Samuel looks on, his eyebrows furrowed sorrowfully as Janus held Kael by his arm tugging him away from Aiden’s bedside. “Your majesty, you have to go, you can’t stay here forever.”
“He can’t stay here forever. He has to wake up!” Kael snaps struggling to jerk his arm out of Janus’s grip. “And he will, but you have to be strong for him right now.” Janus pulls him away with a forceful tug, Kael stumbles into his arms and punches him in his chest. “Let me go. Let me go!” Jenna turns away and Francis looks on with a faraway look in his eyes as though he couldn’t believe this was happening or why it was. Janus holds Kael by his shoulders and he kept hitting him in his chest over and over until he gave up, his fists resting against Janus’s chest. “Take a deep breath, Kael.” Janus says softly and so Kael does, his breaths coming out in shaky puffs. He runs a hand through his hair and wipes his eyes before straightening up. “I’m breathing…breathing.” He takes a fistful of his dark bangs in his hand gripping them tightly before letting them go. “I’m fine now.” He murmurs but his flickering eyes betrayed him.
Jenna—unable to take it anymore—rises up from her seat and strides over to Kael. Without saying a word she wraps her arms around him. His eyes widen and Janus takes a step back in shock. “Take a moment okay. Just take a moment.” She whispers against his neck and Kael stood limply in her arms. She pats his back before letting him go. “We’re all suffering right now and we all…” she swallows her gaze briefly moving towards Aiden. “We all have to be strong.” She meets Kael’s eyes with a bright smile. “My goal is to be a psychiatrist who can help those in their darkest times, when they can’t help themselves.” She reaches up to ruffle his hair. “Mmkay?” Kael nods, his eyes closing momentarily as he replies. “I understand.” He smiles back at her and the tension in the room slips away. And silently their gazes glide over to Aiden whose face was slack, expressionless, his eyes closed. Kael fists his hands tightly forcing himself to turn away. “I uhm, I have to go,” he steps towards the door. “But I’ll be back before you know it!” the bubbliness in his voice was fake and they all sensed it. As Kael passes Francis, he takes the other’s hand in his. Kael freezes in his footsteps and looks down. Francis was staring up at him sympathetically, his slender fingers caressing Kael’s hand. He holds his hand for a moment longer before abruptly letting it go. “Go on.” He urges looking away, but Kael had noticed the wetness coating his eyes. He smiles opening the door and walking out.
While You’re Sleeping
“What does the schedule look like today?” Kael asks his mother as they walk down the castle hallways together. “Well, they want us to do an interview together.” Kael scoffs, his velvet robe billowing out behind him. “An interview? In the midst of father’s funeral?” he questions and she nods, her blue dress fluttering against her ankles. “Yes…”
“Tell them I said no.”
“Kael…”
“No, I’ll tell them myself.” They turn a corner into the living room and Hyde greets them with a courteous bow. “Your majesty.”
“Hyde!” Kael glides over to him, happily hooking an arm around his shoulders. The guard is thrown off by the sudden friendly gesture. “Y-your majesty.”
“Please remember to call me Kael.” He moves away from the guard and smiles somewhat sadly. Hyde clears his throat before nodding. “Yes…” after an awkward pause, Kael asks “So, are you waiting to take us to the funeral home?” Hyde nods and the Queen lowers her gaze. “I can go on my own.” Kael says to his mother and she shakes her head. “It’s something we must do together.”
“Mom,” she looks up to meet his eyes. “It’s alright.” He assures her. “I can do this on my own.”
“But I want to do it with you. Do you forget that he was my husband?” her tone comes across harsh and Kael flinches slightly. “I wasn’t trying to say…” she raises her hand to silence him and his eyes widen. “Mom—“
“I’m coming with you, we’re planning his funeral together.” With that she storms past him and Kael stares after her in disbelief. “She doesn’t have to put on a show for me…” he mumbles before following after her.
The day after he left the hospital he returned to the castle to focus on his role as King. Aiden would want me to do this, he wouldn’t want me to worry. Is what he told himself, but each minute spent away from him felt like an eternity. He wanted to listen to him breathing, he wanted to hear the beeping of the heart rate monitor because if he heard it then that meant Aiden was still holding on. But now he heard nothing. It upset him. Frustrated him, but more than anything…it made him miserable with longing.
He follows after his mother as she bursts through the front doors. A swarm of guards surround her and her eyes widen. “We’ll escort you to the car.” One of them say already making a grab for her arm. She glares at them. “Leave me alone, I can walk there myself.”
“Your highness, it’s best if you let us do our job.”
“No!” Kael comes stumbling out onto the front steps and a trio of guards rush over to him. “Your majesty, the van is that way, let us take you.” Kael looks between the three of them and then he looks over their shoulders towards his mother. She was yelling now, her face flushed with anger. “Move aside!”
“Our Queen please allow us to protect you.”
“I don’t need protection!” she screams and Kael breaks away from the guards surrounding him to go to his mother. He takes her hand and pulls her away. “Why are you doing this?” he asks once she’s by his side. The guards—somewhat confused—reply flatly. “Security has been raised since the death of the King. It is more likely for an assassination of either of you now that the King has passed.”
“What?” Kael squints at the guard who was speaking. “Your majesty, it is simply our wish to protect you.”
“Let me protect you. Let me be your shield.”
“We put your lives before ours.”
“…that way…” Kael mumbles and the guard steps closer to hear him. “Excuse me?”
“It shouldn’t be that way!” he screams and he lunges forward clutching the front of the guard’s suit. “Why cherish our lives more than yours!? You have family and friends who care for you! Don’t toss aside the love you’ve received for us!” he yells, his eyes shaking. “Don’t you care? Don’t you want to live!?”
“Kael…” his mother calls weakly, her hand shaking as she reaches for his shoulder. “Please, I beg you, please do not give up your life for the sake of mine.” His hands were trembling as he held the guard’s suit. The other guards looked on silently, struck with disbelief. “Kael.” She calls his name softly now and she tugs him away from the guard and into her arms where he cries. “It’s okay,” she smooths her hand against his back. “My baby, it’s going to be alright.” He sobs into her chest, his tears wetting the front of her dress. “It’s going to be alright.” She rests her chin in the crook of his neck and shoulder and places a tender hand to the back of his head.
~*~
Mrs. Kim and her husband stride through the hospital doors eager to see their son. Janus was on his way down to meet them. Jenna sat beside Aiden’s bedside, her hand placed over his as the silence droned on.
“Mrs. Kim!” Janus calls out to them as he comes jogging towards where they waited in the hospital lobby. “Janus, you didn’t have to come down to meet us.” She says and he shakes his head. “No, I wanted to.” He smiles leading them towards the elevator. “I’ve been here so many times, it’s like coming home.” He murmurs as the elevator doors ding. “Ah, your younger brother was in an accident right?” Mr. Kim questions and Janus nods holding the elevator door open for them. “Yes…”
“Aiden briefly mentioned it to us.” Mrs. Kim says. “Mm, Francis was shot, but he’s getting better.” Janus says softly. “Well that’s good.” She smiles up at Janus and together they stand quietly inside the elevator. Samuel had explained Aiden’s current condition saying that his immune system was weak and with a combination of that and the
infection, his body crashed so that it could heal itself. But as other nurses came to check on his condition, they told Janus to expect the worse which was something he had been waiting to hear all along. The doors slide open and Mr. Kim is the first to step out leaving Janus and his wife behind as he went ahead to Aiden’s room. Janus stares after him and he makes a move to follow after him, but Mrs. Kim places a hand to his arm. “You can tell me the truth…” she says softly. Janus turns to look at her, his eyebrows furrowing. “Excuse me?” he asks and she smiles. “You can tell; what are his chances?”
“Mrs. Kim…”
“Aiden doesn’t learn…he’s always exerting himself and protecting those around him, so much so that he doesn’t take the time to rest.” She sighs. “That child of mine is hardheaded and hotheaded.” She laughs lightly squeezing Janus’s shoulder before brushing past him. “I know—I have hope, but I know.” She says her voice growing faint. Janus stares after her, the feel of her hand on his shoulder warm. How he wanted to tell her no, how he wanted to give her hope. He bites his bottom lip before regaining the courage in himself to follow after her.
Jenna’s ears perk at the sound of the door being opened and she rises quickly to her feet. “Mr. Kim.” He smiles upon seeing her and she rushes over to give him a hug. “Jenna, dear, how is he?” he asks and she glances over her shoulder towards Aiden’s sleeping figure. “He’s…doing fine.” She mumbles and Mr. Kim smiles moving past her and to his son’s bedside. “You were always a heavy sleeper.” He says and he places a hand to Aiden’s forehead. “You can’t sleep forever, your mom is waiting.” He smooths a thumb across the corner of Aiden’s forehead. As if on cue Mrs. Kim with Janus behind her, walks into the room. Her expression falls so quickly upon seeing Aiden. She pushes past Jenna and stands beside her husband. She stares down at Aiden and clamps a hand over her mouth. She had prepared herself for seeing him like this, but it was not enough. She shakes her head slowly. “Ooh, Aiden.” She moans in pain and her husband slides an arm around her shoulders and pulls her close. He caresses her back whispers something in her ear. Janus looks to them for a moment before turning to Jenna. “Any changes?” he asks and she shakes her head. “No…he’s been like that all morning.”
“It’s…so weird.” He mumbles and she nods. “Seeing him so still and quiet.” She clutches her hands together. “I’m going to get something to drink.” She tells him before walking out of the room. The door clicks shut and Janus is left alone with Aiden and his parents.
~*~
Kael opens the door for his mother as they stand in the driveway of the funeral parlor. They’re escorted up the white steps by a duo of bodyguards. One of them rush to open the front door and Kael thanks him with a smile. The inside of the parlor is cold, the air stale and tinged with the scent of moth balls and plastic. His mother reaches out for his hand and he takes it firmly in his. Together they walk the rest of the way through the parlor. There were so many coffins, shined and cleaned until they glowed in the white light. Kael swallows—his father would soon be laying in one of those boxes. He squeezes his eyes shut allowing his mother to lead him the rest of the way. They stop outside of the office doors, the person they were meeting with was supposed to be waiting for them. This was a private matter that Kael had made clear to the Undertaker looking after his fathers body and burial arrangements. “No one besides me and my mother are to know about this until we say so.” He didn’t want the public to know the date of his father’s funeral nor where he would be buried until he found the right time to tell them, preferably after they had chosen a proper coffin.
The door swings open and the man peeps his head out with a complacent smile. “Your majesty,” he greets and Kael smiles warmly. “Nice to meet you.” He murmurs. The two guards stand at attention in front of the office doors as Kael and The Queen slip inside. “Have a seat, have a seat.” The undertaker who went by Victor says to them, gesturing to two lavender chairs across from his desk. So Kael and his mother sit. Victor clears his desk and also takes a seat. “I’ve designed a few coffins,” he begins and Kael leans forward. “Can I see them?”
“Of course, but they’re only a few sketches.”
“My husband has to have the best coffin.” The Queen interjects and Victor nods. “I understand ma’am and I’ve come up with a few.” He shuffles through the top drawer of his desk and pulls out a manila folder. He hands it to Kael who eagerly takes it in his hand. He flips through the sketches, his eyes flicking across the designs wildly. None of them seemed suitable, none of it seemed right. He shakes his head and his mother looks to him worriedly. “Kael, what’s wrong?”
“Mom, a coffin, dad wasn’t…”
“I think I understand what you’re trying to say.” Victor begins softly. “No human being should be contained to a box, even if they have passed.” Kael clutches the papers in his hand. “I just…”
“Here.” She takes the sketches from him and places them in her lap. “I’ll choose and you can go ahead.”
“Mom, we came to do this together.” He takes her hand and she shakes her head. “I can’t put my child through this.” And gently she pries his hand off of hers. “I can handle this. You go back to the castle.”
“And do what?” he asks and she meets his eyes. “Rest. That’s what you need right now.” Kael leans back in his chair and glares at her. “Don’t make that face. I’ll choose the best, most comfortable coffin for your father—don’t think about it anymore.”
“I don’t—”
“Guards!” she calls and the doors swing open. “Please take my son back to the castle.” She orders, her eyes still on Kael. “I understand your intentions, Kael, but it’s time to stop feeling guilty.” She squeezes his thigh tenderly. “Don’t be like your mom.”
“Your majesty.” One of the guards step towards him and Kael keeps his eyes on his mother, his expression asking why?
The castle is quiet, the entirety of it still except for some of the servants who were scuttling up and down the hall. BANG! The front doors swing open loudly and Kael storms inside, his heart racing, his mind a mess, he was breathing heavily. “Damn it,” he curses as the doors creak shut behind him. The guard that had come with him was standing behind him like a perfect shadow. He said nothing, Kael even swore that the guard thought nothing. He grips the front of his shirt, sweat prickling up and down the back of his neck. Is it an attack? He thinks, his breath coming out in short rasps. “Your majesty, are you alright?” the guard asks and Kael holds up his hand stumbling ahead. “I’m fine.” He grunts placing a hand to the wall and leaning against it. He fumbles for his phone unlocking it and calling the person on his favorites list. It rings and rings and rings. Kael—breathless and panicking—pulls his phone away from his ear and curses because he had called Aiden’s number. “Damn it, damn it.” His eyes begin to water. He hangs up and calls Janus.
“Kael?”
“J…Janus…”
“Kael, what’s wrong?”
“I can’t…I can’t…breathe…” Kael croaks and the guard from before rushes over to him but Kael knocks him away. “No! You aren’t him!” he screams and the guard backs away with wide eyes. “Kael, let him help you.” Janus says sternly and Kael shakes his head. “No I just…I just—“
“He’s not here right now, Kael, you have to do it on your own.”
“My own…”
“Yes.” Kael swallows, his eyes spilling over with frustrated tears. “Okay,” he breathes heavily. “Okay.” He repeats and he closes his eyes and he thinks of Aiden. “I’m here for you.” He inhales. “Just breathe” and exhales slowly. He repeats his actions from before and gradually his constricted heart relaxes. “Whenever you feel yourself spinning out of control, just think of him,” Janus says soothingly. “And even if he’s not there, just know that he’s always holding your hand to keep you center.” Kael nods and apologizes to the guard. “It’s quite alright.” The guard responds understandingly before giving Kael some space to finish
the call. “How is he?” he asks and Janus replies instantly. “He’s still…sleeping.”
“What did the doctors say?” Janus pauses. “Janus, tell me.”
“They say…” he swallows before continuing. “They say to expect the worse.” And it’s like a black hole has formed in Kael’s heart swallowing him from the inside out. He places a hand to the wall to steady himself. “…the worse…” he mumbles and Janus stays silent allowing Kael to gather himself before continuing. “His parents are here…”
“They must hate me.”
“Don’t say that. Don’t blame yourself, it’s like you’re going in a circle.” Kael runs a hand through his hair. “But I just don’t understand why.”
“It’s because you’re thinking too hard.” Janus murmurs. “He loves you that’s why he protected you and sacrificed himself.”
“But I need him to wake up.” Kael huffs and ever so softly Janus whispers. “We all do.”
After ending the phone conversation with Janus, Kael was now walking down the hall towards his room, but before he got there he passed his father’s study. He stops mid-step, his eyes latching onto the bright yellow tape that closed off the room. He reaches towards the doorknob but stops just as the tips of his fingers touch the steel handle. The memory of that day came rushing back at him and he could smell the scent of blood as though it were happening all over again. He could hear the gunshots and see Aiden’s pale face. He stumbles back, breathing heavily as it all came back to him. “I can’t…I can’t do it…” he huffs beginning to turn away, but he stops short remembering Skye. He clutches the front of his shirt. “I plan to publish all I’ve written once you become King!” she had said and an ache occurs in Kael’s heart. He takes a deep breath and faces the door once again. It stood facing him, it’s oak doors glistening, taunting him. “You can’t do it.” It said. “You’re scared of what’s in there. You’re scared of yourself.” Kael swallows and tears the yellow tape away. “You became just like your father.”
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