by Shana Norris
Paisley’s frown deepened, her chin sinking into her chest. “Billy and I haven’t gotten along very well the last few years. I knew once he found out, he’d react the way he did. I can’t do anything right in his eyes. I’m a complete screw up.”
She wiped at a tear that had slipped down her cheek. “I guess he’s right, though. Look at the mess I’ve gotten myself into now.” She looked at me with wide, terrified eyes. “I’m really scared, Kate. I don’t know what to do. Should I have this baby or not? You’ve always been so smart and collected. I’ve always looked up to you. Whatever you think I should do, I’ll do it.”
I sat back in the blue chair, my mouth hanging open as I took in Paisley’s words. She looked up to me? I didn’t feel smart or collected, and I made my share of mistakes. Just look at the mess I’d caused with Rory and Paisley.
“I don’t know,” I told her. “It’s not my decision to make. I can’t tell you what to do. I don’t even know what I would do if I were in your situation.”
A lock of auburn hair fell in front of her face, blocking her eyes from me as she looked down at the small swell of her stomach. “If I have the baby, I don’t know that I can raise it,” she said quietly. “I can’t imagine being a mom right now. There are other girls I know who’ve had babies, and I’ve heard them talk about how hard it is. I’m not ready for that. I still have so much I want to do before I become a mom, you know?”
I moved over to the bed, sitting on the edge of the mattress next to her. “If you decide to give the baby up, he or she will understand one day.” All of the anger I’d felt toward Andrea melted as I looked at the fear and sadness in Paisley’s eyes. Everything she went through back then was pasted on Paisley’s face. “It will be hard at times, for both of you, and the baby may go through some anger. But one day, you can explain why you made that choice. And it may still take some time, but one day he or she will get it. I promise.”
Tears brimmed along Paisley’s lash lines. “Thank you, Kate,” she said. She sniffled and sat up straighter in the bed. “Andrea wants to adopt the baby, if I decide to give it up.”
My eyebrows shot up. “She does?”
Paisley nodded. “She said she’s ready to be a mom now, and she’s tired of waiting for the right guy. She just got a promotion, so she says she’ll be better off financially and can buy everything the baby needs. And Mimi will babysit while Andrea works. So …” She shrugged and looked at me with a worried smile. “She just wanted to make sure you’d be okay with it first. She didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”
This information shocked me. I hadn’t thought Andrea was interested in ever being a mom.
“No,” I said at last. “If Andrea wants to adopt the baby, I’m all for it. I’ve had a good life. I want the same for your baby—a good, happy life, full of love.”
Paisley leaned forward, pulling me into a tight hug. “Thank you, Kate,” she whispered.
A guy stood outside Paisley’s door when I opened it a few minutes later. He was tall, with shaggy brown hair and dark brown eyes. He stood with his hands deep in the pockets of his baggy jeans.
“Hey,” he said. “I’m Jeremy. Paisley’s … boyfriend?” He didn’t sound very sure of what exactly he was. “Is she awake?”
I nodded. “Yeah, she is.”
He shuffled one shoe back and forth over the gray tile floor. “Is she … okay?”
“She’s better,” I told him. “She and the baby are both okay. You can go in and talk to her if you want.”
He looked at the door for a moment, then nodded and stepped past me into the room. I closed the door quietly behind him, hoping that Paisley and Jeremy could come to a decision that worked best for both of them.
I found the rest of the family sitting in the waiting room just down the hall from Paisley’s room. Billy was back, sitting in a chair with his head bent down over his phone, tapping away at the screen. He barely looked up as I entered the room.
“You should have heard my mom and dad’s reaction when I called them,” he said, his eyes wide. “They are so PO’ed. Paisley’s going to have a lot of answering to do when they get here.”
I clenched my fists at my sides as anger and regret raced through me. I shouldn’t have called Billy and told him Paisley’s secret. She should have been able to do that herself, when she was ready. It wasn’t my place to tell on her, and I hated that I’d caused her so much pain by calling Billy.
“Paisley needs people to love and help her,” I said through clenched teeth as I scowled back at my cousin. “She doesn’t need you telling her what she’s done wrong in her life. Now she needs support, not a lecture.”
“She’s still in high school and she’s gotten herself pregnant,” Billy said, staring up at me with a shocked look on his face. “She’s messed up big time. This isn’t something we can just overlook.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “I know that. I don’t expect everyone to forget about it. But she’s terrified and needs love and support from her family. If you’re really her big brother, you’d understand that and help her.”
“You’ve made your own share of mistakes, Billy,” Pop piped up from the corner. “What about the time you cheated on your old girlfriend, Beth, with that girl who had moved in next door?”
Billy’s face turned red, but then he rolled his eyes. “I’m going to get some chips. Anyone want anything?”
Mimi, Pop, and Andrea all shook their heads without answering. Pop had a smug little smile on his face. Once Billy had left the room, Andrea turned to Pop.
“Wow,” she said. “You told him.” A spark of laughter shone in her eyes and her mouth curled into a grin.
I sighed as I collapsed into a chair across from them. “Thank goodness. He was getting on my nerves, acting like he’s better than everyone else.” Not even Billy Watts could have been absolutely perfect all the time.
Andrea let out a laugh. “I agree, he needed someone to put him in his place.”
“Well,” Mimi said, a worried look on her face, “I don’t like it when you kids argue like that. You should both apologize to each other later—Oh!” She gasped suddenly as she looked at me. “Kate! Weren’t you supposed to be at your interview in Greensboro today?”
I bent my head, running one finger over the seam at the hem of my skirt. “Well, actually, I …” I took a deep breath and then looked up at Mimi and Pop. “I don’t want to major in math. I like math and all, but it’s not my favorite thing in the world. I’d really rather study music, work behind the scenes on producing it.” I spoke fast, trying to get all the words out before I could chicken out. “I’m sorry. I know you guys were counting on me to get that scholarship to make things easier on you, but I just couldn’t do it. I’ll figure it out, I promise. I’ll get a job after classes and on weekends so I can help with the tuition. I’ll apply for tons of grants and scholarships, whatever I can find—”
Pop tutted softly, smiling that warm, soft smile of his that always made me feel better whenever I was sick or hurt as a kid. “Katie-bug, it’s okay. Your grandmother and I don’t want you to be stuck studying something you don’t want to study. We want you to follow your dreams. Don’t feel that you have to do anything just to make us happy.”
I twisted a strand of hair around my finger. “But it’s going to cost you a lot of money to pay my tuition. I know you’re already stretched thin. I want to help.”
“We’ll figure it out,” Mimi assured me, reaching forward to squeeze my hand.
“I can help,” Andrea offered. “I did just get that raise.”
I looked at her, one eyebrow raised high. “Just how much of a raise are we talking about here? You sound like you’re rolling in the dough now.”
Andrea laughed. “Not that big of a raise, but enough. I have money to spare for my family.”
I smiled back at her as she smiled at me.
Later that day, I stepped out from the hospital into the cloudy late afternoon. Looking up at the gray puffs that f
illed the sky over the mountains and hills around us, I didn’t feel annoyed about the mugginess that hung in the air. I felt good, happy. I felt hopeful about what was to come and excited about the next few weeks in which I would be packing up and moving to Greensboro to begin the next four years of my life.
It had been a long, crazy, eventful summer.
“Hey,” said a voice to my left.
I turned, jumping a little to find Rory at my side. He wore a pressed polo shirt and nice gray pants. His spiky blonde hair was combed smooth, and he didn’t have an armful of twine and leather bracelets like he usually did. If it weren’t for the bright green eyes behind those thick-framed glasses, I might not have believed it was him. He could’ve passed for his older brother.
“Hey,” I answered.
We just stood there for a moment, looking at each other. People passed by, barely looking our way as they went about their business, in and out of the hospital.
I hitched my messenger bag higher up on my shoulder and played with the dangling buckle on the front. “I, um, went by your house earlier, but you weren’t there.”
Rory ducked his head, nodding. “Yeah. I was in Greensboro. I just got back.”
I tilted my head to the side as I shot him a confused look. “Greensboro?”
“I met with your uncle. You said it was the same day as your audition, so I showed up at his office. Three hours early.”
A jolt of surprise and happiness shot through me. “Really? How’d it go?”
“Good, I think,” Rory said. “I mean, I’m not getting into UNC-G this semester or anything, but we at least talked about my options and where I could go from here. I’m going to apply to a community college and start classes this fall. Then later I’ll look into transferring to UNC-G. Your uncle said he’d help me out however he could. He’s a really nice guy.”
I didn’t know Uncle Mark well, but I was glad to hear that he’d offered to help Rory. “What made you decide to meet with him?” I asked. “You, um, didn’t seem too interested when I told you about it.”
His mouth deepened into a frown. “Yeah, sorry about that. I just … I’ve had so many people telling me what I should or shouldn’t do. My mom and now my brother. I didn’t want anyone else getting on me about whether I should go to school when I hadn’t even figured it out for myself.”
I cringed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—” Rory shook his head. “No, it’s okay. You were trying to help, I know that.” He reached up to run a hand over his hair. “What made me change my mind was my dad. And you.”
I waited for him to continue, my heart pounding against my chest.
“My dad is really messed up, Kate,” Rory said. “I didn’t want you to know just how much, but he’s into selling drugs, and he’s been in and out of jail. That’s who I had tried to go talk to that night your friends saw me at Lacy’s. And then how I was beat up—not by my dad, but by some friends of his. I guess I said some things they didn’t like. I went to go see him again this morning, but he was so messed up.” He looked at me. “It made me realize that I don’t want that for my life. I don’t want to do to my kids one day what he had done to me and my brother. So I drove to Greensboro.”
He shrugged a little as he smiled at me. “I still almost didn’t go into the meeting. I kept telling myself I was stupid, that I couldn’t pay to go to college anyway. But then I thought about you, and how determined you are to go after your dreams.” He stepped closer, our faces only inches apart. “You really inspire me, Kate. You won’t let anything stand in your way. I think that maybe some of your confidence rubbed off on me.”
I laughed, blinking back the tears that stung my eyes. “I’m not so confident. I mess up things all the time. You should hear everything I messed up since yesterday. I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time—”
“You know more than I do,” Rory said. Then he stepped forward again, pulling me toward him. Our lips met in a crushing kiss that made my knees tremble and electric sparks race up my spine. There was no doubt in my mind anymore that anything was going on between him and Paisley. Not with the way he kissed me right then.
When we finally parted, I let out a gasping breath. Rory looked just as dazed as I felt.
“Um,” I said, trying to steady the spinning thoughts whizzing through my brain. “I made something for you.”
He looked intrigued. “You did?”
I reached into my messenger bag, blushing a little as I pulled out the CD I had burned of the songs I’d mashed the night before when I hadn’t been able to sleep. On the front I’d written in Sharpie: Our Summer Soundtrack.
Now I felt silly giving it to Rory, but I couldn’t back down after I’d already mentioned it. So I offered it to him and said, “It’s just a few songs that made me think of you. And this summer. It’s stupid, I know, but it was fun to make.”
Rory grinned and waved the CD at me. “Let’s go for a drive and listen to it. I can’t wait to hear it. We can drive on the parkway or just around the block or whatever.”
I slipped my hand into his and said, “I’m up for anywhere you want to go.”
Chapter 27
DECEMBER
“Oh my gosh, she is adorable!” my friend Hannah Cohen squealed. She leaned down, reaching out a finger. “Look at those cheeks! And those tiny fingers.”
“My ovaries are aching just looking at her,” Hannah’s Aunt Lydia said.
I laughed as I cuddled the little pink-wrapped bundle in my arms. “She is pretty cute.”
The baby in my arms yawned wide, blinking her blue eyes before settling back into sleep. Caitlin Paisley Watts was only a week old and she certainly loved to sleep.
Hannah turned to Paisley, who stood at my side in the busy art gallery, sipping a cup of cherry punch. “How are you feeling?” she asked my cousin.
“Good,” Paisley said. “Sore in places, but good. I’m ready to get into a new routine in Asheville though. School, friends, all that stuff. Three weeks early was definitely a surprise.”
I still couldn’t believe my cousin had produced this actual baby in my arms. I had been there for the birth—I had already been back in Asheville for winter break from Greensboro—but it still seemed surreal to imagine Paisley actually giving birth.
“Hey,” Ashton said as she approached our little group. “Is this a baby show or a gallery opening? Not that the baby isn’t freaking adorable, of course, but you know, I only get one display opening in my lifetime.”
I laughed. “Sorry, Ash. It’s just so hard to not look at little Caitlin.”
“I know,” Ashton agreed. “I just want to grab those chubby cheeks and kiss them forever.” She leaned forward, smooching the baby’s little face.
I found Andrea with Mimi and Pop and handed Caitlin back over to her. Andrea’s face beamed as she took her adopted daughter into her arms. Andrea had been glowing ever since Caitlin’s birth. She was going to be a great mom, I knew, and I was excited to get to see Caitlin grow up during my weekends home from school.
Ashton had returned to her new art display and was discussing her inspiration with the group of people standing nearby. She looked like a natural, like she was meant for this moment in her life. Carter stood nearby, too, a proud smile stretched across his face as he watched Ashton speak.
“Need something to drink?”
My heart fluttered as I turned toward Rory and took the little plastic cup from him. He had gone back home for the first week of our winter break, but now he was in Asheville just in time for Caitlin’s birth and Ashton’s gallery opening and the New Year.
“Thanks,” I said. I took a sip and then bumped my shoulder against his. “So did you get your grades yet?”
“Most of them,” Rory said. “Looks like I passed everything. That’s all I care about. You?”
He had started classes that semester at Guilford Technical Community College in Greensboro and lived in an apartment not far from my dorm. His brother was helping him pay for school and alrea
dy he was looking into scholarships he could apply for when he decided to transfer to UNC-G.
He’d made me so proud in the past four months, and we’d grown even closer, spending as much time together as we could in-between work and school. I was studying music production and business, like I had originally planned, and I couldn’t have been happier than I was right then.
“I think I’m good,” I said.
“You’re brilliant,” Rory told me. “Of course you’re good.”
It had been hard driving away from Mimi and Pop, and it still was, though I was adjusting to life without seeing them every day. Being on my own was a new adventure. But my heart would always belong in Asheville, with Mimi and Pop and Ashton and Andrea, and now baby Caitlin.
It was New Year’s Eve and Summit Gallery was celebrating their opening of several new exhibits, including Ashton’s, with a New Year’s party. This year had been full of so many changes and I was looking forward to what the next one might hold.
Mimi, Pop, Andrea, Paisley, and the baby left before it got too late. Paisley was still tired from the birth. She had changed a lot afterward, I could tell. She was quieter, taking life slower than she used to. She was waiting to hear back from several colleges she’d applied to to determine where she might head off after she finished her senior year.
The room buzzed with more energy as the midnight hour approached. “Five!” the owner of the gallery shouted over the intercom system in the room. “ … Four … three … two … one!” Rory grabbed me, tilting me back in a deep dip. I laughed and then his lips met mine in a kiss that left me dizzy. For a moment, everything else in the room had disappeared and it was just the two of us, hanging in that moment.
My head spun when Rory stood me back up. I saw Carter and Ashton kissing a few feet away. Hannah stood alone, because Jude was still away at his station in Texas. Rory slipped his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I smiled, loving the feel of being with him.
“Hey,” I said. “Want to go for a drive?”