by Brock, V. L.
He nods earnestly while unfolding his arms and cradling the side of my face. “It is a view that is so…inconceivable, paralyzing, stunning. I want to witness that beauty with you.” He binds his arms around my waist. The ground moves away from my feet as he lifts me up to meld our lips, his tongue soft, moist and warm as we coil, lock and knead at each other.
He places me back down gently and grins, his eyes glowing as he proffers his hand, and I accept it without an ounce of reluctance.
Looking down at my watch, I see it is 1:05 p.m. That means we have been walking for at least an hour. My legs ache and my back aches––actually, the aching and numbness I suffered as a result of being cramped up in the car for the four hour drive it took for us to get here, seems like luxury in comparison.
The funny thing about nature is, when you think you have seen the most beautiful and unique view…another one pops right out around the next corner. I remember on our first date, Hayden told me about his love for hiking and nature…now I understand why; it’s so free and naturally beautiful.
The sense of insignificance is overpowering as I chase the narrow, haphazard steps of the cliff with my eyes. It really puts into perspective how tiny we are when you are surrounded by cliffs and mountain faces which have been forming for millions of years.
I discern a loud gushing––it’s near deafening, and I can sense Hayden’s ever-growing excitement as he struggles to control his face-splitting grin. But his eyes and body language express the words that his mouth does not.
I glance from Hayden, to the steps and back again. My brow arches cynically as he answers my unspoken question with an approving, enthusiastic nod of his head. I roll my eyes and exhale noisily.
With Hayden’s hand locked in mine, we begin the ascent.
“Remind me never to take elevators for granted again,” I gasp as we continue our trek up the cliff. There are rocks and boulders scattered upon the lush green grass to the left of the steep mountain side. The steps are all cracked and chipped, betraying their age, and the upsurge of the torrential din is not doing anything for my bladder.
Hayden points around the corner to the right. “Look over there.”
“Hayden, all I see is another cliff.” I sound a little more vexed than I intend.
“We’ll go up a little farther; you should begin to see it then.”
And as promised, as we follow a few more steps around the curvature of the cliff, I can see the clear blue sky being met by white foam. Motivated by my inquisitiveness, I cautiously dart up the rock. The gushing is louder than I ever deemed possible.
I stand immobilized. My jaw drops open in awe as I witness the magnificent, gigantic waterfall before me. I have seen waterfalls on the Geographic channels, but I have never actually seen one personally. I am awash with emotions…no pun intended.
Hayden was right, it is paralyzing.
“It’s beautiful…”
“We are probably three-thousand feet above the valley floor, yet, we are only about half way from the top of this fall.”
“Does it have a name?” I ask, powerless to remove my focus away from the picturesque vista at my feet.
“Yes…Vernal Falls,” he answers, still gaping at the spectacle.
Sensing his scrutiny, I will myself to draw my gaze away and face him, but it is as though my head is in a vice, forcing me to watch the beauty of the misting residue emit from the fall.
“What are you thinking?”
I shake my head not knowing exactly what I am thinking…it’s more of a feeling. This has been here for thousands of years, hundreds of thousands of people have gazed upon its beauty within that time, and I feel a part of it…spiritually.
“I could quite happily stand here, and watch this for the rest of my life, Hayden. I am captivated by its beauty, its freedom…I…”
“How you feel watching this…how you want to freeze time and just witness it for an eternity…” placing his thumb and index finger of his left hand under my chin, Hayden coaxes my head around to face him. His eyes smouldering with an emotion, to which, I have become a target of since we pulled up in the parking lot yesterday afternoon. He rolls his tongue over his lips, his body pressed against mine. I breathe him in deeply, the combination of the fresh air and his sweat, tainted with the mild scent of Dior. I close my eyes briefly, savoring the smells and sounds around me.
I peek up as his right hand cradles the side of my face, his thumb tracing the seam of my mouth. Dropping forward, he rests his brow against mine.
“That is how I feel…every time I look at you.”
“Hayden…what are you doing to me?” A lone tear escapes passed the barrage I had no idea was set in place.
“I hope…I’m doing the same to you, as what you are doing to me,” he whispers. “Are you okay, beautiful?”
Sniffling back my tears, I mutter, “My legs are killing me actually. Do you mind if we sit for a while?” and I shift my weight from leg to leg.
“Sure.”
I lower my aching, throbbing body to the cracked rock of the steps when Hayden startles me. He points to a smallish boulder to the right of us.
“Be quiet…” he snaps. “Look over there.”
“I have seen numerous rocks on this journey, Hayden, they all look the same.”
“Not the rock…beside it.” I squint, and vaguely discern something black hopping its way across, to be met by another.
“What is that?”
“Ravens,” he whispers.
“Ravens…?” Whipping my head around, I glare at Hayden with palpable alarm. “Aren’t they a bad omen?”
He nods. “They can be.” Oh, great, just what we need, a bad omen at three-thousand feet alongside a waterfall. I look back at the two large birds, hopping around over the rocks and in the grass. “But they also mate for life.”
I crane my head around to a sweaty Hayden. His forearms perched up on his knees, as he steeples his fingers, his mouth curves into a sexy-half smile. The sweat-infused roots of his floppy hair allows his thick mane to stay pushed back when he runs his hand through it.
Touched by the level of feeling and sentiment behind his words, I smile timidly. God, he always knows the perfect things to say. It hasn’t been long, yet I feel as though I’m falling down the rabbit hole hard and fast with this man…with my feelings. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared, but in seeing his face and hearing his voice…my fears are soon obliterated.
He squeezes my thigh, and glances down the cliff at more approaching tourists. “I’ve got an idea. Excuse me, sir,” Hayden’s voice echoes deeply as a couple makes their treacherous journey up to the falls. “Would you mind taking our picture?”
The man nods, and Hayden hands him his digital camera. He takes position sitting on the step behind me. His arms are draped protectively over my shoulders, my hands resting on his muscular forearms. I feel the familiar roughness of his stubble upon the left side of my face as he curls around me.
“Ready…? Say Vernal Falls…”
We arrive back at the Ahwahnee at 6:15 p.m. Muscles I never knew I had are burning and throbbing. I know I’m going to pay for this tomorrow. I screw my eyes closed and groan at the thought.
Hayden and I are mirror images, sitting on the sumptuous beige couch in front of the roaring fire with only our complimentary robes wrapped around us.
“I must say, Samantha…you really surprised me today. I never thought you would actually make that hike without me having to carry you at some point.” He sounds ecstatic, while his eyes reveal his pride.
I offer a half-smile back at him as I take a sip of the Dom Pérignon.
“That’s one down, one more to go.”
He cocks his head and regards me with a puzzled expression.
Arching my brow, the left side of my mouth curls, and I absentmindedly trace the rim of my champagne flute with the middle finger of my right hand.
“On our first date, you said that you enjoyed hiking and rock-climbing. Well, we have done the hik
e and you seemed totally into it…”
He grins as he shifts against the cushions and rests his right arm along the back of the couch. “You want to go rock-climbing?”
“Hayden, it’s what you enjoy doing,”––I shrug my shoulders and shake my head frivolously––“I wouldn’t mind giving it ago.”
His cheekbones rise, showcasing that perfect pearly-white, muscle clenching, blood-surging smile. “Okay. I’ll make the arrangements, shall we go next Saturday?” he takes a sip of his drink.
“Yeah, okay.”
“Are you sure about this now?”
“I wouldn’t have suggested it otherwise.” I lean in and offer a quick reassuring kiss.
Hayden kneels on the rug and feeds the fire. I stare at him intently, recalling everything that we have done this weekend––how special he has made it; the fun, the laughter, the openness…but most of all, what we have achieved as a couple. And the feelings to which, have been growing stronger and are slowly and painfully becoming harder to remain unspoken.
But the level of vulnerability which could come from it terrifies me.
If I broach the subject, I might as well be handing him the very weapon to take my life should he so desire. My body tingles, my stomach tumbles and knots and my chest and throat swell with the words I should want to utter––a perfect end to the perfect break.
Depositing my champagne flute on the floor at the corner of the couch, I slip myself off the seat and crawl up behind him, as he remains kneeling in silence, staring into the dancing flames. I let my hands rest upon his shoulders. The simplicity of my touch draws him from his daze. He turns to face me.
Too terrified to verbally express myself, I stare into the warm depths of his eyes, my right hand pressed softly against the side of his face. Flexing my fingers, I delight in the roughness beneath my fingertips and plead with every fibre of my being that he can read my intentions and the sentiments that lay heavily behind them.
I sweep my tongue across my lips and gently catch the tip of it between my teeth as I retract it unhurriedly. Hayden’s breathing is already spiking, his chest raising and falling rapidly. I want to lean in and kiss him, but the unvoiced conversation that we engaging in, the demeanors and penetrating stares…it’s heady and intense, arousing and so beautiful.
“Sam––”
“Shush…” I press my index finger against his lips, and continue to trail it down his chin, his throat, to the small exposed V of his chest. Amid our synchronized movements, we watch how our eyes betray our thoughts, our desires, enraptured by glinting and darkening irises. We both free the ties of the robes allowing them to fall open before guiding and pushing the material down one another’s arms to meet their fate in a fluffy pool around us. I can feel the burning heat from the fire beside me, heating at my surfaces while Hayden’s unwavering scrutiny heats and liquefies my insides.
Hayden swings his legs from under himself. I take my position above him, my knees resting on either side of his hips. I writhe and groan as sweet sensations spawn from my clitoris and streaks through my needing body as it grazes over Hayden’s growing firmness beneath me. Swiftly encircling my waist, he positions himself at my entrance.
I want to talk, to say something, but I capture my lip in the vice-like grip of my teeth, and Hayden’s mouth forms the perfect O when I lower myself onto him at a tantalizingly slow pace. I treasure the sensations as I take his length inch-by-inch, feeling his body stretching me, owning me. Hayden answers my moans with feral like sounds that spur me and in some strange way, connects with my unspoken emotional state.
He tilts his pelvis upward and I still myself at his base. I circle my hips as he buries himself inside me, drowning in the fullness, and the sensation of him pushing against me. For once in my life, I welcome this uncharted level of intimacy––I need this level of intimacy, for it speaks the words that I cannot.
The blended red and orange flickering colors of the flames to my right glow against our flesh as I continue to rock onto him. Framing his face in the heats of my hands, he falls under my attentive gaze, and in that moment, we are not only gazing into each other’s eyes…we are gazing into each other’s souls.
Everything is intensified. The furrowing of Hayden’s brow as the air hisses between his teeth, the small O his mouth forms as I tense my thighs to raise me, and relax as I slide back down onto him, our arduous breaths, and the flicks of our tongues dashing across our lips between the sweet, gentle moans of pleasure. I have never experienced something as special as this. It’s something I’ll never forget. It’s something I want to experience again.
His right hand is at the nape of my neck, while his left rests at the small of my back.
“Kiss me,” he whispers. I comply immediately, melding my lips with his, our tongues caress with prolific tenderness, a tenderness that is so incredibly expressive.
Feeling myself build and stiffen, I pull my mouth away from his. My legs are trembling as I continue to claim him before the crackling flames. I throw my head back absorbing all of the sensations that is being bestowed on my body, while also absorbing and communicating those in which are raging like wildfire throughout my body.
Watching each other nearing our release, Hayden propels his hips upward once again before stilling and I quiver on top him, watching the pleasure returned in the other’s eyes whilst we climax together. For the first time ever, as my highly sensitized, sated body spirals back from its pleasurable release, the dam bursts and my face is soon stained with tears, as I weep irrepressibly.
“Hey…hey, beautiful…” Hayden whispers on an outward breath, pushing hair back from my shoulders, before catching my falling tears. “I didn’t hurt you did I?” he sounds alarmed.
I shake my head.
“Then, what’s the matter…?”
Unable to form the words, I cry even harder. The swelling in my throat, in my gut…in my heart grows more and more distinctive.
Still buried deep inside me, Hayden infolds me his arms, and pulls me down to him. “I don’t like seeing you like this, beautiful…please, tell me.” He kisses the top of my head, rhythmically rocking us in an attempt to appease me.
I sniffle, and the reality of––what if he doesn’t feel the same way about me––niggles to the front of my mind. I suddenly feel nauseous and the fear of the vulnerability I would feel declaring my feelings fades, only to be replaced by the fear of rejection, of disappointment.
“I––” I sigh, “Oh, Hayden…” I hesitate, but the caring expression he is displaying demonstrates his patience. “You have made this so special for me.” I rest my hand against the side of his face amorously, wishing I could read what lies behind his passionate, glazing eyes. I can do this…I can do this. “I…I…”
And it is Hayden’s turn to press his index finger upon my lips. He hushes me at once, then nods, acknowledging my hesitancy but interpreting the underlining reason of my motives, before whispering, “Me, too.”
***
I smile at the picture I hold in my hands, my fingers tracing down our smiling faces, as we sit at the steps of Vernal Falls, the end of the rainbow blending into the mist of the uprising water of the fall. I glance over at my alarm clock, 5:25 a.m. My eyes feel dry and my eyelids heavy. I still have another two hours before the alarm sounds. Leaning over to my bedside, I turn the lamp off, and snuggle back down under the fluffy comforter. Hayden may not be here with me physically tonight, but, I have the next best thing.
And with that, I clutch my photo frame between firm hands and rest it on my chest, carrying my happy reminiscences as I drift.
It feels as though I have only just closed my eyes for a split second by the time the alarm sounds its annoying, piercing buzzing sound. Dammit! I slam my left hand down on the top of it and luckily enough, the alarm stops. I would have no reservation about throwing the damn thing against the wall this morning. I groan, today is going to be Hell. I’m a nightmare when I don’t get enough sleep.
Looking dow
n at my chest, I find I’m still clinging onto my photo. I glance at it once more and see Hayden’s beautiful face smiling back at me. Pushing myself out of the bed, I stagger into the shower wearing nothing but a sleepy-smile.
Oh, that man can make me smile through anything.
“Coffee, sweetie?” Jessie offers from behind the breakfast bar as I exit my bedroom and grace the hallway with my overly loud heeled pumps clacking on the flooring.
“Please.” I set my cream purse on the dining-table as I stride towards the white countertop. Smoothing my knee length, navy shift dress with a cream central-paneling over my hips and sweeping my hair behind my shoulders so it tumbles down my back, I slid myself on the cold surface of the stool.
Jess places my mug in front of me and steps back to resume her previous position, resting the small of her back against the opposite kitchen counter.
I blow into my beverage before taking a cautious sip. In the periphery of my vision, I detect her hands encircling her cup, and she goads me with her big green eyes. Only Jessie could make me sing like a canary with one simple look.
“What’s with the look?” I ask feeling lost between amusement and worry.
“You know.” She takes a mouthful of her hot beverage, refusing to break her annoying yet comical gaze from me.
Curiosity rears its ugly head. I shake my head and shrug my shoulders simultaneously, completely baffled as to what it is I apparently know. “You got me, Jess. I have no idea of what you are referring to, and it is far too early for guess-what-I-know. I have to be in work in…” I glance down at my gold link watch; the Mother of Pear face shows white, green and pinks at the slightest movement. “…Forty-five minutes.” Propping my elbows on the cool, smooth surface, I return to my morning caffeine fixation.
“You have been in in this relationship with Hayden for one whole month, Sammy.” She beams with sisterly pride, before pointing her index finger at me. “You didn’t think you could do it, but you have, and you are.”
Embarrassed, I concentrate on the swirling hot contents in my cup.
“You look so much better for it, sweetie. Your self-esteem is uncovering itself from that entire hedgerow it’s been isolated with for all these years.” Sauntering around the corner of the bar, she joins me at the stool. Planting a kiss on my just made-up cheek, she slides herself on the vacant seat. “I’m so proud of you, Sammy.”