“Are you serious?” Kerry’s knees wobbled and thoughts swirled through her mind. She couldn’t believe he would carry the charade this far. “Have you ever asked anyone else before?”
“No, no one.” Finn’s mouth gaped, and his eyebrows crinkled.
“What about Safire, the artist who works for Dex? What did you tell her last year before leaving?”
“I, I told her I would call, but I didn’t. I realized she wasn’t the one for me. Kerry, will you take the ring?”
“I thought you brought me up here to break up with me. I don’t know what to think. Are you truly asking me?”
“Or am I playing a game?” Finn snapped the box shut and pocketed the ring. “Is that what you think?”
“I don’t know.” Kerry’s eyes followed Finn as he bolted toward the door. “Wait … why are you leaving?”
He brushed past Siena, who had her camera trained on them. If it was drama she was looking for, she got it—a record of heartbreaking drama for reality TV or video blogs.
“You too?” Kerry flung her hand across her eyes as she choked over a sob. Below them, Finn’s footsteps clambered down the lighthouse tower. “What’s going on here? Why do I get the feeling everyone’s playing to the media? Welcome to the reality show called life.”
“Kerry, honestly, no. We didn’t set you up,” Siena said as she pushed by her.
“You both did.” Kerry stomped down the stairs. “How do I know the entire vacation wasn’t a set up? You and Dex playing matchmaker? Leaving the brand new surfboard in the shed? Finn conveniently filming the shark attack on the very day the great white was tracked to Montauk, and then leaving the GoPro outside so reporters could pick it up? Someone must have tipped off Jared. I can’t believe he recognized us from the surf cams.”
“That’s not true. You know me better than that.” Siena’s steps trailed her. “When Finn asked me to stop by Lonnie’s mother’s house for the ring, I told him it was too soon. But I went along with it because I thought you were in love.”
“No, Siena, you went along with it to get that footage up in the tower. Why’d you keep the camera rolling? As for Finn, maybe he tricked himself into believing he wanted to marry me, or he was notching up vacation memories. You told me he set Safire up last year, then left without a care. Don’t you get it? He’s more in love with trying to replace the romance his parents had than living his own life. It’s as plain as the tattoos inked on his body.”
“You know what?” Siena shoved the digital SLR at Kerry. “Take the camera. Take it. Delete the pictures and videos if you want. I thought I was your friend, but it looks like you don’t know what friendship is. I’ll drive you back, but I’m leaving tonight. Please leave the key in the lockbox where you found it.”
Chapter Twenty
Later that evening, Finn stood in front of Dex’s door at the Dakota, an upscale apartment complex near Central Park.
His friend opened the door and did a double take, his eyebrows jumping and his mouth twitching. “What are you doing here?”
“Coming by to help with the video game design.”
“I thought you’d stay at the cottage a few more days. Siena mentioned the possibility.” Dex waved him in. “What happened?”
Finn massaged the back of his sore neck and shook his head slowly. It wasn’t Dex’s fault he was unaware of what had happened between him and Kerry. “Nothing, man. I’m right on schedule.”
“Sure, okay. You up for going out? A bunch of us are meeting at NightCaps to celebrate Ellie being selected ‘Teacher of the Year.’” Dex’s eyes held questions, but he wasn’t going to pry.
“Sounds great,” Finn said, as Ellie appeared from the kitchen. She was a lot more confident these days, and he was glad the two of them had finally found each other. “Congratulations. I always knew you’d be the kind of teacher I wanted to have.”
“It’s good to see you, Finn.” Ellie brushed her curly dark hair over her shoulder and gave him a warm hug. “I’ll show you to the guest room.”
The ease with which Dex and Ellie interacted was an amazing change from their fragile friendship growing up. They had finally gotten all their demons squared away and were in a true partnership of love. Finn was envious, but he knew Dex deserved it more than he. Dex was a multi-millionaire, a captain of the technology industry, and not a lowly grunt who went around killing people—even if they were insurgents and enemy fighters.
After dinner, Finn dressed up in a pair of jeans, a casual shirt, and Army boots. He strolled with Dex and Ellie into NightCaps, their neighborhood bar and hangout.
“Thrive!” A man with a beard lifted his beer mug and yelled across the crowded bar. A woman wearing a red hoodie twirled a stick of red licorice and looked over, but the third person who sat with them stopped Finn’s heart.
It was Safire Chu, the artist who designed the characters’ faces, clothing, and settings. She lifted her hand shyly, as if unsure of whether he’d acknowledge her. Finn’s stomach clenched into a knot. Was he really that intimidating to women? He’d heard that Safire had been on stress disability after he’d failed to communicate with her. But what had she expected? She was already stressed to the wire with the hectic pace of the video game releases, and he couldn’t add to her fears by making their vacation romance into something more serious.
Dex and Ellie crossed over to the booth the others were sitting at. They all scooted over, making room so that Safire was perched on the outside corner. Finn rocked on his heels. Hell, he’d faced enemy soldiers armed with rocket launchers and stared down known terrorists. Safire was probably just as nervous as he was.
“Hey, over here,” Dex waved. “What are you having? A Shark Bite?”
Everyone laughed. Finn glanced quickly around the bar and wished he had a hoodie to hide under. By the time he approached the booth, the only seat left was next to Safire. Since he hadn’t greeted her, she kept her attention on Ellie, asking her about her students and talking about how she deserved the award.
Finn reluctantly perched half his ass on the vinyl booth seat and left his leg in the aisle. It had been a mistake to come here when his heart was cut through to the core. But he was a man, an Army Ranger, and he wasn’t going to let any of the pain inside him show.
The waiter brought everyone their drinks, including Finn’s Shark Bite, a blue-green cocktail with a few drops of grenadine to resemble blood.
“To Ellie,” Dex said, raising a toast.
“To Ellie,” everyone said, and clinked their glasses. Finn was forced to acknowledge Safire when their eyes met over their drinks.
“Hey, long time,” he said.
“Yes, very long.” Her almond shaped eyes shone like black onyx and sparkled with interest. “I’m okay now.”
“That’s good.” He took a swallow of his drink, surprised at the citrusy taste mixed with rum. “I’m sorry.”
“No need to be.” She touched his forearm. “We had a good time, and I read more into it than was there. I admit that now.”
“It wasn’t just you.” Finn’s throat closed up. “I also built up a world of dreams for us.”
“It’s okay. We’ll always have that week to look back on and forget the ugliness afterwards. How’s your job? Did you get promoted to Sergeant First Class?”
“Yes, yes, I did. Thanks.”
“Congratulations.” She raised her glass again to toast him. “And you’re back in one piece. How long are you staying?”
“A few days. Going to help with the new game you’re developing.”
She moved her tiny hand down his shirtsleeve and over his knuckles, stroking them. “I’ve learned to compartmentalize. Want to hook up again? I promise it’ll be over when you leave.”
Finn’s heart lurched, not because she wasn’t attractive, but because she was so damn tempting. But the recriminations rang in his ear, and across the table, Dex was glaring at him with narrowed eyes. Besides, his scarred and battered heart belonged to Kerry, whether she wanted
it or not.
He removed her hand and set it on the table. “You’re a special woman. Don’t sell yourself short. Compartmentalization is for the war zone, not for love.”
“Is that how you feel now?” She recovered her drink and stirred it with a cocktail straw.
“I met someone and she broke my heart.” He chuckled at the stupidity of it all and brought the ring box from his pocket, opened it, and laid it on the table.
Dex, Ellie, and their friends stopped their conversation, and everyone stared at the ring.
“Isn’t that your mother’s ring?” Dex said at the same time the ‘Thrive’ man said, “Ouch. She turned you down?”
“Oh, Finn.” Safire rubbed his arm. “I’m so sorry.”
“Whether she says ‘yes’ or ‘no’ doesn’t change how I feel about her.”
“So, what are you going to do?” Dex asked while Ellie stared at him with saucer-shaped eyes. Of all the people sitting around the table, she was the most like him. She used to run when things got tough, before she found Dex again.
He snapped the box shut and tucked it back into his pocket. “I’m going back to the war zone and never coming back.”
“Will you give her another chance?” Ellie asked. “She must be special if you proposed.”
“No more chances.” Finn slammed the drink down his throat. "Not her, not anyone.”
He squeezed his eyes, refusing to let the tears fall. He was done with women and love. The sooner he got back to the hellhole called war, the sooner he’d meet his parents and see Lonnie again.
“That sucks, man. Totally sucks.” The bearded man who’d yelled ‘Thrive’ shook his head and downed his beer.
# # #
Kerry couldn’t stop the tears from running down her face as she scoured the internet for airplane tickets. Across from her, Siena transferred the photos and videos from her camera to an online folder they shared. She insisted that Kerry should view the entire video, but Kerry couldn’t stomach it—not when she’d hurt Finn so terribly.
“I really screwed up,” Kerry cried. “I’m so sorry, Siena. I still want to be friends if you can forgive me.”
“I can’t say you didn’t hurt me with your accusations.” Siena’s voice was clipped and tight. “I’ve never, ever taken advantage of anyone. If you recall, my agent wanted me to date an athlete to create buzz. I hated using him, and I apologized for it.”
“I know you did.” Kerry wiped her eyes. “Finn must hate me by now.”
“You’ll have to ask him. I wouldn’t know.” Siena pulled the cable from her camera. "I took time away from my family to help make you and Finn’s day special. I’m going now.”
Kerry stood clumsily and opened her arms to hug her friend. Siena’s lips were tight, and she gave her a pat on the shoulder before clambering upstairs to retrieve her bags.
A few minutes later, the front door slammed shut, and Siena’s car drove away in the chill of the evening.
Kerry’s stomach turned, and she stumbled to the bathroom to throw up. She was a worthless piece of crap. Not a good friend and a horrible daughter. She hadn’t even visited her mother since the shark attack. It was as if she’d shut herself off from the entire world once the shock wore off and the scars solidified on her leg.
A knock on the door amped her heart. Maybe Siena was back, or Finn. Kerry dabbed the running mascara from her eyes and ran her fingers through her hair. If Finn could forgive her, she’d be happy, even if she never saw him again.
She opened the door with a swoosh, and her spirits splatted on the floor like broken eggs.
Jared Dunbar stood on the porch.
“Oh, you poor thing. I just heard,” he said, wringing his hands and wearing a smug smile.
“Heard what?” Kerry had no energy to muster a snarky reply.
“Your Army man and supermodel left you all by your itty bitty lonesome self.”
“So, you came to gloat?” She moved to slam the door, but he blocked her.
“Of course not. I’m your friend, remember?”
“I apparently don’t know what friendship is.” She crossed her arms. “I’m also leaving, and no, I’m not going back on tour with you.”
“It’s okay, Kerry.” Jared advanced through the door. “All I care about is your happiness. If you’re unhappy touring, then so be it. We can think of something else for you to do.”
“Like what?”
“I’ll think of something. Don’t you worry.” Jared put his arms around her and hugged her, rubbing her back. His unexpected kindness broke the dam of her resistance.
“I screwed up so badly. I don’t know what to do,” she wailed, wiping her eyes. She’d just lost her two best friends in the world. Maybe Jared wasn’t so bad after all. Maybe he only wanted to be friends now.
“You leave it to me, Kerry.” Jared guided her to the sofa and sat down with her. “I’ll take care of you. I know you’re short of funds, and I won’t make you pay back your advance right away. Instead, I’m working on a few deals. I won’t bore you with them tonight.”
“Thanks for holding off on the payment.” Kerry sniffled into her hands. “I swear, I’ll pay you back every penny.”
“I’m not worried.” Jared rubbed her back. “With your newfound notoriety, we can get top dollar for you, everything from advertising to appearances on reality TV. There’s a show in Australia, a Survivor-like show where contestants have to swim with the sharks. I’ve already been in touch with the producer, and it’s a definite go. We can also enter you in beauty pageants worldwide. The scars on your leg are worth a premium. You, Kerry Mills, are going to be in every shark related fashion show, surfing line, reality show, adventure drama, soap opera romance, and documentary. Instead of Crocodile Dundee, there will be Kerry Shark Mills. In addition, speaker fees are top dollar. I can get you five to ten thousand to talk about surfing safety and how you survived a shark attack. We’ll even come up with a cereal for kids called Shark Crunch.”
Kerry held her hands up. “It’s too much, Jared. Too much, too soon. Can I think on it and let you know?”
“Sure, how long do you need?” His voice was deep and sympathetic as he took her hands and rubbed them.
“I want to see my mother first. I missed Mother’s Day already. I’m such a horrible daughter.”
“No, you’re not,” Jared clucked. “You’ve had a lot on your plate. I’ll make the arrangements and take you to the airport. How about it?”
“Sure, thanks. Can I leave tomorrow morning?”
“You got it, babe.” He kissed the side of her head, then angled for her lips.
“No, Jared.” She turned away from him. “Not anymore.”
“Why not?” He stroked her face, bringing gall up her throat. “I’m going to make you a star. It’s the least you can do.”
“No, I can’t. I’m over you.” She pushed away from him.
His flat muddy eyes stared at her with the soullessness of a shark. “You need me, Kerry. You’re nothing without me. I found you on the beaches of Maui, a goofy-footed amateur. I made you who you are—promoted you and put you in the right tournaments. You really think you’re that great of a surfer?”
The tightness in her chest exploded, and blood pumped to her muscles. Her entire world had fallen apart in the last few hours, and he, Jared Dunbar, had the nerve to sit there and tell her he was the hitmaker?
She put all her fury in her teeth and spat at him. “I never needed you. I can make it on my own.”
“Suit yourself.” Jared stood and brushed the spittle off his face, still calm with that smug, knowing grin. “Remember what you’re turning your back on. It’s not like you have any other friends or prospects.”
He strode to the screen door and delivered his parting shot. “My lawyer will be in touch about payment terms for the advance. Let me know if you change your mind. You can be a bigger headliner than that supermodel friend of yours. As for the Army loser, you can do way, way better.”
The scr
een door slapped shut, and his footsteps disappeared into the night.
Kerry sank to her knees and clutched her chest. Jared was right. She had no friends. No prospects. No life. She’d been wrong about Siena and especially about Finn. All these years spent with Jared had warped her understanding of personal relationships—you rub my back, I’ll rub yours. Everything had an angle, tit-for-tat, no pay, no play.
Siena didn’t need her, and neither did Finn. Not even her paralyzed mother needed her. When Kerry tried to quit surfing and nurse her mother who’d broken her neck, her mother had refused, opting for a nursing home instead. She seemed happier there than home alone with Kerry.
Oh, dear God. No one needs me. No one.
She collapsed on the floor and wept. When she finally climbed the steps and buried herself in the colorful daisy bed, she thought she heard a voice.
No one might need you, but someone might want you.
Chapter Twenty-One
“Aloha,” the receptionist at the nursing home greeted Kerry. After hours on the airplane, she was back in Hawaii, on the island of Maui where she’d grown up. Raised by two surfer parents, she knew how to swim before she’d learned to walk.
“I’m here to see Mrs. Mills, my mother.” Kerry signed in. “How is she?”
“Oh, we had a festive Mother’s Day earlier this month for all the residents. Your mom’s doing as well as she can under the circumstances. No infections, eating well, and no bed sores.”
Great. Everyone was rubbing in the guilt. Kerry bowed her head and followed the receptionist to her mother’s room.
Her mother looked up from the monitor propped in front of her. A weak smile lifted her cheeks.
“Mom. I missed you so much.” Kerry rushed to the wheelchair and placed a lei around her mother’s neck, then hugged her tightly. “I’m so sorry.”
“Stop apologizing.” Her mother’s voice was sharp. “Own up to what you’ve done or not done.”
The Remingtons_Leap, Laugh, Love Page 12