by Nancy Thayer
“The family has always spent a lot of time on the island in the off-season,” Felicity explained. “They come for the Cranberry Festival, Thanksgiving, the Stroll, Christmas, Daffodil weekend—”
“All unnatural reasons to come to the island!” Noah rose from the sofa and paced the floor, slamming his fist into the palm of his hand.
“Well, Thanksgiving—”
“A man like that makes me want to vomit. Such a show-off, an egomaniac who doesn’t give a shit about nature unless it’s got a sticker he can put on his four-wheel drive vehicle! Felicity, I used to admire your mother. I thought she was a good woman, a smart woman, but now I think she’s just another pretty face who’s gotten her claws into a rich man!”
“How dare you!” Angered, Felicity stood up and blocked her husband’s pacing. “How dare you say that about my mother. She’s not a gold digger!”
“You’re blind if you can’t see it.”
“Noah, come on, you’re being irrational.”
“You think? I might be, because that whole setup makes me so damned mad. Have you seen the Wauwinet? David is taking that expensive hotel over for an entire weekend? He can throw away money that should be spent on charities, on wildlife conservation groups, on helping this poor world instead of throwing parties for his group of miserable moneygrubbers! I tell you, Felicity, there is no way in hell I’m going to that wedding.”
Felicity’s hands flew up to her heart, as if afraid it would stop. “Oh, Noah. Don’t say that. Please. You have to go. Your children will be in the wedding. I’ll be in the wedding. My mother would be heartbroken if you didn’t come.”
“That’s her choice,” Noah said. “She’s chosen the dark side. I’m not going over there.”
Felicity stared. Who was this man? She opened her mouth to plead—and instead, she found herself saying, “ ‘The dark side’? How do you define the dark side? I would say that a husband having an affair with his personal assistant is about as dark as it gets.”
Noah recoiled. “Don’t drag Ingrid into this.”
“Ingrid. You want to protect Ingrid? Noah, I am your wife. The mother of your children. If you think David’s evil because he has money, what about you? What would your adoring employees think if you got divorced so you can fuck Ingrid?”
“I never mentioned divorce.”
“Well, I did. Just now.” Felicity was standing almost toe-to-toe with her husband, as close as she’d been physically in weeks. Energy was zapping between them, and she knew her face was as red as his, and both of them were breathing heavily, but this was the dynamics of battle, not love.
“You’re being absurd,” Noah said.
“Oh, I can get crazier,” Felicity warned, and she had no idea where these words and the strength to power them was coming from, but she was filled full of a righteousness that she’d been denying for weeks. “I think Ingrid is a danger to our marriage. Either you fire Ingrid, or I’m leaving you.”
Scott’s face turned from crimson to an unhealthy burgundy, and as angry as she was, Felicity’s heart tripped with worry—had she just given her husband a stroke?
“You would do that,” he said.
“I would.”
“Fine, then. Let’s make a deal. I’ll fire Ingrid if you cut off connections with your family.”
“Oh, Noah!” Felicity burst into tears. Her power popped like a bubble. “You know I would never do that! I can’t do that!”
She folded into a lump on the sofa, elbows on knees, face in her hand, sobbing.
“I’m not going to let you blackmail me with tears,” Noah said.
He left the room.
Felicity continued weeping until she was all cried out. She sat on the sofa, straining to hear where Noah was in the house. Would he come back in? Surely they couldn’t leave the argument at this bleak, unresolved spot. She was confused and mad and sad. Had she been strong or had she been foolish?
Rising, she swept her cheeks dry with her hands. She walked into the kitchen for a glass of water to soothe her aching throat. As she stood there drinking, she heard a door shut, and she knew from experience it was the door to their guest room.
At least it wasn’t the front door, she thought.
* * *
—
“Well!” Alison said to David once their children had gone and David had watched the Red Sox beat the Yankees, “I think this was a good weekend for everyone.”
They were sitting in the den, in separate chairs. Alison was knitting a blanket for Poppy’s new baby, and the regular movement of the soft yarn through her fingers worked like a meditation.
David cast a longing eye at the desk where his laptop sat.
“I know you want to read the Sunday newspapers, but you can give me a minute or two. Tell me what you think about the weekend.”
David laughed. “Sweetheart, not everything needs to be assessed and inspected. It was a fine weekend, a normal weekend.”
“Humor me,” Alison said. “Tell me, for example, what you think of Noah.”
David considered his thoughts before answering. “I like the man. I think he’s wound tight, but that’s no surprise given the fact that he’s trying to start up a new product, a new company. We had a good talk out at the Wauwinet. His company, Green Food, seems like a viable nutrition option to me, even an important one. It cheers me up a great deal to see our young people taking on the challenges we oldies have given them with such a complicated world.”
“I’m so glad you liked him!” Alison held up her knitting. “For Poppy’s new baby.”
David glanced at it. “Nice,” he replied dutifully. “I’m thinking I might invest in Green Food. They could use an influx of capital, and I’d like to help them out.”
“David, how wonderful!”
“Don’t say anything yet, please. I’ve got to go over some figures before I say anything to him. I’m not sure how much I can free up.”
“I won’t say a word,” Alison promised.
“Seriously, Alison. I don’t want to get his hopes up only to disappoint him.”
“I don’t want to do that, either. But I’m pleased you’re considering this.”
“How do you feel about the weekend?” David asked.
Alison smiled. She loved it when David would do what she called “feeling talk” with her. “I thought it went well. I’m worried that Jane hasn’t heard from Scott. I hope he’s okay.”
“Scott’s a seasoned traveler,” David reminded her.
“True.” Alison stopped knitting. “I think whatever little flame of passion ignited between your son and my daughter has died down.”
“Oh, Ethan’s always been a flirt.” David waved his hand as if dismissing a fly.
“And how’s Poppy?”
“Now that her morning sickness has passed, she’s got her head on straight. I think it was an enormous gift to her, postponing our honeymoon. It will ease the transition of control. It’s probably better for the employees, too.”
“Is it better for you?” Alison asked. “You don’t seem upset that you’re still working instead of playing golf.”
David said, “You might be right. But what about you? If I work, even part-time, what will you do?”
Alison laughed. In a soft Southern voice, she cooed, “Why, darlin’, I’ll lie around watchin’ TV and eatin’ chocolates, jus’ like I always do.”
“All right, point made.” David sent another look at his laptop. “And by the way, I don’t want to check on work. I want to check on our wedding weekend. Not everyone has responded. And I need an update from Heather about the flowers and the welcome baskets and the band. Heather wanted a group from Boston, but I’ve heard the island band Coq Au Vin is good. I’ve listened to a CD and I’m glad we booked them.”
Alison moved over to sit on David’s lap. “I
think you’re more excited about this occasion than I am.”
“Maybe I am. I’ve spent too many months looking at the past. I like facing forward again. Why don’t I get my laptop and we can run through the plans? I can email Heather—it’s only eight-thirty—”
Heather, Alison thought grouchily. Heather was so infinitely capable. Did she make Alison seem incompetent by comparison? But Alison knew she was a star at organization when it came to life. All her life she’d managed children, husband, and even her parents and Mark’s parents as they’d aged and toddled off into retirement homes. Alison had managed to get Jane to soccer matches and Felicity to ballet practice and picked up Mark’s dry cleaning and baked dozens of brownies for fundraisers. She’d worked as a receptionist for a busy dental practice. Of course she could deal with flowers, music, invitations, and all the complicated arrangements of their wedding. The truth was, Alison was glad to have Heather doing all this work. It freed Alison up for being with her family.
But she was here, now, Alison reminded herself. And there was one thing she could do that would make David happy…
“It’s Sunday. You shouldn’t bother her on Sunday. Anyway, why don’t we not think about the future?” Alison suggested. “Why don’t we think of something we can do right now?”
She wrapped her arms around David and kissed him softly, all over his face, down his neck, behind his ear.
David groaned and ran his hands over Alison. “I know what we can do right now. And right here.”
“Yes,” Alison agreed. “Everyone’s gone. We’re alone in the house.” Rising, she took David’s hand and pulled him to the sofa.
“This feels…decadent,” David said.
“Yes, it feels as if we’re teenagers again, doesn’t it? Not waiting to go to a bed, making love where we are because that’s what feels—necessary.”
As she and David arranged themselves on the sofa, Alison experienced a flush of great affection for the man who was struggling to undo his belt with some kind of grace. At that moment, David seemed to her the perfect man, capable of exerting power, acting creatively and decisively, and still able to transform himself from business executive to gentle lover. His chest hair was silver, and his face was becoming jowly. But Alison silently shrieked to think what her face looked like now, as her jaw lay pressed into her wrinkled neck. They were no longer young. Lovemaking was no longer desperate. It was tender, and sweet, a spring rain rather than a thunderstorm and—
—and David kicked his trousers onto the floor and Alison slipped her pants off. David lowered himself onto her, and suddenly she was young again, overwhelmed, taken. Surprised by what her body—her body and David’s—could still do.
twenty-two
When Felicity awoke, it was late, after eight, but it was summer and she could hear her children playing in their rooms, so she rose leisurely, taking time for a full body stretch from her fingers to her toes.
She wasn’t surprised that Noah wasn’t in their bed. Last night he’d slept in the guest bedroom, his phone and laptop with him. Oh, how she wished she could hack into his email! She’d had trouble falling asleep, wondering if Noah was texting Ingrid.
Sexting Ingrid.
She pulled on shorts and a T-shirt. A quick peek at the guest room proved Noah was already up and out of the house. Felicity rounded up Alice and Luke and shepherded them to the kitchen where they ate cereal while she drank a lifesaving cup of coffee and packed their lunches. This week both kids were in day camp from ten in the morning until four in the afternoon. They had friends who would be there, as well, and Felicity knew some of the counselors—healthy, cheery young women with ponytails and colorful braided bracelets that they taught the children to make on rainy days at camp.
“Backpacks!” Felicity reminded her children.
It amused her, and comforted her, to see how readily Alice and Luke did what she told them. They couldn’t wait to get to camp. They flew to the car and snapped on their seatbelts and jabbered with each other during the ride to the small farm with its barn and pond and tree houses. Four teenage girls and boys were waiting at the gated driveway to collect the children. Alice and Luke yelled, “Bye, Mom!” and exploded out of the SUV and into the campground.
Felicity drove away slowly, her mind stirring with thoughts like a sleeping animal waking. The counselors had been so genuinely happy to see the children. True, the counselors were young and energetic and it was fun to be outdoors on a great summer day. But it was more than that. The teens’ faces had brightened when they saw the children, they reached out to hug them, to hear Alice and Luke jabber away. They liked working with children.
When Felicity saw the sign for Walden Pond, she turned and drove down the forested two-lane road. She parked in the lot, pleased to see that it was still half empty, crossed the street, and walked down to the pond. On the beach, several families were swimming, and two women marched along the trail on the far side of the pond.
Felicity found the trailhead and began walking. She’d been here before, with her children or with friends, but today she was alone, and she was glad. Somehow all this natural space around her gave her thoughts space to roam free.
She’d cried herself to sleep last night, and her heart was heavy today. Noah had thrown down a powerful ultimatum—he would fire Ingrid if Felicity would break with her family. It made sense to her, she thought it would make sense to anyone, that Noah should fire Ingrid because Ingrid was a risk to his marriage. But how in the world could Felicity’s family be a risk to her marriage to Noah?
Well, she thought, as she brushed a willow branch away from her face, Noah had been furious last night about the kind of money David had. Maybe that was it.
Okay, Felicity said to herself, following her thoughts as they led her along an unknown path. Noah was worried about money. Always. His first and most continuous stressor was the future of his company. He was working hard, she knew that, and he wanted to make his business a success not only for financial reasons, but of course money was part of it.
His second largest stressor was personal money. Money for the house, for clothes for the children, vacations for the children, never mind vacations for him. Did it hurt his pride that David Gladstone could provide such a luxurious vacation for Felicity and Noah and their children when Noah couldn’t possibly afford a night for his family on that island?
Keep thinking, she told herself. You’re getting somewhere.
She stepped over a fallen log. Noah was so proud of their house because from the outside it looked elegant, pricey. But only Felicity knew how they had to cut corners with their money when it came to eating out, repairing the air-conditioning, taking the children to water parks like the Great Wolf Lodge.
Their money.
Could she help financially? In September both children would be in school all day, Alice in second grade, Luke in first. She would have enough time freed up for at least a part-time job…but what could she do? She’d majored in education and psychology in college, but after she met Noah, she cared about nothing in the world besides being with him. When she got pregnant just before graduation, Noah had been as delighted as Felicity. She was certain of that. Noah had been full of ambition and hope for his business, and having a wife to take care of the routine matters of life—buying groceries, cooking, doing laundry—that had seemed absolutely right to him.
But now? Now, seven years after graduation, Felicity had her degree in education, but no state preschool teaching certificate.
But she knew how to get one. She knew where to find the information she needed to bone up on to take the examination. She had friends who would help her.
She had friends who would hire her. Preschools always needed teachers.
Did she want to work in a preschool? Felicity tried to return to her mindset in the early days of her college career, when she was still young and free and could choose what
ever route her heart desired. Her father had paid for her education, she’d lived in a dorm or at home, she had no pressing debts and all the world was before her. She could have majored in English because she loved reading, or in social work because she loved people, but she had instinctively gone for education, because she loved children, the younger, the better. She’d made money during the summer as an aide in a local preschool, and she’d loved every minute of it. Sitting in a circle with the children, teaching them songs, or marshaling them into lines to go out for a field trip, seeing their faces when they were allowed to hold a frog in their hands…
Felicity realized she was walking faster and faster, almost running, and when she tripped over another log, she forced herself to slow down.
Be honest, she told herself. Any money you make teaching preschool is hardly going to help Noah with the cost of running the house and our lives.
But, she argued with herself, it would be some money. And it would show Noah she was on his side, trying to help.
When he came home tonight, she would ask him about her idea. In the meantime, she couldn’t wait to get home to her laptop. She was sure there was a preschool near the children’s elementary school. How cool would that be?
* * *
—
Jane was in her office at the law firm, but she couldn’t concentrate on her work because she was so angry at Scott. Why wouldn’t he answer his phone? How childish! In the back of her mind, a small worry fluttered its wings like a trapped moth, but she refused to give in to any fear that something might have happened to him. He was a careful climber. And a very stubborn man.
Just before noon, her cellphone buzzed. The number displayed had a 44 followed by too many digits. Was that the prefix for Wales? She reached for her phone.
“May I please speak with Mrs. Jane Hudson, please?” The voice was unfamiliar.
“This is she,” Jane said, a chill of dread racing through her.
“This is Derfel Aberfa. I’m the liaison officer for the Llanberis Mountain Rescue League.”