“I should be the one apologizing. I keep you away from your house too long,” he said as he began straightening out the white down comforter on my bed.
I rushed over embarrassed. “I’ll take care of it.”
“I’ve got it,” he smiled nervously, taking a seat.
“Something wrong?” I asked, feeling a little tension.
“I haven’t been completely truthful with you, and it’s been bothering me.”
“Does this have anything to do with what Holden mentioned about my eyes?” My voice was hopeful.
“Yes,” he sighed. “Human’s eyes change when we become intimate with them. Only we can tell this difference; it’s sort of a territorial marking,” he explained.
“Does intimacy alter a soul?” My voice cracked.
“Temporarily.”
“Is this why you haven’t pressed the subject?” I asked, feeling slightly betrayed.
“Not completely. I would’ve given in long ago if that’s what you desired, but your intent on staying pure has been a relief.”
“Why?”
“Your abilities are rare, and if we took that next step, then I fear it could alter them and leave you weak and vulnerable,” he admitted. “I can’t have that happen…not now.”
“So we’ll never be able to…” I stopped.
“One day, but not until I straighten several things out.”
“I guess my silly traditional ideologies have actually saved my life,” I smirked.
“It would appear so,” he grinned. “Just having you in my life again is enough.”
“Would you want to be intimate with another?” I asked, fearing his response.
“Haley, why in the world would you ask that?” he asked, more hurt than angry.
“Because, it’s happened before.”
“I’m not Braden, and I wish you didn’t compare the two situations,” he grimaced. “I’m not a human man, so therefore I don’t need to be intimate. I only did it to pass time after she died, and there’s no mortal or immortal woman that could compare to how I feel for you. No one else would be good enough,” he confessed.
“I feel the same way,” I admitted. “But I do wish for us to be intimate one day,” I blushed.
“Don’t get me wrong, so do I, and it will happen.” He lightly traced my lips with his finger.
“Hopefully before I’m forty,” I said, enjoying his slight touch. I refrained from allowing my thoughts to wander about what our intimacy would be like—his touch was heated enough.
“I’m not talking about years, maybe months,” he smiled.
“Oh,” I said surprised, realizing it would be sooner than I anticipated.
“Is that too soon?”
“No, it just sounds weird to plan out something so emotional.”
He laughed lightly. “Isn’t that what you were planning with marriage?”
“Oh, yeah,” I sighed. “I guess it just feels so different now. I never thought I’d ever feel this way.”
“That’s what love is supposed to feel like,” he smiled. “At least what I know about it.”
“The feeling is stronger than I ever imagined.”
“Love is powerful,” he agreed. “And the word seems weak compared to how I feel for you.”
“It does,” I agreed, slightly yawning.
“Oh, Haley, you must be so tired.”
“I am a little,” I admitted.
“Go to sleep.”
I laid my head down on the pillow, feeling the cool pillowcase against my face. He slid into the bed beside me. His warm chest gently touched my back. “Goodnight my love,” he whispered in my ear before softly kissing my cheek.
“I love you,” I whispered. My eyelids were heavy, and I could no longer fight the urge to sleep.
22
Gone
I sprinted up several flights of stairs, almost knocking down a few meddling students. I could feel my chest expanding as I inhaled deeply. I hadn’t run this fast since the day I fled Braden’s apartment.
I rushed into the open doorway of room 202 to find Andrew sitting behind his desk. I quickly scanned the room to see if any other students were seated. To my relief no one had arrived yet.
“What happened?” I gasped, trying to catch my breath. “I’ve been calling you all day.”
“Sorry, I had to meet with a few business associates,” he answered flatly, casually glancing up at me. “I had forgotten all about these papers I needed to grade,” he said, holding up the stack.
His demeanor was unusual. He seemed distant and cold.
“You couldn’t call me to let me know?” I asked hurt.
“Sorry, Haley, I was busy.” His reply was icy.
I slammed my books down on his desk as hard as I could. “What’s wrong with you?” I seethed.
“Calm yourself,” he hissed under his breath.
I heard footsteps. One of my classmates was entering the room. I had never seen this side of him—not even the day Mr. Mitchell discovered our relationship was he this cold. I glanced back over my shoulder to see if my classmate was paying any attention to us, but she was digging through her purse.
I took this opportunity and pulled Andrew’s face to me. “What are you doing?” he said furiously.
“They’re black!” I gasped.
His eyes were black. There was no beautiful sparkle of any color. I would have even taken red at this very moment. Anger was better than hopelessness or uncertainty.
“Go take your seat,” he commanded.
“No.” I stormed out of the room, desperately hoping he would follow so I could have some time alone with him. I flew down the hall as fast as I could walk. I looked behind to see if he was following. There was no sign of him.
I turned back around trying to figure out what my next move would be. “Oh crap!” I shouted.
Andrew stood in front of me. His eyes were now red crystals. His nostrils flared. He nearly slung me inside the open janitor’s closet.
“What’s wrong with you?” he snarled.
“Your attitude,” I answered icily.
His eyes darkened from red back to black. “I have to leave for a few days,” he said, clinching the sleeve of my pink, puffy jacket.
My face dropped, and I started to panic. “Why?”
He looked away momentarily before answering. “A mission for the government.”
“Can I come with you?”
“No,” he said, shaking his head.
“How long have you known about this?”
“They told me this afternoon.”
“It took all day?”
“There were lots of details to go over,” he frowned.
“Why are your eyes black?”
“I’m not happy about this. I don’t like being away from you for such a long length of time.”
“Why are you being so cold?” I asked hurt.
“I thought maybe if you were angry with me, the time apart would be more bearable for you.”
I playfully smacked his arm. “Don’t do that again,” I sighed, resting my head against his warm chest. “You scared me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I thought missions only took hours?” I asked, remembering back to a previous conversation.
“This is a detailed one with human involvement, so I can’t just go in undetected and take care of business. It’s really quite frustrating.”
“When will you be back?”
“Hopefully by Sunday; Monday at the latest.”
“Oh,” I breathed. “When do you leave?”
“Tonight.”
“What?!” I half-shrieked.
“I know, but they didn’t give me much of a warning.”
“Are you planning on going through with the original plan?” I asked angrily.
He shot me a dirty look. “No,” he growled. “But I can’t blow my cover at such a critical moment for our safety.”
“This isn’t fair.”
“Life wi
ll never be fair, no matter what advantages one may have.”
“When tonight?”
“We’ll have a few hours after class to say our goodbyes,” he answered sullenly.
“I see.”
He pulled my body against his. He pressed his lips against my cheek and softly moved them along my face until he reached my lips. Our lips locked and we began to kiss passionately. He smashed my body against his. I grabbed his shirt, pressing forcefully against his body.
He pressed back almost pushing me against the opposing wall. “Sorry,” he whispered, as he placed his hand behind my back.
“I don’t mind,” I grinned widely.
He looked down at his watch. “We better get back to class.”
“It doesn’t seem important anymore,” I pouted.
“We have to stay the course for now.”
It was difficult to understand why he insisted on continuing with this façade. I understood our safety was his main concern, but teaching class would seem to distract, rather than help with our situation. His black, cold eyes had transformed to a beautiful amber color with the touch of our lips, but the warmth of that shade soon faded as we cautiously stepped out from the janitor’s closet. The halls were empty, as most students had already taken their seats.
Andrew entered the class after I took my seat. Every girl’s face in the room was lit up with delight as they watched him stroll along the front of the classroom. His differences from humans seemed so obvious, but then again I was aware of things that no other human was.
Every now and again he would look in my direction and flash a quick smile and wink. Although he had thousands of years experience on me, this all seemed new to him, which was comforting.
As the time grew closer to the end of class, my stomach knotted. The sooner class let out; the sooner he would be gone. Just being near him, even at a distance, was reassuring. We had not been away from each other for more than a few hours, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle it. His experience with absence was greater than mine.
Everyone began gathering their things and standing. I hadn’t even heard him dismiss class. In fact, I hadn’t heard one word he had said during his lecture. I frantically closed my notebook and shoved it in my bag. I watched as the last student filed through the door.
“You weren’t paying attention tonight, Miss Helms,” he smirked from across the room.
“No, I wasn’t,” I frowned.
“Haley,” he said as he drew closer to my desk.
“What?”
“It’s just a couple of days. You never know, it could be sooner than that before I return,” he said, attempting to raise my spirits.
“Or it could be never,” I muttered.
His warm hand instantly lifted my chin forcing me to look into his cold, dark eyes that did nothing to reassure. “I will be back. Do you actually believe that I’d fail?” he asked hurt.
“No, but what if the others grab you while you’re gone and you never return.” The words burned as they came out. Nothing in our situation was constant. Anything could happen at a moment’s notice that could potentially tear us apart forever.
“They won’t. Remember they have no desire to disappoint our parents and one disappearance could cause serious damage with our mortal relations.”
“I guess,” I agreed, but not willingly. I would have loved to keep challenging his confidence, but it would not have made him stay any longer and only would have ruined the little time we had with one another this evening.
“Come on,” he said, grabbing my hand and lifting me up from my desk effortlessly. “We have a few hours to enjoy, and I don’t want to spend them here, in the classroom.”
“My house?” I asked, assuming it would be the place as it was the safest.
“Not tonight.”
“Where then?” I asked, pleased with the change of scenery.
“I have something I’d like to give you. I’ll meet you at your house, and we shall go from there,” he smiled, closing the classroom door behind us.
He walked a little behind me as we made our way down the stairs. I would casually glance back at him. He would flash a quick grin, but seemed to be consumed with thoughts other than our current situation.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Sorry, I’m speaking with Alec and Holden at the moment.” His voice was distant and flat.
I had almost forgotten about his ability to speak with the others telepathically. “Anything important?” I pried.
“Nope,” he said quickly.
Something was definitely amiss, but I could not decipher the true reason, and he didn’t seem to be offering it either.
“That’s good,” I said as we neared the parking space where my car was parked.
“Haley, don’t worry so much. Nothing about my feelings for you has changed. I’m just consumed with the thought of my mission and eventually letting my other siblings in on my findings. I wouldn’t be doing any of this if it weren’t for you. You’re my whole reason for stopping this, so that we may be together without worry,” he said, lightly pushing me up against the cold metal door of the car.
My lips opened to speak. But before I could, he softly placed his finger over them. “Everything I do is for you,” he whispered. “Nothing in the world compares to the love I have for you.” His lips gently brushed along my cheek as he continued to whisper.
His lips stopped on mine. He pressed his body up against mine a little harder, but I could feel him restraining from pushing too hard. My knees slightly buckled as the sparks continuously flowed throughout. I slipped slightly from his grip, but not too far with his impeccable reflexes.
He slipped the keys out from my hand. “I’ll bring your car home after we’re done.”
“I can drive,” I assured hastily.
“Do I detect something wrong?” he asked, cautiously pulling away.
I wasn’t sure if it was pure embarrassment of almost falling or if it was the confusion from his words and his actions. “You’re so cold one minute, and the next you’re conveying your feelings for me. It’s like you’re schizophrenic,” I said, ripping the keys from his hand.
“I’ll meet you at your house if you still want to spend what time we have left together,” he said miffed.
“Of course, I want to spend time with you.”
“I’ll see you at your house,” he said stiffly, as he opened my car door and turned away.
“Andrew!” I called out for him, upset with the timing of my statement.
He turned around slowly. “I’ll see you at your house,” he repeated coldly, quickly disappearing.
As I drove, I replayed our conversation in my head. I was unclear as to why my words had struck such a chord with him. I really did not believe he was schizophrenic, but his actions tonight had upset me, and I could not shake that something else was happening that he did not wish to discuss.
Pulling into my driveway, I could see the light from my bedroom on through the window. This was a glimmer of hope that he was already here, and I hadn’t upset him so much that he had decided to leave early.
I hastily pushed open my bedroom door. There stood Andrew, leaning against the wall like a statue—a stone statue of an ancient God. His dark eyes flickered in my direction. I could tell he still wasn’t pleased with my last statement.
I slowly walked over to him; watching him carefully to ensure he desired my company. “I don’t really believe you’re schizophrenic,” I said softly.
“I know you don’t.”
“But you’re quite temperamental,” I said, lightly cracking a smile.
“I am,” he agreed, but no smile appeared.
“I’m sorry if I upset you in anyway.”
“I know you meant no harm with your words. I’m not upset with you. I’m more ashamed of myself for the poor job that I’ve done of expressing my feelings for you,” he sighed heavily.
“I know you care for me.”
He rushed to
my side and swept me up like a rag doll, placing me on the bed. My head swirled a little as I tried to gain composure and my sight. His eyes brightened in to a golden citrine color.
“That’s just it,” he gasped.
His actions startled me a little and my body stiffened. “What is it?” I croaked.
“You really don’t understand my feelings, do you?” he asked almost in disbelief.
“I know you say that I’m everything to you, but I guess I don’t really grasp what that means,” I said ashamed of my inability to accept his true feelings.
“I curse Braden for making you so skeptical,” he said, gritting his teeth. “If I’d come sooner, then none of your skepticism would be present in our situation.”
“It isn’t his fault,” I disagreed. “It’s no one’s fault, but my own. I analyze things too much.”
“I know you do. I see it in your eyes. It saddens me that I can’t make you realize that you’re everything to me. There’s no other mortal or immortal—nothing—that I desire more than you.” His voice begged for me to understand.
“There isn’t one woman in the world that would not love to have a man tell her these things, even if just for a day, and I have you telling me that you’ll love me until the end, but it just doesn’t seem possible.”
“But it is—it is possible.”
“My own mother even bailed on me, so forgive me for being skeptical, but I think I’ve done a pretty damn good job at believing all of this.” I could feel the tears, but I refused to look weak at this moment.
“Oh, Haley, you’ve been wonderful at accepting me for who I am, but you don’t accept my feelings for you. You want to, but you don’t,” he sighed heavily.
“I’ve read several books on love like this, but I never dreamt that they could come true. I’ve read many books about history, but I never dreamt that I would meet a major player in those books either. I believe you’re real, but when you tell me that you’ve tricked humanity for your own pleasure, misleading us for centuries, please understand my concerns,” I said, unable to hold back the tears any longer.
A twisted look was upon his face. His lips parted, but I placed my finger over them.
“I know for sure that I feel more for you than I’ve ever felt or ever imagined—and I don’t want that feeling to go away—but I know it could at any moment. You could disappear, and I’d be left with yet another piece of my heart missing.”
Discern (Discern Saga, Book #1) Page 32