“I didn’t realize myself until yesterday,” Jamie admitted.
“That bit got past all of us,” Olivia said, a small frown creasing her forehead.
Haylee exhaled deeply. “Anyway, of course we’ll train the pup for him. Well, I will. But you’ll help.”
Jamie blinked. “Really?”
Haylee took a shuddery breath. “Really. I haven’t been a great friend, and I’m sorry. I should have been more supportive. And I will be, starting now.”
“No,” Jamie said, pulling her close. “I should have been upfront with you from the beginning. If only people said what they meant, the world would run a lot easier, wouldn’t it?”
“It sure would,” Gayle said. “But most people are lying to themselves as much as anyone else. Learning to be honest with yourself is the hardest lesson.”
Maybe Gideon was lying to himself, too. Maybe she should be more patient with him.
And dang and holy smokes. She’d be training Chaos! With Roman Byers.
Under Haylee, of course.
“Hold on.” She pulled away to look her friend in the eye. “Roman Byers is the one you want to bring here to spend time with Apollo?”
“Yes.” Olivia brushed her hands against each other, all business now. “He’ll come out three afternoons a week to visit the horse. You and Gideon will supervise. Then you’ll work with him and the pup, under Haylee’s supervision.”
Jamie lifted her hands and took a step backwards. “Whoa. You clearly haven’t met the man. Mr. Byers is an extremely . . . difficult person.”
“I know. His son explained everything,” Olivia said. “You know me. Can’t resist a challenge. Besides, he likes you.”
Again, Jamie felt her mouth drop open. “What?”
Liv grinned. “Yup. According to his son, he doesn’t stop talking about you.”
“Only because he thinks I’m a giant pain in the ass.”
Gayle spoke up. “Jonathan has been taking his father to the depression support group, but after meeting you and learning about the ranch, he believes visiting here will be helpful. My colleague at the hospital and I are inclined to agree.”
“It’s a win for everyone, Jamie,” Haylee said.
Jamie stared at her. “Not Gideon. Trust me. This is a punishment.”
“But he’ll have you, James.” Haylee straightened off the wall of the stall, nudging Jamie with her shoulder. “He’ll need your help, won’t he? And therein lies the true genius of our diabolical plan.”
Inside her chest, hope fluttered like butterfly wings. She knew they would be good together, but loving Gideon was like dragging a horse to a trough and watching him die of thirst. Would he resent the intrusion? Or was it the push he needed to finally see her for the woman she was?
“I don’t know whether to throw a pitchfork or say thank you,” she said honestly.
“You’re welcome.” Gayle gave her a one-armed hug, then took Olivia’s hand and walked out, followed closely by Haylee.
Jamie got a broom and swept a few stray pieces of straw out of the way. Apollo stood with his big head over the gate, watching her silently.
“Maybe,” she told him, “we should be apologizing to you.”
* * *
Gideon nudged the old stallion lightly with the quirt, until he was walking at the edge of the lead rope, stirring up lazy puffs of dust with every drag of his foot. How Olivia thought this animal would make an appropriate therapy horse, he had no idea.
But once Liv got her teeth into an idea, she didn’t let go. And worse, she expected him to handle it. With Jamie.
The horse stumbled.
“Whoa, boy,” he said.
Those hooves had been a nightmare, yellow and overgrown, more like horns curling on the bottom of his feet. The farrier had told them it would be months before he’d get them back to proper form. Apollo was moving easier now, which told them he was more comfortable, but he still wasn’t happy.
Join the club. After numerous conversations that had left Gideon feeling flayed inside and out, he and Lana had finally agreed on a date for Blake’s first visit. But would she follow through? What kind of supervision would she require? How was she preparing Blake? They’d managed to avoid lawyers and mediators to this point. Lana’s behavior would determine whether or not that would continue.
Apollo snorted and yanked on the lead, annoyed at the unaccustomed activity.
“Sorry, boy, but you’ve got to keep moving.”
It would be tricky to give the horse the amount of exercise he needed to regain muscle mass and fitness without overstraining the delicate tendons and ligaments in his lower legs. Years of neglect couldn’t be undone overnight.
Years of neglect.
He couldn’t help neglecting Blake for the first four years of his life. But these last two, that was on him. He had excuses, of course. He’d had nothing to offer the boy when he first got out. He’d needed time to put his life back together. He hadn’t expected Lana’s resistance, hadn’t known how to handle that. Hadn’t wanted to alienate her completely.
Weeks had turned into months and before he knew it, she was asking him to give up Blake entirely.
He’d done this. Now he had to undo it.
The horse slowed, and he stroked the whip softly over the cachectic hindquarters to keep him moving. “Come on, Apollo. I’m not asking for much.”
Liv’s request that he and Jamie work together with the man had been a curve ball, but since he was the owner of the pup she’d found—rescued, stolen, kidnapped, he wasn’t sure—and she had a relationship of sorts with him already, it made sense.
He should have argued harder. He didn’t want any more responsibility now, not when he was so distracted preparing to meet his son. But he missed Jamie.
It was selfish of him to crave her company, knowing how she felt about him, knowing he’d never be able to reciprocate. The hope radiating from her tore at him every time they spoke.
So he didn’t.
He couldn’t seem to avoid hurting her.
Was he being selfish in his desire to see Blake, too? He had no idea how to be a father. Perhaps Hudson was great with him and Gideon’s sudden presence would only confuse and frighten the boy.
If you didn’t know you were missing something, was it worth the upset to explore the discovery?
The animal shuffled through the thick layer of sawdust they’d put down for him that morning, his steps slow and heavy. This old horse had lived most of his life confined and alone, his days and weeks punctuated with feedings, stall cleanings and semen collection, denied even the pleasure of natural mating.
What constituted happiness in such a life? Was he aware of being miserable? Bored? Lonely? Olivia had seen something in him that told her there was life left in the beast, but Gideon couldn’t see evidence of it today.
Inertia was its own comfort.
Breaking out of it required effort and brought discomfort and confusion and fear.
Would it be worth it for Apollo?
Would it be worth it with Blake?
And what about Jamie? Was she asking the same questions about him? She was dismantling a comfortable, solid friendship, and for what? The pieces didn’t fit any other way, despite her hopes. Why couldn’t she see that?
At Gideon’s urging, the old horse put one foot in front of the other, over and over again, but his head hung low, his eyes dull and listless, as if he knew he was on a road to nowhere but had as little choice as he had when he’d stood in a windowless stall for months and years on end.
“It’ll get better, buddy,” Gideon murmured.
At least, he hoped so. If Olivia’s predictions were right, the horse’s strength would return, little by little, as muscles long atrophied returned to fullness. His coat would grow glossy again, his mane and tail would shed the brittle, broken strands, and shine with health once more. One day, he’d lift his head and consider the path before him with interest. He’d pick up his heels and step without thought i
nto a world he’d never known.
Either that, or they’d call the vet and ease him out of this world with whatever dignity he had left.
He put a feather-light touch on Apollo’s hip again. “Come on, buddy. A little more. You can do it.”
Selfish or not, he wasn’t going to give up on the old horse any more than he was going to give up on his son.
He had no idea what to do about Jamie.
Chapter Nineteen
A Venus–Saturn opposition can pave the way for a
serious blow to your self-esteem. Beware.
—Gideon’s horoscope
Gideon was on his way to the stables when an older grey sedan pulled up onto the ranch yard, a young man at the wheel and an older man in the passenger seat.
“Jamie,” he called toward the kennels. “They’re here.”
But there was no response. This was a preliminary meeting, an opportunity for him to get acquainted with Roman Byers and to show him around the ranch, establish a rapport, get a feel for his needs.
Two hours ago, he’d gotten a message from Lana. She’d be sending Blake to see him next Saturday at 2 PM.
He hadn’t been able to think straight since then. The last thing he wanted to do now was meet Roman Byers. And where was Jamie? She was supposed to be here to greet them and make introductions, since she already knew them.
He scanned the yard, but she was nowhere to be seen. No sound of her either. Given her tendency to talk to whoever she was with, human or animal, her voice had become part of the comforting background noise of the ranch. But today the breeze soughed through the trees accompanied by nothing but birdcalls and the distant surf that seemed to whisper his son’s name.
He walked to the yard, dusting off his hands, forcing himself to set Blake and Jamie aside.
“Hello,” he said, as the driver stepped out. “Welcome to Sanctuary Ranch. My name’s Gideon.”
The younger man came forward, his hand extended. “I believe you’re expecting us? I’m Jonathan Byers. My father, Roman.” He gestured to the older gentleman, who’d opened the passenger’s door but remained inside, glowering.
They’d brought the dogs, he saw. The puppy Jamie’d become so fond of hopped out and raced to greet him.
“Hey, little guy.” Gideon bent down to pat the youngster, who seemed to be built entirely of teeth, claws, and excess skin.
“Chaos,” snapped a gravelly voice. “Damn it, Jon, get the leash on him.”
“It’s great to meet you.” Jonathan made a grab for the pup and missed. “Dad’s been so lonely. Jamie’s company was a real lift for him. I think knowing she’s involved is the only reason he agreed to any of this.”
Gideon wondered if they knew that Haylee was shutting the training center down when the baby arrived.
“Gotcha!” Jonathan snagged the puppy’s collar and snapped on the leash. Chaos mouthed the leather, tugging and growling good-naturedly as if it were his favorite toy.
Jonathan stood up and looked around at the freshly painted corrals and outbuildings, the landscaping that Ezra maintained so meticulously, the serene cattle grazing on the hill. “It’s a beautiful place. I’m almost grateful now that Chaos has been such a pain. If he hadn’t escaped that day, we’d never have met Jamie.”
How much time had she spent with them? Gideon glanced at the older man in the car. From the look on his face, he did not share his son’s enthusiasm.
“A lucky break.”
Jonathan’s smile faded. “I understand that Haylee Hansen will be working with Chaos. She’s good, is she?”
Gideon glanced over at the kennels. “The best. Frankly, I’m surprised she agreed to take on another dog. She’s expecting a baby in about a month and will be taking maternity leave.”
“This is a waste of time, like I said, Jon.” Roman Byers gripped the frame of the car, swung his legs out, levered himself once, twice, then gave up and sat leaning against the door, his jaw set, like a truculent toddler.
Gideon walked closer, extending his hand again, this time as an offer of assistance. “Hello, Mr. Byers. I’m Gideon Low. May I help you out?”
Wincing, Roman stiffly pulled himself to his feet, ignoring Gideon’s kindness. “I’m fine. If that girl’s serious about wanting Chaos, she can have him. Bugger ate another pair of my shoes this morning.”
“Dad.” Jonathan glanced apologetically at Gideon. “You’ll have to excuse my father. He’s frustrated.”
“Don’t speak as if I’m not here,” Roman snapped. “I’m not frustrated. I’m mad. Where’s Jamie? Least she could do is be here to meet us.”
Gideon understood now why Jamie had been concerned about the pup’s home. Roman wasn’t up to dealing with the energetic animal.
“I’m sure she’s around somewhere. I know she’s excited to see you. Why don’t you come in to the main house and I’ll introduce you to the cook. She makes a mean cup of coffee. And if you’re very lucky, she may find something to go with it.”
Roman grumbled, but acquiesced at Jonathan’s urging. Gideon led them into the front room, where Daphne immediately set about making them comfortable. Then he strode out to the kennel area. Jamie wasn’t in the grooming room, or with the boarders, but when he went around back to the covered training ring, he found her running Haylee’s poodle.
No longer the pathetic, filthy creature she’d been on arrival, the dog was now white and clipped clean. She moved with an elegant, even gait, her keen eyes fixed adoringly on Jamie. The transformation was nothing short of amazing.
From the way the animal watched her, Gideon guessed he’d discovered where Jamie had been hiding out lately.
He waved her over to the fence. “Roman Byers and his son are here. He’s annoyed that he got stuck with me for a greeter. He’s quite something.”
Jamie’s eyes widened, and a smile blossomed on her face. “Did they bring Chaos?”
Gideon nodded. “The old dog, too.”
“Good.” She patted the poodle, led her inside, then walked past Gideon to the main house. “Roman’s a piece of work, but Jonathan’s great, isn’t he? Looking after a man like that can’t be easy.”
Her approval rankled. He hadn’t pegged Jamie as someone who’d be swayed by preppy good looks and an easy smile.
“How often have you gone out to see them, Jamie?”
She shrugged. “A few times. Why?”
Good question. Her spare time was her own. She didn’t owe anyone any explanations, least of all him.
She hurried ahead of him, her black boots leaving little tufts of dust in her wake, and he couldn’t help watching that tight behind twitch in those tattered blue jeans, imagining Jonathan admiring the same view.
“No reason,” he said.
It was the most they’d spoken in several days, and he didn’t want it to end. But she was already on the porch and didn’t hear him.
* * *
Jamie glanced at her phone. She still had five minutes before Jonathan was picking her up, and she’d left her favorite denim jacket in the stables. She couldn’t decide whether to go get it and risk running into Gideon, or take a sweater instead.
The meeting with Roman had gone well, and they’d settled on dates and times for him to join her and Gideon in the barn with Apollo, after which he and Chaos would have a lesson with Haylee.
Gideon had been disturbingly unreactive to the plan, leaving without comment, as if aware of Gayle and Olivia’s secondary plan to draw him out.
She glanced out the window of her cabin again and bit her lip. Maybe she should have gone after Gideon, tried harder to make him talk.
Then she sighed. Horses, thirst, troughs. It wasn’t personal. He was preoccupied with Blake. As he should be.
So, today, she was going out to have some fun. There was nothing wrong with that.
Jonathan was a sweetheart, the way he worried about his father. When she found out that he’d never taken time to visit the town of Sunset Bay on his trips out, she’d immediate
ly offered to take him to see a few sights on her next day off.
She’d spoken, as usual, without thinking, but now was glad for the opportunity to get away from the ranch for a few hours. Watching Gideon’s torture as he waited to meet his son was killing her.
She stepped out of her cabin and headed for the stables. It got chilly on the water, even in summer. She needed her jacket. She hoped she could avoid running into Gideon. She didn’t want to explain what she was doing.
Or with whom.
Though it would be infinitely good for him to see her with a life outside the ranch.
Outside him.
She nearly bumped into him as she rounded the corner. Cursing inwardly, she stepped back, smoothing a strand of hair away from her eyes. She wasn’t used to it being styled like this.
“Where are you off to?” Gideon paused, the saddle on his hip sagging. He looked her up and down. He blinked; then his expression darkened. “Are you wearing makeup?”
Jamie felt her cheeks grow warm under the unfamiliar foundation and blusher. Abby had helped her; Abby, who understood hair and cosmetics and fashion, who was effortlessly feminine and endlessly generous, and who intimidated the hell out of Jamie.
“What business is it of yours? It’s my day off.” She started to walk past him, but he shifted to stand in her way.
His eyebrows rose. “No offense meant. You look good, is all.”
“Oh. Thanks.” She tugged at the pastel-colored top that Abby called peach and said brought out her creamy complexion. To Jamie it was orange, and made her feel like a traffic cone.
Black was her color. It had always been her color.
You could hide in black.
“Special plans?” Gideon’s tone suggested that they were office cube-mates who exchanged the same words every week. Monday: Did you have a good weekend? Thursday: Can’t wait for the weekend. Friday: Have a good weekend. Add a few Nice-day-todays and We-need-more-coffee-to-get-through-this-meetings and you had the basic structure of a one-hundred-percent meaningless relationship.
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