by Lea Hart
Scooting away, she crossed her legs and gave him a sympathetic smile. “Life is life. Sometimes it’s beautiful and sometimes it’s hard. And we’re not in a place where we’re going to do one another a bit of good. The things I need are not what you have to give and vice versa. You can’t tangle yourself with me at this point in your career. I know what it looks like, and I don’t need to see the movie again.”
“Whatever happens between us is not what happened between your parents. We have our own story, and it can be whatever we make it.”
“When are you wheels up?”
“What?”
“You heard me. You were called into a briefing yesterday and the only way that would have happened during your down cycle was if you were about to go wheels up.”
“Any day now, if I take a spot on the platoon.”
“I should know by tomorrow what I’m dealing with, so if God has decided that I need to take this battle on again, I’ll be starting chemo on Monday. If I’m lucky, I can beat the shit out of cancer in a year or two, and during that time, I’ll be filling my body with poison and then radiating the shit out of it until there’s nothing left. Trust me, you don’t want a seat at the horror show this disease is. I wouldn’t want you to be there.”
“What if I want to be?”
“That’s the thing about having cancer, you win all the arguments. Who the hell wants to piss off a cancer patient?”
“That is the crappiest thing I’ve ever heard.”
Brooke looked down at her hands. “No, it’s not. Hearing you have leukemia is, and hearing your mom has six weeks to live is.”
Scooting closer, Frisco took Brooke in his arms, held her tightly, and swallowed loudly. “You can’t get rid of me.”
“Let’s just keep the memories that we’ve made and cherish them.”
“I want to make a thousand more together.”
“That’s not our story, Frisco. Our story is some amazing nights in Africa and…” Brooke looked up and saw tears gather in Frisco’s eyes and knew what she had to do. “Don’t be a big baby and start crying. You’re a damn SEAL and have an op to get ready for.” Leaning forward, she gave him a sweet kiss and then pulled away. “Thank you for giving me some amazing memories.” She uncrossed her knees and then stood. “Be safe out there, and I’ll see you when I see you.”
Giving him one last smile, she turned and walked away, praying she kept her tears at bay until she got farther down the beach. Once she had passed the first condo building, she started to take regular breaths and realized she was more like her mother than she ever realized. In fact, if Nancy Foster had witnessed the conversation, she would definitely approve.
Fuckity, fuck… She was her mother, and for the first time, she understood with crystal clarity exactly what she’d done in shielding her father from the worst of her fight with cancer.
Hell, she totally one hundred percent got it because, after only a month with Frisco, she had no desire for him to be around; she couldn’t imagine what her mom had felt.
Which made her realize that this whole thing was meant to teach her all kinds of things, not the least of which was that perhaps her mother and father’s story was one she didn’t understand.
Thinking of Frisco’s face, she felt nausea roll up and quickly swallowed it down. It had to be done; she had to let him off the hook and make him believe she had no interest in his presence. Which, truthfully, she didn’t, because there was no way she was going to let him witness the utter destruction that cancer wreaked on a mind and body.
Better he should remember the night in Zakouma and nothing else. That was a memory worth holding on to.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Friday, October 6
Brooke sat at the kitchen table and moved her cold cup of coffee over and read through the notes she’d made. Maybe, if the fates smiled down on her and she didn’t end up having a relapse, she could pursue the idea she and Piper had been dreaming about.
Hearing her brother’s footsteps, she looked up and saw that he was in his board shorts and a T-shirt. “Where’s the swell today?”
“Windansea up in La Jolla.”
“Who are you going with?”
“A couple of buddies from high school.”
She watched him go into the kitchen and grab a banana and a chocolate muffin she’d made earlier. “I’m glad you’re not going alone, because if you crack your head, you’ll need a ride to emergency.”
“I’ve never cracked my head surfing, so I don’t expect to start now.”
“Can you bring home some fish from El Pescador Fish Market for dinner?”
He slid into a seat next to her and nodded. “Sure.” He took the notebook she’d been writing in and started reading. “What’s this?”
“Piper and I have talked about starting a mobile health clinic, and these are some ideas that I’ve come up with.”
“Is that a bus you’ve drawn?”
“Yes.” She pushed her foot into his leg and laughed. “Don’t make fun.”
“I’m not.”
“Piper’s grandmother passed away six months ago, and my best friend is not just a regular heiress anymore, but a stinking rich one.”
“That’s right, I always forget she comes from the Cargill fortune.”
“Anyway, she wants to fund a foundation and put some mobile clinics together.”
“You two going to drive around the wilds of California and offer medical care?”
“We’re thinking about it.”
“It’s a great idea, except you two are lousy drivers, so you better find someone else to do the actual driving.”
“Ha-ha.”
He devoured the muffin in three bites and then took her cup of cold coffee and drained it. “Should we know by five?”
“Hopefully. If the lab isn’t backed up, then we may hear sooner.”
“I started the ball rolling on getting a leave of absence from work, so if it comes down to it, I’ll be ready.”
“No way, Chance. You’re not doing that. I’ll be fine, and the last thing I want you to do is to walk away from a career that you’ve busted your ass to get.”
The doorbell rang, and Brooke got up, pointed her finger at her brother and frowned. “I mean it.”
Looking through the window next to the door, she saw her father standing there with a pink box in his hand. “What the heck…” She swung the door open and stared at her father. “Hi.”
He lifted the box and gave her a tight-lipped smile. “Brought you a cake.”
Stepping back, she let him in. “Thanks.”
“I knew you wouldn’t return my phone call for a week at least, so I decided to come by and see if you’ve gotten any news.”
She led him into the kitchen and then took the cake box from him. “I haven’t heard anything yet.”
Chance stood and crossed his arms. “What are you doing here?”
Mirroring Chance, he gave both his children a stern look. “Your mother taught you both better manners, and I expect to start seeing them PDQ.”
Brooke looked over at her brother and snorted. “Does he really think that’s going to work?”
“Seems so.”
They each took a seat at the table and Brooke waited for the show to begin. By all accounts, it was going to be a good one because the rear admiral was clearly flummoxed by the fact that his kids were not minding. He’d spent twenty years in the Navy having his every command obeyed, and his children showing so little regard for him must be confusing. “Have a seat if you’re staying.”
He took one at the head of the table and folded his arms. “I know that we’ve not been close in a very long time, but I want to change that, and both of you acting like I’m a relative you’d rather avoid is not going to allow us to become a family.”
“You forgot to ask us,” Chance stated firmly.
“Ask what?”
“If we’re interested,” he replied.
“My mistake.”
; Brooke watched her father study his hands and felt a small kernel of compassion for him. “Why now, Dad? Do you have a fatal disease and want to clean the slate before you meet your maker?”
“No, Brooke, I do not. And being a smart-ass is not going to help the situation.”
“I disagree. Being a smartass always helps the situation because it allows me to say what I think under the guise of humor, thus deflating the tension by a thousand degrees.”
“I thought you’d grow out of that habit by the time you became an adult,” he replied with a sigh.
Chance threw his head back and let out a laugh. “She’s raised it to an art form and only gets better at it every year.”
Giving her brother a big smile, she squeezed his hand. “Thanks, it makes me so happy that you’ve noticed.” Tilting her head toward their father, she raised an eyebrow. “What should we do about grumpy pants over there?”
“Nothing. I bet he loses interest before it becomes a problem for either one of us.”
“You’re probably right. Let’s be nice for now and see if he’ll leave.” They both turned toward their unsmiling father and pasted big, insincere smiles on their faces and waited.
“If you two are done with the show, then I’d love a cup of coffee to go with the cake I brought over.”
Letting out a sigh, Brooke stood. “Seems we’re in for the whole ‘I’m more stubborn than you’ show.”
The rear admiral gave both of his children a nod. “Seems we are.”
Chance’s phone started buzzing on the counter, so he got up and checked it. “I’m going to skip the cake and coffee. I’ve got some waves calling my name, and the guys are waiting.” He hooked his finger over his shoulder. “You okay with the big mean bear?”
Brooke looked around her brother’s shoulder. “Yeah, I’ll feed him some cake, and we’ll be fine.”
He walked over and kissed his sister’s head. “Call me if you hear.”
“Okay. Don’t forget to pick up the fish.”
“Will do.” He walked over to his father and grinned. “Be nice to her.”
“Always, son.”
Brooke made two cups of coffee and placed one in front of her father and then brought over the cake with plates and cutlery. She opened the box and saw that it was from the market and decorated with big frosting flowers. Her favorite. “Thanks, Dad.”
“Do you still like these?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Wasn’t sure if your tastes had become more sophisticated over the years.”
“I still love McDonald’s and cake from the grocery store.” She cut them each a piece and then took a bite of the big purple flower that sat on the corner of her piece. When the sugar exploded in her mouth, she closed her eyes and smiled.
“You always made that face when you were little.”
“Sugar makes me happy.” Wiping her mouth, she sat back and took a sip of her coffee. “So, are you really serious about this whole family thing?”
“Yes, honey. I am.”
“Any way to talk you out of it?”
Leaning forward, he gave her a smile. “No.”
“Damn.”
He took a bite of cake and then smirked. “Never give up and never give in.”
“Are you going to bring cake every time you come over?”
“If that’s what it takes to get you to open the door, then yes.”
“There may be some advantages to this whole family thing, and I’ll consider it.”
“It’s all I can ask.” He finished off his cake and then drank his coffee. “I heard from Rear Admiral Delman yesterday. He called to tell me if there’s anything you need, he and his wife are available.”
“How in the heck did he hear about my doctor’s visit?”
“Lt. Cmdr. Jones was in his office yesterday turning down a place on a strike team because he wanted to be around for his girlfriend in case she needed him.”
“Oh, Dad, I never wanted him to do that.” Sweeping the cake crumbs into her hands, she dumped them on her plate. “I told him last night that I didn’t want to see him anymore.”
“I thought things were going well between you two.”
“They were, but I’m not dragging him into a relationship if I end up fighting cancer for the next year or so. No way does he need to see that.”
He raised an eyebrow and waited. “Sounds familiar.”
She put up a hand and shook her head. “I already made the connection and realized after I walked away from him that I was my mother’s daughter. For the first time, I understood Mom’s decision to keep you away as much as she did.”
“The love of my life did not want me to see her falling apart. She always said that she wanted me to remember who she was, not what she’d become.”
“Yeah, it never made sense to me until last night.”
“I should’ve ignored her and left the Teams when she was diagnosed. I would give just about anything to have that time back with her. It wouldn’t have mattered to me if we’d spent it in a hospital room or not.”
“What about me, Dad?”
He leaned forward and took her hand. “I will never forgive myself for not being there for you. Seeing you in the hospital fighting that monster almost broke me, so I did the only thing I knew how, and that was going out to make the world as safe as I could for you and your brother.”
“You may get a second chance to see me kick cancer’s butt.”
“If I can figure out a way to kick it for you, then I’m damn well going to.”
“Don’t think it’s going to be necessary. I have a feeling it’s malaria and nothing more.”
“I pray to God you’re right.”
She swirled her finger in some frosting and then licked it off. “Maybe this happened so I would have the opportunity to understand Mom.”
“Maybe.” He drained his coffee cup. “When you get the all clear, are you going to give Frisco a chance at having a place in your life?”
“Probably not. I’ve already lived with one SEAL, and I don’t think I want to live with another.”
“He won’t be one forever.”
“I think we had one perfect month together, and to make it more than that would be a mistake.”
“Time will tell.”
As she looked at the frosting smeared on her plate, she felt the pain in her chest sharpen and knew it was going to take a very long time to get over what they had.
A very long time indeed.
***
Making a fifth attempt, Frisco dialed Brooke’s number and prayed she’d finally get so annoyed that she’d just answer his call. When the call was connected, he pumped his fist and knew tenacity always paid off. “Hi, sweetheart.”
“Hello.”
“Did you hear anything yet?”
“As a matter fact, I did and…” She cleared her throat and then sniffled.
He closed his eyes, bent over, and took a deep breath in. He could handle it; they could handle it. No way was he going anywhere, and she would soon understand it.
“It’s not cancer.”
Sitting up abruptly, he stared across the room. “Can you repeat that?”
“No cancer, just a flare-up of malaria as well some unidentified parasite having a party in my body.”
“Thank God.” Wiping his hand across his face, he felt the tears that had fallen in the breath of space between knowing and not. “Can we celebrate?”
“This doesn’t change anything, Frisco.”
“Are you serious?” He stood and started to pace. “I didn’t accept what you said yesterday, and I sure as shit don’t accept it today. You can’t just dismiss what we have.” He took growled in frustration. “Let me come over, and we can talk face-to-face.”
“No!” she shouted.
“Why the hell not? Are you afraid if we’re together, you’re going to realize how stupid not being together is?” When he heard her suck a breath in, he knew she was pissed. Which was fine, because he was too.
“You know that what we have is incredibly unique and we’re never going to find it with anyone else.”
“I don’t want to date a SEAL,” she replied determinedly.
“I’m more than my job, and you know it. You’re using it as an excuse so you don’t have to risk happiness.”
“That’s bullshit,” she yelled. “I’m not afraid of being happy.”
“Prove it. You’ve had shit storm after shit storm in your life, and I think you’re afraid to want anything that makes you too happy, in case it’s ripped away.”
“Take that back right now.”
“No. I’m going to fucking fight for us, for you, and whatever gets in the way of that.”
“Go on the op, Frisco.”
“Don’t tell me what to do.”
“Take your own damn advice and don’t tell me what to do either.”
“Let me come over, Brooke. I don’t want to fight over the phone.” He leaned his head against the wall and hit it a couple of times. “Please, honey, we got amazing news today, and I want to celebrate together.”
“No, because if you do, then I won’t be able to resist, and I have to.”
There it was. The truth about how she really felt about him. “Why?”
“Because I can’t risk it.”
“You have to, Brooke. To get to the good stuff, you have to step out of your comfort zone and trust.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Baby, let me come over so we can talk face-to-face.”
“No, Frisco. You go on your op.”
“Fine, I’ll take my place on the team, only if you promise to see me when I get home.” When he heard nothing, he remained silent. If he pushed her more than he already had, she was going to fight him. “Remember when I told you that you were my woman?”
“Yes.”
“I shouldn’t have, because I haven’t earned you yet. What I should have told you is that I’m your man, and through action and deed, I’m going to gain your trust, and eventually, you’ll count on me completely.”
“You didn’t have to bring out the heavy guns, Frisco.”
“Oh yes, I did, Brooke. We’ve barely started, and I’m not giving you up until we make a real good run at it, and even then I probably won’t.”