On soft feet, I leave the bedroom, grasping the syringe thrust deep in my pocket. My heart slams in anticipation. With my mates’ bond rooted deep inside my heart, I don't want to alert them to my plan.
I proceed to the sitting room where I rest on my couch, looking out on the winter sea. My inner dragon is content after the claiming. Soon I will also be content.
I pull a syringe from my pocket and gaze down at it. This vaccine is the culmination of my life's work. I hold what could be the salvation of our entire species in my hands. All that is left to do is a real-world experiment. Now that the thrall is done, I can commence my mission.
If this vaccine works, my first clutch of hatchlings will have as many females as males. I know my plan is the right thing to do. I press my eyes closed and grit my teeth, willing for it to succeed.
I imagine a clutch of hatchlings full of little female dragons that look like their fathers. A little girl Donte, Uri, Flume, Reese, and Mika. My mates will be so happy. We need our daughters. Balance must be restored. I know they will agree with me, eventually.
With that thought in the forefront of my mind, I uncap the syringe and point it at the vein in the crook of my elbow. Taking a deep breath and, letting it out, I push the needle into my vein. With no more hesitation, I press the syringe and inject the vaccine into my bloodstream.
Withdrawing the needle, I press my fingertips to the wound, placing the empty syringe on the table. The effects of the vaccine wash over me immediately. My head goes woozy and light. I feel as if I might faint.
Uri enters the room as if alerted through our bond and sees my state. He regards me darkly. I stand and begin to walk towards him, opening my mouth to reassure him. But before the words can pass my lips, I trip on the hem of my gown and fall headlong onto the floor.
Mika was right about me.
I curse my passions as I fall, knowing this is bad. My heart breaks for my mates. I see them gather above me through the haze over my eyes. Uri shouts about the syringe on the table. Donte picks me up and gathers me into his arms. I whisper, “I'm sorry,” as he cradles me like a child.
Then it all goes dark.
Chapter 36
My eyes flutter open. I’m in the medical ward of the Academy. Lights blip on the holographic computer monitor beside me. My entire body throbs with pain, and I can barely move. When I try to sit up, my mates jump to their feet and come to my bedside. They look down at me with concern in their faces. Donte presses my shoulder, gently pushing me back down into the bed.
“Don’t try to sit up yet,” he says.
“Did it work?” I ask. “There should be antibodies in my blood.”
“Joon, you almost died,” Mika interjects.
“I'm fine. Look at me,” I say, sitting up.
“If you must sit, let me help you,” Donte says, flicking the bed’s control panel. When the bed comes to the upright position, he takes my hand and covers it with his big gray palm.
Reese stands at the foot of my bed, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. “What would we have done without you?” he implores.
“You would be fine. The thrall is over.”
“You think that’s what matters to us?” Mika asks.
“Well, no... But I had to move forward with my mission. Don't you understand?”
“Your heart stopped,” Mika says.
“Okay. Fine. The vaccine still need some tinkering. But could I please, for the love of the Bones of the Gods, see my blood work?”
“I don't think know we love you, Joon,” Uri says, his back to me, looking out the window. He turns and his coal black eyes blaze in my direction.
“I understand that you love me. I love you too. That's beside the point.”
Taylon enters the room with a stack of papers, his mouth forming a hard line. He sets the bloodwork readouts on my lap and tries to smile.
“It worked,” he says softly. “The antibodies are there.”
“Did you put her up to this insanity?” Uri demands.
“I had no idea. I never would have supported it. We needed more testing. More time. Why would you test it on yourself, Joon?” Taylon says, stepping back and waving his hands at Uri’s anger.
My heart fills with excitement. I’ve cured the plague that has crippled my people for five hundred cycles! I look up at the six men closest to me in my life and realize they're all glaring at me.
I swear under my breath in Arcadian dialect and bite my lip. I really did screw up, didn't I? I know that they're right. I was impulsive. Stupid, even. But I had to do it. Can't they understand that?
I learned a long time ago that you can’t let anything hold you back from the mission. That was one of the biggest things my father taught me and my brothers. It’s the same lesson that kept Sysko fighting the Archon all this time. I refuse to stop living by my own moral code.
But then again. I've hurt everyone I love. That's not great.
“Guys, I cured the plague, you understand that, right?” I start, hoping that I can reason with them.
“We need you more than we need a cure,” Reese tells me.
“Now you're just not being fair. That's completely irrational.”
“You are our fated mate. Don't you have any respect for that?” Donte asks me.
I can see the disappointment in his face and it feels like a stone in my chest. I gulp, trying to push it down. I hate that he's looking at me like that.
I hate that any of them is looking at me like that. I know I disappointed them. I know I made an impulsive decision, but I don't want to feel guilty at the moment of my greatest triumph. I had to believe in myself enough to take the chance. I just don't know how to explain that to them.
Even after all our dates and all our sensual time together, there's still so much to learn about each other. Now that everybody's calmed down and I have found the cure, our real mated life can begin.
Unfortunately, that's going to have to begin with me begging for forgiveness and doing everything in my power to make it up to them. I'm guessing that sexy dates are not going to cut it this time.
“I wasn’t trying to kill myself. I was trying to complete my mission.”
“We know you weren’t trying to kill yourself,” Flume says, his dark eyes peering into my soul.
“Don't you guys believe in me?” I ask, attempting to guilt them into forgiving me. I doubt it will work. If wouldn’t work on me if I was in their shoes, but I give it a shot anyway.
“Of course we believe in you, Joon,” Uri growls.
“Don't try to play that card,” Mika says.
“I realize I made a bad decision. Will you let me make it up to you?” I say sincerely, knowing I’m totally cornered.
“The next time you decide to inject yourself with an untested medical treatment, could you give us the heads up first?” Donte asks.
I let out a long sigh. “I suppose that's fair.”
Being cautious with myself is the least I can do for my mates. I’ve thought for so long that if I wasn’t one hundred percent independent, it meant they were in control of my life. I finally realize that just isn’t true. I hope it isn’t too late.
Chapter 37
After I’m discharged from the medical ward, my mates take me home. As we fly along the airways in my luxury speeder, I am reminded of the faith that Arcadia, the tournament judges, and my mates put in me by providing me with everything I have. I grumble at myself, realizing I took their faith and put it in jeopardy.
When we arrive at the palace, Uri insists on carrying me from the speeder. He takes me into the sitting room where a warm fire blazes in the hearth. Reese hands me a cup of warm gow broth soon after I sit down.
“You guys don't have to go through so much trouble for me,” I say.
“When will you ever learn?” Flume states.
“Learn what?” I ask, reaching out for him across the room. He comes to me and enfolds my hand in his.
“Going through trouble for you is what we are here for.”
&nb
sp; On the ride over, I realized what a mistake I made. I might have cured the plague, but I betrayed everyone's trust in me. I disrespected our love. I am sorry. The more I think about it, the more heartbroken I feel.
“I’ve always been afraid my mates would try to control me and keep me from my work. After the claiming, I was so confused, I was even more afraid than ever. I realize now I never should have thought that in the first place. I just hope someday you can forgive me.”
“I’m sure I speak for all of us when I say you have our forgiveness. But we must demand you consult us when these things come into question in the future,” Donte says.
“I will,” I say. “I swear it.” I mean every word.
My mates seem satisfied with my declaration of good faith, and we share a quiet meal together in the sitting room. The food feels good in my stomach, but my body still aches terribly. After eating, I am exhausted. Donte carries me upstairs to my room where I sleep soundly through the night.
The next day, my old habits urge me to go back to the lab, but I know my mates will not appreciate that. Taylon and the rest of the scientists at the Academy continue with testing. As much as I would like to oversee the process, I know my place is at home, until I recuperate, anyway.
After showering and dressing in a long warm robe, I go to the grand dining hall to find our morning buffet prepared and waiting. My mates have already gathered at the table and look up at me when I enter the room. I give them each an affectionate smile and sit at the head of the table. Their faces remain dark as Quintin brings my meal, and I begin to eat my favorite morsels.
Donte sits across from me, taking the other head of the table. It is the first time anyone has sat there. I wonder what it means, but don’t ask.
Everyone has been calling me Queen, but I know that my voice is just one of six in this family. We all need to come to terms with that fact.
I take a long sip of tea and gaze at each of my mates cautiously, hoping to find a stray smile on one of their faces. I’m desperate to connect with them, and to truly feel forgiven.
“We want you to know that we are proud of you for your discovery, Joon,” Donte finally says.
“We don't want to take that away from you,” Uri adds.
“None of us underestimates the value of the vaccine,” says Flume.
“We are all amazed by your brilliance and are extremely proud of you,” Reese continues.
“It is part of why we love you so much,” Mika says.
“I deeply appreciate that, my darlings,” I say, my eyes tearing up.
“We don't want our concern for you to override your excitement for what you have done. We want to make sure that you get your celebration,” says Donte.
“You guys are so sweet,” I say.
“We are going to throw you a party when you are well,” says Reese.
“I can't wait,” I say.
Chapter 38
2
I slip into a new designer gown. The white fabric drapes over my curves, evoking a seductive aura not unlike the dress I wore to the tournament. Tonight is my big night. Officials from all across Draxos will come to congratulate me on my discovery.
I went back to work a week ago, after much negotiation with my mates. The exact components of the vaccine are still being scrutinized by a team of my hand-picked scientists at the Academy. With each iteration, we come closer to a combination that will be safe to administer to the general population. There are naysayers in the public, but I choose to ignore them. We are closer every day to curing the plague completely. The antibodies in my own blood are enough to prove it.
I slip a pair of gold hoop earrings on and leave my hair long down my back. Multiple gold chains dangle over my curves to my waist. Walking across my chamber, the long slit in my gown reveals my leg to my thigh. I'm wearing gold leaf heels that increase my height and accentuate my curves.
When I open the door, I’m met by my mates, all dressed in formal attire. They wear black jackets with a tie at the neck, dashing and delectable as ever. I miss the feeling of them in my arms. They have refused to come to my chambers since my near-death experience. It seems as if they've conspired against me to force me to remain chaste. I admit I am grumpy about it, but the party tonight should distract me from my predicament with my mates.
“You all look so handsome,” I say, going from one to the next, kissing their lips and running my hand over their lapels. Uri grabs my ass when he kisses me, and I slowly peel away, wondering if tonight is the night they’ll change their minds.
Donte offers his elbow and we all take the antigrav to the first floor. My guests are gathered in the grand hall. The hall is draped in formal banners for my house. Tables are set in a large rectangle with the main table at the far end of the room. Well-dressed guests fill the chairs and animated conversation fills the air. Servers refill glasses with merrow wine from crystal pitchers, and the scent of pasties fills the air.
The twin ice dragon crest of the D’frays is honored tonight. I’ve done my family proud. When I enter the room, the first faces I see make my heart leap and my mouth drop open.
“Mother? Father?” I gasp, running toward them at the head banquet table.
I'm wearing a lavish nanotech ballgown and prance like a child into their arms. I don't care who sees me. I haven't seen my parents in cycles, and I've missed them terribly. Especially since the mating tournament. My mother scoops me into her arms and kisses both of my cheeks. My mother’s night sky-black skin is wrinkled with age, but she is more beautiful to me than ever.
“We’ve missed you,” my father says, patting my back as we all take our seats at the head banquet table.
“Have you completed your research on the databases in the station in the Sea of Flux?” I ask them.
“We have spent three cycles there. When the asteroid tide went out, another research team arrived to take our place. After three cycles, it’s time for us to take a sabbatical,” my mother tells me.
“Most of the data is deeply fragmented and requires a great deal of manual processing to make sense of,” my father continues, his steady blue eyes revealing his pride in his research.
“But we have done good work and have recovered much of the history of the outer systems,” adds my mother.
“That is amazing, mother and father,” I say, clapping my hands.
That data is invaluable. My parents are my heroes. As much as I've missed them during this time, I would never rob them of their mission. It impacts us all. Much like my own work. But I am so happy they are here.
“But enough about data recovery,” my mother says. “Our baby girl has discovered a cure for the plague!” She hugs me tight.
“They postponed the drug trials…again,” I say.
“But you have the antibodies in your own blood,” my father says. “You’ve been cured.”
“Technically, perhaps. We will see for sure when our first clutch is born.”
If my mates ever make love to me again.
Look down the table down the main table at my mates and notice my brothers Silas and Beshard at the end. I wave at Silas when he meets my gaze. I’m so happy my brothers are here too, the spitting image of my elderly father in his youth. Looking out on the crowd, I see multiple senators, all the senior faculty at the Academy, and most of the tournament judges. I wave to Ge’ono and he lifts his wine glass to me with a smile.
Everyone is dressed beautifully and the conversation is convivial. The waiters serve my guests and we all eat a delicious feast of fire-roasted sea swine in wasp honey sauce, gow cheese cakes, and spiced merrow wine. My stomach and heart are full by the time I’ve finished eating.
After dinner, we move to the ballroom and the house AI plays uplifting classical music. Mates scoop up the few female dragons in the room, multicolored ballgowns twirling over the polished wood. Flume escorts me into a dance and moves effortlessly across the floor. I’m swept up into his graceful movements, so much more sure and swift than my own. But he holds
me in his arms so tenderly, leading my clumsy steps until they seem as graceful as his. He looks down at me with those dark brooding eyes, and my heart leaps.
The look in his eyes is such a mystery to me still. I don’t know if I’ll ever get it. Being held by one of my mates this close, feeling his strong body next to mine, makes me crave the touch of their hands on my skin. It’s been too long.
My mates take turns dancing with me, and I'm lost in the steps and the sound of the music beating in my heart. Each of them dances with me in a different way. Flume is by far the most skilled, effortless, graceful, confident. Uri is bold and urgent, feeling my body as he moves me. Mika is playful and quick, spinning me around the dance floor. Donte is protective and brave, dipping me low and pulling me up to enfold me in his arms. Reese, ever the romantic, holds me close and looks deeply into my eyes as we undulate in fluid movements across the room.
“Can I have your attention?” Spensi Foro, the Academy president says. “First, I want to thank Joon’s mates for arranging this important celebration,” he says, raising a wine glass. “Joon, we at the Academy want to commend you for your work on the antidote for the plague. There is still more testing to do before it is ready for the general population, but all signs point to a cure. We all have much to thank you for, Joon. You single-handedly discovered a cure for the plague. Not to mention your work with Admiral Sysko in the breeding program with the human species. Joon D’fray you have saved the Draxos from destruction. We all owe you a deep debt of gratitude.”
My heart seizes up in my chest as his words fill the room and everyone cheers for me. I saved the Draxos? I shake my head, not wanting to think of it that way. I didn't have a choice. I had to bring life back to our people. For myself and for my children. It was as selfish as it was altruistic. But I did succeed, and I need to take that in.
“Has Sysko updated you on his situation with his mate?” my mother asks me, between orations. “We didn’t get a lot of news out at the space station.”
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