Looking across the kitchen and away from Lucas, she said in a flat voice, “I—was married for five years.”
Her admission shouldn’t have surprised him. She was a beautiful, desirable woman. Men had probably pursued her since she’d been old enough to wear lipstick and bat her eyelashes. Still, a part of him was knocked sideways to know she’d once loved a man that much. And why had it ended after five years? She didn’t seem like the sort of woman who, once she was married, would take the partnership lightly.
“What happened?”
Jenny winced inwardly at the question, but she did her best to keep her features unmoving, her voice even. “After we’d already married, Marcus and I learned we wanted different things from life. My career as a policewoman certainly didn’t help our relationship, either.”
“You weren’t working as a cop when you first got married?” Lucas asked.
Jenny shook her head. “I was twenty-three and had just started training in the academy when I met Marcus. At that time he insisted he could deal with my being a police officer. He actually urged me to go after the career I wanted. A few months later, after we were married, all that changed. He couldn’t handle the idea of his wife working so closely with other men.”
Lucas snorted. “Looks to me like he would have been more concerned about you being shot or stabbed rather than worried that you might have an affair.”
Jenny grimaced as unwanted memories filled her head. In the first part of their marriage, Marcus’s unwarranted jealousy had been nothing more than verbal accusations and fits of sulking. But as the years passed things grew worse. Instead of flinging angry words at her, he began to throw and break things, then finally toward the end he tried to break her with threats backed up by the use of his fist.
Dear God, one man in her life had been almost more than she could mentally bear, she thought with an inward shudder. She certainly hadn’t wanted two! And she’d never given Marcus reason to think she had. So why would she ever want a man in her life again?
Why, indeed, she asked herself as she looked at Lucas’s black hair and warm brown eyes, the hard sensual curve of his lips and the broad width of his shoulders beneath his leather jacket.
She might want, she silently admitted to herself. But one thing was for certain, she’d never touch.
“Marcus had a big ego,” she told Lucas after a moment, then turning a curious glance on him, she asked, “Is that what would have worried you about my job? The danger involved?”
Lucas nodded grimly. “I must tell you, Jenny, I lost a very good friend who was a policeman in Fort Worth where I grew up. Actually, he was more than a friend. He was like my brother. And losing him to a bullet is not something I’ll likely ever forget.”
The bitter loss on his face stirred something deep inside Jenny. Leaning closer, she placed her hand over his. “I’m sorry about your friend, Lucas. But dying is a risk every policeman takes when he’s out on the streets. Believe me, it’s something I live with every day. And it’s one of the main reasons I avoid men. They can’t deal with any part of a policewoman. I doubt you could, either.”
Lucas was beginning to ask himself that very question. When he’d first met Jenny he had tried to think of her as simply a woman. Not an enforcer of the law. She’d been so beautiful and strong-minded that her mere presence had been overwhelming. So much so that he’d almost forgotten she was a cop. All he could think about was how much he wanted her in his life.
Well, he still wanted her, but now he was beginning to know her. Really know her. And he couldn’t imagine what it would be like to watch her strap on a gun every day and walk out the front door. He’d never know if she’d be coming safely back to him. His friend Neil had been smart, a veteran cop, and still he’d been killed in the line of duty. How could he bear it if he fell in love with Jenny, then lost her so senselessly?
“Until I was faced with the problem, I don’t really know how I would deal with having a woman cop for a wife.” His eyelids lowered as he leaned toward her. “But I can tell you one thing.”
“What?” she asked, her voice husky.
Reaching out, he cupped his hand against the side of her face. Jenny’s breath caught in her throat, and she had to fight the urge to rub her cheek against his palm, to lean forward and place her lips on his.
“If you were my wife, I’d rather you died in bed of old age with me beside you than see you killed out on the streets.”
His hand dropped from her face. Jenny looked away and swallowed at the sudden thickness in her throat. He was being honest with her. And Jenny had to respect him for that, at least. So why did she suddenly feel so overwhelmed with sadness?
Placing her coffee on the butcher block, she tossed her red hair over her shoulder, then moved her eyes to his face. “Thank you, Lucas,” she said with soft finality.
“For what?”
She slid from the stool and jammed her hands in her coat pockets. “For the evening, the coffee and being honest with me. Now we know how it is with you and me.”
His brows arched with surprise and he opened his mouth to speak. Jenny immediately cut him off.
“Not that there is a you and me,” she added quickly. “Because there isn’t. I’m just glad you understand we can never be more than friends.”
“I do?”
Ignoring the innocent look of puzzlement on his face, Jenny walked to the electric heater and held her palms toward the glowing coils.
“Of course you do.”
Like hell, Lucas thought. He already felt like more than a friend to Jenny. And he was beginning to get the impression that she was more than just a little attracted to him.
“Look, Jenny, not every man is like your ex-husband. Some of us do have the capacity to understand.”
He left his seat and walked to her. Jenny tilted her head to look him in the face. The moment her eyes connected with his, her knees wavered.
“You just said you couldn’t deal with having a policewoman for a wife.”
“I was speaking theoretically.”
“You were speaking your mind.”
He let out an impatient breath. “If you remember correctly, I only asked you out to supper tonight. I didn’t ask you to marry me.”
Anger and embarrassment washed through Jenny and stained her face red. “I’m not delusional, Lucas.”
He arched a brow at her. “No. You’re not delusional. You’re worried.”
“I am?”
He was smiling at her, a smile that showed his teeth and dimpled his cheek. Jenny didn’t know whether she wanted to smack him with a backhand or a kiss.
“Yeah,” he answered. “I think you’re worried because you like me. And you don’t want to like any man.”
He was so on the mark that Jenny was momentarily taken aback. Could he read her so clearly? Did he already know why she shunned any sort of intimacy with a man?
“I do like you, Lucas. At least, I did until now.”
Laughing softly, he looped his arm through Jenny’s and led her out of the warm kitchen. “Jenny, do you always take everything so literally?”
“No. And I don’t normally go out with men. But you knew that,” she said a little crossly.
Without warning, Lucas took her by the shoulders and swung her around to face him. Jenny gasped and pressed her hands defensively against his chest.
“I’m glad you came out with me tonight, Jenny,” he said quietly, his face mere inches from hers.
His breath was a warm caress on her face, and beneath her palms, she could feel the strong rise and fall of his chest. For one reckless moment, Jenny longed to slide her hands up and link them at the back of his neck. She wanted to rise on tiptoe and taste his mouth, hold him close and trust him not to ever hurt her.
Lucas went on. “What I said back in the kitchen about marrying a policewoman? Well, I was speaking my mind for the present. But—”
Jenny shook her head while thinking how wrong Lucas had been a few minutes ago. She
wasn’t worried about liking this man. She was desperately afraid of loving him! “I don’t want to hear this, Lucas. It doesn’t concern me.”
Lucas groaned inwardly. Who was she trying to kid? Him or herself?
Tightening his grip on her shoulders, he said, “I admit that right now I think I’d have trouble dealing with the fear and the worry of my wife being a cop. But if I needed a certain woman in my life, if I loved her enough, I think I could learn to live with her job.”
Why was he telling her this? she wondered. Why was he trying to paint her a picture that could never be? “Perhaps you’ll be luckier than I was, Lucas, and you’ll fall in love with a woman who has a safe, nine-to-five job behind a desk.”
Maybe Lucas could find that nice, safe partner someday, but he didn’t think so. He was afraid this woman standing here in front of him had already latched onto his heart. Now he had to figure out what to do about it.
“You know, it’s possible that your luck could change, too,” he murmured.
With a soft, self-deprecating laugh, Jenny pulled away from his grasp. “I’ve had my chance, and I can tell you I’d rather be a cop. It’s a heck of a lot safer than being a wife.”
Lucas wanted to ask her what she meant by that, but it was getting late and he figured she’d already told him all she wanted him to know for now.
With a wan little smile, he reached up and adjusted her muffler more closely against her throat. “Come on,” he told her, “I’ll show you the last of this ponderosa and then I’ll take you home.”
Moments later the two of them walked fifty yards or more away from the house to a long barn that had once sheltered animals and farming equipment.
Inside, Lucas pulled the strings on a few bare light bulbs hanging from the rafters. Standing in the middle of the dirt floor, Jenny looked curiously around her, Some carpentry work had also been started on this structure, but for the most part it was still just an old barn. She couldn’t imagine what was so special about it.
“Are you going to start raising animals? Racehorses to run at Remington Park?” she asked him.
Laughing, Lucas walked to where Jenny remained standing by a tumbledown hay manger. “Well, I do have enough pastureland out here to run a few head of thoroughbreds. But for right now this is where my other kids are going to stay for the summer.”
Her brows drew together in a curious frown. “Your other kids? Have I missed something here? Do you have children from a past relationship?”
Still smiling, Lucas took her by the arm and led her toward the east end of the barn. “I may have sown a few wild oats when I was younger, Jenny,” Lucas told her. “But not that wild. No, I’m talking about needy children without proper homes or parents to look after them. Once I take up residence in the farmhouse, I plan to board them here during the summer.”
“Board them? What do you mean?” Jenny asked.
“I mean give them each a couple of weeks here at my summer camp.”
A summer camp for children, she thought. Would he never stop surprising her? “I know there’s lots of children who live in the city and never get to see the country, much less spend several days in it.”
He nodded. “That’s why I think this place would be such a big hit with the kids. I plan to have them fishing the ponds, riding horses, feeding the chickens and gathering eggs. All the things a country kid does.”
“Wouldn’t you have to have some sort of license to do that sort of thing?”
“You’re right and I’ll also need to hire trained supervisors to manage and care for the children. But I’ve already checked into all that and the state’s social services are very receptive to the idea.”
“I realize you’re not a pauper, Lucas, but it will take an enormous amount of money to do what you’re planning.”
He nodded once again. “Yes, it will. But several companies I do business with have already pledged huge contributions throughout the coming years, so it’s not like I’ll be funding the whole thing out of my pocket.”
The dirt they were walking on suddenly ended and they took a step onto a clean concrete slab. “So how many children do you plan to have here?” she asked.
“I think I can easily house ten, maybe fifteen in this building.” He motioned toward the shadowy space in front of them. “In this area where the concrete flooring has already been run, I plan to have a kitchen, dining room and a regular family-type living room with a television, couches and fireplace. A lot of these kids don’t know what it’s like to live in a real home. And that’s what I’d like to try to give them. Even if only for a few weeks at a time.”
The man certainly had big dreams and an even bigger heart. Even for a man with money, it would be a big undertaking to care for children who weren’t his own.
No matter what Jenny’s fears told her to do, she couldn’t look at Lucas and her ex-husband in the same light. Marcus had threatened to kill her if she ever got pregnant. Lucas was going out of his way to help a child, any child who needed him. The whole idea went straight to her heart.
“Why are you doing this, Lucas?” She glanced at him, her eyes softly searching his face. “I’m sure you could give your money to a children’s charity and—”
“I could. But giving money just isn’t enough for me, Jenny. I want to be around to see their faces. I want to know for myself whether they’re happy or if they simply need someone to talk to. Just signing a check won’t do that.”
In other words, he wanted to be a surrogate father. Amazed by the whole idea, Jenny turned her gaze to the dusty rafters, then over the partially rotted timbers supporting the roof. The place was a far cry from being a summer camp for children. Even so, Jenny could easily imagine the sound of their squeals and laughter filling the room.
“Lilah mentioned something about you going to a shelter this morning. Is this what she was talking about?”
Lucas shook his head. “No. She meant a place in the city. For the past several months a crew of men have been renovating an old warehouse of mine. We expect it to be complete in a few weeks. I’m calling it the Ray Lowrimore House, after my father.”
Jenny was overwhelmed. After the Halloween dance, she knew that Lucas gave to children’s funds. But she would have never guessed his generosity or commitment to them went this far.
She shook her head, in awed disbelief. “You’re a businessman, Lucas. I’m sure running L.L. Freight is timeconsuming. Why would you want the added responsibility of caring for children who aren’t even related to you?”
A brief smile touched his lips. “Believe me, I’ve been asked that before, Jenny. And I know a lot of people think I’m crazy for taking on such a task. But I’ve been blessed in my life. Even though I lost my mother and grew up not having much, I had a loving father to see that I was fed, sheltered, loved and guided down the right path.”
“And you want to do for other children what your father did for you?”
Lucas nodded, then his smile turned a little sheepish. “I should confess, Jenny. I didn’t always have such noble ideas. When I was much younger, I was just as selfcentered as the next guy. I wasn’t until I was in the marines and on duty in Guatemala that I fully appreciated what my father had done for me. There were so many hungry, orphaned children there, with no one, not even the government to care for them. I vowed to myself then that if I was ever in a position to help a child, I would.”
“You’ve really surprised me, Lucas.”
He cast her a wry grin. “I do have more than making money and womanizing on my mind. That is what you thought of me, isn’t it? That day you wrote me the speeding ticket?”
Her face warm with color, she said, “Yes. I thought you were rich and arrogant and—” She stopped before the words “too damn sexy” could pass her lips.
His eyebrows peaked with curiosity. “And what are you thinking now, Jenny Prescott?”
Deciding to avoid his pointed question, Jenny smiled at him. “That you’re obviously very proud of your father.”<
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“If there’s one person in this world I truly love, it’s my father. Ray raised me without any help. Something I think is even harder for a man to do.” A cocky grin suddenly twisting his lips, Lucas reached for her hand. “Now, what about the money-making, womanizing, speedster part of me?”
“The only thing I knew about you then was what I read on your driver’s license,” she said, wishing she didn’t like the warmth of his fingers wrapped around hers, or the shaky sweetness that rushed through her every time he drew near.
“So what are you thinking now?” he persisted.
Jenny never knew her heart could be so out of control and she could still remain standing. “I’m thinking—that you’ve kept me out far later than you promised. And I’m going to be very cranky with Orville tomorrow.”
“Poor Orville.” His eyes softly worshiped her face.
“Poor me,” she murmured.
Not making an effort to move away from her, he continued to drink in the sight of her full lips, the deep red glow of her hair and the desperate, almost hungry look in her eyes. He wanted to make love to her. Every fiber in his body was urging him to reach out and pull her into his arms.
But he couldn’t make that move. She was a policewoman, not wife material. And she was far too precious to be just another affair. So what did that leave him with, other than a stomach full of frustrating knots?
“Well, the night has been worth it, hasn’t it?” he asked.
“I’ll have to see tomorrow, won’t I?”
The coyness in her voice very nearly crumbled his willpower. For one reckless moment he considered pulling her into his arms and worrying about the right or wrong of it later. But the moment passed, and before he could change his mind, Lucas tugged on her elbow.
“Come on, Jenny,” he said a little gruffly. “I think it’s time we both got home.”
“Jenny, the hamburger would do a lot more good in your stomach than on the plate.”
Wanted: Wife Page 9