“You look beautiful baby. Stop fidgeting, stop worrying about the dress. It’s not as short as some. You’re going to see that for yourself in a minute.”
He offered his hand to me again and I didn’t hesitate to take it. Despite him having the ability to get me all tied up in knots over the feelings he could arouse in me, I needed his strength to get me through this evening. The idea of being in an unfamiliar place with a lot of other people scared me.
As we walked towards the club, my fingers tightened around his and I saw him glance at me from the corner of my eye before giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. “Stop panicking.” He whispered into my ear and I shivered at the brush of his cool lips against my skin. I sucked in a deep breath, immediately filling my lungs with that gorgeous scent that was all Lucian.
Before we got right up to the doors of the club, I could hear the heavy thump, thump of loud music coming from inside. Suddenly terrified of going in, I balked and when Lucian felt the tug on his hand, he stopped and turned to me. “What’s wrong Arissa?”
“I...I’m not sure I want to go inside. Will there be a lot of people? It sounds loud and I’m not used to being in loud places or crowds for that matter. I...I’m nervous.” I whispered.
Lucian raised my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles. “Relax, you’ll be fine. Do you trust me?” His warm eyes searched mine.
I stared at him for a while and suddenly it struck me, somewhere over those weeks he’d spent with me while walking Milo, the visit to his home, the clothes, how he was now, somewhere along the way I had come to trust him. I wasn’t sure what his expectations of me would be. I wasn’t sure I could ever be what he wanted and I wasn’t that naïve; I knew sooner or later he would want to have sex with me. I could see it in his eyes every time he looked at me. He might be masking it well, but the light of his lust, his need glowed in those chocolate brown depths.
Again those words filled my head where I kept imagining I’d heard him ask, if he could show me how pleasurable sex was, would I let him and I’d said yes. Why did that seem so real to me? Surely I’d remember a conversation like that one. There were other things too, snippets of images where I felt like I was reliving my father’s abuse. I don’t know why this was happening, why it felt so real and what confused me the most was the feeling that somehow Lucian was a part of it, that he knew about my past too.
“Well, are you ready?” His voice interrupted my thoughts and I turned to him, only then noticing that we were outside the main doors to the club.
My heart began to pound and I swallowed nervously before giving him a shaky smile and a nod of my head. I could do this. It was silly to be so scared. I’d run away from my father to have a life free of his torture, pain and abuse, it was time to start living and stop living in fear.
Lucian gave my hand a squeeze before pulling me towards him, and before I could react his lips brushed my cheek briefly and were gone again. I shivered, but it wasn’t with fear this time. I raised my head to meet his gaze, and we stared at one another for a few moments, before he began to lower his head again. As he drew closer, I closed my eyes, a tiny sigh escaping me when I felt the first brush of his lips against mine.
Slowly, so gently he kissed me, his lips brushing back and forth, lightly over mine. I waited, waited for more and finally when he nibbled his way along my bottom lip, I sighed and his lips closed over mine, his tongue working its way into my mouth. I tensed waiting for the usual revulsion. Whenever father had done that, I’d fought hard not to gag but this was different. This was nice, pleasant, I liked this. My lips parted and tentatively I allowed my tongue to meet his. I heard a low groan rumble up Lucian’s throat and vibrate against my lips making me quiver in reaction. He started to kiss me more passionately and a whimper squeezed its way past my lips as feelings I didn’t understand flooded my body, stirring my senses, confusing me.
As if aware of the change in me, Lucian lifted his head, his eyes burning with the excitement I could see he was trying to contain. Slowly he released me, stepping back, his hands falling to his sides. I met his gaze, saw the desire in his expression and I felt something, a dull ache, a pull, something low in my stomach as I watched him. He raked his hair back off his face before slipping a hand down to his groin, adjusting himself through his jeans. I glanced down, colour flooding my cheeks when I noticed he was hard. For the first time ever though seeing him aroused, seeing a man aroused didn’t scare me.
Lucian
Lucian felt a moment of triumph. Arissa was warming to him, trusting him; she was allowing herself to like him. That was the first time she’d let him kiss her where she hadn’t completely freaked out and he felt like shouting and fist punching the air, but of course he didn’t. Now if he did that, he would scare her. Of course his cock wasn’t feeling quite so jubilant. It was straining hard up against his fly, desperate for release from the confines of his clothing, and desperate for the opportunity to be buried deep inside the fragile woman by his side. Still it was going to have to be disappointed as was he. Progress was slow and if he got too impatient and forced himself on her, he’d frighten her off and have to start all over again.
“Come on.” He pulled her after him into the club, needing something to distract him so he’d lose the hard on. The noise of people talking and laughing against the sound of music playing, hit them as soon as they stepped inside and he felt Arissa move closer to him. “Its ok baby, relax. They’re just people having fun, drinking and dancing. Would you like a drink?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never had alcohol before. Is it nice?” She asked and Lucian couldn’t help smiling at her question.
“I don’t drink any more, I haven’t in years but you try something. How about I get you a cocktail? Women seem to like drinking them.”
“Ok, you choose please.” She gave him a tentative smile and he pulled her towards the bar.
Chloe was working and she greeted him enthusiastically when she saw him. “Hey stranger I haven’t seen you here in a while. Where’s that brother of yours?” She looked beyond him. “What no Damien tonight?”
“No, I’m with someone. Can you give me something? I don’t know some kind of cocktail or something?”
Chloe grinned. “A cocktail? I didn’t think you drank and a cocktail’s not very masculine.” She leaned forward and winked at him.
“It’s not for me.” He turned and pulled Arissa forward. “I’d like you to meet my date. This is Arissa, Arissa this is Chloe.” He made the introductions.
He watched as the two women greeted one another, Arissa’s response more shy as she looked at Chloe. The two women were so different from one another. Chloe was bright and bubbly and he’d fucked her so many times, he knew every inch of her body but she of course had no memory of that. Arissa was quiet, reserved, timid and so beautiful he could barely take his eyes off her, and he hoped that he wouldn’t have to wait too much longer until he knew every inch of her body.
Chloe made up a drink and came back, handing it to Arissa. “Here you are, it’s called Sex on the Beach.” She grinned at them. “Its vodka, peach schnapps, cranberry and orange juice, so enjoy.”
Lucian silently groaned. Of all drinks Chloe had to pick Sex on the Beach? Damn but he hoped Arissa didn’t think he’d arranged that. She was eyeing off the drink, sniffing it until finally she took a sip from it. Her eyes shot up to him and a wide smile spread over her face, taking him by surprise.
“I like this, thank you.” She turned to Chloe. “Thank you it’s very nice.” She took a bigger sip and Lucian took her hand, leading her away from the bar.
“Come on, I want to show you something.” He pulled her through the crowds into another room where more music played but not as loud or thumping as the disco styled music in the main bar.
There were nearly as many people in this room as the one they’d just left but Lucian pulled her through the people towards the front of the room where a woman sang on stage. Once he had her in front of the stage, he turned to
watch her facial expression.
Arissa looked up and her eyes widened in surprise. She turned to him. “Isn’t that Fabian’s wife or girlfriend, whatever she is?”
Lucian grinned. “Yes it is. She’s a singer at the club. This is where Fabian and Sirene met. She’s good isn’t she?”
Arissa turned bright eyes on him. “She has such a beautiful voice and she looks so pretty.”
“Her dress is shorter than yours too baby, see? Do you feel better about yours now? You look beautiful. You should dress to show off your beauty, not hide under shapeless clothes.”
Her face clouded at his words. “I don’t have any nice clothes. Father wouldn’t let me wear anything that he considered inappropriate. He said only tarts wear revealing clothes.”
Lucian felt rage surge through him at the mention of the bastard’s name and the crap he’d brainwashed his own daughter with for years. The prick had made her feel that she’d be nothing better than a whore if she’d worn anything pretty, yet fucking his own daughter was obviously acceptable in his sick and twisted mind.
He was so distracted by the fury he felt when he thought of Arissa’s father and the burning desire he had to choke the life right of the bastard, that he didn’t hear or see his sister’s approach until she spoke. “Well, well, well brother dearest, fancy meeting you here.” At the sound of her voice he turned and reluctantly faced her.
“What are you doing here?” He asked impatiently.
“Now is that any way to greet your dear sister? I see you’ve brought the little woman.” She turned her dark eyes on Arissa and he watched her shift nervously under Francesca’s probing gaze.
He pulled her closer to him and was relieved when she tucked in against his side, obviously feeling safe in his arms. Of course Fran noticed and one eyebrow shot up as she watched them. He glared at her hoping that she’d make an effort to exercise some control and filter that damn mouth of hers. He sure as hell didn’t need her saying anything in front of Arissa that could scare her off.
“So what are you doing here Francesca? Is there any particular reason? Are you here for Sirene maybe?” He asked.
She laughed softly. “No reason brother dear. I just wanted to see how you were going.” She turned her attention on Arissa. “Nice dress, my brother has good taste I see. Not sure about the colour. I’m kind of a dark colours gal myself, black, black and more black. Kind of suits my mood, you know how it is?”
Arissa took a big gulp of her drink before shaking her head at Fran. Lucian wanted his sister to leave them alone now. It was obvious Arissa was becoming intimidated by Francesca. He could see it in her eyes and the faint tremor he could feel running through her.
“Well, it was nice of you to come and say hello, but I’m sure you have other things to do?” He shot her a warning look and finally she seemed to get the message. She would have known she wasn’t welcome right from the start but that was Fran, she got off on stirring up shit for everyone.
“Oh relax little brother. I’m not alone here anyway.” As if on cue two men appeared at her side and Lucian could see straight away that she had them under her control. They were still lucid and mostly aware of things going on around them but Francesca had a thing about making men like slaves. She’d snap her fingers and they’d come running. “Here they are now. Meet….” She gave a flick of her wrist at the two men. “Well, I’ve forgotten their names, but who needs to know names? I’m only interested in fucking them after all.”
Lucian silently groaned at her words and cast a quick glance at Arissa to see how she was handling the conversation. She was staring at Francesca with huge eyes and sipping from her drink like a dying woman trying to satisfy a desperate thirst.
“Good bye Fran. Enjoy your evening.” He dismissed her and pulled Arissa away. She stumbled slightly on her heels before hurrying along after him. When he stopped to one side of the stage, but still close so they could watch Sirene perform, he turned to her. “Are you ok? My sister can be somewhat testing. As you probably gathered, she likes to go for the shock factor. She gets off on that. I hope she didn’t upset you?”
“She is a little intimidating. I can’t imagine being like her.” She gulped down the last of her drink before raising her eyes to his, her expression embarrassed. “Is she really going to do what she said?” She leaned closer to him. “You know f…fuck them? She doesn’t even know their names. How can she talk of doing…you know what with them?”
Lucian raised his eyes to the ceiling as if it could somehow give him the answer he was searching for that wouldn’t send her running for the hills. “Francesca is very confident and she does enjoy trying to shock people but you do know that a man and woman can have sex and not be in love or even know one another baby?”
He watched colour flood her cheeks at his words. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I...your sister makes me nervous. Can I have another drink please? I enjoyed that very much.”
“Sure you can; come with me.” He said and took her hand leading her back through the crowds to the bar to get her that next drink.
Arissa
The sound of Sirene’s voice as she sang and the music were definitely helping me to relax on my date with Lucian. The drinks he bought for me were helping to settle my nerves too and although I wasn’t so sure I could class it as enjoying myself, I wasn’t hating my time out either.
I was glad that Francesca had gone. She was a strange one to me; I didn’t understand her and she made me nervous. There was something about her. Maybe it was the pale makeup she wore with the dark lipstick and dark eyes, or the way she dressed. The way she’d spoken had really shocked me, more than I wanted to let on. She didn’t seem to care what she said to anyone. Her talk of being with both those men certainly had stunned me, but if I was honest with myself, it also roused my curiosity.
How could she say that? How could she want to have sex with those men? She didn’t even know them, she didn’t know their names and yet she was going to let them put their things in her? There were two of them so how did that work?
“What’s going through that beautiful head of yours?” Lucian asked and I looked up at him, blushing furiously. His eyebrows shot up at my reaction and he moved closer his head lowering to mine. “What is it baby? You are turning a most delightful shade of pink. Just what were you thinking?” His lips brushed over my cheek and I shivered.
“I…I...your sister…Francesca...I was wondering…I was wondering.” I struggled to express myself. “How…how can she have sex with those men? She doesn’t know them, she doesn’t know their names and…and there are two of them.” I said in hushed tones, worried someone might hear the nature of my conversation.
Lucian chuckled quietly before suddenly dropping a hard kiss on my lips. He was gone again before I had time to react. “Francesca is Francesca, she is always like that. She enjoys the shock value and it is possible for people to have sex with more than one person at a time.” He said.
I blushed again, although I think the alcohol Lucian was buying for me was making me a bit braver. “Have you ever….you know, with more than one person?”
Lucian gaped at me momentarily as if my question had shocked him but he got himself back under control quickly. “Why do you want to know?”
“I...I’m curious I guess. So have you?”
“Yes baby, I have. Are you sure you really wanted to know that?”
“How many women have you had sex with?” I found myself asking him. I gasped when the question left my lips. What was it with me tonight? Why was I asking all these questions?
“Arissa, I can’t answer that. Why are you asking me these questions now? If you’re going to ask me such intimate questions then I should be allowed to do the same. How many men have you had sex with?”
At his question thoughts of my father flooded my head, the pain, him lying on me, grunting, thrusting, his hot breath in my ear and I shuddered. God would I ever be free of the pain, the torment he inflicted? For years he’d
hurt me, for years he’d raped me, beaten me and abused me. It was because of him that although I was out with a man I thought was beautiful and sexy, I feared getting too close to him. I feared him wanting to do things to me and I didn’t want to contemplate the idea at all, that even with someone as beautiful as Lucian, sex would be no better. That even with him, it would represent nothing but the same kind of pain and humiliation I’d endured for years with my father.
I looked up at Lucian and so badly I wanted to believe that he would never hurt me, that sex with him would not be some painful, degrading, horrific act that left me feeling dirty and disgusted afterwards. I wanted to believe that he wouldn’t do to me what my father had done, but would I ever have the confidence to find out? Would I ever be brave enough to let him try?
As I stared at him while he watched Sirene performing, I wondered if it was at all possible that this man could be the one who would wipe away the painful memories of my past. Was he the one to make me believe that sex could be as enjoyable as it was depicted in the romance books I liked to read? I guess inside me, despite everything I still had that childish desire for the fairy tale ending, for that happily ever after. Again those words played over in my mind where he asked if I would let him show me how pleasurable sex could be and I said yes. Why did I keep hearing those words? Why did they feel so real? They couldn’t be real though; it had to be a dream, didn’t it?
Lucian glanced down at me and caught me staring. “What is it Arissa? You’re not going to ask me anything else about my sex life I hope?”
I blushed at his words. “No…I…I...could I have another drink, please?”
He looked at me, then the empty glass I was holding. “You want another drink? Do you feel alright? If you’re not accustomed to drinking you want to be careful of the effect it can have.”
“I feel fine, good actually. Just one more drink if that’s ok but if you don’t want to pay for it I will pay you back but I…I’m sorry, I forgot to bring money with me.”
Passion Follows Pain (Passion Series Book 3) Page 11