by P. F. Kozak
“I will agree to allow you a few minutes alone while I wait in the dining room. Then, I will join you in the kitchen. I do not want an eruption of emotion over this, from either of you.”
“What on earth do you think will happen?”
“I will not allow May to upset you, Pamela. If she wants to continue her employ in my house, she will accept our relationship and not judge it. Nor will I allow her to use your history together to sway your opinions.”
“Peter…”
“Pams, enough about this for now. Come, I expect Lucy has our morning meal waiting.” Peter picked up his dressing gown. “Put this on. It is warmer than the peignoir.” He held it open as Pamela slipped her arms though the sleeves.
Peter picked up Pamela’s robe. Grateful to find the hallway empty, he escorted her back to his room. Pamela started when she walked through the door. Only then did he see Lucy changing the bed.
Standing behind Pamela, he simply said, “Lucy, that will be all. You can finish the bed later.”
Lucy jumped and whirled around. “Sir?” When she saw him in his towel and Pamela wearing his dressing gown, her face turned scarlet. “Oh, my goodness!”
Again, he said, “Lucy, that will be all.”
“Yes, sir, quite so, sir.” Obviously flustered, Lucy grabbed the soiled linens from the bedroom floor and practically ran to the door. Pamela followed her.
“Pamela!” Peter tried to stop her.
“Hush, Peter.” Pamela shook herself free of his hand. “Lucy, wait.”
Lucy stopped just outside the door. “Yes, miss?”
“Lucy, it is all right. You were just doing your job.” Pamela put her hand on Lucy’s arm. “You’re shaking. Lucy, truly, it is all right.”
“Miss, I am so sorry. I saw the soiled linens when I brought in the tray. I meant to finish changing them before you and the mister came back. I never intended to intrude on your privacy.”
“And you didn’t. We will have our meal and then come downstairs. You may finish the bed then.” Glancing back at Peter with a warning look to mind himself, Pamela gently asked, “Does May know I am in Peter’s room?”
“Yes, miss.”
“Do you know how she feels about that?”
“I really couldn’t say, miss.”
“Lucy, I want to know if she is angry at me. Is she?”
“Yes, miss, I believe she might be.”
“Thank you, Lucy. You may go now. Oh, yes, you best take a mop into the toilet. I accidentally splashed some water on the floor.” Lucy nodded her understanding, curtsied and hurried down the hall.
When Pamela closed the door and turned around, Peter stood there with his arms crossed over his chest, looking quite perturbed. “Pamela, what do you think you are doing?”
“What on earth are you talking about, Peter?”
“Lucy is our maid, a servant in our employ. You owe her no explanation.”
“Lucy is also my friend and companion, and I will not have her be made apologetic for doing her job properly.”
“You know she is on her way to the kitchen right now to give May a full report on what she has just seen. That will only add fuel to this already explosive situation.”
“I told you, I will talk to May.”
“And I told you, I will not permit you to be upset by May’s view of what we are doing.”
“Peter, stop trying to protect me. You told me our relationship has changed. It certainly has. You are no longer my guardian. You are my lover and will eventually be my husband.”
“It would be easier for May to accept if we could tell her we will be married within the next month.”
“Easier for May or easier for you?”
“Judas Priest, Pamela, you know I do not want to wait to be married. This preposterous idea you have about our marriage waiting until a law is changed is beyond reason!”
In an eerie reflection of her father, Peter saw Pamela’s jaw set in the same manner Sir George’s would when he intended to take the floor and win. “When we marry and you take control of all my holdings, how will I be any different to you than Lucy? Will I also be a servant in your employ?”
“Pamela, never as long as I have a breath in my body would I think of you in those terms!”
“Then stop thinking of my desire to be independent as preposterous. You do not love me because I sublimate to you. You love me because I do not.”
Peter could not deny that what Pamela said was true. Her spirited disobedience had always intrigued him and, now, genuinely captivated him. “Pams, your capacity to be independent has never been in question. I cannot fathom your ever being subservient to anyone, especially to me.”
“Then why do you think it foolish that I want to retain my financial independence and be self-reliant?”
“I do not want your money or your land, Pamela. I want you.”
“The law says as a married woman, ipso facto, I lose all my rights to you as my husband. Therein, Peter, I lose my self-reliance and my self-respect. I cannot do that, not even for you.”
“Even if I promise that privately, you will be the decision-maker about your inheritance and I will abide by your wishes?”
“Peter, you said I did not have to choose, that if I accepted your proposal, I could stay here on my terms. We made a pact last night. If you are not willing to honour that pact, how do I know you would honour your promise?”
“Sir George taught you well.”
“Had I been born male, I would be a barrister, just as you are.”
“Thank the Lord you were not born male. That would be a pickle, now wouldn’t it?”
“Perhaps my body would not welcome yours as it now does, but my mind would be the same. The fact that I am a woman does not make me less than you.”
Peter ran his fingers through Pamela’s damp hair. “Pams, there are few individuals, male or female, that have the capacity to meet me head-on as an equal. I daresay, you are certainly among the very few.”
“Does Nellie?”
“Your fixation about Nellie is tiresome, Pamela. I do wish you would let it go.” Peter turned away, took off the towel and went to the cupboard to retrieve his clothes.
“What about your fixation with Nellie?” Pamela snapped back.
“My what?” Peter turned to face her. “You think I have a fixation with Nellie?”
“Peter, why the fecking devil would you sustain a relationship with her for fifteen years if you did not have a fixation?” Pamela’s cheeks flushed with anger. “I’m quite sorry if you find my interest in Nellie irksome. Pardon me if I am curious about a woman who has been a courtesan to both my father and my fiancé.”
“Pamela, you have no reason to be jealous of a whore!”
Pamela clenched and unclenched her fists, glaring at him. “Your disrespect for her is disgusting.”
Forgetting his clothes for the moment, Peter came closer to Pamela. “Why are you defending a harlot? Neither your father nor myself were her only lovers! She has had innumerable men throughout her life, and hasn’t felt anything for any of them.”
“I never expected to hear ignorance personified from you, Peter. You are speaking about the woman my father loved and who loved him in return. When she spoke of you, I heard near reverence in her voice.” Pamela paused and took a few steps closer to Peter. “She has been your confidante for fifteen years. I only hope to gain the same intimacy with you as she has enjoyed for so long.”
They now stood an arm’s length apart. Pamela still wore his dressing gown. He wore nothing. The intensity of their exchange had stirred Peter. He could not hide the effect.
“Pamela, Nellie has never once affected me as you do. I could not reveal my desire to you. I had to find release with someone.” Peter spread his arms wide, fully displaying his erection for Pamela. “See what you have been doing to me for many years! There is no other woman that can do this to me. Only you.”
Their eyes met for a moment. Pamela slowly lowered her gaze to see h
is erect cock. “How many years, Peter? How long has this been happening?
“I am ashamed to tell you.”
“Tell me, I need to know.”
“Since we sat side by side in your father’s house playing piano. The first time, I made an excuse about feeling ill and left shortly after.”
“You left to see Nellie, didn’t you?”
“Yes. I had no one else.”
“Did you tell her what happened?”
“Not that night. But I did speak of you on other occasions.”
“Did you tell anyone else?”
“Certainly not! This is not something I am proud of, Pamela. I simply could not control it. Obviously, I still can’t.”
“Peter, there is no shame in our attraction. I, too, have wanted you for a very long time. It is why I waited.”
“You’ve had other opportunities?”
“Yes. But I couldn’t give myself to anyone but you. I’ve known that for many years.”
“I’m grateful you waited.”
Pamela shook her head. “Papa never knew, did he?”
“No, darling Pams, he never knew. Do you think he would have entrusted your guardianship to me had he known?”
“I suppose I would have been sent to a convent had he suspected.”
“Probably so.” Peter closed the gap between them and untied the sash on the dressing gown. Opening the gown, he pulled Pamela to him. “I cannot imagine you in a convent. I do not believe celibacy would agree with you.”
“Nor do I.”
Peter leaned forward and kissed her, gently at first, and then with increasing need. Pamela wrapped her arms around him, digging her fingernails into the flesh of his back.
He kissed her throat and her neck with long-held hunger. Saying it as much to himself as to her, he whispered into Pamela’s ear, “God help me, Pamela, no woman has ever been inside me the way you are.”
“Show me, Peter. All those times you went to Nellie instead of to me, sweet Jesus, come to me now. Please.”
“Pams, are you able to take me inside again? I do not want to cause you any pain.”
Pamela pressed her vulva against his leg. Her warm moisture coated his skin. “My body is ready for you, Peter. Please, love me.”
“Take off the gown and lie on the bed.” Peter opened the drawer in his night table and found a small box containing another sheath. He encased his cock in the sack. “Open your legs wide for me, Pams. You know I like to see.”
Pamela spread her legs as he asked. As Peter stood over her, taking in her womanhood, Pamela slowly raised her knees and opened her legs wider. The lewdness of the pose made his cock itch with anticipation.
He lowered himself onto her, belly to belly. “This is rather like getting a bit of mutton from the back alley.”
Pamela wiggled underneath him, tickling his prick with her cunt lips. “Why, guvner, I hear tell you be wanting a bit of cunny from a flagger now and again.”
“It seems I don’t have to go far to find a piece of trade now, do I?” Even as Pamela continued to squirm under him, he bore down on her. His prick entered her swollen flesh with a small pop, and then effortlessly slid in the full length. As his cock penetrated her, Pamela gasped and clutched his back.
Before fucking her in earnest, he had to be sure she had no pain. “Pams, am I hurting you?”
“No. This is glorious!”
“All right then, my sweet strumpet, I will give you a bit of hard for a bit of soft.”
“And I’ll give you a bit of mutton for a bit of beef!”
Peter laughed, something he had never done in this circumstance. “Pamela, you are truly a delight! It is a rare gift to manage witticisms while fucking.”
Before she could come back at him with a sharp retort, he lifted his pelvis and drove himself back into her. Again she gasped and clutched at his back. With her knees in the air, the impact of his pelvis hitting hers caused her hips to tip. The motion escalated his desire.
With each thrust, her pelvis rocked, creating a wave of sensation like nothing he had ever experienced. She allowed him to control the motion, her body pivoting each time he embedded his cock inside her cunt. The night before, he had to hold back, for fear of hurting her. This morning, he finally allowed himself the freedom to fuck her as he had always dreamed of fucking her.
The momentum increased as his need burned in his balls. She stayed with him, keeping pace as he slammed into her. The fire between his legs erupted and a lightning bolt exploded from his cock. He ground his teeth and snarled as he once again claimed Pamela as his own.
Chapter Fifteen
Once they had eaten and dressed, Peter and Pamela went downstairs for their meeting with May. Pamela knew Peter would not allow her to be alone in the kitchen for long, so she decided not to waste any time getting to the point.
Leaving Peter in the dining room, she pushed open the kitchen door. May sat at the table, peeling potatoes.
“Good morning, May.”
“Hello, Pamela.”
May did not look at her. Pamela sat down in a chair directly across from her. “I want to talk to you about what has happened.”
“We have little to say to one another, dearie.”
“I think we do.”
May continued peeling potatoes and did not look up. “Then say your piece.”
Pamela’s stomach rolled as she saw the rigidness in May’s face. She remembered that expression from her childhood, when May took exception to hearing Pamela cuss at a playmate. Pamela forced that memory back as she said, “Peter has asked me to marry him.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes, May, that is so.”
“When is the wedding?”
“We haven’t yet set a date. There are legal issues about my inheritance that must be handled before the wedding.”
“Um-hmm.”
“I know Lucy spoke to you.”
“She did.”
“May, I know you are angry with me.”
“Pamela, I am in the employ of Master Rennard. I have no say in his private affairs.”
“Perhaps not, but I care about what you think of me.”
“Then perhaps you should have considered that before you did what you did.”
“What I did, May, I did because it is in my heart. I love Peter and he loves me. There is nothing shameful about that.”
May threw a peeled potato in the pot, splashing water onto the table and onto Pamela’s dress. Raising her voice more than Pamela would have liked, May chastised her. “I suppose sharing a marriage bed before the marriage is something to celebrate? What do you think Sir George would have to say about that?”
Pamela heard Peter’s voice behind her. “If Sir George were alive, he would give Pamela away at our wedding.”
May glared over Pamela’s head at Peter. “Master Rennard, I will be seeking other employ. There is no need to sack me.”
Pamela felt Peter’s hand on her shoulder. “May, I have no intention of sacking you.”
May pushed back her chair and stood. Looking as intimidating as Pamela had ever seen her look, she spoke her mind directly to Peter. “Miss Constance once told me that if ever I wanted to work for her family, to let her know. I will be sending a letter to her telling her I am ready to move on, and ask if she will employ me.”
Pamela started to protest. Peter interrupted her. “Pamela, allow me to handle this.”
Pamela, being close to tears, simply said, “Peter, May is like my mum. Don’t let her leave.”
Everything stopped. A pot hissing on the stove made the only sound. Pamela felt tears slide down her face, but made no attempt to wipe them away. When Peter spoke, his voice held a quiet distance. “May, do you remember the Christmas before Sir George died?”
“Of course I do. I ain’t feebleminded yet!”
“We had a conversation on Christmas Eve. Do you remember?” May gave Peter a queer look, but did not say anything. “I see you do remember.”
“I do.”
“Sir George told you the day before that you would be in my employ once he had passed. He also told you I would be Pamela’s guardian.”
Pamela looked from one to the other. She knew something had passed between them on that night that she knew nothing about. Glancing at May, she realised May had tears on her cheeks. She wanted to ask what in heaven’s name they were on about, but thought better of it. Peter seemed to understand what needed to be done.
Peter continued. “We were all trying to come to terms with Sir George’s illness, and that he would be leaving us soon. I came into the kitchen to speak to you privately about Pamela.”
“You did.” May brushed the tears from her face. Taking the tea towel from the waistband of her apron, she wiped her nose.
“Do you remember what you said to me?”
“I told you this is nonsense, that you would be her guardian. I saw you were in love with her. I told you to tell Sir George you would marry her and be done with it.”
“May, that was six years ago. Pamela was only sixteen. You saw my feeling for her and wanted us to marry. Had we married, I would have taken her into my bed straightaway. But I waited.”
“You didn’t just wait. You sent her away.”
“I had to send her away. I did not have the strength to have her under my roof and not in my bed. Now, that Pamela is grown and has had a proper education, I want her to be my wife, if she will have me.”
“You have waited this long, why the bloomin’ ’ell couldn’t you have waited for a proper wedding night?”
“Because I am still not strong enough to have her under my roof and not in my bed. Our wedding must wait, for reasons that are private between Pamela and myself. Our love for one another could not wait any longer.”
May studied Pamela for a moment and then sat down. Reaching across the table, she took Pamela’s hand. “Missy, I know you’ve had eyes for this one since the first time he walked in the door. I often thought it a shame that God saw fit to make you so much younger. It seems God is wiser than the rest of us, ’cause He knew that what He joins together cannot be taken apart.”
Pamela choked back a sob. She managed to say, “May, I love him with all my heart. I will be his wife legally. I already am in spirit.”