Chapter 10/What have I done?
Selah woke the next morning, her phone was buzzing on her night table, she looked and saw she had 20 messages from Daniel, she scanned through them quickly, then shut off her phone. It was true, he was apologizing in every one, it wasn’t a nightmare. She curled her legs up in the fetal position, she felt violated, as if she would not trust again. She couldn’t bring herself to get out of bed she never wanted to leave the safety of her covers; everything had seemed easy with Daniel at her side, the weight of what had happened last night and over the last month settled on her, immobilizing her.
She had never realized how much lighter she was when he was around, how could he have betrayed her like that, he only had to tell her, she would of understood they could have been a team in the void, he could of shown her everything Caleb had, Caleb had been the only one to tell her the truth not lies, she had been looking on the wrong guy all along.
Daniel’s good looks and what had happened all those years ago had left her vulnerable, weak, when it came to him. She wouldn’t let that happen again, there was no room for weakness, she would close her heart, she didn’t need anyone, especially not Daniel, he was a liar and a fake, she had done well before he came along she could and would again.
She pulled the covers over her head wishing she would run out of oxygen and just pass out, so she wouldn’t have to feel anything anymore. She let the emotions choke off everything else and rode the waves of sadness, barely keeping herself afloat.
Selah heard a knock on the door, she never answered… as a weight sat on the edge of her bed, she felt a hand on her leg, her dad she knew she felt her voice give away as she tried to tell him she wasn’t feeling good.
“Selah honey are you ok, Daniel called this morning and told me to check on you, is everything ok?” concern in his voice.
Daniel had put himself in every part of her life; he had seeped in like a snake bite numbs your whole body, overtaking everyone in his deception. She didn’t want him here anymore, she couldn’t handle it.
“I don’t feel so good dad, I’m gonna stay home ok, maybe it’s some flu or something…and dad, Daniel…” Selah’s voice betrayed her as she choked up, “I don’t want to see him anymore ok.”
Peter rubbed his daughter’s back as she cried, Diana was supposed to be the one here for this, and he was helpless as she cried, what had happened …? Daniel was a good guy he knew, he hoped she would come around; Daniel had helped them all overcome their grief. He would do as she asked, but would try and get to the bottom of her heartache, there had to be a solution to this problem…
“Do you want me to talk to him honey; maybe you two can work this out.” He offered hopefully thinking it was just a silly spat.
Selah shook her head adamantly, “No Dad it’s done between us ok, I don’t want to talk about him anymore… and can you tell Jacob for me, please.”
Peter knew better than to argue with her now she was like Diana in this way, and until she was calmer she wouldn’t see the light, they were a stubborn lot these Jones women, he would have to give Daniel fair warning.
Peter knew he should listen to Selah’s wishes but something just felt wrong about the whole thing, he’d never followed his gut instincts before even though Diana had always told him to, it was time he tried to though for Selah… and Diana.
Peter left the bedroom and closed the door softly, he worked out a plan in his mind on how he would try to help them out, he knew one thing she needed Daniel…even if she was just too pigheaded to see it, it wasn’t over until the fat lady sang he thought…
As he got downstairs he saw Jacob getting ready for school “Is she coming down dad, I’m going to be late if she doesn’t hurry.”
“No, women problems buddy, I’ll drop you off to school today, you may have to walk home though.” He patted his son’s shoulder.
“I’ll just give Daniel a shout, he`s probably coming here anyway, so it all works.” Jacob said offhandedly.
Peter bent his head down realizing how much they had all come to depend on Daniel in such a short time, he had helped fill the hole left by Diana, he glanced down at his own hands and saw the calluses he had made practicing the guitar with Daniel every night that Selah had been working.
“Maybe you shouldn’t call Daniel, their having a spat of sorts, your sister didn’t fill me in but she said she didn’t want to see Daniel.”
“Awe dad Daniel’s been so great with me he taught me some awesome ways to block shots and he’s helped me improve my reflexes, she can’t be serious can she?” he looked as sad as Peter did with the news.
“I hope it’s nothing major, she has that awful temper though and she doesn’t back down easy, maybe we can try to make her see the light…but let her calm down let’s not push her.” Peter suggested.
“So are you saying I can still hang with Daniel?” his youngest child sounded hopeful.
“Don’t let Selah catch you, cause she’ll skin us both alive, and trust me buddy you don’t want the only woman in the house angry, got it!” he gave Jacob a stern look of warning.
“No prob. Dad my lips are sealed…he really loves her though, he can get really sickening when he start talking about her…I mean she my sister, but seriously he’s got it bad.
As they reached the school, Peter wished Jacob a good day, but just as he was about to leave, he took out his phone, he searched through the contacts, he saw the number that had phoned that morning he pressed redial.
“Hi Daniel, its Peter Selah’s dad, how are ya?” he asked not feeling the least bit guilty about interfering with his daughter’s life. “Are you busy later, around lunch time?”
Daniel was surprised by the phone call, when he heard the invitation he jumped in response, “No sir, I’m free, can I ask why?”
“I was wondering if you would like to meet me for lunch around 1 at the Macdonald’s on Water street?” hoping he wasn’t scaring the boy with his abruptness.
“Yeah I guess I could is something wrong, is Selah alright?” Daniel’s voice sounded strained.
“Well she as good as can be expected for having her heart broken,” Peter blurted out.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt her, I really didn’t” Daniel sounded pitiful on the other end of the line.
Peter looked at his watch he had to get to work, “We’ll talk at noon; MacDonald’s don’t forget I’ll be waiting.” Knowing he would make him sweat until then as he hung up the phone.
Daniel held his phone as he heard the sound of the receiver click, as the call was disconnected, shit her dad was gonna freak out on him too. He put his head in between his hands, could the situation get any worse? He had a pounding headache he hadn’t slept a wink all night, he had kept trying to call her.
He tried to think of a way to make her talk to him he had to make her see, if he told her about the vow, it would clear everything up in an instant, all would be forgiven with her… but he would have to forgo his duty.
It was a terrible weight on him; he knew what his choice was. It was better to have held her for a short while, than to have never had the chance, he would have to hold on to the precious memories they had made, each touch, kiss and caress, because they all might have to last him a lifetime.
He thought of the meeting with her dad, he lifted his head up and braced himself for the onslaught, he couldn’t imagine hurting any more than he already did at this moment.
The time passed slowly as Daniel went to the restaurant early he wasn’t hungry but ordered a coffee and reminisced about his first coffee with Selah, she had been so flustered when he has spilled it all over himself, but bold enough to begin wiping him down with her dishcloth. He smiled in spite of the pain it left in his heart, she had felt the same as he did instantly he could tell, and they had a soul connection.
He thought about all their past lives how they had not always ended up as a couple, she was so strong she had gone it alone a few times, and all he could do was watch her and protect her, that was
his biggest fear now. Would she shut down like she had before, he wished she had the memories he did. But she had decided to start each life with a clean slate, no extra baggage.
He understood why she made that choice in the beginning, but it didn’t make it any easier. He had to hold back so much, it was almost unbearable, she was so worth all of it, the times when they had been bonded and one, he could make it through anything he thought, just holding on to those times.
The time past as Daniel held on to all his memories of their time together, he never noticed when Peter took a seat next to him with a tray of food, he passed Daniel some fries and a coke.
“Man you look like death warmed over, buddy, have you even slept in the past few days?” Peter worriedly looked at Daniel.
Daniel sighed deeply and shook his head in response, “Not really… so how is she? I’m so sorry about what happened, I didn’t lie to her…and she thinks I have been lying all this time…I tried to make her listen.”
“Whoa slow down; for starters let me make something clear if you intentionally hurt her, I will put you in a world of pain, understood.” He looked sternly at Daniel making sure he was sincere before he continued “ Cause she’s all I have left of her mother, they could have been twins, not in looks… she’s a female version of me, but if I close my eyes when I’m with her…I can almost pretend it’s Diana.”
He studied Daniel how miserable he looked, and knew his gut had been right as he continued “I’m here cause I lived for 20 years with her mom and in twenty years you learn what to do and what not to do…if you’re willing to listen I can help you reach her, but you have to be patient or she’ll close up like a clam shell and you’ll make it worse for yourself, I had to learn that the hard way…do you think you can have some patience?”
Daniel laughed if Peter only knew how long he had been waiting for her already, what was a little more time… “Yeah I can do that, I can wait for as long as it takes, what else can you tell me, I’m open to suggestions.”
Peter started wolfing down his lunch he didn’t have much time, he went into detail on women, his daughter in particular, he knew if she ever found out she would be pissed big time with him, but this was for her own good, he had never seen her happier than when she was with Daniel. And right now this family needed a bit more happy.
They put their heads together and began forming a plan, Selah wouldn’t know what hit her if it worked; Peter was sure Jacob would be willing to help also; he was also in Daniel’s corner.
As Peter told Daniel his idea, Daniel felt the weight on his shoulder shift, they were on his side, he felt more hopeful than he had a few minutes before, it might actually work, as long as she was willing to open up to him again, as he remembered the look of emptiness in her eyes the night before he wondered.
Selah felt like she had been run over by a truck, her whole body ached she hadn’t gotten out of bed all day, except to use the washroom, she wasn’t hungry, she was thirsty though as she rolled out of bed, she wrapped herself in her robe and waddled downstairs. She saw it was 3 in the afternoon Jacob would be coming home soon, it was raining outside, the weather reflecting her insides, dreary and miserable.
She downed two glasses of water feeling a bit better and decided to go back to bed; she had kept her phone off, as she crawled back into bed Gunner following her in. As she turned her phone back on and saw Daniel had given up texting her around noon. Good she could have some peace for a while.
She thought about all the times she had gone into the void and met Daniel, their first kiss when she had thought they were in her dream; she had done so many things she couldn’t believe she would have attempted if she knew he was really there. And before she learned to tie off her weaves, her clothes had been barely there at times no wonder he was after her, everything she had let him see, she felt cheap suddenly.
Her anger was growing inside her, she had deserved more of an explanation he hadn’t denied anything, just said he had never lied to her, he had left out so much…she
wanted to hurt him, she felt her phone buzzing she hoped it was Daniel, she was ready to give him a piece of her mind.
She looked it was Thomas asking where she had been today, she put the phone down, she didn’t feel like talking to him now, she turned her thoughts back to Daniel, she loved him, he had been everything to her, but her anger was covering all her love and was making her feel the opposite of love now, the negative side of her feelings was all that was manifesting for her now.
She filled the hole in her heart with all the negative emotions she could muster, she wasn’t going to let him break her, and she was stronger than that. She cuddled with the dog, he smelled of clothes on the line, fresh. He turned on his back wanting his belly rubbed. Selah told him all of her woes, he looked at her lovingly. She would only confess to him now, he was the only one who didn’t let her down.
She felt as if the hole her mom had left had grown enormous, with the loss of Daniel, he had filled everything up for her nicely, she had mourned for her mom but he had made the burden lighter, whereas now it all just came crashing down. She wished she could just forget the lies, but she just wasn’t made that way, the path she was choosing would leave her lonely and far from him, she wondered if he was feeling anything like she was, most likely he was glad it was over no more pretense, he could actually spend time with someone who was worth the effort.
He had told her he loved her, and some part of her had desperately wanted to believe that someone like him could love her, she had had a moment of overachieving, to believe she was someone special, and that he wanted her. She slipped into the vaguely familiar feeling of insecurities of the past; it was a comfortable feeling to go back to.
She had regained a friendship with Mia, how she had longed yesterday to tell Daniel that news, thinking he would have been so happy for her. She had to change her way of thinking, erase the past few weeks that held Daniel in them. No matter how much she tried to make the little mouse in her head sweep away those memories they return stronger and clearer than ever. He had brought more joy to her in a few weeks than she had ever experiences in all her 17 years on this earth.
She decided to let herself have just one day, she would remember all they were, every emotion every caress, then she would set them all aflame, let the past burn with the anger of betrayal that festered in her heart. She laid there and rode the waves of emotion that cursed thru her veins, the emotional roller coaster that had been her and Daniel; there had been more highs than lows.
Ecstasy he had shown her that; she had almost let him have ever part of her, shared her utmost secret places, she wondered if she would have regretted that if it had happened. But she knew even with all the pain, there wasn’t even a single moment she wished hadn’t happened with Daniel, and if she was completely honest she knew even the lie and the confrontation which they had had evoked a frenzy of emotion she knew could come from no other, he had burrowed like a tick, deep into the recess of her heart and soul, never to be removed without having a part remain.
She loved him, she hoped he would forgive her, she had perhaps acted hastily, he would call again and all would be well, unless he truly had been playing with her, she spent the remainder of the afternoon in battle with her thoughts on what Daniel was
thinking, every time she convinced herself he truly cared for her, her doubts dragged her down as she thought about him, it was like a tornado as it ripped and tore at her every turn, plaguing her with negativity.
She heard her dad and Jacob come home and put her pillow over her head hoping they would forget she existed at least for tonight. She dozed off for a while awaking to the cover of darkness when she heard a soft knock on her door.
“Selah, do you feel better? Dad wants to know if you’re gonna eat something?” Jacob opened her door a crack, he had spoken to Daniel a bit today and saw they both looked about the same, miserable, he decided to make a mental note to never be this stupid with a girl.
Selah opened he
r eyes they were swollen and it felt like she had grains of sand coating them, as she had cried and slept the day away. She didn’t feel a bit better; she knew she actually felt worse. Tomorrow she would drag herself out of here, she knew the longer she clung to her bed the harder it would be to return to the real world, her only consolation at the moment was that Daniel didn’t go to her school so no-one would know unless she told them.
And she didn’t even know if she would tell Thomas, she barely managed to get out of bed her body weak from no nourishment, she went into the washroom and glance at her reflection, death warmed over looked better than her at that moment.
She washed up the best she could, when she still looked terrible she decided to get in the shower instead, as she emerged with clean pj’s on and smelling cleaner she had to admit she felt better too. She made her way to the kitchen, she heard her dad strumming away on the guitar and Jacob yelling at the television screen, hockey was on and his favorite team was playing they must have been losing by his language. All she heard was him talking about the referees bad calls.
She looked into the living room as she messed up her face squinting and could picture Daniel sitting there with Jake just as enthralled in the game. This was harder than she thought, and it had only been a few hour and most of them she had been unconscious.
She saw they has made fries and burgers for supper she sat down and ate a cold burger, knowing that it tasted like sandpaper, not because it was cold but because her heart was aching and nothing could taste good at this time.
Peter watched his only daughter as she tried to pull herself together, her shoulders were slumped, and she was having trouble swallowing each morsel of food. She was pale and the swelling in her face told of her afternoon spent crying. He hoped he had made the right decision, Daniel had jumped at the change he had provided him, he had told him exactly what to do to have her begging him for forgiveness.
He supposed some part of him should feel he was betraying Selah but as he watched her he knew her stubbornness would have prevented her from apologizing to Daniel. He had heard Daniel’s side, he would wait until Selah was very calm before he tried to find out her portion in all this. As he pictured to when he saw them both together, their connection was amazing even Diana and him hadn’t been as close, this soon. That was what had helped him decide to intervene. He didn’t think anyone should throw away that kind of attachment. And something else was pushing him to help, and his gut told him he was listening to Diana, her having the last word in the situation.
Daniel was watching television it seemed like a particular boring program he kept drifting his thoughts all random, he had wanted to talk to Selah but Peter had told him the longer she had to sort out her thoughts and be alone the better his chances of being totally forgiven. And he had put all his hopes on his suggestion, he had to admit it was a good idea, he would have never thought of it himself.
And they had come up with a sure fire plan to melt her heart if she still had it hardened towards him. He had done a good thing befriending her whole family, they had stuck by him, he still met with Jacob at the rink to help him with his hockey and on the nights Selah worked he also went and practiced with Peter.
They had been filling him in on how she was doing, he had let his anger die down some but hadn’t chanced going back into the void simply because he didn’t trust himself with Caleb at this point. He knew he would eventually deal with him, and he hoped he had a higher power on his side.
Daniel’s mom had been extremely worried about him for the first few days after the breakup as he hadn’t slept and was a complete mess, but he had eventually succumbed to exhaustion. He had felt better after that much needed sleep, as the ideas Peter had put in his head began to take on form, he had discovered the perfect way to do it, make her fall this her knees. He wished he had thought of the idea but the acclaim went to Peter. He had done something like it for Diana when they were first going out and ‘she had been eating out of the palm of his hand ever since,’ his words exactly.
The past few days had left him with a deep weltering hole inside him, he did everything he could think of to keep busy, but the badminton thing had been a big no-no. He had wanted to even sneak a peak at her, but again Peter dissuaded him. He wanted to jump out of his skin, well he didn’t have to much longer to wait, and he could count the days on both his hands. It better work or Daniel was going to go mentally insane without her, he thought the hole was getting physically bigger with each passing day.
Selah had secretly wished that Daniel would call her, she had been sadly disappointed. She hadn’t heard from him in 3 days, her doubts about his feeling for her began to run deep. She had been right to dump him, it wasn’t mutual or so she thought.
Thomas had picked up their friendship right from where it had went stale, he was obviously glad to have her back full time, he complained because she had convinced him to find a date for the Valentine’s day dance and now he didn’t have the heart to break it off with Cindy.
As he went on a spiel about having to spend money on a suit and a corsage while she would be so lucky to be able to contently stay home and watch movies or do something absolutely mundane as listening to music, while he was being forced otherwise.
Selah listened half-heartedly to him drone on, she had never been able to let Daniel drift from her thought completely for more than a few minutes at a time. She had pictured them dancing the night away, her in her beautiful dress him in a nice suit, the dazzling debonair couple they were, the key word there was were, not are, pass tense nothing new happening here boys, all old news.
She never noticed as Colby sat there watching her, when the bell rang she motionlessly gathered her things and stumbled head first into him he had been waiting for her.
“Hey Selah, sorry I knocked into you, but did I hear Tommy boy say you were flying solo for the dance next Friday? Weren’t you going with that older guy Daniel Evans?” he looked cute as he had his thumbs tucked casually into his front pockets of his jeans, his stance looked self-confident and relaxed, Selah looked him over realizing she didn’t feel anything she used to feel for him rise to the surface.
Selah felt self- conscious at the mention of Daniel’s name, “No we’re not together anymore.”
“That’s too bad for him but maybe it could be my gain, his loss right? Do you want to go with me?”
She was about to flat out refuse him then saw the look of shock on Thomas’s face, he had been complaining she wasn’t going… and she would be able to wear her dress, Daniel’s dress she thought, no they were nothing… he couldn’t even call her. And if Thomas was shocked, then how would Daniel feel? Her mind made up, she had to move on and Colby had been her first choice before …so why not now?
She looked at him as he waited certain she wouldn’t let him down, “Yeah that sounds like fun.”
“Great I’ll pick you up around 7 or so, oh and I’m having a small gathering of some close friends after, it will be a good opportunity for you and I to get closer, right?” he took the chance and rubbed her back while winking at her.
Selah suddenly felt a shiver of regret run through her, but with her decision already made she wasn’t one to back off. As she thought it over she thought it was just her emotions playing with her, since it was so soon after her and Daniel’s argument. She left the classroom as she felt her whole body turn involuntarily.
Thomas swung her around and looked at her accusingly, “What was that, one second you mooning over Daniel, the next you’re going to the dance with Colby, you can’t be serious?”
Selah suddenly offended by the backlash she was getting from Thomas kept walking ignoring him, it was her life and she was tired of doing what everyone expected her to. She had been through the wringer lately by no choice of her own, she would be the one steering her ship from now on.
As Thomas stood there watching her walk off her knew she would live to regret her decision to go with Colby, she had been in her own world since her mom died
and hadn’t been aware of the vicious rumours that had surfaced about her and Daniel, he figured they had a lot to do with her invitation to the dance. He hoped he was wrong about it, he decided he would shut up about it and just try to be there for her, she was in the frame of mind that was impenetrable now, she had just proved it.
A few days later Selah was at work when she saw Mia and Brittany come in. They had been talking through text for the past week or so, so Mia, was up to date on the
Daniel and Colby situation. She had figured out a way to try and cheer up Selah, as they announced their plans to her as soon as Selah walked over to where they were sitting.
Selah had to admit even Brittany had been there for her in her time of sorrow over all her recent loses. They both had a twinkle in their eyes; a master plan to get her out of her slump, Selah’s curiosity was piqued to say the least.
“Ok out with it you two, what do you have planned?” She questioned them.
They glanced at each other and then Brittany started talking at once, “We were talking with Myra and they said they had tickets to see Mariana’s Trench in concert in the city, and we looked online and there’s still some tickets left for the floor, Mia said they were always one of your favorite bands, the concert is this weekend, so what do you think?”
Selah was shocked they were one of her favorite bands and she had always wanted to go see them live, it would make for a good distraction from Daniel for a while, she had bought their new album as it seemed to fit right in to her mood as of late. “How would we get there and back, don’t they usually run late we would have to stay in the city overnight, I don’t know?” she thought of all the money she had saved her only shopping trip had been for the dance. “How expensive are the tickets anyway sometimes they like 100 dollars or so.”
It was Mia’s turn to talk, “My mom said she would bring us and we could get a hotel room on her, she even said she would take us shopping a bit the next day, it’s perfect don’t you think, my mom can call your dad Selah, and besides you need this,” then she turned to Brittany “we all need the getaway, it’s been a miserable winter.”
Selah couldn’t disagree with that statement, “I guess it would be fun, to see Mariana’s Trench though…I mean wow that Josh Ramsey is so smoking hot, he sizzles! She playfully pretended that here finger was oozing smoke from touching an imaginary Josh. She had to admit seeing him that alone would be worth it, they giggled some more then agreed they would talk more later.
As Selah got home that night she decided she would approached her dad cautiously about the idea of going to the city. As he shocked her before she got a word out he quickly informed her “I got a phone call from Sharon saying you guys had planned this getaway, they already purchased your ticket ya know, I really think you should go Selah, you’ve been so sad since you and Daniel split, so I told her I would convince you to go, so no arguing and I going to give you some cash so you can have a good time shopping with the girls, I know it’s rough with just your brother and I here all the time, but this should help you get out of the funk you’ve been in lately, ok”
Selah lifted her eyebrows in shock and quickly shook her head in agreement hoping he wouldn’t change his mind. She was going to see one of her favorite bands, she thought instantly how much her mom would be excited about the concert she had loved them too. She called Mia and updated her on the situation and asked her to thank her mom for her.
She had been really sad lately, she had been so sure Daniel would have called her or texted by now, and her own doubts and insecurities had prevented her from calling
him. She hadn’t even had the guts to go over to the void since their argument she didn’t want the reminder.
As she thought about the weekend she found she was a bit excited about the whole trip, the change of scenery would be a welcomed relief, hopefully the thing she needed. The idea of going to the dance with Colby hadn’t made her the least bit excited even though she thought it would, and that was why she had accepted his proposal she hadn’t even told her dad about it, she would spring it on him at the last minute.
As she prepared herself for bed she went to listen to the stories with Jacob, she had been going every night lately. She seemed to be more comfortable in a melancholy mood as of late. She thought about Caleb perhaps he could explain what he knew of Daniel, she felt encouraged all of a sudden to go over there.
As she settled into bed it took no time for her to fall into her familiar routine and slip into the void. She was in her house but in the living room, she wandered outside and traveled to the beach she frequented with Caleb. There was no sign of him anywhere when all of a sudden she felt a pull she had no control as the scenery shifted before her and she found herself in a familiar place the park her mom always took her as a child there was someone on the swings she saw she walked over to have a closer look.
She took a sharp intake of breath as she saw who was swinging back and forth; she walked over expecting a totally different reaction. “Hey how are you?” as she held onto the hope of recognition.
The swing stopped abruptly and she got off, she walked over to Selah and held her close, “I have been waiting for you honey, I’m so glad you came.” Diana held her daughter in her arms.
Selah felt every bone in her body go limp as she released all her tension over the past few weeks. “Do you know who I am mom; are you really here with me right now?” Selah was desperate for her mom’s ear, she needed her.
“Yes it’s me I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you lately, but I’m here now I been appointed your official guardian angel, to watch over you, but since you can come here we can be together too, you’re blessed that way.” She stroked Selah hair like she did when she was a child.
“What do you mean appointed, weren’t you one before?”
“I wasn’t supposed to but after everything that happened the last time you were here, well I was asked to help you on your journey, and it’s my pleasure.” She sat down on the grass and brought Selah down with her, she wrapped her in her arms and kept playing with her hair.
The true meaning of her mother world of being asked to help her, slipped from her thoughts and she was left with only having her mom besides her instead “So every time I come here I will see you? And we can talk like this; you won’t be spaced out on the past or anything?”
“That’s right we can talk about whatever you like, I might not know all the answers but I’ll try.” Selah felt a hundred times better being with her mom.
“The fellow I came to meet tonight do you know anything about him, his name is Caleb.” Selah suddenly curious why her mom had been appointed and Caleb was gone.
“All I know is that he was sent away, what happened wasn’t right, he made a mistake. That’s all I was told to tell you.”
“What about Daniel do you know about him, mom?”
Diana looked at her daughter at the anguish on her face with the mere mention of Daniel’s name, “All I can say is Daniel is a good guy… Selah he hasn’t done anything wrong, I know it doesn’t make sense but there are things at play here that just can’t be explained right now, they will hopefully make sense soon.
Selah felt as if she had made a huge mistake with Daniel, and she didn’t know how to fix it or reach out to him, her pride and stubbornness kept her from him.
“So what can you tell me than mom?” her voice suddenly the same as when she was little and full of insecurities, asking for guidance.
“I can tell you that your special Selah and I’m not just saying this because you’re my daughter, I never told you this story and I think it’s time you heard it.” She lay down on the grass bringing Selah to her as they cuddled like spoons like they used to when she tucked her in bed and read stories.
“Your dad and I hadn’t been married long and we had gone away to this remote cabin that belonged to your dad’s late uncle, we were way in the woods no one around for miles, it was kinda of our honeymoon since we hadn’t gone away, we were dirt poor ba
ck then but we loved we loved each other almost fiercely then, we were having some cheap wine when your dad said he was gonna go get some wood for the fireplace, I went and sat outside just listening to the birds and all the wonderful sounds of the wood around us. I suddenly saw what looked like a huge star, I watched it descend I thought at first it was my imagination or the cheap wine playing tricks with my vision but it kept getting bigger.”
“I felt as light as air soon after the light was close enough I could touch it, I knew things were alright that I was safe. It felt like I was surrounded by love. I watched and felt that way for what seemed like hours but only a few minutes had passed, I had the urge to take a picture so I ran into the cabin and grabbed the camera then I snapped away taking picture after picture.” Selah turned on her back listening and watching her mom as she told the story.
“Back then there wasn’t digital cameras so I couldn’t see the pictures until I developed them, when I finally got the film to a camera store I was shocked to see all kinds of picture with just the woods, I remember your dad laughed because I had taken over half the film on some crappy pictures of the woods, no birds or deer, just trees and stuff, and they weren’t even nice pictures…I never told him or anyone about what I saw that night… But getting back to why I am telling you now, after that night when your dad came back we made a fire and we made love all night on the floor of that cabin, it was magical and I just knew we were creating something special… it has always been one of my best nights with your dad…and exactly nine months later you were born.”
Selah didn’t know what to say she was glad her mom had shared her conception, the light had her confused though, “What do you think it meant, the light you saw?”
Diana searched for the perfect words to relay to her daughter on how she felt, “I truly think you were blessed on that night Selah, that you were given special gifts, like being able to travel here to see me.”
Selah was quiet as she contemplated all she had learned tonight, could it be? Was she special, she had always felt different that others, but more a misfit of sorts, except here she felt comfortable, as if she truly belonged. Her mom’s story gave her a sense of truly belonging as she let her feelings overcome her; as she confided it all to her mom.
She felt so much better for the first time since her breakup with Daniel. And she had found some new strength to help her along. She said a small prayer in thanks for her new angel the best one she could have asked for. Whoever it was that was looking out for her, she owed a tremendous debt to. They had given her a great gift, her mom.
They continued to talk about everything she told her about the weekend trip and how they would be going shopping, Diana told her she would be there with her, just not visible, she would try to tell her when she picked out some nice clothes. She tried to explain to Selah to pay attention to any gut feelings and they would be her trying to communicate.
Selah hated leaving her mom since she had her again but knowing she could see her anytime helped her say goodbye for now, her mom had told her a little thing to do for Jacob to prove she was there for him also. As Selah slipped into her body again and felt into a deep peaceful sleep.
Parallel (Prophesied a spirit within,Book I) Page 12