I stared at him for a moment, seeing the weak and pathetic creature that he was, the monster and for once not feeling the fear that he normally brought out in me. I don’t know whether finally fighting back in the motel room had been a turning point for me, or whether having a family of vampires on my side gave me the confidence, but I looked at him and I only felt anger, not the fear I was used to.
He watched me, as I looked up at him, seeing so much anger and contempt in his eyes and not understanding why. Why could my father not see that he was the one who was wrong? What he did, what he’d done, was all wrong. He only made things easier for me, and I lifted one hand, pulling it back, before slamming it into his face.
I wasn’t a big girl, I was too thin, no muscles, and when my fist made contact with my father’s face, I felt something shift in both his face and my hand. It hurt like hell. I’d never hit anyone before and it really, really hurt but before I could clutch my throbbing hand to me, I lifted my leg and kicked him as hard as I could between his legs.
Hearing his grunt of pain when I punched him, and seeing the spray of blood as I rearranged his already broken nose gave me a certain feeling of satisfaction. Hearing him scream and seeing him sag in the grip of both Fabian and Lucian bought a hint of a smile to my face. When my father crumpled to the dirty floor of the cell once he was released by the vampires, his hands clutching his groin after me kicking him, now that was the ultimate satisfaction.
Chapter Twenty One
Lucian
Lucian grinned when Arissa not only punched her father but kicked him and brought him to his knees. It wasn’t much for the bastard to have to put up with after all he’d done to her but he understood how it made her feel. It was all over her face just how much she’d enjoyed doing that to him.
She bent over him as he lay on the floor, groaning, his hands pressed to his groin. “No more father, no more of your crap. For years you raped me, impregnated me, performed your barbaric abortions on me and now I’m pretty sure you’ve sterilised me. Just as well I don’t ever intend having children. Why would I? I’ve had no good role model. I’d never bring a child into this world and risk him or her suffering the way I have. You kept me like a prisoner before and after school for years in that horrible room. You wouldn’t let me have a shower or decent food. I had no friends; I had nothing except for you. You thinking you were allowed to rape and beat me. You are not my father, you are a monster, a bastard, and you deserve to rot in here. I…hate…you!” She spat out.
Lucian watched her face and god he’d never seen an expression like that on her before. His angel had grown some balls big time and as he watched her, he couldn’t help smiling. She was all fired up, her blue eyes flashing. She was pissed off; looking so incredibly adorable to him, although that probably wasn’t the look she’d be going for. There was no way in hell he was going to tell her that either because he had a feeling she wouldn’t find it amusing, and he kind of liked his balls right where they were, still attached to his body.
Suddenly she looked up and caught him staring at her. Her eyes so intensely blue from her rage, and as they locked on his brown ones, she quirked an eyebrow at him. Something shifted in her look, a spark, a flash of something, excitement, desire, he wasn’t sure, but just like that, with that one look, he was hard. With just that one look from her, he found himself fighting not to shove her up against the wall and bury himself deep inside her, even if it was in front of his sire and her father.
“Come baby, let’s get out of here. You haven’t decided his fate have you?” Lucian asked.
Arissa shook her head. “I have an idea but I can’t say here and it will depend on other things.” She turned her gaze on Fabian and Lucian struggled with a surprising spark of jealousy that came from nowhere. What did she mean and what did it have to do with his sire?
“How long can you keep him down here for? I can provide the food for him but I don’t know what to do to him yet. Well, I have an idea but it depends…” Her voice trailed off.
“He can stay for now little one and it is not necessary for you to feed him. We will do that until a decision is made.”
“Father was determined to make sure I would not grow fat so he didn’t feed me enough. I was always so hungry. I want him to know what it feels like.” Her voice dropped to a whisper and Lucian saw a haunted expression in her beautiful eyes.
“Come baby, I want you out of here, away from him. He is sucking the life out of you.” He took her hand but then he paused, looking back at Arissa’s father who was still on the floor, curled up in a ball. “Now there’s a thought. I couldn’t touch him, he disgusts me but maybe Damien and Fran can feed from him if they want to. If we’re going to have a human down here, we might as well make the worthless bastard useful. He can feed those who want some blood.” He smiled.
“Lucian, don’t let them kill him. I…I need him to suffer down here awhile first.”
“He won’t be touched little one until you make your decision as to what will happen with him. Now come, let us get back upstairs. It is nearly morning and we are all weary.” Fabian said.
With a nod, Lucian took Arissa’s hand in his and they all headed back through the hidden dungeon of the house to the stairs.
“It is very late Arissa and I would prefer not to go and prepare your employer for your arrival back in her home this morning.” Fabian said once we were all back in the living room. “She will be alright for one more day. I will take you home this evening so I’m afraid you will need to stay with Lucian for today. I trust you are both alright with this?” He asked amusement in his eyes.
Arissa chewed nervously on her lip. “Are you sure Daisy, Mrs Appleby will be ok? It’s been hours since I’ve done anything for her, fed her, anything.”
“She will be fine. We will go over to her home this evening as soon as we rise and we generally rise just before sunset. Now, before we retire I’m sure you are waiting for my decision regarding you becoming vampire?” He turned his pale stare on Arissa and Lucian sat forward on the lounge. This was it, would his sire agree to her becoming one? “Tell me little one, do you still wish to be made vampire?”
Arissa
At Fabian’s question, I took a deep breath. Did I still want to be made vampire? I looked at him and Lucian, I thought about Damien, Francesca and what it would be like to live on blood.
“I still want to be made vampire but I worry about a couple of things.” I glanced nervously at Lucian.
He frowned as he stared at me. “What is it baby? What do you worry about?”
“You.” I said, dropping my head so I wouldn’t have to see his expression. I knew I had to give him an explanation but I was scared. I wanted to be with him forever but would he want me? What if he couldn’t feed from me anymore? Would he still want me? Was I only appealing to him because I was human because of the on tap blood supply?
“Baby talk to me, please. What’s wrong?”
“I think you would be more comfortable answering my son’s questions if I wasn’t around?” Fabian stood, his pale eyes shifting between us. “I believe this conversation can wait until this evening. I’m tired and I wish to go and join Sirene in our bed. Don’t stay up too late, it’s been a long twenty four hours. So much has happened. I bid you good night.”
I watched as he nodded to both of us and left the room. As soon as he was gone Lucian turned to me. “What’s wrong? I thought you wanted to be made vampire? Now I feel like you’re not so keen for that to happen.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to be turned Lucian. It’s…it’s us. I…I love you and I want to be with you, but I worry that it’s too soon for us, that you might not want me. Do you only like me because you can drink from me?”
He took me by surprise when he swore loudly and released me, walking to the other side of the room. I jumped when he slammed his hand against the wall, fortunately not damaging anything. For the first time his behaviour was frightening me. This was the first time I’d felt scare
d around him. Why was he suddenly so angry?
Finally he walked back to me and I cringed on the lounge unsure of his intentions. He must have seen my reaction because he stopped, frowned, and then cursed again. “For fuck sakes Arissa, do you think I’m going to hurt you? Have I ever given you reason to think I would hurt you?” My throat felt choked off so all I could do was shake my head at him. “Well why do you look terrified right now? I’m not your fucking father.”
“I know you’re not but…but…” I couldn’t seem to bring myself to finish what I was trying to say. Fear that he wouldn’t want me held me paralysed. He said he loved me, but would he still love me as a vampire? It was forever, and the thought that he might change his mind, scared the hell out of me. If he went back to picking up women for sex and blood as he said he’d done with Damien, I wouldn’t survive it; it would destroy me.
“Dammit Arissa, speak to me. What the hell is wrong? I’m not the fucking enemy here. This is important. Have you changed your mind about being vampire? If you have, for fuck sakes just say so.” He snapped, his eyes flashing with irritation.
I stared at him, realising that this was the other side of him, a side I’d not seen before, and I wondered how often I might get to see it, because I didn’t like it. I wanted my nice kind, caring Lucian back, not this man who stood before me, bristling with anger, a stranger to me.
“Are you going to answer me?” He snapped. “Fuck this, I’m so damned tired. I need to sleep so will you just answer the fucking question? Do you want to be a vampire or not?”
I looked up at Lucian’s beautiful face that for the first time ever was filled with anger directed at me and I suddenly felt bone achingly weary too. It had been a huge twenty four hours and I knew I’d be feeling so much worse if it wasn’t for the blood he’d given me, but I suddenly felt so overwhelmed, my body close to collapsing. As I stared up at him, I literally crumbled before his eyes, and burst into tears, loud, gut wrenching sobs.
Through the watery haze I saw Lucian’s expression change and he dropped to his knees in front of me. “Oh god baby, I’m sorry, don’t cry, please my angel, I’m sorry, so sorry.” He kept murmuring as he pulled me into his arms.
I couldn’t seem to stop though and I clung to him, feeling his hard chest against my cheek. Within minutes I’d soaked his t-shirt with my tears, and still I cried. When I finally quietened and my tears were reduced to little more than an occasional hiccup, I felt his fingers under my chin, tilting my face up.
“Why baby, why the tears? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you but I panicked when I thought you no longer wanted to be made vampire.”
“You…you want me to be a vampire?” I asked my voice shaky.
“God yes of course. How could you not think I wouldn’t want you to be one? I love you baby. I want you by my side, not just now, not just for a week, a month, even years. I don’t want to lose you to the ravages of time, I don’t want to see you grow old, frail, to one day leave me alone when you die. I want you with me for eternity. Why would you think I didn’t want you?”
“I got scared Lucian. I...all this, my feelings are so new and I can’t imagine not being with you. Then I thought about what Fran said, how you and Damien were well, generous with the love?” I said smiling tentatively at him. “I suddenly thought what if I’m turned and then a few weeks down the track you get bored and don’t want me? I’m vampire, I can’t go back and I have to watch you…I have to watch you…” Fresh tears welled in my eyes. “I couldn’t do it Lucian. I would want to die before I watched you with other women. I never in a million years thought I’d ever give myself to a man. I was adamant I wanted nothing to do with them until I met you, and now you’ve shown me what it’s like, I don’t ever want to lose that, I don’t ever want to lose you. It’s not just that though. You like to feed from me but if I’m vampire then I won’t have the blood for you to enjoy anymore.”
“You’ve got that wrong. As vampires, we still feed from one another. Trust me Fabian and Sirene, Dominick and Allegra bite each other while they fuck. We can feed off one another for a little while but we do have to go out for human blood eventually. The difference would be that rather than taking my idiot brother, I’d have my angel with me. I would show you how to feed because it’s the hardest thing to learn, the control. You have to learn when to stop feeding off someone because Fabian’s main rule with us is no killing humans by draining, even if it is an accident. He is quite clear about that, and it’s a crime that is punishable by death. We kill someone, he’ll kill us because we live largely in the world of humans, so it’s important that no one ever knows about us. I don’t want to think about what would happen to us if what we are was ever discovered.”
“I want you to teach me all there is to know about being a vampire then Lucian. I don’t want to do anything wrong but I want to be with you.”
“If Fabian agrees, I will turn you myself. We will have to wait until this evening for his answer. We should get some sleep now, it’s nearly dawn.”
“Where will I stay?” I asked, reluctant to just assume I’d sleep with Lucian.
“Fuck baby, do you even need to ask? I want you with me of course.” He leaned forward and touched his lips to mine.
I threw myself into his arms, tunnelling my fingers through his hair and dragged him closer. Suddenly needy, I pushed my tongue into his mouth and felt the low rumble of a growl building up in his chest. I swept his tongue with mine, licking at him, savouring him, wanting him.
Eagerly I ran my hands down to his shoulders, smoothing my palms over his t-shirt, loving the feel of his hard muscles flexing under my fingers. It wasn’t enough though and my hands moved restlessly over him, over his chest, his stomach, feeling the ridges of his abdominal muscles as he tightened them under my touch. He felt amazing, so strong and hard; so beautiful, but I wanted more and finally my hands shifted, cupping him through his jeans. I sighed into his mouth when I felt his erection through the denim and my body responded with a rush of moisture between my legs.
He ripped his lips from mine and I panted, dragging oxygen into my lungs as I rubbed him, feeling him swell even more under my touch. My body felt like it was on fire. I felt needy, desperate to be closer to him, to feel him against me, to have him inside me. This I realised was sexual desire. I wanted him; I wanted him to make love to me. No actually, it was more, I wanted it hard and fast, I wanted him to fuck me and I wanted it now.
“Baby slow down; fuck.” He groaned when I started tearing at the button on his jeans, popping it open and reaching for his zip. Before he could stop me, I’d carefully pulled it down and slipped my hand inside. I grasped him, excited, knowing I lacked skill but hoping I made up for it with enthusiasm. I sighed, my tongue circling my lips when I felt him so big and hard and with shaking fingers, I pulled him free of the denim and took him in my hand.
“Fuck Arissa, please baby, don’t, I want you, fuck I want you now.” He groaned and I whimpered in response. “Dammit, dammit, fuck it but I can’t wait. You’re driving me crazy.”
He pulled away and sat on the lounge by my side, arranging a couple of cushions at one end before lying down against them. “Get up for a moment.” He said and I stood, my legs feeling unsteady. I watched him lift his legs onto the lounge and lay back, his expression filled with lust and his eyes darkened with his desire as he looked up at me. “Straddle me baby, come.” He raised his arms and I eagerly climbed onto him, throwing one leg over him until I could sit on his thighs. His erection rose between us and I wrapped my hand around it again, staring at it, fascinated with its beauty and those piercings along it.
“Did these hurt?” I asked him. “I like them, they feel good but they must have hurt to be pierced here.”
“They hurt like hell but I’m glad you like them and that they feel good. They feel good to me too when I’m inside you.” He slipped one hand under my t-shirt and I gasped when his fingers delved into my pussy, sliding through my folds, flicking over my cl
it causing me to arch into his touch.
“Lucian, please.” I moaned. “I...I want, I want you in me, please.”
“Come ride me baby. If you want me, you come and take me. Take me inside you. You set the pace.” He grabbed my hips and I rose, shifting until I was poised over his straining erection. I took his cock in my hand, holding him against my entrance and with a sigh of relief from both of us I slowly lowered myself onto him, moaning as he slipped inside; inch by glorious inch until he was as deep as he could go. I could feel pressing hard up against my womb. I felt so full of him, full of Lucian, full of his cock. I gave a little wiggle of my hips, feeling his piercings rub inside me. It felt so good and I sighed, tightening around him, savouring this moment of being consumed by my vampire. It was the calm before the inevitable storm, the moment rapidly approaching when I would need to move, our bodies as one, making love, both driven for this to end in our sweet and glorious release.
“Oh god you feel so good, so tight, so hot, so fucking wet.” He growled and the tone of his voice excited me. Looking down into his face and seeing the heat in his gaze, to know I was doing this to him was a heady experience but I wanted more and I wanted it now.
I lifted myself until I felt just the head of his shaft still inside me, then lowered again, loving that slow invasion, feeling him rub over me, in me, that delicious friction as those piercings brushed inside me. I couldn’t believe how much I’d hated this when at the hands of my father but with Lucian I cherished it, wanted it, and needed his possession of me. With him, I savoured it and loved the intimacy of it, to be being joined to him this way.
He tightened his grip on my hips and began to lift me and lower me and I smiled at his obvious impatience. He needed more from me but then if I was honest with myself, so did I. Bracing myself on him, I began to move faster, feeling my body tighten, my heartbeat quicken, my breathing grow more ragged.
Passion Follows Pain (Passion Series Book 3) Page 26