“Yeah, and?”
“She wanted to start a friendship with you, Kael.” Kael’s shoulders sag. “She wanted to know about you.”
“But it doesn’t….”
“A person like that, Skye, to take the time and build a friendship with you, to look after and truly care for you,” Janus strokes a thumb across Kael’s eyes, they close. “She wouldn’t want you to blame yourself for something that was out of your control.” Kael says nothing, his lips still. Janus looks at Kael’s face and slowly moves his hand back. “Please, promise that you’ll get some sleep tonight, your majesty.” He says backing the car out of the parking lot. Kael nods, his eyes slowly opening. “Okay…Janus.” His lips curl up at Kael’s reply and they drive off into the street.
~*~
Aiden suddenly awakens, his eyes shot open, his heart racing. He looks around trying to configure his surroundings. There was the familiar smell of vegetables boiled a few hours previous, stale perfume and burning candles. He was home. He relaxes into the couch and stares up at the ceiling. Slowly the white merges into a deep brown, the color of Kael’s eyes. Aiden stares at the ceiling, his lips tingling for some odd reason. What happened? They walked around, went to a greenhouse, and had a few drinks and then….
“Shit.” Aiden curses realizing that he had blacked out. So where was Kael now? The question slips into his thoughts, he closes his eyes trying to remember the last thing he saw of Kael. His eyes coming to a close, the tip of his nose and then his lips. Aiden shakes his head, bringing a finger to his lips. Could we have kissed? B-bump, b-bump, Aiden’s heart skips its normal rhythm at the mention of the word ‘kiss.’ He dazedly runs a thumb over his bottom lip and thinks about what it would be like to kiss Kael. Are his lips soft or are they chapped? Maybe a mix of both…unlike himself he giggles, his feet kicking and then he abruptly stops. No, I can’t. He swallows running a hand down his face and sighing. “I better shower….” The second he tries to get up, there’s a dull ache in the left side of his head. “Ouch…”
“Mmm, Aiden.” His eyebrows raise at the feminine voice. “Mom?” He calls looking around the room, finally his eyes land below him. Lying on the floor, her head resting on an oversized pillow, was Jenna. A cold sweat breaks out along Aiden’s spine. “Jenna.” He calls softly, the young woman doesn’t stir. Aiden watches her sleep and as he’s watching her, he realizes something. He places a hand to his heart and then touches his cheek, he listens for an interruption in his breathing and when all of these things appear normal; even the way he’s feeling…he knows. “Jenna…” he calls her name again, but this time he said it in a forlorn way. His heart had changed.
He reaches down and brushes away a strand of her that was stuck between her lips. Her breath was warm on the back of his fingers and her eyelashes were long. Aiden thought for a moment about Kael’s eyes, the way they were shaped and how long his lashes were and then he shakes his head. He rises up and walks to his room, he stretches along the way, ruffling his ashen hair. He pulls the blanket off of his bed and trudges back into the living room. He stands over Jenna and then with a small smile, he drapes the blanket over her shoulders, tugging it over her small feet until she was fully covered. “Sleep well.” He murmurs, placing two fingers to his lips and then to her forehead. He walks to the bathroom, closes the door and leans against it. He buries his face in his hands and he feels as though he wants to cry and scream; something’s ripping in him. He stumbles towards the faucet placing his hands on the marble countertops, slowly looking up to peer at his reflection. He looks into his eyes and then towards his lips. They were dry, probably from drinking and the habit he has of licking them. He turns the faucet water on, letting it run. He touches his lips again and shudders when he suddenly thinks of Kael holding him by his shoulder and leaning down until their lips pressed together.
“No.” He splashes water onto his face to get rid of the thoughts, even though—in his heart—he knew that it was too late. Suddenly he remembers his drunken habits and another dose of humiliation washes over him. “I wonder what I said…” He pats his pockets in search of his phone and pulls it out. There were two texts from Kael, one at ten and another exactly two hours later at midnight. The first message read: I brought you home, make sure you shower and drink some water. Try not to think so hard about tonight, I had fun
Aiden smiles to himself and reads the second message, it was a little longer and scrambled. “You…uhm…I may have done something, but don’t worry, it’s already forgotten, but, I—you said something about hating this guy and it…are you okay? Talk to me…secrets, I have them too, we don’t know everything about each other and maybe that’s what’s best. I ran into Jenna at your place—your mom’s nice—I feel guilty Aiden…” Aiden pauses, stopping the faucet water and squinting at the last words in the text. “I feel guilty.”
“About what, Kael?” Aiden turns his phone off slamming it face down onto the counter. He closes his eyes and counts his breath. “I don’t know what to do…” his voice breaks off. “Sister, I’m…falling for someone…” He runs a hand through his hair and sits on the lid of the toilet. “I just…he’s a mystery to me, he’s completely captivating and smart and refreshing.” Aiden bites his bottom lip. “Why aren’t you here? I need to talk to you!” he shouts and then remembers that his parents are asleep in the room adjacent from the bathroom. He lowers his voice and sits in the silence. “Secrets…I don’t like them…should I tell him the truth?” Aiden looks towards the compact window. “If I do…will he tell me his?” Aiden directs his question towards the moon, he’s not expecting an answer, so he decides on his own. “What did I say while I was drunk?” He wonders if he had slipped up and told Kael the truth about his job off campus, that he was a bodyguard in training. Did he mention the Prince and his deceased sister? “Damn it, you’re such an idiot.” He strips out of his clothes and takes a long shower, the hot water beating down against his back and reddening his skin.
Standing outside of the bathroom and wrapped tightly in a blanket, Jenna listens, her bottom lip trembling, and a silent cascade of tears fall from her eyes.
Foolishly Hurting
Janus sits up in his bed, glancing towards the window when he hears the sound of singing birds. Their tweets sounded out of tune and were quite piercing. With a groan he stands to his feet and walks towards the curtains, he pulls them closed because the sun was hurting his eyes. “Another day begins.” He announces pulling his shirt up and over his head and tossing it aside. He unzips his pants, shoving his bangs out of his eyes and slipping into the bathroom. The door closes with a resounding click. Kael was awake, he had never really fallen asleep; his mind couldn’t rest, not after last night. He brings two fingers to his lips and sighs. “I kissed him…” He murmurs and then he says it again. “I kissed him.” It doesn’t really sink in until the third time. “I kissed him.” Kael’s eyes close and a light laugh breaks from him, his heart flutters. It was kind of a euphoric feeling, he felt light headed and at ease. He spins around on his heel and walks speedily to his room door. He pauses when he hears voices just outside his door. “He came home late.” It was his mother. “I’m worried about him.”
“No need to fret, dear.” His father, Kael places his hand to the doorknob and slowly twists it. “He’s a young man, I’m sure he’s just found a pretty girl to chase after.” Kael blinks at his father’s words and he’s struck with the realization that he had kissed Aiden—another man. “A girl?”
“Yes, maybe he’s beginning to see someone.” All the times Kael has gone out with Aiden as friends would do, flashed through his mind and he leans away from the door. “Now that I think about it, isn’t it time we start looking for a fiancée for Kael?” Kael takes a step back. “A….fiancée?” The King echoes and she nods. Kael turns away from the door and slowly sinks into his bed. He pulls the blanket up and wraps himself in it, he squeezes his eyes shut and lets out a long breath. “Haaaaaah.” It was bound to happen, they would begin the
search of finding Kael someone to marry so that the family line would continue. He knew it was coming and initially he hadn’t cared, but now the circumstances were slightly different. Now that he’s met Aiden, now that he’s kissed him—Kael places a hand over his heart—it’s different. He lifts his knees up and presses them into his chest. He buries his head in his knees. “What if I don’t like women…?” He questions, his voice low. Kael tries once again to shut everything out, squeezing his eyes shut and thinking about a past without Skye. Oh, how things would have changed.
Janus steps out of the shower, a plume of steam following behind him as he opens the bathroom door. He hurries to get dressed, checking his watch and walking over to the little dresser beside his bed. He takes out the key underneath his pillow, twists it into the dressers’ lock and pulls the little door open. He stares down at the pistol placed in the drawer and reaches inside to pick it up. The metal was cool against his hand and it shone with sleek silver. He turns the safety on, places the gun in the holster around his waist and locks the drawer back. Janus always carried his gun, he wouldn’t let himself leave the castle without it, especially whenever he was escorting Kael somewhere. His main priority has always been the same: Protect the Prince. He gives his reflection a once over before walking out of his room and towards where the Prince lay. Kael was still huddled on his bed, his hands in his hair. He flinches when his room door is opened. “Mom…” Kael calls. “It’s me your majesty.” Janus replies and Kael’s shoulders lose some of their previous tension. “Janus…”
“How are you feeling?” The blanket slips off of Kael’s shoulders, he lifts his head to look at Janus. “I didn’t sleep much.” Janus rushes forward and grips Kael’s chin to lift his head and check under his eyes. “You really didn’t…” He pauses. “I can get my little brother to bring you your lessons from your classes.” Kael shakes his head. “It’s alright, I can drink some coffee and ta-dah, magic.” Kael wiggles his fingers and pulls his head back out of Janus’s grip. Janus stares at him trying to configure his smile. Kael looked alright except for the dark circles under his eyes, there were no scratches on his arm or on his neck. He leans back with a sigh and straightens himself. “I’ll be waiting outside, your majesty.” Janus bows, Kael nods before shooing Janus away. He falls back onto his bed and runs a hand down his face.
~
Jenna was quietly preparing breakfast for Aiden and his parents, her back was to him. Aiden didn’t know how to approach her; what to say, how to explain it. He hoped she wouldn’t ask, but that wouldn’t solve anything, so he starts slowly. “Jenna…”
“Hmm?” She flips the eggs in the skillet, they sizzle. Poppoppop—they went. “Last night—“
“Kael brought you home,” She cuts in with a laugh. “He was so surprised to see me, hah.” The eggs pop some more, the smell permeating the air. Aiden shifts in the wooden chair, his feet tapping against the floor. “You really shouldn’t get drunk around your friends like that.” She continues. “You become vulnerable and quite idiotic.” Aiden places a hand to the back of his neck. “Sorry…”
“Don’t apologize to me,” She scoops the eggs out and places them onto a plate. “You should tell Kael you’re sorry for causing him so much trouble.” Aiden’s eyes widen. “You—you aren’t upset?”
“Why would I be? Kael’s a sweet guy…and…” She pauses.
“…..”
“Jenna?” more silence follows. She clears her throat. “You guys are becoming good friends.” Aiden couldn’t tell how she was truly feeling since he couldn’t see her face, so he rises up from his seat and approaches her. His arms wrap around her waist as he hugs her from behind. “I’m sorry.” She places the spatula down and swallows. She knew what he was apologizing for and quietly under her breath she says, “You should be.” Aiden bends down and rests his head on her shoulder and slowly they sway side to side. “Jenna...”
“What?” Her tone was sharp emphasizing the hurt she felt and she had every right to be upset. Aiden takes a deep breath. “I…uhm, Kael, he…” He stops, why was he telling her this? What would that bring to their relationship except heartache? “I rather you tell me what you’re feeling, instead of just one day leaving me.” Her voice eases into his thoughts, he leans back and looks at the side of her face. “I…” She starts softly. “I see…how you look at him…it hurts knowing that there’s someone else who can make you smile like that.” She brushes a strand of hair out of her eyes. “I always thought that I would be the one to comfort you, to make you laugh and to hug you; hold you in every-way.” The refrigerator hums behind them. “I should have known that something was going on.”
“Jenna we haven’t done anything.”
“It may not be physical, but it’s mental Aiden.” His arms drop away from her. “And it’ll eventually become physical, as much as you may say that you don’t see yourself with a man,” She laughs sourly. “It’ll come to that because what Kael sees in you and what you see in him…” Her heart was hurting as she spoke. “Eventually you’ll want to feel that, to touch him.”
“Jenna I would never, what I feel—”
“Don’t give me that Aiden!” He flinches. “Don’t you dare try to deny it, because it’s only going to hurt us both in the end.” She breaks away from him and hurries to the kitchen table. Aiden slowly turns to look at her and his heart gives a kick at the sheen on her cheeks. She had been crying. “You may not know it or you may not want to know it, but you like Kael.”
“Jenna…”
“It’s deeper than ‘like’ Aiden, it surpasses what we have and that,” Her voice cracks. “That hurts me.” She brings a hand to her chest. “It really, really hurts.” She was struggling to get the words out. “I know…you didn’t do it purposely, I know it wasn’t your intention to hurt me, but fuck,” That was one of the first times in a long time that Aiden has heard her use that word. She only allowed herself to curse whenever she’s frustrated or when she’s in pain. “It hurts.” She roughly wipes her eyes when her tears begin to fall again. “Damn it.” She grumbles, Aiden stands across from her, his hand hesitating to reach out and wipe her tears. “I don’t want to end this with you, Jenna.” He says softly, she laughs and with a smile she says. “You have to.”
“Why?” He steps closer to her. “If you don’t want to hurt me anymore than you already have…just end it.”
“I said I don’t want to.” Her expression twists into a glare. “Then do you want me waiting and waiting for the moment you realize that you don’t feel the same anymore. Waiting for the moment you run into his arms and say that you love him.”
“I wou—”
“Don’t say that you would never, because you don’t even know that you like him, so how will you know that you’ve fallen in love with him?” Aiden was stupefied. “Hnn? Can you answer that, Aiden?” Her tone was mocking and she wore a sneer. “I’ll eat breakfast with your parents like nothing has changed, but I want you to tell them—when I leave—that we’re no longer together.” She turns away from him. “Please…don’t reach out to me for a while.”
“Jenna.”
“I’m not ending our friendship, Aiden, you’ll always have me.” He grabs her wrist, she yanks her hand away. “But I’m ending this so neither of us have to suffer.”
“I’ll suffer more without you!” He exclaims, she scoffs. “You say that not knowing that Kael is the one who’s helping you heal.” She looks back at him and shakes her head sadly before walking down the hall and into the bathroom. Once inside she lets out all her tears and curses non-stop, each beat of her heart feeling like a prick in her chest.
Aiden collapses into a chair, placing a hand against his forehead. Not only did he feel like crying, but he felt like crying in Kael’s arms. And feeling like that made him realize exactly how he felt towards the other. And he hated himself even more.
~*~
Francis greets the person who had just walked into the gas station with a bow of his head and a polite ‘hel
lo.’ “How may I help you?” He asks, the big-eyed man says nothing as he lurks about. Francis watches him for a while and realizes that he’s seen this man a few times in passing at the university. He couldn’t recall his name, something like, Jean, Ene, Gen—“Gene!” Another voice exclaims, Francis looks towards the entrance door and beams when he spots Kai. “Kai?”
“Oh, Francis!” Kai bounces over to him and swipes the hat off his head. He flips it around in his hand, spinning it on his fore-finger and turning around to show Gene. “Gene, hey, look what I can do.” Gene looks to him with dopey eyes, his expression blank, then slowly he smiles. Francis tilts his head perplexed, wondering how the two knew each other. “Kai, how do you…” Francis trails off, filling the blanks with his gestures. “Aah, Gene and I hang out after school.”
“Doing what?” Francis couldn’t stop the jealousy from leaking into his voice. “Sounds like someone’s becoming possessive of their best friend.” Kai ruffles Francis’s hair before placing the hat back onto his head. “I’m just….curious.”
“And you have every right to be, Gene come here.” The somewhat petite man places the box of beef jerky down and floats over to them. “Yes?” His voice was quiet, but deep and subtle, like ocean tides in the early morning. “This is my best-bud Francis, but you can call him ‘little shit.’” Kai introduces, Francis reaches over and punches Kai in his chest. Gene grins.
“I’m Gene.” He bows the full 90 degrees and Francis jumps back, waving his hands frantically. “Woah, I don’t do formalities once we’ve introduced ourselves.” Gene straightens up and the dark color of his eyes pulls Francis in. He wanted to know more about him. “What exactly…do you and Kai do together?” Kai had disappeared, Francis spotted him a few moments later by the freezers. “We workout.”
“Exercise?”
“Yes, what else?” Gene blinks and then he laughs. “It’s just…what we do cannot be easily expressed to others.”
Butterfly Prince Page 17