The thought of what could have been was trying to push itself into his head, but he forced it away, unwilling to dwell on it. There was already enough real loss to deal with without him adding imaginary scenarios to the mix.
He couldn’t bear to think of Ellie being hurt. Especially in his care. His heart beat like a tribal drum in his chest and he took some deep breaths to try to calm it down.
As he pulled into the driveway and switched off the engine, the world became silent around them. His twitchiness was even more acute in the stillness of the car. He needed to do something to get rid of this crazy energy that surged through his body. Maybe he should go for another run. No. He didn’t want to leave Ellie alone. He’d get her back into the house and make sure she was okay before he did that.
“Come on. Let’s get the kettle on.” He got out of the car and walked round to open her door for her. She looked up at him with an odd expression in her eyes.
“Since when did you become such a gentleman?” Her voice was still slightly husky and the sound of it sent shivers down his spine.
He shrugged, not entirely sure where the urge to be so protective had come from, and held his hand out to help her out of the car. She stared at it for a moment, a faint smile playing around her lips, before putting her own into it and pulling herself upright.
Her hand was cool and slight in his and her touch caused a wave of need so intense he felt sure she’d feel it traveling through his fingers into her own.
He had a mad compulsion to push her against the car and kiss the life out of her, but he knew he shouldn’t. He couldn’t.
Get a grip, Gideon.
Going round to the boot, he hauled out the shopping bags, taking four in each hand and heading back to the house.
“Let me take some of those,” Ellie said, closing the boot and running to catch him up.
“Nah, it’s okay, I’ve got them,” he said walking up the front steps, unable to look at her now in case he lost it completely.
“Give me the key then, I’ll get the door open.”
“It’s in my pocket,” he said, nodding down to the front right-hand side of his jeans before it occurred to him exactly what he’d suggested. Before he could rectify the situation, he felt her hand slip down into his pocket and fumble around.
He gritted his teeth as his body hardened in response to her touch. He turned to meet her gaze. Ellie’s pupils had dilated again, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t from shock this time. She was standing so close to him he could smell the honey fragrance of her hair. Her lips parted and she drew shallow breaths into her chest, which rose and fell much faster than normal, in sync with his own accelerated breathing.
He wanted to kiss her. So badly.
He was just about to give in to the feeling when her fingers closed around the key in his pocket and she drew it out, moving away from him and turning to open the door.
• • •
Ellie stepped into the cool stillness of the hallway and walked quickly away from Gideon and the electrifying atmosphere that had zapped between them on the doorstep.
The twitchy shock of the near-accident had been replaced with a whole other sort of shock.
He’d been turned on. By her.
Granted, she’d had her hands in his trousers, dangerously close to his groin, but she’d seen the expression in his eyes, too. They’d seemed to soften as they looked into hers and she could have sworn he moved toward her just before she’d grasped hold of the key. It was as if he was leaning forward to kiss her.
She’d panicked, not knowing how to deal with what she was feeling, and turned away from him, almost sick with nerves.
In her muddled state she hadn’t considered what would happen if she put her hand in his pocket. She’d done it to Paul numerous times and so it felt like a normal thing to do. Of course it wasn’t. Not with someone she wasn’t usually intimate with. She’d stepped over the line, which she’d been precariously balancing on for a very long time. Her heart thumped against her chest at the realization.
She was aware of him following her into the kitchen, the carrier bags rustling in the otherwise silent room.
Could he really have wanted to kiss her? Or was it just a standard reaction he had to being unexpectedly groped?
She found she couldn’t meet his eyes and busied herself unpacking the bags he’d put on the table to give herself something else to focus on.
Turning back from stashing the pasta in the cupboard she almost bumped into Gideon, who’d put himself between her and the table. She had no choice but to look at him now.
“Ellie, stop a minute, will you? We don’t need to do that, just sit for a minute and breathe.”
“I don’t need to breathe,” she said, before realizing how ridiculous that sounded.
Gideon’s mouth quirked into a smile and she grinned uncertainly back at him.
Her breath caught in her throat as he gently pushed a lock of hair away from her face. Heat flared between her legs as the scent of him twisted into her senses and the warmth of his body penetrated hers.
“Do you want a drink?” he said, his dark gaze sweeping her face.
“No.”
He paused. “What do you want?”
The words hung in the air like a low hum, mesmerizing and taunting them. Ellie wasn’t sure who moved forward first, but the feeling of Gideon’s mouth, hard on hers, was so right, so absolutely where it should be, that she found herself giving in to it entirely. It was as if the kiss was a long, cool drink of water quenching her raging thirst.
Blood thundered in her veins as his lips covered hers and the kiss became deeper and more desperate. Ellie instinctively opened her mouth to allow his tongue to slip against hers, teasing and intoxicating her.
Twisting his hands into her curls, he held her captive against his mouth, intensifying her need.
She was so aware of his hard body pressing urgently against her, thigh to hip, as he leaned in to cover every part of her body with his, possessing and controlling her. Their breath came quickly, and Ellie felt a swell of desire as Gideon groaned in pleasure against her mouth.
The sound of his deep tones also shocked her into awareness. This was Gideon she was kissing so fiercely.
This reminder forced a glimmer of sense into her befuddled brain and she realized with a jolt that she shouldn’t be doing this. This wasn’t part of the plan for the weekend. But worse than that, she was afraid of how out of control she felt. As she pulled away, his arms tightened around her, drawing her closer against his body.
“Ellie … no. I’m not letting you go. Don’t you dare run away from me.”
He brought his mouth down hard onto hers, foiling any plans of escape. How could she even think of stopping now? She couldn’t if she wanted to, she wasn’t physically capable. She would probably dissolve with lust.
He moved his hands under her sweater to span her waist, sliding slowly up, caressing each rib until they cupped her breasts, sending throbs of sensation to her painfully hardened nipples. She arched against him, no longer in control of her own body as he moved his fingers to roll the peaks between finger and thumb, sending a juddering current directly to her clitoris.
The shock of the past half hour had sent her adrenaline levels into overdrive, canceling out any sense of reason she laughably thought she had. As his strong body imposed itself on her, she knew with a thrill that all her childish fantasies about this moment had been so far from the truth, she almost laughed.
“What’s so funny?” Gideon raised his mouth from hers to look down into her startled smile, his eyes blazing with lust.
“Nothing. I … just wasn’t expecting this.”
“I was.”
Before she could utter another word, he backed her against the table, causing the hard wooden ridge to bite into her legs for a moment before, with apparently no effort, he gathered her into his arms, and lifted her onto it. Moving between her parted thighs, he bent forward, pressing himself into her more urgent
ly, making her acutely aware that only a thin barrier of fabric kept them apart. With a shock of longing, she felt his erection push against her and longing pooled between her legs, making her slick with desire. He wanted her, he really wanted her, and she needed him inside her. Now.
She moved against him, welcoming the exquisite friction and the waves of pure pleasure coursing through her body. She needed to get closer.
Grasping the hem of his t-shirt, she lifted it up and he helped her pull it over his head, dropping it onto the floor next to them. She put her hands against his warm body and felt the strength of him under her fingers. He took in a deep breath at her cool touch and gently pushed her backward, leaning his weight into her shoulders, before moving down to kiss her again.
As she lay back, she shoved the shopping bags out of the way, their contents streaming out and bouncing all over the floor. Neither of them paid any attention as fruit, bread, and oranges rolled over the flagstones, littering the kitchen.
“God, I want you so much.”
She ran her hands over his bare arms and torso, tracing the lines of muscle she’d been so transfixed by that morning. His skin was soft in contrast to the hard muscle that twisted beneath it and he flexed beneath her touch as his hands moved up to grasp her wrists and push them down against the table, controlling her entirely. More moisture rushed between her legs as he dominated her, leaving her utterly at his mercy.
Gideon pulled away to search the depths of her eyes with his own, checking, asking, begging.
“Yes.” The word sighed from her lips like a breath.
His hands left her wrists and tore at her sweater in frustration, pulling a huge hole in the front in his anxiousness to get it off her. He pulled it roughly away from her body, then did the same with the thin cotton t-shirt she wore underneath.
Her breasts rose in soft peaks before him, her nipples pushing hard against the soft cotton of her bra. She wanted to feel his mouth on her, teasing her with his tongue, and as she thought this, he pulled the cups away harshly, laying her bare and brought his mouth down to the hardened peaks.
All sense of reason span away from her as currents of need zipped through her body. Gideon yanked the buttons on her jeans open and dragged them down, taking her panties with them. His eyes returned to hers, alive with lust and intent. Ellie stared at him, unable to turn away. She was vaguely aware of him fumbling in his back pocket, before pulling out his wallet. He found a condom and practically threw his wallet from him before yanking open his own trousers.
He moved down to kiss her breasts, tugging gently on first one nipple with his teeth, then the other, until her body throbbed with the exquisite need to feel him inside her. Grasping her hips, he dragged her down the table toward him until he looked directly into her eyes. She stared back at him, their faces only centimeters apart. He was checking again, making sure this was what she wanted.
“Yes,” she repeated and felt his erection press gently against her opening. He kept his eyes locked with hers as he slowly entered her, inch by delicious inch. She drew in a deep breath as she felt herself open up to him, taking in the length and hardness, her body stretching and softening to accommodate him.
When he was fully inside her, he held himself still for a moment, as if to savor the feeling. It was like sweet torture to Ellie — she loved the feeling of him inside her, but she wanted more. She needed to let go of all the tension she’d been holding in and take it out on his body. She wriggled against him and he let out a soft chuckle.
“No patience,” he said before his mouth came down to savage hers in a fury of passion. He moved inside her, slowly at first, but with a building momentum, hitting her deep and hard inside.
The table rocked under them and Ellie dug her fingers into his shoulders and hung on, riding the motion, lost in the sensations that were building inside her. She tipped her pelvis up for maximum friction against the movement and he helped by sliding a hand under the small of her back and pulling her closer as he continued to move deep inside. It was as if he was taking out all his frustration on her body too, and the force of his thrusts moved the table across the floor.
He smelled so damn good. A surge of feeling began to grow from deep within and her gasps became harsher and faster as the feeling increased in intensity and finally peaked, sending a blinding rush of sensation spiraling out to every nerve ending. A guttural cry came from deep in her throat as she lost all control and gave in to the pure joy of the moment.
Gideon continued to move inside her, increasing the speed of his thrusts until he came too, letting out a low moan and collapsing on top of her, their bodies chest to chest. His erratic heartbeat thumped against her and she brought her arms up and cradled him to her, not wanting him to move away.
Some strange new feeling began to grow in her now, as they lay there joined together. All the confusion and loneliness of the last six months came rushing back to pummel her as she lay trapped beneath him. Her throat constricted with pain and before she could stop it, her shallow gasps tipped over into gut-wrenching sobs.
Tears streamed down her cheeks as she fought to control the crazy mess of feelings that came out of nowhere to turn the moment from a blissful release into something very much darker.
• • •
Gideon became aware of his heart thumping against his chest as all his senses slowly came back. Ellie’s body was hot against him, and the feeling of her soft skin pressed against his and the tightness of her embrace was incredible.
That is until he noticed how irregular her breathing was.
He raised his head to look at her and to his horror, she turned her face away from him and started sobbing uncontrollably.
He drew himself out of her gently and felt her release her arms from around him.
“Hey, Ellie. What’s wrong?” He brushed her hair away from her face, so he could see her eyes. His stomach plummeted when she refused to look at him.
“Not the reaction I was hoping for. You could give a guy a complex, you know.” He was aware of the catch in his voice and cleared his throat, shoving away the niggle of hurt her reaction caused in him.
He put one hand on each cheek and gently tipped her face toward him, brushing the tears away from her eyes with his thumbs. She brought her own hands up and covered her eyes, shielding herself from him.
Totally bewildered, Gideon moved away from her, disposed of the condom, and searched around him for their discarded clothes. After pulling on his trousers, he scooped up her torn sweater and jeans.
She’d sat up by this point and was sitting hunched over with her hands over her face, still sobbing hard. He handed her the sweater and, keeping her head down, she shoved her arms into the sleeves, drawing the two torn halves around herself.
Placing her jeans on the table next to her, he sat on the other side, grasping her around her shoulders and pulling her against his body until her sobs became less fierce. She held herself stiffly against him, allowing him to cuddle her, but not sinking into his body.
The rejection stung and he found himself almost angry with her. He was baffled by this reaction. Sure, they were both shaken up by the incident earlier, and what had happened between them had been pretty intense, but she was acting as though her whole world had fallen in.
They sat in silence for a minute, her gentle hiccoughs the only sound in the room.
He wanted to touch her again, to kiss her and make her forget whatever it was that had caused such an extreme reaction, but he stopped himself. He was way out of his depth here. He wasn’t sure how best to handle this outpouring of emotion and it made him uneasy.
She jumped slightly as he slid off the table and went to fetch her a drink. Perhaps she’d be okay once she’d had a few minutes to ruminate.
Stepping over the groceries littering the floor, he poured some orange juice into a glass and returned to the table with it, holding it out to her.
“Here, drink this. You need some sugar.”
Ellie nodded in gratitu
de and gave him a weak smile. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she looked younger and more vulnerable than he’d ever seen her.
“Sorry. I don’t know why I’m crying,” she said.
“It’s the shock. At least I hope it is. Otherwise I seriously need to rethink my technique.”
Finally she smiled through her tears, before lowering her gaze again, shaking her head, apparently confused by her own behavior.
“Look, why don’t you go shower and get yourself straight. I’ll clear up in here,” he said.
They looked around the room at the food strewn all over the floor.
“Okay. Thanks,” she said, pulling the torn sweater tighter around her. It was so large it came half-way down her thighs. Now he knew she wasn’t wearing anything underneath, he kind of liked it on her.
She glanced up at him as she passed and gave him a half-hearted smile, before ducking her head down again and walking off. He watched her all the way out of the kitchen. Her hair was a mess of curls, even bigger in volume than unusual after their adventure on the kitchen table.
He sank down onto a chair and put his head in his hands. What the hell was he doing?
This was precisely why he’d held himself back from her for the last few days. There was a whole world of trouble coming his way, he was sure of it.
The problem was, there was no way he could leave things here, no way, and once Penny and Will arrived, it would be almost impossible to get her on her own again.
Based on her reaction just now, there was no chance he could walk away from this weekend with them both agreeing to put this crazy episode down to exceptional circumstances. And did he even want that? Truthfully he didn’t know what he wanted. He needed to figure out what he was going to do about this. And fast.
Chapter Five
What just happened? Ellie asked herself as she stood under the shower, allowing the water to flatten her hair against her head. It ran in rivulets over her face, soothing her hot, swollen eyes. How could she have cried like that in front of him? Her cheeks burned fiercely at the memory and she screwed up her eyes in frustration.
Her New Worst Enemy Page 6