Except him. All this Christmas frivolity and good cheer was giving him a headache. He would be glad to return to London in a few weeks, back to the normal, predictable routine of his life. Yet now that Rebecca Tremaine had made her presence known, would his life ever be the same?
Cameron blew out a frustrated sigh and pondered what else he could do to diffuse the underlying tension permeating the air whenever they were together. He had managed to do an admirable job of being pleasant this morning, and she had responded in kind, but he suspected that was because Lily was near. One thing he had learned about Miss Tremaine these past few days; she would not make a scene in front of her daughter.
Her daughter. Good Lord, precisely when had he come to think of Lily as being her daughter?
Cameron made an impatient sound, annoyed with himself for dwelling too long on the matter. He wondered again if he had made a mistake by inviting Miss Tremaine and her brother to Windmere for the holidays, then felt irritated that he was second-guessing his decisions, something he rarely did under any circumstances.
Still, his choices had been limited. Ignoring the problem because it was difficult and unpleasant was not going to make it go away. What he needed were distractions. Yes, that was it. He needed to fill his days with some of the distractions easily available at the estate, something that preferably had nothing to do with Christmas.
Several of the gentlemen had mentioned they would be gathering in the billiards room and Cameron decided he would join them shortly, even though he seldom played. But first, he needed to venture upstairs to the nursery and play one quick game of backgammon with Lily, as he had promised her.
It was unusually quiet when he reached the nursery doors and he suspected most of the children were napping at this time of day. It was part of the normal routine for the younger children, but after all the fresh air and exercise searching for greenery this morning, he would not be surprised to find the older boys asleep. Maybe even Lily was resting.
One benefit of this holiday was the number of children visiting. A few of the other parents had commented that it was too chaotic, but the earl was glad to see the nursery filled with boisterous youngsters, making the room alive with their laughter and joy and innocence.
As a boy he had loved his sister dearly, yet had longed for a larger family of brothers and sisters with which to play. He wondered fleeting if Lily too felt the lack of siblings in her life.
The nursery door was ajar. Cameron peered inside and saw Lily was the only child in the room. She was seated at her favorite wooden table, which was covered with a collection of her paper dolls and their ensembles. One of the younger maids, Molly, sat beside her. They were both engrossed in some sort of game.
“The tabs on this riding habit have come off,” Lily complained. “I can‘t get it to stay on my doll. How will the queen go riding if she isn‘t wearing her habit?”
“Why, that‘s no problem at all,” Molly said cheerfully. “I‘ll show you a trick. All we need to do is use a wee bit of wax and the dress will stay in place.”
“Are you sure it will work?”
Molly nodded. Heads pressed together, they worked on getting the outfit affixed to the doll.
“There!” Smiling, the maid held up the paper doll for Lily‘s inspection and the little girl clapped enthusiastically.
“Let me try.” Lily reached out and pulled the doll to her side of the table.
“Be sure to use just a small amount of the wax, Lady Lily,” the maid warned. “Here now, be careful. And gentle, be very gentle. You don‘t want to rip the dress.”
Her expression rapt with concentration, Lily fumbled with the wax and paper. Cameron saw Molly reach out to help, but Lily deliberately pushed the maid‘s hand away. Typically, she wanted to do it herself.
“Look what you did!” Lily cried out. “The hem is torn and the feather is ripped. Queen Victoria‘s gown is ruined. It‘s ruined!”
“No, it‘s not,” the maid answered calmly. “We can fix it. Just wait a minute.”
“No! Stop it! Don‘t touch it, you‘ll make it worse!” Lily‘s hand shot out and she tugged on the paper dress the maid held. The sound of it tearing filled the room.
“Oh, goodness,” Molly exclaimed.
“It‘s ripped all the way! You are a stupid, stupid girl!” Lily threw the two halves of the paper dress onto the floor. Screeching with anger, she then swept her arms across the table, sending all the paper dolls and their various clothes flying about the room. Her usual sunny disposition disappeared completely as a full temper tantrum began.
“Now, what did you go and do that for?” Molly asked. “All the pretty dolls and their nice clothes are thrown on the floor.”
“It‘s your fault,” Lily cried. “You ruined everything, Molly.”
The maid slowly shook her head, as if puzzled by that conclusion. “Well, then, who is going to clean up this mess?”
“You will!” Lily crossed her arms and stomped her feet. “You are the maid and I am the lady, so you need to clean it up. Do it now! This minute. Or else I am going to tattle on you and Mrs. Evans will be mad.”
Cameron blinked, not certain if he was more stunned or angry at Lily‘s behavior. What he did know was that he had heard more than enough. He pushed the door completely open and stormed into the nursery.
“Oh, Papa.” Lily‘s eyes filled with tears and she ran to him. “Molly is being ever so mean to me and she has ruined my very favorite outfit for Queen Victoria.”
The maid jumped to her feet and turned toward him. She stood nervously next to the table, wringing the material of her white apron in her hands, the paper dolls and dresses scattered around her feet. He felt a bolt of sympathy for her.
“Where is Mrs. James?” Cameron asked.
The maid‘s eyes widened. “She went down to the servants‘ quarters to have her tea. She asked permission from Mrs. Evans and she said it would all right if I stayed with Lady Lily until Mrs. James returns.”
“What happened here?” he asked.
Lily‘s eyes looked innocently back into his, her expression sweet and calm. “Molly made a mess, Papa. She ruined everything.”
Cameron looked into the visibly frightened eyes of the maid and frowned. “Is that what happened, Molly. You made this mess?”
“No, my lord.” Molly dropped to her knees and hastily began to scoop up the various paper dolls and their paper dresses.
“She did so make that mess!” Lily said in a high-pitched voice. “You need to send her away from here and tell her never to come back. She is disgraceful.”
Disgraceful? Hmm, that sounded familiar. Was that not precisely how Mrs. James had described Lily‘s actions at the vicarage the other day?
Molly‘s features turned to stone. She slowly rose from her knees and carefully placed the items she had gathered from the floor onto the table. She bent down to continue with her task, but Cameron reached out a hand to stop her. The maid‘s eyes clouded with confusion.
Cameron tensed slightly as he considered the best way to handle the situation. In the face of so much childish emotion, he knew calm was called for, knew it was important to keep his own feelings of annoyance at bay.
He went down on his knees before Lily, meeting her face-to-face. Her crying had stopped, but her continued distress was evident in the way she bit her bottom lip.
“Will you look me in the eye and tell me precisely what happened?” Cameron asked.
She nodded.
“And will you promise this time to tell me the truth?”
Another nod.
“Molly ripped Queen Victoria‘s riding habit and then threw the dolls and their clothes on the floor,” Lily declared in a breathless rush.
He glanced at the maid. She looked back at him in mute appeal, obviously unsure if she could contradict Lily.
“Molly already told me she did not make this mess. Clearly, one of you is lying.”
“It‘s wrong to lie,” Lily whispered. She bit her lip a
nd shut her eyes very tightly for a few moments.
“Yes it is wrong,” he agreed. “I was outside the nursery door, Lily. I heard and saw all that happened.”
Lily‘s eyes popped open. “Mrs. James says it‘s rude to eavesdrop on other people and listen to what they are saying.”
“That might very well be, but in this case it was a good thing that I heard and saw what I did or else I would never have learned the truth. It was you who behaved badly and made this mess, not Molly.”
He could practically see the denial spring to Lily‘s lips, but then she hesitated, thinking before she spoke. “I‘m sorry.”
Relieved she would not be so bold as to continue with the lie, Cameron decided to be lenient. “I am not sure what is worse, Lily, behaving so badly or lying about it. Now pick up your dolls and the clothes.”
Her contrite attitude quickly vanished. “I don‘t want to,” she declared, placing her hands on her hips.
Cameron slowly rose from his knees, his patience wearing thin. “If you do not clean this up, then I will put everything back in the box, take the box from this room and you will never see your dolls again.”
Lily‘s eyes rounded with shock. “You can‘t do that! Those are my toys.”
“They were given to you by me, a gift for my well-behaved daughter.”
Her expression mulish, Lily contemplated her options. Eventually realizing she had none she stomped over to the table. Grumbling, she tossed the items Molly had placed on the table into the box, then picked up the few remaining paper items from the floor and threw them in too.
When she finished, she sat in her chair, crossed her arms and glared at him.
Cameron nearly laughed. She was a miniature version of a grand lady in a temper, her mood spoiled, her pride pricked. Heaven help him when she reached womanhood if she did not learn to control her temper.
“Now, you will apologize to Molly for your rude remarks,” he ordered.
Lily jumped from the chair, her face a mask of six-year-old indignity. “Molly is a maid! I am a lady! Jane Grolier says you must always be bossy to your servants and give them orders. It keeps them in their place.”
Cameron blew out his breath. When had his sweet-tempered little girl turned into such a tyrant?
“A lady treats everyone with kindness and respect. Your grandmother would never act so poorly toward anyone, be they servant or queen. Neither would Aunt Charlotte or cousin Marion. I am very ashamed of you, Lily.”
Her lower lip jutted out rebelliously. Geeze, now what? Cameron worried that he might have to push the issue, but then Lily relented.
“I am sorry I yelled at you, Molly.”
The maid‘s face relaxed in relief. “And I am sorry, that Queen Victoria‘s riding habit was ripped. If you‘d like, I‘ll try to fix it for you.”
Lily‘s eyes sparkled with eagerness. “Oh, yes. That would be grand.”
“Tomorrow, Molly,” Cameron said.
The maid nodded. She picked up the box of paper dolls and placed it carefully on the shelf. She straightened the area around the play table, then awaited further instructions. He dismissed her but before she left, Molly leaned forward and spoke to him in a confidential whisper.
“Lady Lily is tired this afternoon, my lord. That‘s why she was a bit out of sorts.”
Cameron blinked in surprise. Being tired was hardly an acceptable excuse, but it bespoke well of Molly‘s character that she would defend the little girl after Lily had acted like such a brat.
The maid dipped a curtsy, then a second one, and whisked herself from the room.
Cameron‘s gaze returned to Lily. She was leaning against the table, her head bent, her finger idly moving over the surface of the wood. He knew he needed to mete out some sort of punishment for her behavior, nothing too severe, but something with enough impact that would make her think twice before acting so rudely again.
As a boy he had suffered an occasional caning for his youthful misdeeds but the idea of striking Lily made him physically ill. It would be better to punish her by taking away a privilege or refusing to allow her to participate in an activity she enjoyed. Yet it seemed especially mean-spirited to deny her during this holiday season, when many events would not take place again until next year.
Still, he had to do something.
“You have greatly disappointed me, Lily.”
“I was very naughty,” she agreed, her head still lowered.
He heard the regret in her voice. “Apologizing to me for lying and to Molly for behaving so rudely was a proper start. But you must be punished.”
She nodded solemnly.
Cameron swallowed. This was proving to be much harder than he thought. Her contrite, dejected attitude tore at his heart. He liked his feisty, spirited little girl, not this timid, sad creature.
Frantically, he racked his brain, trying to remember the type of discipline used to keep Charlotte from misbehaving. Yet he could not recall a single incident where his shy, gentle sister had disobeyed, though surely there must have been a few.
“I think it best if you not be allowed to have dessert for the remainder of the week,” he finally proclaimed. “I shall inform Cook and Mrs. James.”
Lily‘s shoulders rose as she let out a deep, shuddering sigh. He felt as though he was taking the breath with her. Relieved it was over, Cameron lifted her chin. She stared up at him, her eyes large in her small face.
His heart lurched. Cupping her face, he gently wiped away the tears coursing down her cheeks with his thumbs.
He was used to Lily‘s dramatic flux of emotions, the noisy, gulping sobs she seemed to be able to start and stop at the drop of a hat. Yet as much as it upset him to hear her loud wailing and noisy sobs, there was something far more disturbing about a child crying so silently.
“Please don‘t be mad at me anymore, Papa. Please.”
“Oh, Puss.”
He lifted her into his arms. She twined her arms around his neck and buried her face into his shoulder. Slowly, he rocked back and forth on his heels. This was part of the discipline, too. Forgiving her, but more importantly, reassuring her that he still loved her no matter how badly she had acted.
He continued moving to and fro and the gentle swaying motion calmed them both. Soon he felt the steady rise and fall of her breathing and realized Lily had fallen asleep. He walked out of the nursery, down the hall to her bedchamber and placed her on the bed.
She barely stirred when he removed her shoes, let out a soft, sleepy moan as he pulled the coverlet up to her chin to keep her warm.
Cameron‘s mind was heavy as he gazed down at the slumbering child, looking so innocent and angelic. But he knew it was an illusion. Her behavior this afternoon went beyond what could be blamed on exhaustion. Lily had been spiteful and nasty. Hearing her words and the tone she used had made his blood run cold.
It forced him to think back, to remember the times Charlotte had timidly suggested he not indulge Lily‘s whims so easily and so often. The occasions where his mother declared she needed a respite from Lily‘s high spirits. The numerous conversations where Mrs. James had tried to tactfully elicit his support in enforcing stricter behavior from her charge.
The distress and concern in Rebecca Tremaine‘s voice when she declared herself appalled at the temper tantrum Lily threw when they were at the vicarage. He almost laughed as he recalled his staunch defense of the child, his accusations that Miss Tremaine was overreacting to a situation she did not comprehend.
He knew now it was he who had been in the wrong and it was high time he faced the truth of the matter. Lily had many good qualities and those needed to be nurtured and encouraged. Likewise, she had several unattractive qualities, of which he had to claim partial responsibility. He had spoiled and indulged her too much, was in part a reason she was fast becoming a tyrant. And that was behavior he could not, and would not, tolerate.
With an exclamation of disgust, the earl moved from Lily‘s bedchamber and descended the staircase
. This problem with Lily needed to be addressed head-on and he knew it was his duty to set the example and approve and as well as enforce the changes that were needed.
But even more daunting than tackling the challenge of getting his child‘s unruly attitude and behavior under control, was knowing that he owed Rebecca Tremaine an apology.
Chapter 10
Charlotte sat at her dressing table and stared at herself in the mirror. Her evening gown was a cream-colored creation that brought out the rosy hue in her cheeks. The flattering neckline allowed her to showcase a single strand of perfectly matched pearls with a diamond clasp, a gift from her parents on her twenty-first birthday. Her hairstyle was a cascading mound of soft, dark curls accented with a single satin ribbon woven through the design.
Was it possible? She looked almost…pretty. She shut her eyes at the fanciful notion, then quickly opened them. Amazingly, the same attractive woman was still reflected in the mirror. Yet Charlotte did not believe this fleeting glimpse of beauty she found came from her outward appearance. It was not the result of a gown of a flattering shade, nor a hairstyle that was softer and more youthful.
The beauty came from within. It came, she was convinced, from the kiss she had shared this afternoon with Daniel Tremaine. Her first kiss. The most perfect kiss in the world.
It was still difficult to believe it had actually happened. ‘Twas a moment void of reality, a dream, a secret longing come to life. For her, Daniel‘s kiss was a perfect treasure, a memory that she could hold in her heart and cherish. A memory that she could revisit, a moment that she could relive, when the loneliness and emptiness in her life became too strong.
Charlotte sighed. Raising her hand she slowly skimmed her fingertips over her lips, remembering every sensation, every feeling. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined the delicious sensations that would claim her body, the emotional fullness that would embrace her heart when he held her close. When his lips claimed hers.
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