“And he’s a great kisser, I’ll give him that one.” I took a deep breath and then told her what I hadn’t want to admit to myself. “But I felt like I’d been duped, like he’d played me.”
She furrowed her brow in confusion. “What? Why?”
I sighed and ran a finger along the pattern on my comforter for a moment before I responded. “Everyone told me to be leery of him, that he was only after one thing. They all said, and I felt the same way, that I was a challenge because I wasn’t interested and he’d just play the game until he finally got what he wanted.” I raised my eyes to hers. “I thought he and I were actually friends, Annie. I guess I was wrong,” I finished sadly.
She tilted her head in thought before she spoke. “Ash, can I ask you something?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you still hoping things will work out with you and Teeg?”
Actually being asked that, point blank, caused me to freeze in place. I opened my mouth to respond, then settled on just giving a shrug.
“I’d like an actual answer,” she pushed.
I sighed and dropped my head back against the headboard of the bed. “I don’t know. Maybe?” I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment before I opened them and swallowed hard. “Yeah, I think so.”
At her lack of response, I rolled my head over and saw she was looking at me with her lips pursed in a tight line. “What?”
“Aislinn…” She stopped and ran a hand through her blonde hair. “Honey, you need to realize it probably won’t ever happen.”
Even though I knew what she said was true, it didn’t make it any easier to hear. A lump formed in my throat and the back of my nose started to burn as tears fought to make themselves known. “I know,” I croaked. “But it’s not like I can just stop loving him and wanting to be with him.” I sniffed in an effort to keep the tears back. “I miss him, Annie,” I whispered.
She stood up from the dresser and crossed the room, crawling in bed with me, and wrapped her arms around me. “I know you do, sweetie. Believe me, I know what it’s like.”
I rested my head on her shoulder and let the loneliness wash over me. The tears started to fall as memories began to play through my head and I sucked in a shuddering breath. “I really thought he and I were a forever type of thing,” I said with a broken voice. “It felt like it was unbreakable.”
“I understand,” she said gently. “But I think it’s time to start accepting that it isn’t.”
I broke down and sobbed at the knowledge that she was absolutely right. It was time to let go.
***
I walked into my dorm room and closed the door with a sense of relief. I’d just finished my last final for the semester and could finally breathe. I had no illusions I’d come even close to acing any of my exams, but I was fairly confident I’d passed them, at least. I’d take it. It was asking for a lot as it was.
The Russian projects had been turned in by Ryan after coordinating via email to get it done. I hadn’t spoken to him since the night he’d kissed me, and he had finally accepted that I wasn’t going to. I’d eventually conceded enough to communicate via email to turn everything in. The grades for the class had already been posted, and I was pleased to see the two of us had wrangled one of the highest grades in the class. Thank the Lord for small miracles.
I tossed my bag onto my bed and blew out a breath, making my bangs shift. I stretched my arms over my head and felt the tense muscles begin to loosen. It’d been a stressful few days and it was time to relax before beginning the pack-up process for the winter break. I planned to change into something more comfortable and veg out for a bit. I’d be doing it alone as Annie had already left the day before.
The phone rang while I was digging through my dresser drawers for lounging clothes. Sighing, I trudged over and grabbed it out of my bag. I glanced at the number and frowned when I didn’t recognize it. The thought of ignoring it crossed my mind before I shrugged and hit the accept button.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Hello. Is this Aislinn Munroe?” a deep male voice asked.
The mangled pronunciation of my name had me rolling my eyes, but I responded anyway. “Yes, this is she. Who is this?”
“This is Logan Rollins. I work with your mother.”
A sense of foreboding washed over me at his explanation. I took a deep breath in an effort to calm down my suddenly racing heart. My palms started to sweat and I had to tighten my grip on the phone to keep it to my ear. “Okay,” I said in a hesitant voice. “Why are you calling me?” I wasn’t sure I wanted the answer. “Is Mom all right?”
At his silence, panic started to build.
“Hello? Are you there? Is Mom okay?” I cried, frantic.
“Ash, there was an incident at the station. A suspect managed to get loose in the main station and was able to get hold of a letter opener.” He paused, and I fought the urge to yell at him to just answer the damn question. “Your mom came out of her office to see what was going on…Ash, he grabbed her and was using her as a shield.”
“What?” I didn’t understand what he was saying.
“He was trying to get away, and he grabbed your mother to keep from being shot. But when the officers wouldn’t move out of the way, he stabbed her.”
The room started to spin and I sat down heavily on my bed. “Oh my God!”
I could hear him swallow hard before he continued. “He stabbed her several times in the chest and stomach before they were able to take him down. She’s in emergency surgery at Tallahassee Memorial.” He paused for a moment and then continued, confirming my worst fear. “You need to get here as soon as possible, sweetheart. They don’t know if she’s going to make it.” His voice broke on the last two words.
I sat in a daze, listening to him hang up. This couldn’t be real, wasn’t happening. This was a bad dream and I would wake up at any moment. I had to.
But I didn’t.
***
Reality was a bitch. It took me about half a second to come to that conclusion. I also realized that when crap hit the fan, it didn’t do it in half measures. It went the extra distance.
I started to get an inkling of this fact when I tried to frantically get hold of Connor and his phone kept going straight to voicemail. I packed one-handed as I kept hitting the redial on my phone and getting the same result each time. Finally, the only option left was to leave him a voicemail and head out. Time was not on our side.
I raced out to my car and threw my things in, not caring that my purse ended up on the floorboard with everything spilling out. I slammed my door shut and jammed my key into the ignition and turned it to start. My reward was nothing. I tried again and it still didn’t start. All I could do was sit and stare at the instrument panel in shock. This wasn’t happening. Not now, not when I needed to leave!
I tried again and still nothing. Not even a click. The urge to cry was overwhelming.
I leaned over and dug through the mess on the floor of the passenger side until I found my phone. I tried calling Connor again, and still no answer. At that point, the tears couldn’t be held back and started to spill down my cheeks.
“God dammit!” I screamed in frustration.
I took a moment to breathe in. I knew panic and fear weren’t going to get me anywhere. There had to be a solution. But if I let the panic take over one wouldn’t reveal itself to me.
I eyed my phone and decided to look through the contacts to see if anyone could help me. But as I scrolled through, the sinking realization that most of the people had already left for break dawned on me. One name stood out, but I refused to acknowledge it. There was someone other than Teagan I could call. There had to be.
Just as I was about to give in and call the absolute last person I wanted to, a name jumped out at me. While this wasn’t much better, it was preferable to the other option at hand. I pressed the call button before common sense took over and talked me out of it.
“Yeah?” Ryan answered.
I didn’
t know what to say to him. I had no clue how to ask this level of a favor. Silence was all that could be mustered at that point.
“Ash? Is that you?”
I nodded before I realized he couldn’t see me. “Yeah,” I whispered.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, alarmed.
“I need your help,” I said as I fought to keep my voice from breaking.
I could hear movement over the phone. “What do you need?”
“My mom…” I swallowed hard but it didn’t stop the lump from strangling my voice. “My mom’s in the hospital in Tallahassee. I can’t get hold of Connor and my car won’t start—”
“I’ll be right there, sweetheart. I’ll take you,” he said and hung up before I could say anything else.
All I could do at that point was wait and cry.
Chapter
Twenty-Three
The view outside the passenger window of Ryan’s truck offered a decided lack of scenery as we traveled along I-10. Thoughts twisted and turned in my mind, all half-formed and not up to close scrutiny. A constant underlying fear rode me; I wouldn’t make it to the hospital in time. It took every ounce of willpower I possessed not to scream for Ryan to punch it, speed his way to Tallahassee and get me there. He was already going well over the speed limit for me as it was, and I refused to give voice to that much panic.
I took a shuddering breath and leaned my forehead against the cool glass, hoping for calm. The silence was broken only by the radio playing softly in the background and I was grateful for it. My nerves were all over the place and the concentration needed for conversation was not anywhere within my present capabilities. Ryan must have sensed this because he didn’t once try to initiate conversation.
Try as I might, I couldn’t tamp down the fear that Mom wouldn’t make it. I found myself praying over and over that everything would be all right. I also kept repeating a mantra. Mom is strong and she’s a fighter. She would come through this fine. Connor and I had lost Dad; we couldn’t lose Mom too. But I refused to dwell on the selfish thought that I wasn’t ready to be an orphan.
Logan called after we’d been on the road for about an hour and a half with a progress update. Mom had still been in surgery and there was no estimate on when she’d be out. It didn’t escape me that Logan seemed to be extremely upset over everything. I had a suspicion things were more serious between them than my mom had admitted.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.
I was so lost in my own thoughts I was startled and jumped slightly when I felt Ryan take my hand in his. A quick look over at him showed he was concentrating on the road in front of us. As if sensing my gaze on him, he shot a quick glance toward me and tightened his grip on my hand. I swallowed hard and turned my attention back out the passenger window.
“She’ll be okay, you know?” he told me in a soft voice.
I shrugged. I didn’t really know what to say and didn’t want to jinx anything by saying otherwise. On and on the mile markers counted down the distance to the exit that would lead us to the hospital in Tallahassee. The closer we got, the longer it seemed to take.
He sighed and released my hand, only to reach over and run his fingers gently through my hair. “I’m still your friend, Ash. I’m here to listen. I hope you know that.”
As strange as it seemed, I believed him. Unfortunately, it didn’t bring me much in the way of comfort. The fear, the instability of the situation, and the loneliness overwhelmed me, and panic was just a short distance away. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply through my nose in an effort to regain some sense of control of the situation.
Finally, after I felt some of the panic drift back into its carefully hidden place, I nodded. “I…appreciate that, really. I just…” I trailed off, not sure how to put into words what I felt at that moment.
Ryan removed his hand and placed it back on the steering wheel. Worried that I’d hurt his feelings, I frantically searched my panicked brain, trying to figured out how to try to clear the air. The problem was, I didn’t know what to say. Just as I was about to word vomit in an effort to explain what was going through my head, my phone started ringing.
Saved by the bell, literally.
I breathed a sigh of relief and grabbed the phone from the center console where I’d dropped it after talking to Logan.
“Hello?” I answered, grateful for the reprieve.
“Sis?”
I almost cried at hearing Connor’s voice. Just as quickly, anger followed the relief. “Where the hell have you been?” I all but shrieked at him.
“I’m so sorry, Ash! I can explain,” he choked out. “Where are you? Have you heard anything yet?”
The battle against the tears was finally lost and they started to fall down my face. I hastily wiped them away and sniffed before I answered him. “I’m with Ryan. He’s taking me to the hospital now. Logan called a little while ago and said Mom was still in surgery.”
Connor paused for a moment before he asked hesitantly, “Ryan’s with you?”
I nodded then remembered that he couldn’t see me. “Yeah. Why?”
“It’s just…I mean, I thought that there wasn’t anything—”
“Don’t,” I interrupted him, my tone full of warning. “Don’t go there.” I ran a hand through my hair, pushing it away from my face. “My car wouldn’t start. I couldn’t find you…He offered to drive me to Tallahassee.”
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Ryan look at me with a confused look on his face. I shook my head and held up a finger to let him know I’d explain later. “Where are you, Connor?”
He sighed. “Look, it’s…I’ll explain it all later, okay? I’m on my way to Tallahassee now. I should be there in about four hours or so. How far out are you?”
I glanced at the GPS unit that Ryan had mounted to his dash. “It says that we’re about forty minutes away.” We’d lost a little time when we made a stop at a rest area a while back.
“Okay. I’m sorry I wasn’t there, Ash. But I’ll be there soon,” he reassured me. “Hang in there, kiddo. I love you.”
“I love you too,” I told him. “Please hurry.”
“I will, sis. I promise. And, Ash?”
“Yeah?”
“Tell Ryan I said thanks for being there,” he said quietly.
The contrite tone in my brother’s voice had me blinking back the tears threatening to start again. “I will. I promise.” I hung up and dropped the phone back into the console. I took a deep breath and glanced over to see Ryan studiously trying to make it look like he hadn’t been listening in on the conversation.
“Even though I know you heard him, my brother said to say thanks for driving me,” I said wryly.
He shrugged and flashed an unrepentant smile. “I’m nosy. I couldn’t help myself.”
The first real smile I’d felt since Logan called me earlier that day broke through and I didn’t try to hold it in. “It’s all right.” I leaned toward him sideways. “I’m nosy too,” I confessed with a wink.
He laughed as I straightened back into my seat. As quickly as the mood lightened, the thought of my mother, fighting for her life in surgery, flashed back and the fear swept over me like a tsunami. I swallowed hard and gripped my hands together tightly, turning my attention once again to the scenery outside my window.
“We’ll be there soon, Ash. Everything’ll be okay. You’ll see,” Ryan whispered to me.
I prayed he was right.
***
I stared at the tall blond-haired doctor in front of me, not really comprehending what he was trying to say. I knew the words leaving his mouth were English, but what they meant was another thing entirely. I’d just spent the last two and a half hours sitting in what had to be the world’s most uncomfortable chair, in a room that was so far from soothing décor it had to be in China. My nerves were shot and I was on the verge of losing all control. I blinked and shook my head in confusion. “I’m sorry, but what?”
The doctor flashed a sad, underst
anding smile. “Your mother had to be placed into a medically-induced coma.”
“I’m not understanding why you needed to do that,” I informed him.
“Your mother’s heart stopped beating twice while on the operating table. We decided that placing her in a coma for a few days would be the best way for her body to start the healing process from the surgery.” He paused and looked at the equally tall man next to me. “Are you her husband, sir?”
I glanced over at the man I now knew as Logan and watched as he opened his mouth to respond, caught my look, and closed it. He seemed to be struggling with an answer before he finally took a deep breath and said, “I’m her fiancé.”
My jaw slackened and my mouth dropped in shock. “Wait. What?” I looked at the doctor as if he could provide an answer, then realized he’d be the last person to know what was going on. “What the hell are you talking about? When did you—? How did you—?” I stopped and sucked in a breath. “What the hell are you talking about?” I finally spluttered out, wincing when I realized just how loud my voice had become.
A throat clearing behind me had me whirling around to face the doctor. He held up a hand and took a step back. “Ms. Munroe has been taken to recovery. She’ll be in there for several hours of observation before she’s moved into her room. Someone will come and get you when she’s settled.” With that statement, he pivoted on his heel and quickly strode away.
I spun around and stared at Logan with narrowed eyes. With a growl, I pointed at him. “I want some explanations. You were just saying that, right? To get her medical information?” That had to be the reason he’d said they were engaged. That was the only thing that made sense.
He braced a hand on his hip and raised the other one to rub the back of his neck. He looked down at the tiled floor with a sigh. “I’m sorry, Aislinn. Your mom wanted to wait until after the new year to say anything to you and your brother.”
I took a step back in shock. “Come again?” I let out a laugh of disbelief and shook my head. “No. No way. You’re joking, right? This is all a big joke.”
Decisive Moments (In Time Series Book 2) Page 20