I couldn’t tell if he wanted to comfort me or be given reassurance. Maybe both. I looked at his hands, pressed against the bed, and knew if I opened my arms to him, he would fall in willingly.
I couldn’t give him either. And I felt bad for that. I curled away from him, facing the wall. He lingered a moment longer, then stood and left the room.
Only then did I let myself cry.
CHAPTER NINE
I awoke in the morning to the smell of smoking meat. My eyes felt sticky and swollen, and I stopped at the sink in my room to wash up. I padded my way to the kitchen and dropped into a chair across the table from Jumis, who didn’t look up from the paperback novel in his hand.
I eyed his plate of eggs and meat, similar to bacon. “Who cooks for us?”
Jumis put the book down on the table top, still open. “Once upon a time the humans made offerings to us,” he drawled. “We were given the very best of what they had. Nowadays, we’re lucky if once in a while a young maiden sets out a dozen eggs or a portion of meat. Since we don’t need to eat, it’s not really a necessity, but it sure is a pleasurable indulgence.” An impish gleam entered his eye. “Much like a few other activities I could think of.”
The look he gave me was far too suggestive for comfort, and my cheeks flamed as I turned away. “You didn’t answer my question. Who cooks the food?”
“I cook the food myself. And I went down to the village and bartered a few gold coins for it. Nobody sees those anymore, and they’re fairly easy to make.”
I regarded him suspiciously. He could cook?
He arched an eyebrow and smiled, drawing my eyes to his lips. Those lips that Dekla remembered kissing so well. I lifted my gaze, and his eyes seared into mine like two hot coals.
“I don’t need to read your mind to know your thoughts, Dekla.”
I reminded myself that I had inherited her memories, but not her feelings. I cleared my throat. “Are there any more eggs?”
“I made you a plate.” He rose from the table and took a clay platter from the counter, already adorned with the same eggs and meat as his. “You and Laima were out half the night trying to save mortality. You must be exhausted.”
“I am.” I rubbed my eyes against the burn of emotion. “And I don’t even know if we accomplished anything.”
“Every life you save counts for something.”
Déjà vu washed over me, from the tone of his voice to the intonation to his word choice. He and Dekla had had this conversation many times before. This man had been her comfort, confidant, consort. She had considered him her help meet and soul mate.
It was too confusing to think about. So I focused elsewhere. “Please tell me we won’t have to do that again today.”
Even without meeting his eyes, I could feel Jumis regarding me sympathetically. “You will find yourself repeating that duty many times before this war is over. Velns and Jods will use their power to try and tip the balance between life and death in their favor.”
The bite of egg I’d just stuck in my mouth lost its taste, as if it were nothing more than ash or dust. “It’s not fair that people are dying because I can’t get to them quickly enough.”
“That’s what fate decrees for them. Yesterday was a terrible tragedy. It was a huge loss for us.”
I swallowed a sip of water. “Must have kept you busy. You have to collect all the souls?”
“Not all. Some find their way to the underworld on their own. But often, the ones who are cut down prematurely, like yesterday, are confused and disoriented. Either Jods or I can free their souls. As he’s not being particularly helpful right now, it all falls on me.”
He masked it well, but I saw the weariness in his eyes as he spoke. I knew he could freeze time at will also, but yesterday must have lasted an eternity for him. “I’m sorry,” I said, allowing a moment to grieve with him.
His eyes darted to the book on the table, and I also stole a peek at it. A Tale of Two Cities. Very appropriate.
“Today should not be so brutal,” he said.
“Why will today be better?” I asked, giving up on my food and putting my fork down.
“No fighting today, only challenges. Perkons is bringing the remaining heroes to the island, as well as about three dozen more who responded to his sign.”
The island. Not as sacred at the meadow, the island was the place where games and trials involving mortals were often held. The doorway to the island was on Cape Kolka, and it could be used to access both the island and the meadow. It was how mortals entered our realm. But it required a magic token to cross through and was guarded carefully against intruders.
“They will be given tasks to prove their ingenuity and strength until we know which one is capable of defeating Velns,” Jumis continued. “We should go. All of the gods will be there to watch, including your sisters.”
My sisters. Beth! How had I forgotten her? She was a full-fledged goddess now! “Where is my sister? Where is she staying? What happened to her yesterday? You told me you’d send her after us!” Indignation flared up, accusation lacing my words. If Beth had been with Laima and me, we could have saved more people. Had he made yesterday harder on me on purpose?
“I tried,” he said, holding up his hands in a defensive posture. “She didn’t know how to change and she wasn’t sure how to track you. Her memories have not come back as quickly as yours.”
She hadn’t seen Laima and me transform. I wouldn’t have known either without Laima’s example.
Jumis continued, “Karta has returned to the cabin the three of you shared. Laima still lives there.”
Right. I remembered now, the three-story cottage in the woods where they held their private lives. “And Meredith? Trey?” Shame shot through me for forgetting my friends. Although, in my defense, I had been a bit preoccupied.
Jumis shrugged. “I have not inquired about them.”
I took my dish to the counter. “I’ll wash that when I get home. I’m going to see my sister.”
“They’ll both be at the island. I told Perkons we would come when you woke.”
I gave a nod and stepped outside, conjuring a pathway through the woods without difficulty. I didn’t wait for Jumis.
The pathway spit me out on a beach. Nearby was the stone archway that acted as a portal both to earth and to the meadow for mortals and lesser beings without the ability to create pathways. I climbed a hill and spotted the would-be heroes as soon as I reached the top. They were gathered below me in the center of a kind of gladiator-pit. Perkons stood on a rock, addressing them, his hair standing on end as lighting shot out of the ends of it. I did a quick head count, my heart sinking.
Yesterday there had been hundreds of hero wannabees. Today there were maybe eighty, and that included the thirty or so new fighters Perkons had gathered. Were the rest dead? My thumb found its way to my mouth, and I nibbled the nail. With any luck, the majority wizened up to the danger and went home.
“Jayne, Jayne!”
I spun around at the sound of my sister’s voice. “Beth!” I gasped.
She hurled herself into my arms, and I hugged her tightly like I had not been able to do under the duress of yesterday’s battle. My hands tangled in the smooth fabric of her dress, and I pulled away to get a better look. I laughed. “I knew blue would look good on you.”
She wore a flowing gown similar to mine, but in the shade of the lightest blue, as if she had dipped herself into the sky and come away with it clinging to her. “It’s lovely, but I wouldn’t mind having a few other colors.”
I glanced around for Trey and Meredith but didn’t see them. “Do you remember everything now?”
Beth shook her head, curly brown hair bouncing around her shoulders. She didn’t seem to worry about finding a straightener anymore. “It’s coming back to me in bits and pieces.”
I took her hand and clasped it under my arm, sandwiching her to my side. At least one thing was for sure. She was no longer going to die from a drug overdose like in the
vision I had of her last year.
I opened my mouth to ask her about Trey and Meredith, but one face in the sea of would-be champions caught my attention. I took a step toward the arena, trying to get another glimpse. But the head had vanished.
Beth tugged on my arm. “I’m staying with Laima. She’s here, you should talk to her.”
I’d talked to her plenty yesterday. “In a minute.”
“Jayne, yesterday I—”
I moved away from Beth. The head of dark hair had reminded me too much of Aaron for me to pass up the opportunity for a better look. I pulled out of her grasp and moved quickly toward the gathered mortals. It couldn’t be Aaron. Of all the possible futures I’d seen for him, being here was not one of them.
I spotted the dark head of hair, and my heart skipped a beat. How many gladiators showed up at a bull fight wearing a sweater vest?
I pressed a hand to my mouth as his face turned in profile. There was no mistaking that chin or those eyes.
It was Aaron.
CHAPTER TEN
I made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob. Aaron couldn’t be here. Why was he here?
“Jayne.” Beth closed her hand around my forearm again.
I shrugged her off. “It’s Aaron!” I said, my voice high-pitched and giddy. “Aaron!”
He turned, and I knew he heard me, but Beth yanked me away.
“Let me talk to him!” I said, the battle of emotions that raged inside me washing away my rational thought.
“You can’t. Or have you forgotten you’re married?”
“But it’s Aaron!” I cried
“Jayne.”
Something in her voice caught my attention, and I finally stopped fighting her.
“Leave him alone,” she said, her tone soft and serious. “He’s here for a reason.”
“But he can’t be,” I said. “The only reason anyone is here is because they are . . .” My voice trailed off as my mind finished the sentence. The heroes. The only reason anyone was here was because they were doing hero trials.
Which Aaron could not be doing. Unless someone else had messed with his future.
“Why is he here, Beth?” A deadly note entered my voice, and my sister narrowed her eyes in response. But she didn’t flinch from the accusation in my tone, and my stomach twisted. She had something to do with this.
“He wanted to be here,” she said.
“This wasn’t one of his paths!” I cried. “I saw his possible futures, all of them, and this wasn’t one of them! I offered him the path of least resistance, the one most likely to let him forget me!”
The look of eternal patience Beth gave me did not fit her mortal age of fourteen years. “You were out of line,” she said, her voice comforting rather than chastising. “Aaron is an adult now. He is no longer under your jurisdiction.”
My mind whirled as I took in the information. I had forgotten that minor detail. I grasped at another straw. “But this was not one of his options. I saw his futures. He was never here.”
I could not decipher the expression on her face. “I gave him this option,” Beth said.
“You?” I gasped, nearly staggering under the confession. “Why would you do that?”
Beth kept her shoulders straight, though I saw the guilt in her eyes. “As I was trying to tell you. I went home yesterday. I visited Mom. And I turned my phone on and listened to half a dozen inconsequential messages. But there was one of importance. From Dana. She called me and told me what you had done. What you tried to do. So I did this instead.”
“But how? This was not a possibility!”
Beth smiled. “I visited him and told him about the heroes. Once we’d had the conversation, the idea to compete entered his head, and it became a possibility.”
I clenched my fists together, trembling with fury at the betrayal of both my best friend and my sister. “You knew what I wanted for his future. You could have given that to him. And instead you did this to him?” My hand fell down behind me, gesturing to the group of heroes ready to risk their lives in a war that wasn’t theirs.
“I only gave him the option. He chose to follow.”
“How can this help us?” I cried. “He’s human!” My voice strangled.
Didn’t he know he was going to be fighting dragons and trolls and who knew what? Never had I been so tempted to strike my sister as right now. “How could you do this to him? To me?”
Her hand came out and gripped my wrist, but I fought against her. “I did this for you!” she said, raising her voice. “For both of you.”
I was stuck on repeat. “How could you?”
“Because I told her the loophole. For your marriage.”
We both turned as Trey approached, strolling casually with his hands in his pockets. My eyes trailed over his apparel, and I glared. He got to keep his jeans.
Then his words caught up to me. “You found a loophole?” I whispered.
“I told you there’s always another option.” He stopped beside us and kept his voice low. “If Aaron is chosen as the champion of the gods, he can defeat Velns and win the war. And as the victor, he can then challenge Jumis and win you back.”
“He can free you, Jayne.” Pleading entered Beth’s voice. “This is your chance.”
Her words sank in, and I stopped struggling against her. “He can free me?”
She nodded, and tears glistened in her eyes.
I closed my eyes and choked back a sob. Her motives made sense now, and I could appreciate that she had done this for my sake. But Aaron’s life was too valuable to risk. “He will die. I would rather live an eternity as Jumis’ wife than take away Aaron’s only life.”
“He might not die.” Beth’s voice was barely a whisper, and her hand closed around my other wrist, drawing me closer. “I have Seen it. He can win this.”
Hope flared within me as brightly as fireworks on the Fourth of July, igniting little sparks all the way to the ends of my fingers, dispelling the gloomy veil over my mind as quickly as a curtain pulled away from the window on a sunny day. I tried to tamp it down, I tried not to let myself believe, but my desire to live the life I wanted was too great. “You’ve Seen it?” I whispered.
She nodded. “It is one of his possible destinies.”
I began to cry. She pulled me close, wrapping her arms around me as I cried on her shoulder.
“Just so you guys know,” Trey said, “you’ve created a bit of a commotion. It hasn’t gone unnoticed, particularly by your husband, Jayne.”
“Happy reunion.” I pulled away, smiling brightly at Beth and wiping my eyes. “I’m just so happy to see you.” Leaning closer, I said, “Don’t go near Jumis. He can read your thoughts if he wants.”
I didn’t want Aaron to be here. I didn’t want him to risk his life for me. But there was no denying the hope I felt at the chance that we might be together again.
The first trial began. We turned as one to face the bullpen below. The gate to the arena opened, and a creature that looked like a cow on panther legs with the face of a very ugly man lurched out. A single horn exited the forehead of the human face. The creature rambled across the arena, kicking up patches of grass as it walked.
This guy didn’t look so scary. I could see the mortals relaxing as well, waiting to see what it would do. The creature walked right up to them and sniffed a man. A warning bell sounded in my mind, but before I could fully comprehend why, the horn gutted the man’s belly, and the ugly face buried itself into the man’s chest with a sudden ferocity and speed that shocked me. Blood sprayed across the creature as it shook its nasty head. When it pulled back, a gaping hole had been left in the man’s torso.
I recognized the creature now. A bicorn, an evil beast that stayed fat and satiated by eating the hearts of kind and devoted people. Exactly the type we had gathered in the arena.
The man’s scream of pain reached us above the bullpen, and horror shot through me. I screamed with him. That could’ve been Aaron, and none of us would h
ave been the wiser until after! What was I thinking? Aaron couldn’t possibly win this! He wasn’t immortal, he wasn’t even a skilled warrior!
The humans realized the danger and rushed forward together, yelling and brandishing their swords. I pushed toward the arena. Arms wrapped around my torso, trapping me.
I spun around, ready to yell at Beth some more, only to find it was Laima with her arms around me.
“Jayne,” she said in her ethereal voice. “You have to let him do this.”
I beat at her arms furiously. “No, I do not! Change his fate now! This is not how it ends for him!”
She released me. “We cannot alter his fate now that he has started the trials.” She knelt at my feet and picked something from the grass, then held a small, vibrant orange feather out to me. “You lost something. Hold on to your plumage. It’s valuable.”
I couldn’t care less about the feather. I batted her hand away, but when she shook the feather at me, I snatched it and stuffed it into my belt. “Aaron,” I said, my voice stony. “I don’t care about the rules. Get him out of there. He can’t do this by himself.”
She tsked. “Have you forgotten, Jayne? Warriors never have to fight by themselves.”
She twirled her fingers in a circle, and I cocked my head as memory pulled from my mind. Throughout history, the gods would throw themselves behind a mortal or warrior as a patron, loaning him skill or power or luck, lending a portion of themselves to help him win, and thus allowing the gods to win vicariously.
It wasn’t even considered cheating. The best warrior got the most patrons.
But I had no power to lend him. Maybe if I were a full goddess I might, but for now, all I could do was summon a vision of the heroes’ lives. I couldn’t even alter their destinies. Besides, he needed something more than that, like a sudden remarkable swordsmanship.
“I name Aaron as my champion,” Laima said, her voice taking on an official quality. “As his sponsor, I give him this cloak of swan feathers.” From somewhere in her tunic (was everything magical here?), she removed what looked like a cape. Made of white feathers.
Destined (Goddess of Fate Book 4) Page 7