RECKLESS - Part 1

by Alice Ward

  “Fuck off and mind your own business,” Sean yelled, turning to shove Jace away.

  I’d been too close. Sean’s elbow caught me in the chest and knocked me onto the ground. Both men were by my side, picking me up, before I even fully realized what had happened.

  “Dude, back the fuck off,” Sean bellowed, one arm shoving Jace away, the other roughly yanking me up from the ground by my elbow.

  Jace took a step back, shoving his hands into his pockets, his jaw working away angrily. “Take it for what it’s worth, man. But you might want to keep that temper of yours under control.”

  With that, he took a step backwards and then turned to leave, but not before giving me a sympathetic look. “Bye, Andrea,” he said, sounding almost sad.

  Was it wrong that a strange ache ripped through me as I watched him go?

  My fiancé, who was sorting out my things that had scattered on the ground, would probably think so.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Becca and I sat at the coffee shop, sipping our lattes. We were both exhausted.

  “I still can’t believe he just showed up, acting like that,” she muttered for probably the twentieth time that morning.

  My response was also the same as every other time she’d said it. “I know.”

  After the altercation out in front of the coffee shop, Sean had gone to the dorms with me. We argued about the concert, about Jace, about me returning home, about me leaving in the first place… right up until Becca came home a little after two o’clock in the morning.

  That’s when things got really heated.

  Sean had all but come out and blamed Becca for everything that had happened that night. Becca, being the awesome chick she was, told him to fuck right off and get out of our dorm or she’d call the police. He’d said a few more choice words, but left anyway.

  I hadn’t heard from him since.

  “You going to call him?” Becca asked as I picked at my pastry.

  I sighed a little and studied my plate for a second. “I don’t think so,” I finally answered. “Not yet anyway. I didn’t do anything wrong. Neither did Jace.”

  Becca patted my hand and gave me a tight smile. “Good for you. You have to stand your ground in arguments like this.”

  “I just wish I could understand what the hell’s gotten into him,” I said, my brow pinching tightly. “He’s never been this… irrational.”

  “You were in danger, he wasn’t there to protect you, and it would appear to him another man is moving in on his territory,” she said, plainly, as if she were explaining the most rudimentary facts of life to a child.

  I raised my eyebrows, deadpanning her.

  “What?” she asked, mid-chew.

  “Moving in on his territory?”

  “Oh, come on,” she said, rolling her eyes as she paused to swallow. “Men are like dogs. Territorial. They walk around, leaving their scent, and if some other dog tries to swoop in, they attack.”

  “Sean’s never been possessive like that, though.”

  “But he also hasn’t had a reason to feel threatened before now.”

  Becca posed a good point, one that had me wondering… did Sean have a reason to feel threatened?

  Sure, Jace was attractive, and he had that voice, and his panty-dropping stage presence. But I wasn’t the kind of girl who would give up everything for a quick roll back-stage. And I certainly wouldn’t give up what Sean and I had built over the last five years just to become another notch on Jace’s bedpost.

  Besides all that, Jace infuriated me. He was the very definition of everything I hated—sexist, misogynistic, conceited…

  “Sean doesn’t have a reason to feel threatened,” I finally responded.

  “Maybe not,” Becca said, cleaning her hands off with a napkin. “But you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone on campus that agreed with you.”

  She was right, of course.

  Jace was every girl’s dream and every man’s worst nightmare. You’d have to be deaf, dumb, and blind to not be at least a little attracted to him.

  ***

  Two more days of not hearing from Sean and I decided to cancel my plane ticket home.

  With no idea where we stood, or even where in the country he was, I refused to spend the money to fly home, especially when I still had a column to write and a test to study for. And I wasn’t about to let his jealousy-infused temper tantrum interfere with my future—the future I owned, regardless of what happened between us.

  Besides, I was still pretty livid with him for creating such a mess.

  He’d insulted and berated the very same person I was writing a feature on. This wasn’t just our personal life that he’d thrown stones at; this was my career, the thing I’d dreamed of doing since I could remember. And he’d crapped all over it, had endangered everything I’d worked so hard for in just a matter of minutes.

  Over what? Jealousy?

  It was bad enough I’d made a mess all my own with my mouth, slutty attire, and bad decision-making. That, at least, had been my own doing. But now I had to apologize to Jace for more than just my behavior; I had to apologize for Sean’s as well. I felt like some pet owner whose dog just crapped in the neighbor’s yard.

  It was beyond embarrassing.

  But I was nothing if not a woman determined to keep her life in order. If that meant dealing with unsavory fiancé behavior and apologizing for something I, myself, hadn’t done, then so be it.

  And that was exactly why I was in a cab, on my way to Jace’s apartment, anxiousness twisting my intestines into ridiculous knots. If the driver didn’t get on with it already, I was going to end up with what was left of my undigested lunch on the back seat of his car.

  But I regress.

  I didn’t really have a reason to be nervous. Jace probably dealt with this sort of thing all the time, what with him being a campus god and all. He was probably just going to smile, say no problem, and then move on with his glorious life. I, on the other hand, knew things had irrevocably changed.

  I wasn’t sure when.

  I wasn’t sure why.

  I wasn’t even really sure how.

  I only knew I felt different, something in me was shifting. I couldn’t put my finger on it right then, so I stuffed it down and decided to deal with the situation at hand: getting out of the cab and making my way to the front door of Jace’s apartment.

  Since I only expected to be a few minutes, I paid the cabby an extra fare and requested he stay until I had finished. The clacking of my heels on the concrete seemed to be the only noise in the upscale complex, which seemed a little strange at a little past noon. Then again, homes like these only belonged to businessmen and rock stars like Jace Richardson. Most of them were likely at work or sleeping.

  When I arrived the front door of his apartment—or the one I hoped was his—I inhaled deeply, straightened my spine and threw my shoulders back. This wasn’t the time to be the delicate flower; I was a professional, and it was high-time I started acting like it.

  Of course, all that changed with a few sharp knocks on the front door.

  Seconds ticked on, stretching out for what felt like minutes. My heart rate accelerated when I heard shuffling on the other side of the door. Then, when it opened, the pounding ceased. Or, I think it did, because my brain and body no longer belonged to me.

  I would never stand there and ogle a half-naked man, tattoos glistening under droplets of water. I wouldn’t stand there like a damn zombie, mindless and speechless as he said hello and then asked me if I was okay when I didn’t answer. And I certainly wouldn’t stumble over my words and make a complete fool of myself, like I’d never seen a man naked before. Like I’d never seen lick-able abs and perfectly sculpted biceps. Or a tan line. Or dark hair trailing… oh, dear God, help me.

  “H—h—hi,” I stammered out, having a very difficult time removing my eyes from the knot of his towel to make eye contact with him. “I—um—I needed to come by and—I just wanted to—“

 
; Everything I tried to say turned into a very inappropriate thought, and I had to start over to keep my mouth from fulfilling its sole purpose: humiliating me at the worst times possible.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, leaning over a bit, his face just close enough now I caught a whiff of his minty breath.

  I couldn’t speak, so I just nodded.

  “Well,” he scratched behind his ear and then glanced into his apartment before looking at me again. “Would you—Do you need to come in for a bit?”

  I wanted to say no. I wanted to just get the apology out and move on with my day. That’s what I’d come for, after all. But since my brain and body had been possessed, I found myself nodding instead.

  He stepped out of the way and let me in. Again, my body and brain called mutiny; my feet moved forward, carrying me through the door without my consent.

  “Would you like to sit down?” he asked, looking a little uncomfortable. Rightly so, I suppose, since he was walking around in nothing more than a towel.

  I didn’t even bother with the nod this time. I just sat down on the couch.

  He studied me for a few moments, looking a little unsure of what to do next, before finally saying. “I’m—uh—I’m going to put some clothes on.”

  Again, I simply nodded.

  Thank the heavens, he came back to the living room fully clothed. It gave my brain just a little space to actually use primary functions, such as speaking.

  “I’m really sorry to barge in on you unannounced like this,” I said as he took a seat at the dining room table.

  He motioned for me to come and join him. “It’s okay. Can I get you some coffee?” he asked as I took a seat in the chair next to him.

  “No, it’s okay,” I said with a quick shake of my head. “I just came to apologize.”

  Now it was Jace’s turn to go brain dead. “Apologize?” he asked, his brow tightly knit as his head jutted back. “What in the world do you have to apologize for, Andrea?”

  “Well, my mouth, for one,” I said, averting my eyes, studying the table beneath my arms for a second. “I shouldn’t have talked to you like that the day we met.”

  He chuckled. The sound forced my eyes back up to his face. “It’s okay. I’m used to it by now. And you already apologized for that.”

  I wasn’t sure what to make of his confession, but continued on anyway. “Then there was my outfit. I don’t normally dress like that. I just—I wanted to pay you back for—I was angry with you.”

  Something flickered across his face, but I couldn’t place it. “You didn’t even know me. How could you possibly be angry with me?”

  “I have this thing against men who treat women like objects. I—I guess I felt like that’s what you were doing that day in the coffee shop,” the words had come out barely a whisper, but I knew he’d heard. “But I was wrong. And I’m sorry.”

  When he didn’t respond, I continued on with my apology. “I’m also sorry you had to bring me home after the concert, sorry I put you out like that. But most of all, I’m sorry for the way Sean behaved the other night. He had no right to act like that, and I’m absolutely mortified he flew off the handle like that at you.”

  Jace sat in a silence for a few moments longer. All the while, my heart pounded away at my rib cage, telling me I’d made a horrible mistake in coming. I should have just left it alone. He probably wouldn’t have given it another thought, and now here I was, bringing it all up again.

  Just when I thought my brain would explode from all the worry and stress, Jace cleared his throat, sitting back in his chair a little. “Is your fiancé normally like that?” he asked, his look indecipherable.

  “Not usually,” I answered honestly.

  He gave a slow, almost imperceptible nod. “Why do you think he behaved that way toward me?”

  “To be quite honest, I don’t really know,” I said. “Before he showed up here, he demanded I quit school and come home. Then, when I refused, he showed up, probably to try and haul me back home by my hair.”

  As soon as the words left my mouth, I clamped it shut. I hadn’t meant to divulge my relationship drama. And I certainly hadn’t intended to paint Sean as the bad guy; he wasn’t really. Just angry. Scared. Worried. I couldn’t blame him, yet my words and the anger brewing in my veins told me that I did, in fact, blame him for behaving so childishly.

  “I—I should go,” I said quietly, standing and pushing my chair in, all the while, refusing to give Jace so much as another glance. But as I passed by him, he reached out and gently clasped my wrist.

  His rough fingers sent a shudder through me, but he didn’t remove his hand. Instead, he stood, his body so close to mine, I could feel the heat radiating off of him. “You deserve more, Andrea,” he whispered softly, bringing his other hand up to my face. With a feather-light touch, he ran a finger from my cheek to my chin. “You are a strong woman, and you deserve a man with confidence, a man that will trust your judgment.”

  A lump caught in my throat, refused to let me speak or swallow. Not that I could have done either. My brain had gone on vacation again, leaving only the heat of his breath, the scent of his cologne, and the spinning room… at least it felt like the room was spinning.

  “But I have a feeling you already know that,” he continued, placing his finger beneath my chin and lifting upward, bringing my eyes to his. “Which would explain your anger and resistance. Such a stubborn firecracker.”

  Every inch of me felt like it’d been lit on fire and all the moisture from my mouth had found its way to the area between my legs as, for a few heady seconds, I thought he might bring his lips to mine.

  Maybe it was the way his chocolate eyes found their way into my soul. Maybe it was the way his touch demanded my complete attention. Or maybe it was just all the pent up feelings I’d refused to acknowledge—the feelings that told me Jace Richardson was, indeed, the god everyone thought him to be. Either way, I’d lost all sense of direction as well as any shred of loyalty I felt to Sean. All that existed was this moment, a moment that would stay with me forever.

  And then, just as quickly as it had come, the moment ended.

  Jace’s eyes clamped shut as he inhaled deeply through his nose. “You need to go,” he whispered, softly. “Before I do something we’ll both regret.” He removed his hands and stepped back away from me.

  I think a pained whimper may have escaped my throat, but I couldn’t be sure. All I knew was that I felt both relieved and rejected, all at once. And my skin still tingled from his touch. He was right; I needed to leave.

  Immediately.

  I’m not sure how I left, or if I even said good-bye. But as I drove away in the cab, his words and his touch settled in, carved out a place of residence in my soul. It was then that I finally realized what had changed: I was attracted to Jace Richardson, and not just in an innocent groupie kind of way. He had the means with which to take everything I’d worked so hard for—the relationship Sean and I had tended and cultivated over the years, my career, maybe even my entire plan for the future—and burn it all to the ground.

  And that meant I needed to stay far, far away.

  CHAPTER NINE

  I practically fell through the door to my dorm room. I needed to think. To breathe. To… aw, hell, I didn’t know. I was in fight of flight mode, only the real danger here was myself. And where do you run when you can’t even trust yourself?

  No, scratch that.

  I couldn’t trust myself around Jace Richardson.

  I’d just avoid him. I could do that. I had my column to work on, exams to study for, a full social life—well, as full as it got for me—and internships to apply for. All I had to do was steer clear from him for the next three months, and then I’d be on my way home, back in the arms of the man I loved.

  Things would blow over between us. My life would go back to normal. And never again would I have to think about sexy rocker gods, or the way their hands could play more than just instruments, or how their voices could create u
nimaginable sensations in every part of your body.

  Oh, dear God, I was in some serious trouble.

  Right then, my phone rang. I was almost afraid to see who it might be, but with my heart in my throat, I pulled the ringing device out of my purse anyway. I was relieved to find Becca’s name clearly displayed on the caller ID.

  “Hey,” I answered, hoping that my voice didn’t sound as high-pitched to her as it did to me.

  “Uh, hey,” she said on the other end of the line, but I could barely hear her above all the racket in the background. “I’m picking up a shift at the pub tonight. I just got here. But I’ll be home in time for a chick flick, if you’re up for it.”

  “Oh, yeah. Sure.”

  “Great, see you later then?”

  “Yep.” I hung up the phone and then tossed it onto my bed.

  I wasn’t excited about having the dorm all to myself that night, not when I had so much on my mind. But since I wasn’t about to chance a run-in with Jace at the coffee shop, I didn’t have much of a choice but to stay put for the evening. Maybe I could knock out some of my studying early.

  Grabbing my books, I spread out on my bed. For a good thirty minutes, I tried to break through the haze in my brain, but it just wasn’t working. Finally, I gave up and decided to take a warm bath. Maybe that would break up the bundle of nerves twisting and turning in my gut.

  No sooner than I’d gotten undressed and filled the tub, my cell phone rang. Again, I was filled with dread when I went to pick it up to see who was calling. My heart fell into the pit of my stomach when I caught sight of Sean’s name. I stared at it, letting it ring until it went over to voice mail. But no sooner than the ringing stopped, it started up again.

  I should have known he wouldn’t let it go that easily.

  Still staring at my phone, conflicted about whether or not to answer, I sat down on the closed lid of the toilet and rested my elbows on my knees, the phone just inches from my face. I could continue to ignore his calls, let him squirm a little… but something deep inside me said it wasn’t my anger but my feelings for Jace that had me hesitant to answer.