Sive

by Daniela Jackson

  Warmth washes over my heart. It’s the kind of warmth that makes you unable to react, deafens you like you are inside a huge bell ringing and makes your heart squeeze with both pain and joy.

  I nudge the plate and my lips search for hers. We kiss, but it’s crazy and frantic like she tries to breathe in me and I try to breathe in her. I devour her and she devours me. It’s a kissing frenzy, almost as good as fucking. No—

  Equal to fucking, but different. Our bodies try to merge together and even that is not enough like we want to touch and feel one hundred percent of one another.

  I kiss her neck, scratching her skin with my teeth then she does the same. My palms stroke her arms as do hers, hard and impatiently like we have a fever. Like a real fire will incinerate us at any moment. I never expected that such simple touch could be so sensual and intense.

  The bang of the front door tears us from our madness, and Zane strides over towards us. He smirks and tosses back his hair, then his eyes travel to the cakes.

  “Don’t even think about it,” I say.

  “Kolya has just collected the money,” Zane says. “He asked me to remind you about the job.”

  Sive hands a plate with scrambled eggs to him and something heavy sits on my chest.

  I nod. “After the weekend.”

  “I can do that,” Zane says.

  I shake my head. “No.”

  Sive tilts her head and stares at us.

  “Just the garage stuff, baby,” I say.

  Zane grabs Sive’s letters, sweeps his eyes over them, and erupts into laughter.

  “Put them back,” I warn him.

  Zane stands behind Sive, kisses her cheek, and wraps his arms around her chest.

  “Leave that animal, Sive,” he says, “and move in with me. I will be gentler with you.”

  “Take your hands off her.”

  “She’s family now. I’m just trying to be nice to her.”

  “Get out, Zane,” I growl.

  Zane kisses Sive’s other cheek and returns to the garage.

  I run my fingers through my hair as my eyes slide to Sive’s feet. “You need a pair of nice shoes, I guess.”

  Sive’s glance travels to her naked feet and she nods at me. I rush to the bedroom, pull on a t-shirt and my cut, then join Sive and take her for a walk to the town. She squeezes my hand with hers and turns her head in every direction as we saunter along the main road. It would be nice if—

  If every man didn’t gape at her. Even women shoot her curious glances. And Sive is completely unaware of her influence on people. I’m not going to enlighten her. It would spoil her rotten.

  I buy her a pair of sandals and show her the tobacco shop. Her joy makes me happy. She’s excited and shaky as we explore the dark interior. She seems to love every inch of that place.

  As we walk slowly to the house, she talks to me in sign language. I don’t understand anything for shit, but I’m even happier. That unearthly creature is hopping beside me like gazelle, sighing, gasping and gesturing furiously. Her face shows so many emotions that I feel touched like never before.

  What else would I want in life?

  At five fifteen, Sive packs her cakes and Ma picks us up. Ziggy is sitting in the passenger seat. He has shaved his ugly face, has put on clean clothes and hasn’t touched alcohol yet. Ma’s face brightens at the sight of Sive and she starts bombarding her with questions.

  “My ears will explode, woman,” Ziggy mutters and smacks his lips.

  “Cover your ears with your palms then,” Ma says and continues her interrogation. “Does Axel feed you properly every day, sweetheart?”

  “He doesn’t,” Ziggy says. “Can’t you see that the girl looks like a skeleton?”

  “A-xel,” Sive hums and clings to me.

  In the rear-view mirror, I see Ma’s lips curling into a smile.

  “Her speech is worse than mine,” Ziggy comments.

  Soon, we pour out of the car, and I pull Sive behind me to Blaze’s garden as Ma helps Ziggy. I don’t even try to offer my help because Ziggy’s glance would kill me.

  Sive breathes heavily as we immerse ourselves into the green space filled with smoke, the smell of grilled food, laughter and chattering. About twenty people have attended; they are drinking beer or eating. Gunner is playing the guitar. Blaze’s three kids squeal and run across the yard. The women deliver food and drinks.

  “It will be nice,” I say and my palm squeezes the back of Sive’s neck.

  Blaze approaches us, hugs Sive and smacks me on the back. His lady shoots a curious glance towards Sive.

  “Where did you find such a cute girl?” Maria asks.

  I hand the bag with Sive’s cakes to her. “On the road. She waited for me to save her.”

  “So romantic.” Maria looks into the bag and her full lips part in a smile.

  She’s at least ten years younger than Blaze—an expressive and very curvy brunette. Blaze married her two years after his first wife had packed her belongings and left him.

  “Do you want a glass of orange juice, Sive?” Blaze asks. “Or a glass of milk?” He winks at me and Maria nudges his chest with her elbow.

  “O-rangge,” Sive says and smiles at our hosts, honestly like only she can smile.

  My eyes roam over the guests and meet Wendy’s glare. I didn’t expect that bitch to be here.

  Whatever was between us it’s over now. She should make peace with that.

  Chapter 19

  Sive

  I notice Wendy at once and my stomach flutters like I have a horde of flies inside it. She flashes me a bitter smile. Another woman approaches us.

  “This is Mia,” Blaze says.

  “This is Sive,” Axel says.

  Mia glances at me, her lips curling into a polite smile, and we shake hands, but I have a vague impression that she hates me. I’m almost certain she was Axel’s woman once or twice. It is as though people who had sex together are bound with invisible strings one’s subconscious can detect.

  My insides seize with a consuming fire. I feel angry and helpless. It’s a bit like Axel doesn’t belong to me, only to all those women from his past.

  Maria loops her arm through mine and pulls me behind her. Axel nods at me as she leads me across the garden past the swings towards Amanda who bursts into laughter next to Gunner. I look over my shoulder and see Wendy joining Axel, Mia and Blaze. She kisses both Axel’s cheeks and loops her arm through his.

  Somebody’s hand strokes my cheek and my glance meets Amanda’s.

  “Don’t pay attention, sweetheart,” Amanda says.

  Maria hands a white plastic cup with orange juice to me. “Axel has lost his head over Sive completely. I can’t recognise him.”

  “Me too,” Amanda says as her knuckles brush my cheek. “Is he treating you well?”

  I bob my head at her. Her son is treating me like a little princess for the majority of time. In the meantime, he’s using my body in whatever way he fancies. Not that I complain. I like it very much.

  “Wendy is desperate,” Maria says with sarcasm and tilts her head towards where Wendy is hanging on Axel. “You two gossip and I’ll cut Sive’s cakes.” She walks off.

  “Break Wendy’s nose,” Amanda says. “She is a coward without dignity. I’m telling you.”

  I nod at her and catch Ziggy’s glance. He is sitting in the plastic armchair. A cough fit torments him for a moment, then he brings a bottle of beer to his lips.

  “Women love bikers,” Amanda continues. “You have to keep your eye on the ball. Boulder didn’t keep his dick in his pants once. The boys... Well, it doesn’t matter now.”

  “Mmy mmum chea-tted onn—“

  “On your father?”

  I smile at her.

  “You know the pain then,” Amanda says.

  I squeeze her hand with mine and a sudden impulse pushes me to fall into her arms. She stiffens at first and a wave of embarrassment goes through my chest but then she wraps her arms around me and draws me cl
oser to her. I’ve never experienced such warmth from my own mother. Amanda’s arms feel so safe. Stable and long-lasting like rock. It is as if she is sharing her strength with me.

  A big calloused palm moves up and down my back, and I pull away from Amanda. Boulder is standing next to me.

  “Are we going to adopt her?” Boulder asks. “You said you didn’t want more children.”

  “I said I didn’t want more sons,” Amanda says. Her face sharpens but I can’t read whether it’s anger or sadness. “Let’s get rid of the boys and adopt Sive.”

  “Axel has adopted Sive,” Boulder says, “but I’m happy to produce a little girl with you.”

  “We are too old,” Amanda says.

  “You look like you are twenty,” Boulder says.

  “You see,” Amanda says and nods at me. “Prince charming.”

  I have an impression that Boulder’s attention makes her nervous.

  “Let’s focus on making sure that Axel and Sive will produce grandchildren for us,” Amanda says. “Sive’s children will be beautiful.”

  “Five beautiful kids in our garden,” Boulder says. “Can you picture that, Amanda? I’ll start building swings for them. We could take them for holiday. Imagine yourself, you, me and the kids.”

  “Boulder, you are getting old,” Amanda says.

  “I guess I am.” Boulder runs his palm up and down Amanda’s arm. “It would be fun.”

  “It would be fun,” Amanda says. “You, me and the kids.”

  Boulder nods at her several times and his eyes turn glassy for a moment. Something brushes the edge of my consciousness like a refreshing spring breeze. Something liberating, sprouting like new life in spring. Something fragile between Boulder and Amanda.

  I smile at Boulder, then at Amanda.

  Boulder chuckles. “She is adorable.”

  “She’s a little angel,” Amanda says.

  I look over my shoulder and notice that Wendy is stroking Axel’s cheek.

  “Bitch,” Amanda says. “She knows he’s here with you.”

  Boulder shakes his head and curses under his breath as I watch Axel who takes Wendy’s hand off his face and growls something to her. She pushes at his chest and backs up as his eyes meet mine.

  Well, I decide to behave like a coward and shake Amanda’s arm.

  “To-ilet,” I say.

  “Go through the back door, cross the kitchen and it will be on the left,” Amanda says.

  I don’t waste time and hurry to find refuge in the bathroom. Two kids cross my way and I almost bounce off them. Passing Zane and Dash, I enter the kitchen, glance at Maria putting pieces of my cake on the plate and go to the bathroom. Heavy footsteps chase me and strong arms encircle my chest from behind.

  “Sive.” Axel kisses my cheek.

  I’m mad with him. I should be mad with Wendy, but my whole frustration centres on him. Jealousy is eating my insides like I have a horde of maggots in my chest. My body wiggles in his embrace, and he pulls the bathroom door open, shoving me inside. I turn around and watch him closing the door.

  “What do you want me to do?” he asks. “Kill her?”

  “Kkill themm all,” I say as tears well up in my eyes.

  I’m angry with myself. My behaviour is childish but I can’t help it. Why is it so difficult? I want all the women of the age between eighteen and forty to evaporate so they won’t seduce Axel. It’s the lack of dignity, but I have no control over my instincts.

  “It could solve a few problems,” Axel says. “I will kill every chick who dares look at me and you will kill every dick who dares look at you.”

  I bob my head at him and he leans towards me. His mouth covers mine as his tongue parts my lips and we kiss like before. Like we are insane. Like we’re the last two people in the world.

  Axel shoves his hand between my legs and his fingers slide under my panties. I push at his shoulders, but he pins me to the tiled wall and immobilises me with his body pressing against mine. His finger parts my folds and slides into my pussy, fucks me almost violently. Axel’s mouth grazes my neck.

  “Nno,” I say.

  Not in somebody else’s bathroom. It would be rude. I squeeze his shoulders with my hands, but he bunches my wrists and pins them to the wall over my head. His mouth covers mine and kisses my moans of disapproval.

  Axel lifts my thigh and wraps it around his hip. My back pushes up the wall as my other foot tears off the floor. He opens his jeans and moves the lining of my panties to the side, driving his hard cock into my pussy, rooting me. Making me weak in both shock and pleasure.

  My muscles tense up as my whole body absorbs the sensation of being full and stretched. Axel pulls out then goes even deeper. I rest my forehead against his. I don’t breathe and I don’t move. I just feel him.

  Axel releases my hands and wraps my other thigh around his hip. His breath puffs into my ear as his finger slips into my mouth.

  “Suck it, Sive.” His tongue touches my ear, and he bites my earlobe as my lips wrap around his finger.

  I taste myself. A hint of salt and seaweed pricks my tongue. Axel pulls his finger out of my mouth and slides his hand under my panties. I feel his finger moving along my ass crack and pushing at my other opening.

  “Nno, A-xel.”

  He silences me with a kiss, gathers my wrists, and his finger pumps into my ass, knuckle deep. I writhe against him at the stinging sensation from my tight hole, but he kisses me deeper, steals my breath and moves his hips against mine. I surrender to his demand.

  My body shakes at this mixture of pleasure, pain, and novelty. Axel slowly thrusts into my pussy as his finger moves in a circle in my ass, stretching me. It’s like there are too many sensations to bear. Too much heat, too much tension, and too much of a dirty bliss surging through me. Urging me to seek my release. I tremble violently, take a deep breath, then scream into Axel’s mouth, ascend and shatter as my orgasm ripples through me.

  Axel kisses my cheek. “Next time I’ll fuck your sweet ass. You want me in your ass, don’t you?” He pumps into my pussy roughly a few more times and rests his forehead against mine as his face sharpens with pleasure.

  We steady our breaths, then Axel pulls out of me and I slide down, sitting on the floor. My inner thighs feel sticky and wet.

  “Wwash yyour hannds.”

  “Alright.” He raises his hands in a warding gesture, moving towards the washbasin, and turns on the water.

  I scramble to my feet, tear off a piece of toilet paper, dampening it under the tap, and wipe my thighs.

  My legs wobble and I’m furious. Sated and happy at the same time. Axel leans towards me and kisses my lips.

  I growl with fury and slap his abs. He’s never asked about my permission. He’s never asked whether I’m on the pill. And I’m not.

  He is the adult here. Let’s hope he knows what he’s doing.

  I push the door open, step forward and bounce off Boulder. He glances at me with a mischievous flicker in his eyes. My head drops and incinerating heat rushes to my cheeks. I want to kill Axel.

  “I don’t blame you, son,” Boulder says like he’s gritting his teeth. “She has a beautiful ass.”

  I want to kill Boulder now. Or disintegrate.

  I blink and a loud sound like a thunder tearing through the sky makes me freeze. Boulder leaps towards me and we fall onto the floor. His body covers mine as more thunder-like sounds tear at the air. They resemble those of the gunshots from the action movies. Then there is a ghastly silence, sticky around us like a layer of fresh snow has covered us.

  Chapter 20

  Axel

  It was only a warning from the Cobras. Nobody was hurt. Not physically at least. One window is broken and the kids are scared.

  The women’s cold eyes slide over Boulder, almost piercing his chest, unspoken reproach hanging in the air.

  The women want to ask questions; they want to be reassured that the incident doesn’t mean anything serious. Yet they know they will get neither a
nswers nor soothing words from Boulder.

  I glance at Ma who is holding Sive in her arms. My little mermaid is panting. She’s developing a panic attack as tears flow from her eyes forming rivers on her cheeks.

  “The fireworks you are saying?” Sheriff Grant Ruiz says and Boulder nods at him.

  “The fireworks,” Boulder says.

  Grant fixes his pale blue eyes on Sive and she stiffens in Ma’s embrace. Her face turns into an emotionless mask.

  “What’s your name, honey?” Grant asks and watches her with narrow eyes. “Is it Sive Teagan by any chance?”

  Sive sucks in a breath. “Mo-lly. Mo-lly Bbrown.”

  It looks like my little Sive has a strong self-preserving instinct. She composes herself and wipes tears from her eyes, then gazes at me as though she can see my soul.

  “Molly Brown you are saying?” Grant smacks his lips and rubs his round belly with his palm. “Molly Brown not Sive Teagan? Are you sure?”

  “Are you deaf or what, Grant?” Ziggy growls from his chair. “The girl said Molly Brown. She is my niece. You’re scaring her, you idiot.”

  “Your niece?” Grant asks as the furrows on his forehead deepen. “Since when?”

  “Since none of your fucking business,” Ziggy grumbles. “Since my sister forgot what dignity was. Fuck off. I’m looking after the girl now. She’s not well, can’t you see?”

  “Message received,” Grant mutters, raising his hands as though to form a shield. He glances at Boulder with cold eyes. “Next time, be more careful with those fireworks.”

  “No worries,” Boulder says. “Come to ours tomorrow. For a cup of tea.”

  Grant nods at him as a subtle repulsion radiates from his glance and his jaw muscles twitch.

  Boulder will serve him something stronger—a glass of whiskey or a shot of vodka and he will shove a tick envelop into his pocket. As always when we cause trouble in the town. It’s been like this since forever. First, Grant’s father, the previous Sheriff, ended up on our payroll then Grant inherited this privilege. The cooperation went smoothly until the Cobras appeared on the horizon.

  I must admit Grant is not a greedy scum. He just happened to have three kids who started Uni. He needs money, but doesn’t need our style of entertainment. And it’s getting more and more dangerous. I can tell he’s a decent man who happened to be born in the wrong town.