by Todd, E. L.
Ryan had come to blows with the guy that was giving him a hard time earlier. Blood dripped from his nose but he seemed to be okay. The man looked far worse, bleeding from his head and his mouth. When Ryan saw Janice, he held up his hand to her to stop her. At that moment, the man took advantage of his distraction and charged him.
Janice screamed. “Stop!”
The man pushed Ryan to the ground and hit him in the face, making his head slam into the tile.
Without thinking, we both ran to his rescue. My heart accelerated in my chest as I realized I was about to jump into the fight. But I didn’t care. My brother needed help and I wasn’t afraid to take a hit. If my brother was going down, I was going down too. I jumped on his back then gripped him by the throat. The man started to scream.
“NO!” Ryan screamed. He tried to push me off but I wouldn’t let him.
Janice came to the side and started pushing the guy off Ryan.
Ryan grabbed her shoulder and shoved her back, pushing her so hard she slid across the floor out of harm’s way. The man and I were already toppling over and his back rolled on top of me, making me gasp for air. Ryan was there immediately and pulled him off, freeing me. Ryan didn’t hit him again.
“Stop!” he commanded as he raised his hand. “I don’t want to fight.”
The man rubbed his neck while he glared at Ryan. I was still on the floor, overcoming the pain from my ribs.
“Leave,” Ryan said. “Now.”
“Fuck you.” The man stormed out, practically breaking the door off the hinge.
Ryan came to me and pulled me to a stand. “You okay?” He lifted up my shirt and looked at my stomach. There were no bruises.
“I’m fine, Ryan.”
“Thank god.”
He turned away then grabbed Janice by the arm violently. “WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?”
She stepped back. “I can’t stand by and do nothing.”
“Then you call the cops,” he said, yelling into her face. Spit flew from his mouth because he was so angry.
I didn’t think of that. When I saw Ryan losing the upper hand, I had to jump in. It would have taken too long to wait for the feds to show up. By then, Ryan could have been dead and the man would have moved in on us next.
“Ryan—”
“Shut the fuck up! Don’t you ever do anything like that again.”
“I was scared.”
“I don’t give a shit. If something happens to me, you run away. Don’t ever jump into a fight with a two-hundred pound guy covered in tattoos. Don’t be fucking stupid.”
“I had to help you.”
“I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN LET YOU RISK YOUR LIFE.”
She closed her eyes as he yelled at her. “Why isn’t Scarlet getting any repercussions?”
“Oh she will,” Ryan said viciously.
I didn’t like the sound of that. “Thanks for throwing me under the bus.”
Janice said nothing, her eyes glued to Ryan’s. “I’m sorry.”
“I’ll never forgive you.” He released her arm then turned to me, his eyes wide with unspent rage. His arms shook like he would punch me. I wouldn’t be surprised if he did. That’s how mad he was. “He could have smashed your head against the tile and killed you. I’m even more disappointed in you.”
“You’re my brother and you needed help. I would do it again.”
That just pissed him off even more. “I could slap you right now.”
“You would have done it for me.”
“You are such a fucking brat, you know that? Those are completely different situations.”
“No they aren’t.”
“I have a dick and you don’t, smartass. Wait until Sean hears about this. I hope he talks some sense into you.”
I stared him straight in the eye, my confidence never shaken. “Ryan, I would die for you. You can tell Sean and Cortland what I did, you can hate me forever, I really don’t care. I’ll always be there for you.”
He slammed his fist against his chest. “I can’t fucking talk to you right now.” He walked past Janice then grabbed a broom before he started sweeping the glass on the floor into a dustpan.
Janice grabbed the broom and handed it to me. “I’m going to clean Ryan’s face.” I took it and held it in my grasp. When she grabbed Ryan’s arm, he jerked it away quickly.
“Don’t touch me,” he snapped.
I never heard him talk to Janice like that before. I knew she crossed a line she could never uncross. When they walked in the back, I started to clean up. There was glass from a broken painting that crashed to the floor. His equipment and needles was scattered everywhere. I wondered how their argument escalated to a physical fight so quickly. Ryan was quick to throw a punch when he was out and about, but when it came to work he was always really professional. He would never physically attack someone unless it was in self-defense.
I heard them yelling from the bathroom so I stayed in the front of the store. Fortunately, the work day was over so no more customers were coming in. I called Sean but it went straight to voicemail. It was nice just to hear his voice. I cleaned up the place as much as possible until it looked like nothing happened at all. When Ryan returned, his face was free of blood but the anger was still blazing in his eyes. I felt bad for Janice.
We left the shop then returned to the apartment. Ryan didn’t touch Janice at all in the cab. His hands were crossed over his chest, cutting off his body from her. I saw her place her hand on his thigh, but he pushed it away. I understood why Ryan was so angry at both of us. He just wanted us to be safe. I knew something horrible could have happened to both of us, but I refused to stand by and watch just so I didn’t get any scratches or bruises. The man seemed really intent on causing Ryan as much pain as possible. I would never let that carry on without some intervention.
“What happened?” I asked.
Ryan and Janice were both silent. Janice was staring at her lap, trying not to cry, and Ryan stared out the window, his body turned away from her.
“Why did you fight?” I asked.
“He wanted the tattoo for free since I was late. I told him no.”
“So he tried to leave without paying and you wouldn’t let him?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you think he’ll call the cops or something?”
“No. Two witnesses against none are slim odds. I’d like to see him try to file charges, especially when he threw the first punch. The cameras caught everything. If anything, I should sue that fucker for attempted robbery, assault, and attempted murder.”
“Will you?” I asked.
He stared at the people walking down the street as the cab drove closer to the apartment. “No.”
As selfish as it was, I was glad he wasn’t going to pursue it. If we were leaving for New York, then there wouldn’t be any time for that. Who knows how long we’ll be there. When the cab pulled over, Ryan paid the driver then we left the vehicle. We walked to the apartment, not speaking to each other the entire way.
Ryan unlocked the door. “Stay here.” He glared at Janice, silently threatening her if she defied him.
“Okay,” I said for the both of us.
Ryan walked inside then searched the apartment. He came back a few minutes later and ushered us inside. Ryan walked into his bedroom then slammed the door as loud as he could. We both flinched at the sound. Janice sat on the couch with a sigh, even more miserable than she was earlier.
I sat next to her. “Don’t worry about him.”
“He’s never been this angry with me,” she whispered. She clenched her hands together tightly and stared at the television screen, lost in her own misery.
“But he’ll get over it.”
“I hate hurting him but I couldn’t do nothing. You understand, right?”
“I totally understand,” I said as I patted her hand. “Ryan is just—protective.”
“This has been such a shitty day.”
I sighed. “The worst one I’ve ever had.�
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“I’m sorry about Sean but we’ll figure it out.”
I stood up then walked down the hallway. “I’ll be right back.”
She watched me go but said nothing.
I knocked on Ryan’s door.
“Go the fuck away,” he snapped.
“It’s me.”
“Is that supposed to matter?” he said through the door. “I don’t want to look at either of you right now.”
“I need to talk to you about something.”
“Talk to your wrestling partner out there.”
“Stop being annoying and just open the door.”
He growled then opened it. “What?”
“I want to talk about Sean.”
He stared at me. “And what needs to be said?”
“I need to go to New York.”
“How’s that going to help? Are you trying to be bait?”
“If Sean is right, then Carl already knows where I live and where you live. If anything, we’ll be safer in the city. Besides, I need to be there for Sean.”
His rage seemed to disappear for a moment. “I don’t think that’s a good idea until we know more information. We need to stay out of sight.”
“That’s fine, but I want to be in the same city as him. It’s safer.”
He nodded. “You’re probably right.”
“So can we go?”
“Yeah. I’ll have to figure out what to do about the shop.”
“I didn’t even think of that.”
“Of course not. You are selfish just like your annoying best friend.”
“Ryan, she meant well. Just let it go.”
His face turned red with his anger. “I’m not having this conversation with you. I’ve never been more pissed in my life.”
“She was trying to protect you.”
Ryan slammed the door in my face. After a sigh, I returned to the living room. I could tell Janice heard everything by the water in her eyes. “He’ll come around,” I said quickly.
She and I watched television, unable to work because we were both too depressed to read. When it got late, I wanted to go into my bedroom but I was too scared to sleep. I would just have nightmares the whole time.
“I guess I’m sleeping on the couch,” Janice said as she grabbed a few blankets and laid them out.
Ryan walked into the room and just stared at her. When she felt his gaze, she looked back at him. He said nothing then walked away. Janice seemed to understand the silent conversation.
“Good night,” she said as she left the living room.
Since the house was quiet I decided to go into my bedroom. After I lay down, I called Sean again but it went straight to voicemail. I wondered if his phone was taken away or if the battery died. I listened to his voice over and over until I thought I could fall asleep. The gentle sound of the headboard tapping against the wall played in the background. A few of Janice’s quiet moans escaped their bedroom and landed on my ears. I blocked out the sound then fell asleep.
The nightmares descended and I felt a knife around my throat, Carl laughing as he cut into the skin. When he was finished with me, he moved to Sean and did the same. He killed my entire family, saving Ryan for last. The nightmare faded but was replaced by another. Sean was in jail and he was beaten to death by another inmate. The tears slid down my cheeks until I finally woke up, sobbing. I controlled my breathing until I wasn’t hyperventilating anymore. Now I was scared. Every sound in the house made me flinch. I hugged myself then called Sean, listening to his voice. My heart was still pounding so I took my blanket and pillow and went into Ryan’s bedroom.
The door was open so I didn’t need to knock. They were both asleep in bed, completely clothed. When I walked inside, Ryan heard me. He sat up and stared at me in the dark.
“Can I sleep in here?” I asked. I felt horrible for asking. Ryan was practically married now and needed his privacy. But I was too scared not to ask. “I can’t sleep. I—I’m too scared.”
“I can hear everything in the apartment, Scar. Don’t be scared.”
I held the pillow to my chest. “Please?” I begged.
He sighed then nodded.
I walked to the floor beside their bed then laid my stuff on the ground.
He got out of bed, wearing his basketball shorts and a shirt, then pulled the blankets down. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“No,” I said quickly. “I’m already intruding enough.”
“Scar, it’s fine. I don’t want you lying on the floor.”
“I don’t mind.”
He kneeled and grabbed everything from the floor. “I’ll sleep on the couch, then.”
Janice sat up. “No. I’m sorry, Scar, but no. Ryan sleeps with me.”
I looked at him. “Please just let me sleep on the floor. I don’t want to make this anymore inconvenient for you.”
Janice grabbed Ryan’s hand and pulled him back to bed. “Let her sleep on the floor.”
“Okay,” he said as he lied beside her.
I fixed the blankets then lied on the floor, feeling the strain against my back. It was still better than sleeping across the hall by myself. I felt safe close to Ryan, knowing he would protect me. With him a few feet away, I actually fell asleep. When we were little, he always used to protect me from our mom in the middle of the night. Now I was dependent on him when I was afraid. It wasn’t fair to Janice that I was hogging Ryan, but I knew she would understand in light of the situation.
3
As soon as I woke up the next morning I left their bedroom, wanting to give them privacy. I knew Ryan didn’t mind letting me sleep in the same room, but I knew it was awkward because of Janice. He was exclusively hers and I understood that. It was just hard sometimes, especially during a hardship like this.
I drank coffee at the table and called Sean again. There was no answer. I had no appetite so I didn’t make any breakfast. When I heard their headboard slam into the wall, I knew they were awake and aware that I wasn’t in the room anymore. I hadn’t even been a part from Sean for a day and I already missed him like crazy. I just wanted to talk to him. I was anxious to get to New York.
Ryan and Janice came into the living room awhile later. I could tell Ryan was still pissed off at her by the way he didn’t look at her. His gaze never met hers and he wasn’t sweet to her like he always was. She had to pour her own cup of coffee and pull out her own chair. Ryan didn’t join us at the table. Instead, he took the newspaper into the living room, sitting on the couch.
“I’m sorry about last night,” I whispered.
“It’s okay, Scar. I know you’re scared.”
“I just don’t mean to infringe on your relationship—that’s all.”
“As long as you don’t do it all the time, I don’t mind.”
“Thanks. I just had nightmares all night and every sound in the house made me jump.”
“Ryan has a gun and he knows how to use it.”
My eyes widened. “He does?”
“He usually has it at the shop but he took it home. He was wearing it all day yesterday.”
“That just makes me more paranoid. I’m afraid he might need it.”
“Let’s hope he doesn’t,” she said as she stirred her coffee. She stared into the glass and sighed, obviously still depressed.
“He’ll come around,” I said, reading her mind.
“We’ve had our differences before but he’s never acted this way.”
“Well, it was a really bad situation.”
She sighed again.
“If you still have sex, that’s a good sign.”
“But it didn’t mean anything. He made that clear.”
“Yes it did. Ryan’s in love with you. Don’t ever lose faith in that.”
“Okay.”
If Ryan heard our conversation, he pretended he didn’t, or didn’t care about what we were saying.
When there was a knock on the door, Ryan was the first to respond. “Stay.”
I
glared at him. “We aren’t dogs.”
“Since you don’t listen to me, I have to fucking you treat you like one,” he snapped. He looked through the peephole before he opened the door. “Hey, man. Thanks for coming.”
Cortland walked inside with his arm around Monnique. She seemed sad, miserable. Her eyes were red like she had been crying, and her lips were most from previous tears. She clung to Cortland like he was supplying her with any life she had left. I wondered if she knew about everything.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
Monnique said nothing.
Cortland kissed her on the head before he came closer to the table. “Monnique’s mom passed away.”
“Ohmigod,” I blurted.
Janice gasped. “I’m so sorry.”
Monnique’s eyes became teary so she blinked them back. “Yeah.”
I stood up and hugged her tightly, patting her back. Janice moved in next then embraced her. Ryan came afterwards, saying his condolences. When everyone was done comforting her, we stepped back.
“Take a seat,” Ryan said, pulling out her chair.
Cortland guided her down and stood next to her.
“When did it happen?” I asked.
“A few days ago,” she said quietly. “Car accident.”
“We’re sorry for your loss, Monnique,” Ryan said.
She nodded, unable to speak.
Cortland rubbed her shoulders before he dropped his hands. “It’s been a really bad week.”
“I can imagine,” I said.
“Monnique was close to her mom,” he said.
No one responded to that.
Cortland looked at Ryan. “So what did you want to talk about?”
I felt my heart race. “Ryan, can I talk to you for a second?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
I grabbed his hand and pulled him away. “Just come.”
He jerked his hand away but followed me into the living room. “What?”
“Don’t tell Cortland about what’s happening.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “Why not?”
“Because of Monnique.”
“I’m not following.”
“If we tell him what’s going on, he’ll come with us. He’ll flip out and never leave my side because he’ll be so worried about me.”