damn strong she truly is and I can’t help but smile as I watch her dig into the first solid meal she’s had in days. They brought her in something they called chicken, and the smell alone made her nauseous, so I set it back outside. She expressed her desire for a nice big juicy steak and potatoes, and a piece of lemon meringue pie. Vault just happened to be here, so he offered to go get her whatever she wanted, after he assured me Littlejohn was being carefully watched still by Demon.
As she finishes off her meal in record time, I notice her scraping the meringue off the top of the pie causing me to tilt my head out of curiosity and she notices.
“What? I like the filling and the crust, I just don’t like the texture of meringue. Oh my god, babe. It’s so good,” she says as she closes her eyes and I notice an all too familiar look on her face. “You want a bite?” she asks.
I know this is the wrong place and time, but I’m fucking jealous of that damn pie right now. She’s enjoying it far too much and my dick begins its swelling in my jeans, its most natural state when we’re even in the same room. Maybe healing and a sense of normality really are just right around the corner. After adjusting myself and attempting to think of anything but my Jenalyn, my cock begins its submission.
“No, baby. I ate while you napped earlier. I’m full and content just watching you enjoy your first solid meal in days.” I get up and place a kiss on her full cheek.
She swallows that last bite, and pouts her bottom lip. “You are just being nice to me because I’m pregnant,” she begins to cry, catching me off guard.
Leaving me completely lost and confused, I have zero clue how to react to her right now.
I swallow hard not knowing what to say, and if it will make her cry more, or assure whatever it is she’s lacking right now. I sit next to her on the bed. “Not true at all, baby. I’m just happy you are doing better and are finally having a solid meal. You can have whatever you want.” I place my hand on her belly. “Both of you.” I lean down and plant a soft kiss on her stomach. “You just focus on getting better, and feeding little Justice whatever he wants.”
She practically throws the fork on the plate, and her cry worsens. “So, if it’s not little Justice, you’re gonna be disappointed and hate me forever.”
I silently beg inside for someone to come in here and help me, help change the subject, anything. I run my hands through my hair. “No, babygirl. I love this little baby more than anything. I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, so long as he or she is happy and healthy.” I entwine my fingers with hers hoping I’ve spoken the words she’s needing to he
ar, only the tears keep flowing, and I become panicked.
“You only love the baby now,” she says through her sob.
Inwardly I’m tortured as I have no clue how to fix what I’ve apparently done. The more I console her, the worse it seems to get. Fuck, I am so confused right now.
A clearing of the throat noise is made and we both turn to see my pops standing in the doorway. He offers Jen a smile first before summoning me to the hallway.
“I’ll be right back, baby,” I say unsure if that will cause further emotions. Hell, I don’t even know how to comfort her right now, so I fidget around trying to leave her with physical contact. Only I end up patting her gently on the head.
Making my way towards my pops, I instantly question my gesture. Did I really just pat my girl, my everything on the head like a fucking little puppy? Oh, I need a god damned drink. I’m perspiring like a little bitch right now.
Frantic, I grab my pops’ cut. “Help me, please. You have to help me.” I look back at Jen who is still crying and blowing her nose. “I know Lorna’s told everyone that Jenalyn’s pregnant considering all the congrats we’ve received. Something is happening to her, I think she’s having a mental breakdown Pops. Everything I say, everything I do, it only makes her cry.”
My pops removes my hands from his cut. “First of all, wipe all that damn sweat from your forehead, Son.” He hands me a rag and I do so. “Secondly, this is all very fucking normal. Sure, some of it is from everything else going on, but when a woman is pregnant, they are the devil incarnate. One minute they’re all giddy and laughing, the next, you’ve done something wrong. All it takes is a look they misinterpret, and you are fucked. I saw you struggling, and I just wanted to tell you that it’s not always something you’ve done, Son. Just be there for her, that’s all you really can do.”
“So basically, you are saying I’m fucked either way and to just suck it up? Well, I am so glad we had this talk Dr. Phil. I’m suddenly feeling so much more at ease,” I say with heavy sarcasm.
“Don’t get pissed at me. It’s only for a few months, and they will fly by, and the first time you hold your son or daughter, it will all have been worth it,” my pops replies.
“I guess.” I shrug. “How’s Pres?”
My pops blows out a deep heavy sigh. “Still hanging in there, they are gonna start reducing his meds, like they did with Jenalyn a bit later. Keep your fingers crossed, Son. That man is not just our Pres, but he’s been my best friend since we were teenagers.” He looks in at Jenalyn. “He finally has his daughter back, and a grandbaby on the way. He’ll be so proud.”
“We are waiting on a doctor now, you know one that deals with pregnant women, and then I know that will be the first place Jen will want to go. It’s all she’s been talking about.” I tell him.
My pops just places his hand on my shoulder. “Okay, Son. I think just hearing her voice could help him. You know how he is about his Princess. Hope everything is good with the baby, Son. He or she truly is a fighter, definitely stubborn like his parents,” my pops says.
Leaning his head in the door, he says, “Congrats, Jen. Y’all have a lot to be thankful for.”
She shakes her head in agreement and then continues to cry.
“Oh, boy. Gotta get back to Pres. See you later, Son.” my pops says leaving me on my own, and hesitant to go back in the room.
Chapter 23
Jenalyn
I’m honestly feeling much better now. We saw a new doctor named Dr. Sessions. She was amazing, and explained my erratic emotions are very normal, although I don’t think Justice found very much comfort in that. I feel badly about it all, but it’s like I can’t even control myself. We had that ultrasound done and we got to see our baby, or what will be our baby. It honestly just looked like a tiny dot on the screen, but we did see a tiny little flicker which Dr. Sessions explained was the baby’s heartbeat. She even turned on sound and we were able to hear the swooshing sound it made. Of course, I cried, and Justice patted my head again which in turn resulted in me snapping at him, then later apologizing. We also got a picture of our baby, our little dot as I call him or her for now.
I cannot stop staring at our little dot. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that my heart perpetually skips beats every damn time I look at it. We certainly hadn’t planned this, but seeing that little baby we made together fighting like a champ, has given me a surge of strength I feel I need to see my dad in the condition he’s in.
I can do this, and I will. My baby deserves to know its grandfather, and he in turn, deserves to know his grandbaby. Maybe, just maybe, this will see him through the fight for his life.
As I clutch the picture of our baby, Ty comes in. “He’s waking up.”
Relief and excitement course through my veins. “Jus, grab me a wheelchair, babe. I wanna see my daddy.”
I can visit him, but I’m still too weak to walk that far and ride an elevator, or so the doctor says.
Once I’m finally settled into the wheelchair, we begin our journey upstairs. One floor above where I had come from. I’m holding the newest member of the club and our family in my belly, and my hands.
I hear Justice let out a little chuckle. “What?” I ask him.
“You’re never letting that picture go, are you babe?” he replies.
“Not anytime soon, and not until our little dot is safe and sound in my arms,” I answer.
We enter a waiting area as we exit the elevator and it reeks even worse than my floor of pure sterilization. My heart leaps into my throat, and I can already feel the fear of seeing my daddy laying helpless in a hospital bed threatening to take over.
I try to speak to the nurse through the glass window, but cannot manage to get the words out.
Ty takes notice and speaks for me. “This is Jenalyn Strong. Leonard Donald Strong’s daughter.”
The nurse looks down at her desk and some papers. “Okay, but only two at a time, and there are currently two people in there. Let me go tell them you are here.”
The three of us thank her in unison, and patiently wait.
Justice
I know I’m about to have no choice but to let Jen out of my sight while she visits Pres, and I already feel the uneasiness creeping in. I blow out a deep breath trying to calm myself and Jen reaches behind and rests her hand on top of mine. She knows this is hard for me, we are one and can just sense, and feel the others’ emotions.
“It’s gonna be okay, babe.” She looks behind her, and up at me. “We’re actually sneaking three people in.” She winks at me as she holds up the ultrasound picture.
I can’t help but let out a laugh at her uncanny ability to find strength for the both of us with a splash of humor.
“I know, baby.” I lean down and for the first time in a while our lips make actual contact, and damn does it feel good. Until now, I hadn’t even been aware of how badly I needed that connection.
“Okay, the other gentleman is coming out, so you can go back as soon as he comes out,” the nurse says looking at Jen.
My pops comes out and Lorna is standing right there with him holding the door.
“Help me up, Jus will you?” Jen asks me.
“Now? I don’t know, babe…”
“Justice Paine, either help me, or watch. Your call, but I do not want my daddy seeing me in a damn wheelchair. I’ve rode most of the way up here-I feel like I can make it a few feet to wherever he is back there.” Jenalyn stops me and asserts herself.
“It really isn’t that far, and Don is barely awake. He has no clue about Jenalyn being shot obviously, but it’s your call sweetheart,” Lorna says.
I rub my eye and eventually rub my hand around my mouth due to my frustration. “Just please don’t over exert yourself baby, please,” I ask her and then look at the picture she’s clutching reminding her of the importance of our baby also.
I help her stand and Ty and my pops lend a helping hand until we know she’s steady.
She looks at me and smi
les. “Promise.”
We help her walk to Lorna, but she seems pretty steady, and I find comfort in that at least.
“I’ll help her from here. Thanks guys,” Lorna says as she takes Jen’s arm and the door shuts behind them.
I feel almost ridiculous for even having the slightest bit of fear. We are in a hospital for Christ’s sake, but the last time I let my guard down the tiniest bit, I almost lost my entire reason for even breathing.
I pace this tiny waiting room, and my pops and Ty try to convince me to go have a smoke. I resist at first, but eventually succumb when Joker walks in and agrees to sit vigil until we come back.
Jenalyn
It’s a short walk from the door to my father’s room, but it feels like an eternity. Not because I’m in pain or feeling weak, but because I am digging very deep inside to prepare myself for this. I have to stay strong, not only for my father, but for this baby growing inside of me.
“Right here, sweetheart. He isn’t saying much right now as his voice is nearly gone and he’s still pretty weak,” my mom says.
I exhale an extremely large breath before I even take my first look, reminding myself that other people are counting on me now. I place my hand on my belly before entering.
Seeing the strongest, bravest man I’ve ever known laying there in that bed pale, and fragile instantly shreds my heart and pierces my soul. The amount of energy I’m expending fighting back tears proves to be too much and I begin to wobble. My mom instantly takes notice and helps me into a seat next to my daddy.
The pounding in my chest never ceases until my daddy very slowly turns his head toward me. “P-princess,” he says in a barely there and extremely hoarse voice.
“Hi, Daddy,” I reply, but am no longer able to control the steady stream of tears down my cheeks. Each one feels heavy as a rock as they land individually on my shirt.
Not turning his head away from me, he turns his eyes toward my mom. “T-tell,” he pauses and I can tell he is frustrated at his inability to speak fluently, but after a moment he finishes, “Her…no,” he then looks back at me and moves his hand very slowly, but in my direction.