by Shana Norris
“I’m DJing tomorrow night,” I said. “I’m doing this fundraiser party for a church.”
“Awesome,” Paisley said, her eyes lighting up. Relief rushed through me—I couldn’t stand to get grilled about guys any longer. “I bet it’s a lot of fun, huh? How does it all work? All that equipment? It looks complicated, with all those buttons everywhere.”
“It’s really not complicated at all. I can give you a quick tutorial, if you want.”
I didn’t know what it was, but for the first time since she’d arrived, I actually felt some kind of connection to my cousin. She wasn’t annoying me and she didn’t seem hopelessly immature for once.
Paisley grinned. “I’d love to. Maybe I can start a DJ business of my own when I get back to Atlanta. Or maybe I could take over your business while you’re busy with college and all! DJ P-Watts. Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”
I laughed along with her, enjoying the warmth that spread through me.
Chapter 18
The next night, I loaded my car for the DJ gig I’d mentioned to Paisley—the church fundraiser party. My equipment was in the backseat, my playlist perfectly planned for a church, and my bag was stocked with cans of soda and M&Ms, just in case the party hosts didn’t let me eat from the cake table (it happened sometimes).
The unusual thing I had with me that night? My cousin Paisley, seated in the passenger seat of my car. And I was even the one who had suggested that she come along with me to the party.
We talked and laughed as I drove across town toward the Baptist church where the party would be. Paisley talked about her friends back home in Atlanta, and I talked about my excitement and nervousness about starting college.
“Well, if you need someone to remind you of home and family, I’ll fly up to see you any time.”
I smiled at Paisley before turning back to face the road. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”
When we got to the party, Paisley helped me drag my equipment into the venue. Piece by piece, I explained to her how everything worked.
“So how much does equipment like this cost?” she asked as we finished the setup.
“A lot,” I said. “Too much for me. I’m renting most of it. I’d like to get my own someday, but …” I shrugged. “Not gonna happen right now, unfortunately.”
Paisley cringed, but then tossed her hair back and smiled. “Maybe I can sweet talk my dad into buying it for me,” she said, laughing.
The party started and people filled the fellowship hall of the little church. It was a dinner and music night, and a few couples were already swaying in each other’s arms on the dance floor. I’d stuck to mostly Christian bands for the playlist, with a few other mainstream songs that I thought were acceptable to throw in. No bad words, no talk about sex or drugs, no violence.
It had been harder than I’d expected to find songs that wouldn’t offend anyone.
But everyone seemed to be okay with the selection so far. I queued up the next group of songs just as I spotted Rory paying the five-dollar admission fee to get in.
“Hey,” he said when he reached our DJ corner. His green eyes scanned the room, his mouth curling into a sarcastic smile. “Looks like a killer party.”
I laughed. “It’s really getting out of control around here. I might have to tone down the music.” Rory found a chair and pulled it up next to me, his arm brushing mine as he sat down, sending shivers through me.
“Nah, let them get a little wild,” he said. “No harm in having some fun.” He looked past me at Paisley on my other side. “Hey, Paisley. Didn’t expect to see you here.”
I winced. I still hadn’t asked him about what Ashton had said.
Paisley shrugged. “Kate invited me to hang out with her tonight. She’s showing me how to be a DJ.”
“That’s great,” Rory said. “Maybe we could all be Kate’s DJ posse. We’ll go out and turn Mega Watts DJ Service into a national team.” He grinned at me and winked.
“I don’t know if I’m ready for that much exposure just yet,” I said. “I still have college to think about.”
“I think us girls can handle it on our own,” Paisley told him in a tight voice.
“I know you can,” Rory responded. He leaned toward me, bumping his arm against mine. “Kate is awesome. She can handle anything.”
The party had kicked into full gear around us—as full gear as a church party could get, anyway. Someone’s grandparents were dancing while most of the other guests sat at tables talking or hovered around the buffet table.
“We need some more energy in here,” Paisley said, her eyes scanning the crowd. “We need to show these people how to really party.”
“What do you suggest?” I asked her.
Paisley jumped to her feet. “Come on, Rory, let’s dance. We’ll get everyone moving.”
Rory shook his head. “You go on without me.”
Paisley crossed her arms over her chest, pouting. “You’re not going to make me go out on the dance floor all by myself, are you? Can’t you dance just one song with me?”
I glanced at Rory quickly, looking for any sign of emotion on his face. “I’ll sit this one out,” he said. “You go ahead and show everyone else how it’s done.”
Paisley pouted again, but then she shrugged and headed off toward the dance floor where a few others were dancing. I watched her pull a white-haired man onto the dance floor and laughed.
“Looks like she finally found a good dancer,” I said.
“See, she’ll dance with anyone!” Rory waved to them on the dance floor. The tension in my chest broke—Ashton must have been seeing things.
“I picked up something for you yesterday,” I said, feeling suddenly shy and nervous. What if he hated it? Or what if it makes him think I got too serious too soon?
“You did?” Rory asked, raising his eyebrows. “What is it?”
I pulled the guitar strap out of the messenger bag and handed it over to Rory. “It’s not much. Just a little something I thought you might like …” Rory took the gift and opened it carefully. He grinned as he peeled back the paper and saw the black strap swirled with red, yellow, and gray.
“This is awesome!” He turned the strap over in his hands to look at the front and back. “Kate, you didn’t have to get me anything.”
“I know,” I said. “But I wanted to.”
Rory rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. “Now I feel bad that I didn’t get you anything, too.”
I shook my head. “It’s okay. You just hanging out with me while I work is enough.”
My eyes met Rory’s and it was as if the rest of the room and the people in it just fizzled out. I wanted to kiss him again—and keep kissing him. Rory’s head moved closer to mine, making my heart pound louder in my ears until I could barely hear the music. Our lips touched, just a soft brush that sent a tingle through me.
But we weren’t alone. Loud laughter from a group of people standing nearby reminded me of that. I blinked, pulling back just a little and trying to get my heartbeat back to normal.
“So, that’s not all I have for you,” I told him. “I went to Charlotte yesterday to talk to my dad.”
Rory tilted his head to the side. “That’s … good? But what does your dad have to do with me?” he asked.
“Well,” I said, taking a breath. “My dad’s brother Mark is dean of the business economics department at UNC-Greensboro. And I thought that since you’re having trouble deciding what you want to do with your future, maybe you could benefit from talking to him. He might even be able to help you apply to UNC and decide on a major. So he agreed to meet with you at his office, on the same day as my interview.”
I beamed, but Rory’s face turned stony.
“I mean,” I said quickly, “it’s just a talk. It would be a good opportunity for you, talking with someone who could give you some guidance—”
Rory held up his hand to stop me. “So you thought you’d step in and decide what I should do, since
I don’t seem to be able to make my own mind up.”
“What?” Heat flushed up my neck and cheeks. “No, that’s not it.”
“Then what?” Rory asked. His eyes flashed and he ran a hand quickly through his hair. “Because it sounds like you’re acting exactly like my brother, thinking you have to dictate what I do with my own life.”
“I just wanted to help—”
“Why?” Rory snapped. “Because if I don’t go to college, I’m not good enough for you?”
I shook my head. “No. I just wanted to do something nice for you. To help you figure out what you wanted to do.”
“Maybe I don’t need your help figuring out what I want to do,” Rory said. “Maybe I’m capable of making my own decisions.”
Fury raced through me as I scowled back at him. “Oh, like you made the decision to hang out at Lacy’s on Wednesday night?”
His face went slack. “Who told you that?”
“Someone who wouldn’t lie to me,” I said.
“Whoever said that doesn’t know what they’re talking about,” Rory muttered, turning away from me and staring out at the dance floor. Paisley bounced around, shaking her hips and trying to show some of the older ladies how to dance. Which gave me an idea.
“Paisley told me,” I said. “Because I know she was there, too.” Rory didn’t say anything else, he just sat back in his chair, looking at me with a strange mix of anger and apology. My chest felt suddenly heavy, like it was cracking.
“I just forgot to mention—” he started.
“What have you forgotten to mention? That you’re interested in my cousin?” I was practically shouting. Rory’s face turned sour.
“Would it make you feel better if I tell you I’m not interested in anyone?”
I sat back, feeling as if his words had slapped me. Was I just some random summer fling he could have his fun with before he went back home and forgot all about me?
“I’m going home,” Rory said, pushing himself up from the metal folding chair so hard that it skittered across the floor.
I looked him up and down as my heart broke in my chest, willing myself not to cry. I wouldn’t let him see how much his words had hurt me. If I didn’t mean anything to him, then he wouldn’t mean anything to me either.
“I’ll see you around,” he said. With that, Rory turned and headed toward the door, leaving me alone with my DJ equipment.
At least I hadn’t let myself go any further than a couple of kisses with Rory. That was the only thing I could be thankful for in that moment.
At home, I couldn’t settle down and get to bed, even though the house was quiet. An hour after Rory left the party, Paisley had skipped up to the booth and told me she was going to the movies with a few bored girls she met. I didn’t bother to ask her about what Ashton saw, or to really speak to her at all. I didn’t know if I could handle the truth. Frustration ran through me—I typed at least twenty messages to Rory and deleted them all.
I needed to talk to someone … not Ashton, not Paisley. Definitely not Pop.
So I texted Miguel, then drove down to the valley where he and his friends were having the bonfire. I didn’t know for sure if I really did want to see him. I just knew that I couldn’t keep sitting at home running the night’s events over and over in my head.
The party was in full swing as I walked down the dirt path into the valley. It was a popular spot for high school bonfires. The fire raged high against the black night sky and people congregated around it in groups, some loud and wobbly with a few beers.
I walked through the crowd a while before I spotted Miguel near a keg. He held a red cup in one hand while he talked, waving his free hand around a lot, and nearly smacking a guy standing next to him in the face. I pushed through people until I was at his side.
“Hey,” I called over the music and voices around us.
Miguel’s eyes lit up and he smiled wide as he looked at me. “Hey, you made it. I didn’t think you’d come.”
“I didn’t either,” I told him. “But here I am.” I didn’t want to get into specifics about the night’s events.
“The kid in the flannel isn’t with you?” he asked, looking around in mock terror.
“Nope,” I said.
“Let’s get you a drink,” Miguel said, gesturing to one of his friends at the keg.
I wasn’t a huge fan of beer, but I could handle a little bit, especially if I needed something to chase my thoughts away. Once I had a cup in my hands, Miguel put his hand gently on my shoulder and we walked off together, leaving his friends behind as we made our way through the crowd. Some people from my grade pulled me into a quick hug as I passed by, but I kept close to Miguel’s side.
The fire, the laughter, the playful shouting, the hand against my back in a sea of people: I wanted to pause the summer and keep it just where it was for as long as I could.
“You okay?” Miguel asked. We had walked away to the edge of the tree line, away from the people and the bonfire and music. It was quieter here, the sounds behind us muffled a bit, and it felt like we were alone.
“I don’t know,” I told him. “I’m not having a very good night.”
He rubbed his hand up and down my back, like he used to whenever I was stressed about school. “Anything I can do to help?”
I smiled up at him. “Just being here with you is helping,” I said, even though I wasn’t sure if that were true.
We walked in silence for a little while, listening to the rustling trees and the party behind us. It felt like old times.
“Why does life have to change so much?” I asked. “Why can’t things just keep going on as they always have?”
“Maybe they can,” Miguel said. “If people want that badly enough.”
His hand enclosed around mine, sending a tingle of electricity through me. His skin was rough, but his touch was gentle. I turned to face him; he pressed his forehead into mine and I closed my eyes, listening to the crickets sing around us.
Nature’s music, I remembered Rory saying.
I pushed his name out of my mind, trying to focus on the nearness of Miguel’s body. It was as if those months and miles apart hadn’t changed anything at all between us. This was still the same Miguel I’d always known, the same sweet guy who had won my heart for those eight months last year.
“I’ve missed you, Kate,” Miguel whispered, his free hand reaching up to cup my cheek. I leaned into his touch.
“I missed you,” I told him. I stepped closer. I had missed this. I didn’t need a boyfriend, but I couldn’t deny how good it felt to be wanted and loved.
And then his lips were on mine, his mouth eager. He pulled me close into him, and his hands explored my back, my hips, while my hands explored his chest. His fingers slipped under the hem of my shirt, warm on my bare skin.
This was what I wanted, what I needed. I wanted Rory to hold me like this, to kiss me this deeply—
I stepped back, pushing myself away from Miguel. He blinked at me, his eyes dazed from our kiss. “What’s wrong?” he asked. His lips were red in the starlit night and he breathed heavily.
“I’m sorry,” I said, shaking my head. “I should … I should go.”
“Kate—” But I didn’t wait to hear what Miguel would say. Before I could change my mind, I left Miguel in the trees as I raced out of the valley and away from the bonfire.
Chapter 19
“Where do I see myself in five years? Well, that’s a great question. I—”
My phone buzzed across the top of my dresser as I practiced my interview speech again. I glanced down, a jolt of surprise surging through me at the name on the screen. Other than a few texts from Ashton, my phone had been silent for two days, ever since the night of the bonfire where I’d made out with Miguel.
Except now, Rory was calling me. I straightened my shoulders, clenching my teeth hard as I turned my thoughts back toward the notes on the index cards in my hand. I didn’t want to talk to him after he had insulted me, lied to
me, and ignored me for the last two days. I hated to be reminded that our kiss had meant nothing to him, that I’d been an idiot to drive to Charlotte just to do something nice for a guy who didn’t really like me as much as I’d thought.
I didn’t need Rory.
Even though I’d had a chance at a summer fling with Miguel and then had ruined it because my head couldn’t stop thinking about Rory.
Some of the note cards slipped from my hands as my phone buzzed again, and I let out a frustrated sigh. Mimi had taken Pop to a doctor’s appointment, but Paisley was home.
Another minute of buzzing and then the phone went silent. I waited to see if he might leave a voice mail or send a text, but there was nothing. I picked up my note cards and flipped back to the start of the speech.
Outside my door, I heard footsteps thump down the hall. Paisley must have finally emerged from her room, probably in search of food. At least my phone wasn’t buzzing anymore.
Returning to my speech, I let out a long breath as I studied my reflection in the mirror. I had only days left until my interview, and I still hadn’t mastered the speech, though I had gotten a lot better. I’d poured every ounce of focus and energy I had into my practice these last two days. The speech ran through my head constantly. I dreamed about it at night, dreamed about practicing for hours on end and then making an idiot of myself at the interview when I couldn’t remember anything I wanted to say at all.
Once I had stumbled through the speech what had to be one thousand times, I stepped back, twisting my blonde hair into a knot at the back of my head. Whether I got the scholarship or not, I’d be so happy once the interview was over and I could forget this speech. My back ached, my feet ached, my eyes ached, my head ached. Almost every bit of me ached, and what didn’t ache was sick and tired of hearing this speech.
A car door slammed outside and I checked my phone for the time. Mimi and Pop must have come home earlier than they had expected they would.
I padded into the living room just in time to see the front door open and Paisley stumble in—with a bloody, groaning Rory propped up next to her, his right arm slung around her shoulder. Bloody patches covered his face, his bottom lip was open and oozing, and the skin around his left eye was already turning black. He breathed heavily.