by Daria Wright
“Well… if you’re going to insist.” Ruth bit her lip. Excitement overwhelmed her. She knew she shouldn’t be so excited; after all, Jacob was a man of the church. Sure, it wasn’t uncommon for preachers to find a wife- but those wives were model examples of the Amish life. Ruth was far from that. Wasn’t she?
They walked together silently for a while.
“How are you holding up?” He asked.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, it must have been hard for you to be there, watching your friends move on with their dreams when yesterday you confessed that you were beginning to wonder if Gott has a plan for you.”
“Ach. I’m fine.” He had a way of hitting the nail right on the head, hat was for sure. But she was fine. She would be. That much she knew for sure. “I know Gott has a plan. I just…”
“It is okay to question Gott.” His words shocked her.
Ruth stumbled over her own feet as she turned to the man beside her. How could he say that so calmly?
“Everyone does, even I do. What is important is to realize that you are only letting your fears drive you away from your faith, and catch it in time. You must understand that those thoughts are natural, but so is evil. Evil and Nature have a very thin line, Ruth. Allow yourself to think your thoughts, but be wary of crossing that line.”
Ruth stared at the man in front of her. He had stopped to talk to her, a soft smile on her lips. His brown eyes locked on hers, soothing her. Ruth felt calmness wash over her body.
“Danka, you always know what to say to make things better.” She smiled as they fell back into pace together.
The walk home wasn’t a long one and it had become something she was very used to, though not in the dark. While it was true her attraction to the man had something to do with the reason she went there, Ruth wanted to grow closer to Gott, and when she was in the church she felt that bond grow- which had been why she started going so much. With her thoughts on troubling topics, she wanted to get to a safe place as often as possible.
“I am wondering, do you plan to go away for the summer?”
“You mean with those expecting their Rumspringa? Nee.”
Most liked to wait until the summer for their chance to go into the English world before fully committing themselves, but Ruth had decided a long time ago that it wasn’t for her. She had known when she was 12 years old that she would be baptized without fear of if this was the right choice.
“You’ve already gone?”
“Nee. I’ve already made my choice; that is all.”
She could feel his eyes on her, but he didn’t say anything as they kept walking. She wondered if he was judging her.
“You’re a unique woman, Ruth.”
“Danka.” Though she was not sure if that was a compliment or an insult, she chose to take pride in his words.
They didn’t speak much more until they came to a stop in front of her parents house.
“Danka for walking me home,” she said, her arms crossing in front of her as he hugged her shawl.
“I am happy to walk you anywhere, any time.” His eyes sparkled as they stood there. Ruth’s heart skipped a beat. Jacob ran a hand through his hair. “I was wondering, would you like to come early tomorrow? I could use the company.”
Company. Not help. He wants my company? She replied his words in her mind again and again.
“Of course,” she stammered. Of course she would come early if he wanted her to. He wants me. He wanted her company.
“Gut. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Ruth’s heart skipped a beat as she watched him turn around and head back towards the church. She couldn’t believe what she had just heard- what had just happened. He wanted her to come help him.
She closed her eyes letting out a sigh, not realizing until now that she had been holding her breath.
Gott, please let this lead me to my path.
She prayed silently for a couple of seconds before she turned for the door and made her way into the house.
“There you are.” Her mother looked up from the quilt she was finishing up. No doubt a wedding gift for someone, though Ruth was not sure who.
“Sorry if you worried. I stayed behind to help Jacob clean up.”
She hadn’t been telling her parents where she had been spending most of her time, but she could feel both her mother and her father looking at her.
“I spoke to Emily’s mother today. She said you were there yesterday, too,” her mother said, brows furrowing.
“Jah.” Ruth was hoping she would not have to explain herself.
Her mother smiled widely. “Gut,” was all she said before going back to the quilt she was working on.
Gut? Why?
Ruth was not sure why her mother seemed so pleased by the idea that Ruth was at the church. If anything she should be upset. She would have had to do more chores to make up for the fact that Ruth wasn’t there. And her siblings were already skipping out on their chores to begin with.
Ruth’s brow furrowed as she made her way to her bedroom and towards the small bed by the window, the one she had gotten in a game of rock, paper, scissors. Although it was cool in the summer, she had to deal with the draft in the winter months, and here the winter months seemed to last longer than the summer ones.
Ruth dropped down onto her bed, turning to see the small Bible on the nightstand between her bed and her sisters.
“You were out late. Did a boy court you?” Grace asked, almost excited.
“Nee.” Ruth’s brow furrowed as she answered her sister’s silly question. Grace looked disappointed.
Ruth reached for the Bible, pulling it towards her. Tonight, she would read before bed.
Overcome with excitement and nervousness, Ruth hadn’t gotten much sleep. She woke with the rest of the family and dressed quickly. She wanted to get to the church early, but not too early. Her brow furrowed as she tried to decide on the perfect time to leave while her fingers made their way through her hair. She tied her thick blonde hair up into a bun and looked herself over in the mirror. Though she tried not to pay much attention to the way she looked she had always been proud of the hazel eyes that stared back at her in the mirror.
Ruth turned away from the mirror as someone knocked on the door, opening it. Her mother stood there, holding a folded bunch of red fabric.
“Maemm.”
“Ruth, I’ve been meaning to give you something.” Her mother crossed into the room and handed Ruth the fabric. When she took it, letting it unfold, she gasped. She stared at the dress her mother wore for her Sunday best. “It’s too small for me these days. I must be gaining weight.”
“But you wore it last month.”
Her mother shrugged, as if it did not bother her. “It will most likely be a bit big on you, but if you try it on we can get that fixed up right away and you will be able to wear it today.”
“But-”
“None of that.” Her mother waved her hand in the air, cutting Ruth off.
Ruth nodded, slipping out of the dress she had just put on and slipping into the dress her mother had given her, despite the fact she was sure they had more important things to do then alter a dress for her. After all, she wasn’t getting married today, so why did it matter what she wore?
Her mother was quick with a sewing needle and in no time the dress looked like it had been made for Ruth, not her mother. She stared at herself in the mirror. Her hand ran over the dress slowly as she took everything in. wow. She felt beautiful in it. She felt something that she had never felt before. She just couldn’t place it.
“Maemm… it’s… perfect. Danka, danka so much.”
Her mother smiled with sparkling eyes. “You look like a woman ready to follow Gott’s path.” Ruth was taken aback but the words, but more than anything she was taken aback by the pride that filled her mothers voice. She stared at her mother for several seconds, trying to figure out what was going on. This must not have been random chance. Nee. Maemm seems too happy
for it to be chance.
“But what will you wear?”
“I’ll wear what I wore yesterday.”
“It fits?” Ruth raised an eyebrow.
“Well, I didn’t burst it yesterday, so I should be fine.” Her mother said as she turned on her heel and walked out of the room.
Jah, something is up.
Chapter Three
But Ruth didn’t have time to figure out what. She had to be somewhere and she wanted to show up early enough to help out as much as she could. After finishing breakfast and packing a small lunch, Ruth was on her way out the door. She still wasn’t used to the red fabric that circled around her as she walked, blowing against her skin in the wind. She couldn’t help smiling widely as she made her way down the street. She felt beautiful. She thought about what her mother had said. “You look like a woman ready to follow Gott’s path.” What had her mother meant by that? Looks had nothing to do with Gott. Even Ruth knew that.
What makes maemm think I am ready to follow Gott’s path? He had made it clear that it was not her time yet, and she would not make a fuss over that. She would not hold that against him and she would not be resentful.
Jacob heard the door open. Looking up from where he sat, his gaze was frozen. Ruth walked towards her, a bright red dress covering the curves of her body. He took a deep breath, forcing his eyes away from her body and towards her face. Her hazel eyes sparkled. “Good morning!”
She sounded so happy.
“Good morning. I hope you slept well last night.” He had not – his mind had been on the woman he had walked home. The woman standing in front of him.
Although her dress was simple, he had never seen her wear it. It looked like it had been made for her.
“I did, and I’m ready to get to work,” she beamed.
She was a hard worker. He had been amazed by just how quickly she had gotten the floor clean the other day, and last night by just how quickly they’d managed to get everything clean. He smiled softly.
“You’re a little worker bee, aren’t you?”
“I like to stay busy.” She shrugged.
Most people here did, and he couldn’t blame them. Being busy kept everyone happy and if you worked hard all day, by the time night rolled around you were often so tired that by the time your head hit the pillow you were out cold. Jacob smiled.
“Well, people will be arriving soon. Would you mind helping me get the seats ready?”
“Of course.”
They worked in silence for a long time. Jacob’s mind wandered. Thinking about the woman who was with him, and thinking about the day ahead. He knew it would be a long day. The pastor was sick, which meant he was unable to do any of the weddings himself, so Jacob had been tasked to do it. He had been so nervous yesterday that he puked but today, he felt a little more calm. He was sure he could make it through the day. He just wasn’t sure he’d be able to take his mind off the girl in the red dress.
Ruth watched from the back of the room as everyone said their vows. Today things were much faster. There were only a few couples that were to be married today, as opposed to yesterday, and then the community had decided to do a large brunch for everyone. It wasn’t uncommon but it wasn’t common either. The couples had decided that they all wanted to pitch in on the work together and that they would all get married together, so the community could have one large celebration instead of small ones. Ruth liked the idea, she had to admit, but she was trying not to think about marriage. She was trying not to wonder when her time would be.
Once everything calms down I’ll forget about it. She knew it was the truth.
“You did a wonderful job,” Ruth said as she made her way towards Jacob.
“Danka.”
She handed him the glass of water that she’d poured for him. He looked shocked and taken aback as he took it. Ruth felt her cheeks flush. She had been wondering if it was too much to get him a drink, but it had seemed clear that he wouldn’t be getting away from everyone who wanted to talk to him, and with all the speaking he had done she was sure he was thirsty. She watched as he drained the glass and let out a sigh, his shoulders relaxing. Despite the fact he wore his formal clothing, she could see the muscles in his shoulders.
She blinked, forcing herself to look away from him. “I couldn’t have done it without all your help.”
“Oh, I didn’t do anything.” She shrugged it off. After all, she had only helped out a little.
Jacob headed towards a group of trees, motioning for her to follow him. Ruth’s heart skipped a beat as they made their way past Emily and her new husband. She could feel Emily’s eyes on her.
“I must admit it is nice to feel the breeze. These clothes get hot,” he said as the wind whipped around them.
Ruth waited quietly. She was sure that Jacob hadn’t asked her to join him over here just to talk about the weather, but she could not figure out what it could be. He turned to see her as she sat down. Careful not to show too much leg, Ruth sat down near him.
His eyes sparkled as he looked out at everyone. “They all look so happy.”
“Of course they are. This is a new stage of their life. They are going to have a family of their own. If they don’t already have one that no one knows about.”
She had seen Emily today behind the church. The girl had been sick. Ruth had, of course brought her water to wash her mouth out, and she hadn’t said a word but she could see the way Emily had kept a hand to her stomach.
Jacob looked shocked. “What do you mean?”
Ruth turned back to Emily. She smiled. Emily had her hand on her stomach again. “My maemm always said the best way to tell if a woman is expecting is to watch her hand. Even if a woman doesn’t know it herself, she will always touch her stomach. She said it was instinct to protect her child.”
“Your maemm sounds like a smart woman.”
So he wasn’t going to deny it? Ruth looked away from Emily and turned her attention to Jacob. She knew very little about him. Just that he hadn’t been born here, and that he inspired many people.
“Do you miss your family?”
She’d never seen them come visit him. She’d never even heard anything about them.
He looked taken aback. “I… well, sometimes. I don’t have family left anymore, though.”
“I’m sorry.”
Her heart sank into the pit of her stomach as she looked away from him.
“Nee, it is not your fault. This,” he motioned around him, “is my family.”
“And we are glad to have you.”
Chapter Four
The clouds rolled in around the time that everyone was beginning to leave. Her family loaded into the buggy and Ruth stayed behind. “I’ll be home soon!” She called over the wind.
“Be safe!” Her mother called down. Ruth nodded, promising her mother that she would be safe. If worst came to worst, Ruth could wait out the storm in the church.
It was a shame the weather had to take a turn for the sour, but thankfully it had stayed sunny most of the day. As everyone left around them, Ruth and Jacob cleaned up the tables, folded the tables clothes and placed them in the boxes that they went in.
“Here,” Jacob rushed over to her side as she bent down to pick one of the boxes up. Ruth raised an eyebrow.
“There are some over there.” She motioned towards the others with her head as she picked up the boxes.
Jacob’s eyes widened. Clearly. he hadn’t thought she was strong enough to pick it up. Although it was uncommon for a woman in her community to show her strength, most were just as strong as the men.
Jacob smiled, heading for the other boxes.
Deatt always said a strong woman will only scare a weak man. He had taught her when she was young to be strong. Truth be told, he’d even let her help with some of them men’s work when she was younger, though he’d made her promise not to tell her mother. She could probably out shoot most men her age. A grin touched her lips as she made her way inside just in time. The ru
mble of thunder made her pulse pick up a bit.
We’ve still got boxes out there.
They couldn’t afford for any of them to get wet. Her pace quickened as she dropped the box as carefully as she could and rushed back outside. Jacob carried two boxes in his arms as she slipped past him. Their eyes locked for a fraction of a second. I wonder… She bent down and picked one box up, stacking it on top of another.
She wasn’t sure she’d be able to do it, but when she stood with both boxes in her hands, pride overwhelmed her. A flash of lighting brought her back to reality.
She rushed for the church doors just as the first few drops of rain started to show themselves. She slipped through the doors and made her way towards the storage room with Jacob was putting everything away. He turned to her, taking the boxes from her.
His warm hands brushed against hers. “Danka,” he said.
Already she could hear the rain coming down against the tin roof. Hard and fast.
As he closed the doors Jacob looked up. “Sounds like quite the storm,” he said as they heard the thunder crack.
“Jah. It will be good for the land though.” Despite the fact the harvest was over, a little rain would be good.
“That is true. I forget, farmers,” his eyes sparkled.
Ruth’s brow furrowed. What did he mean by that? “Did your other community not have many farmers?”
“Ach… uh, nee. It’s not that… It’s nothing.” He shook his head as he headed for the small room marked Privet. He turned as he reached the door. “Please, come in. You can wait out the worst of the rain in here.”
Ruth nodded as she made her way over to the room. He opened the door and she came to a complete stop. She stared into the room. She stared at the bed. It’s his room?
“You… sleep here?” She hadn’t realized.
“Jah. When I came here, I didn’t see the point in building a house, I mean it’s just me. And the pastor was kind enough to offer me a room, but at least with me here, he doesn’t have to worry about waking up in the middle of the night if someone needs him. They can just come here.”