“They remind me of Yirvagnan fashions!” said Caroline, a dear friend of mine who was about to be married herself.
“Oh, no,” I said. “They’re even finer than Yirvagnan fashions. The finest in the world.”
Caroline rolled her eyes at me, but it was true. Everyone spoke of the beauty of faery clothes.
Even as I admired the expensive clothes, I couldn’t help but notice that they were far more elaborate than anything I was used to wearing, so heavy in my hands.
“Fashion is power in the faery courts,” said Lady Bretta, who was older than the rest of us.
“Yes…my mother said it will be very important there…” I did enjoy dressing up for the proper occasions, but I started to feel a little quiver of misgiving. I wasn’t sure how I would feel, wearing so many elaborate gowns so often. I wondered if I would still be allowed to ride horses.
As my command of the faery tongue improved, Prince Augustus was starting to write me longer letters. They had a royal sort of detachment, and he often confessed that he didn’t know how to express himself in words to a woman he had never met. But he offered me plenty of detail about what to expect.
Fashion is very important here. As a child, I resisted it, and still find it cumbersome, but I have learned the purpose behind it all. In this palace, the sweeping skirt and the painted fan and the heeled slipper are not adornments, they are weapons. They are the tools we have used in rituals that keep the people calm and peaceful.
In our hearts, we know we are ordinary, faltering beings, but as ridiculous as it seems, as much as it might go against our instinct, we must not let them know that. My great-great-grandfather discovered this fact two centuries ago. His queen saw the palace as a stage, and all of us as players. They set down the roles that we have played ever since: The King of the Sun, the Queen Who Bowed, and the beautiful court that surrounds us.
People want to be ruled by gods, not mere mortals. They want the privilege of looking at us, but they don’t want us to be like them. We have to play our roles because they crave it with all their being. They feel safe in this, as if they are seeing a play they have seen before, and they know the heroes will triumph.
A play. This made sense to me, that people would want to think of their rulers like they would a play. I did adore the theater; Ferdinand and some of our friends and I had just put on “The Witty Lord” for the servants. I was the loud-mouthed maid who kept accidentally sabotaging the lord’s attempts to woo the elegant young lady played by Caroline.
But I wondered how I would feel if my entire life was a play. If my existence was a role that others had played before me. The Queen Who Bowed. By this time, I had heard the title a thousand times, and I never stopped to think about what it meant.
The Queen Who Bowed…
It didn’t sound like a strong role, although my prince said the queen was loved and revered by everyone, that her submission was considered the source of her strength.
I had to bow because I was cursed, and yet I had made it past my sixteenth birthday and the curse had not claimed me. It was easy to forget that I lived in a kingdom that suffered for lack of spindles, and that was what kept me safe. It was easy to forget I wasn’t a normal princess, and resent that I couldn’t have had some other boy who clutched my portrait to his heart and thought of me always, instead of a reserved young man who wrote me long detailed letters about court etiquette and history.
He sounds like a stick, I thought, and then tried to shove the thought aside.
Caroline was married before me, and so I had a letter from her before I was to leave for my own marriage.
Oh, my dearest Rose, I pray for you. I have been married for eight days now. I thought I would die, such suffering I have endured. I never expected the wedding night to be like that. Outwardly, I had to pretend I was happy but inside I have been consumed with dread every moment. I hesitated before posting this letter, but I see no way for any woman to avoid such suffering and so I would rather tell you that marriage would end in such pain and ugliness. I wish I had known so I would not feel so alone. God will carry you through.
My hands were shaking as I read. My poor Caroline! And now I was heading into the fire myself. What did she mean by it all?
I had to restrain myself from running to my mother and begging to back out of the marriage. My mother would not stand for that. I could just see the disappointment on her face. Every princess married. She was counting on me to make this alliance, and the faeries had taken a chance on a cursed girl.
Whatever I was about to endure, I would have to do as Caroline did and pretend to be happy.
The day seemed to come suddenly.
For years now, I had yearned for the day when I would finally become a woman, and follow in the footsteps of my friends. Now, it felt too real and quite frightening. Ellurine’s borders brushed ours to the east, but my home would be far away. It was possible I would never return home again.
King Emriel had sent a carriage to fetch me, and whispers preceded my exit to the courtyard from courtiers who had already peered out of windows or poked their head out the door to catch a glimpse. “It’s more like a jewel box than a carriage…!”
I was clad in one of my new gowns, a simple one of virgin white with pink ribbon trim, and my favorite little dog was clutched in my shaking hands. Through the wavy glass of the tall windows, I saw a carriage that gleamed in the sun with huge plumes on top. My mother walked just ahead of me, a sedate figure in black, while my brother Ferdinand walked just beside me, a steady hand at my waist. My brothers were protective of me.
The great doors swung open, and a crowd was pressed around, waving handkerchiefs and tossing flowers, cheering for me, their princess. My people… I saw many familiar faces of friends and extended family, my old nurse and my tutor, everyone who had surrounded me with the love and protection that kept me safe from my curse.
I smiled bravely, but suddenly I was terrified. All the training I had ever received seemed to fly out of me, leaving me empty. My mother turned and I saw tears in her eyes. I wanted to press myself into my brother’s arms. Instead, I put all my focus on standing up straight and not letting a single cry escape me. I clutched my little dog Mopsy, feeling her rapid animal breathing.
The carriage was made all of glass and gold. I had never seen a carriage with such large windows, and certainly never one that gleamed like it had descended from the very heavens. The roof was adorned with plumes and flowers, and the interior was embroidered with the four seasons and bouquets of flowers. A team of eight white horses would carry me through the countryside.
The roar of the celebratory crowd had dulled so I no longer heard it. My mother turned to me.
“Rose,” she said. “Your new father, the king, will take good care of you. I’m assured of it. I can tell by his letters that he already adores you, and I’m sure your husband will adore you much more. Love them and obey them. You bear the hopes of our kingdom on your shoulders. Remember everything we’ve taught you.”
“Yes, Mother,” I whispered.
She pressed a little gold bracelet watch into my hand. “Write your mother every week, and know that my thoughts are never far from you.” She kissed my forehead.
I bit my lip. I couldn’t embrace her. It wasn’t proper in front of the court.
“We’re going to miss you, sis,” Ferdinand said into my ear. He could be a little less formal, and it helped calm me, but I also wondered if anyone would ever speak to me like that again.
He swept me into the carriage. The door shut behind me. Now I heard the crowd cheer my name as the wheels started turning. My entire body clenched with pain as the carriage pulled away from my home. Thanks to all of the glass in the carriage, surrounding me on all sides, I could always be seen. The road was lined with well wishers. I wanted to cry, and I realized that I wasn’t going to have any true privacy. I had to choke back my tears.
I didn’t realize, in the middle of my homesickness and pain, that even this was p
lanned—my first test playing the role of princess in the Palace of the Sun.
Chapter Three
Rose
It took almost two weeks to reach the border between our nations, and I swear I felt every step of it down to my bones. This was how far I was traveling from everything I had known. I had never seen so much of my own country, rolling green hills and little ramshackle farms and mountains and fields, and everywhere—people cheering me on, children staring wide-eyed at the faery carriage holding their princess. I didn’t want to disappoint them, so I waved and smiled, endlessly.
The travel seemed to take long enough that the weather had changed from when I left; from a lingering gasp of winter’s cold at my departure to a fine May day when I arrived at the river that divided our countries. An islet stood between our nations, and my mother and King Emriel had decided on this spot for me to become a citizen of the faery nation.
It was no small thing for a human girl to be accepted into a faery court. While humans and faeries sometimes married among the common folk—and indulged in a rendezvous even more often—royalty was another matter. The faeries preferred to marry among themselves and the elves.
I’m sure it was only the fact that I had been given faery gifts that allowed them to accept me. Looking out at the tiny island, I already worried about living up to them. After all, my mother always fretted over the third gift, my quick mind, almost more than the curse. I didn’t expect the faeries to appreciate it either, considering that they expected such obedience from me.
I am a princess. This is the fate of all princesses, I told myself. I owe it to my people to make them proud.
I don’t know if it was much comfort.
I stepped down from the carriage, following my attendants and guards across a footbridge to an elegant little wooden building that had been erected on the island. It was surrounded by trees and bushes that blocked my view of the opposite bank, but I caught glimpses of horses and carriages there.
Inside the building, we walked down a short hallway and into a octagonal room which had been decorated in the Osterian style—relative austere, with forest motifs of pinecones and stags—on my side of the room. On the other side, the suns and griffons of Ellurine were painted on the walls, and everything seemed lighter and more delicate.
The faeries themselves, however, were not as delicate as their clothes.
A tall faery man watched me enter, and I knew instantly he was my prince.
He looked much like his portrait, except that his presence could never have been conveyed in a miniature. He seemed to fill the room, standing tall and broad in his scarlet coat with a ceremonial sword at his waist. His thick dark hair had grown a little, and curled less at this length, but it still held a untamed aspect as it fell to his collar, a style no human would ever sport. His eyes were blue and yet shadowed and intense, and his mouth was full and sensual with slightly pointed teeth. He looked as dangerous as any man of my fantasies, and ten times more beautiful.
I suddenly understood completely why my mother didn’t want to hand me over to this man at the age of fifteen. I think I would have fainted. How could he be a mere two years older than me? He looked so knowing, so assured. I couldn’t stop gaping, raking my eyes over the way the refined shape of his slightly pointed ears led to the graceful line of his cheek and jaw, and the shape of his calves in tight leather boots, almost feminine in the beauty of their curves, but far too muscular to belong to a woman. One of my friends once told me that faeries had beautiful legs because they had slender ankles. Maybe that was it. I would have had to compare his ankles to a human man to be sure.
My mind was wandering. I had to compose myself. I lowered my eyelids demurely, forcing myself to stop staring, and curtseyed.
He stayed several steps back from the split in the room, and bowed to me.
“Princess Marie Rose of Osteria,” he said. “Welcome to Ellurine. I’ve been waiting for this day.”
“Me too,” I said, almost in a whisper. “I am honored to meet you at last.”
He smiled and I almost lost my wits all over again. His smile was broad and genuine, and it seemed to bring a spark to his eyes. But as soon as it faded, the intensity of his eyes fixed me in place. It was a smile I’m not sure he meant to make.
I was still thinking of Caroline’s letter. It was hard to believe any wedding night with such a beautiful man would be too awful, but on the other hand…I had never seen anyone so intimidating. Something in the way he looked at me made me understand instantly that I would no longer have any control over my own fate. I was his now.
“Before you cross the border, as per custom, you must leave everything behind,” he said, nodding at my attendants. He motioned with one sharp flick of a hand, and an older faery woman stepped forward to my side. “This is the Countess Noria,” he said. “She will oversee your wardrobe now. Your ladies may undress you for her.”
Countess Noria was tall and elegant, a classic faery beauty, although past her prime. Her hair had turned white but was still smooth and immaculate, tucked up into a lace cap. Two younger attendants came with her. All three of them curtseyed.
“But this dress was made in Ellurine,” I said.
“It doesn’t matter; it’s the custom.”
My own ladies looked eager to disrobe me. They would probably get to keep the clothes; no one else in the royal family would wear a dress made for me, and servants always took our discards. I often gave my favorite pieces to my favorite handmaiden, but she wasn’t with me today. Four pairs of quick hands beginning to unfasten the pins in my hair and the hooks at the back of my dress as the other girl reached for Mopsy.
“No!” I clutched the dog to me. “Not my dog!”
“Leave her the dog,” Prince Augustus said.
An older man behind him cleared his throat. “Your Highness, it is the custom that she leave everything behind. Including dogs.”
I saw Augustus’ expression turn fierce and he was about to speak, and the old faery said coolly, “She can have a hundred dogs of Ellurine, but not a dog of Osteria.”
There was a weight to his words, as if a dog was not just a dog, but a symbol. I guess everything was a symbol if you looked at it the right way.
I could see Augustus still wanted to stand up for me, and I was grateful, but Mopsy was pulled from my arms all the same. In the commotion of the dog being taken away, I quickly pulled the watch bracelet my mother had given me off of my wrist and closed it up in my hand. Maybe they wouldn’t notice. My hands were clenched into fists anyway. My lower lip trembled, and I forced it to stop. The women were stripping my clothes off my body.
“I’m keeping this,” one of them said, wrestling my skirt away from another girl’s grip.
“I have seniority over you! I should be allowed to keep her dress!”
Countess Noria said sharply, “Sort that out amongst yourselves later. Your mistress is cold.”
Soon I would be down to my underthings. I was so distressed hearing Mopsy whine with despair that I hardly remembered to be embarrassed, but then I looked up and saw the line of strangers watching me.
I felt utterly helpless, panic lancing through me as the heavy white silk of my gown was lifted away from me, my corset unlaced and removed. A row of guards stood behind Augustus, their eyes carefully held away from me, but I knew they saw me anyway.
Augustus was watching me as they pulled my shift off my head. I didn’t know what to do or where to look. No man had ever seen my naked body, and now he could see every inch of me as the women untied the garters that held up my stockings and stripped the silk off my legs. My blonde hair tumbled free over my shoulders. I pulled it over my breasts.
“No,” he said. “Let me see you, Princess. You belong to me now.”
Yes, I realized that was true. That was the bargain. It certainly felt different than mere words on a paper as I stood there before his dark, penetrating gaze. It seemed like such a strange thing to say to a wife; I couldn’t imagine my father h
ad ever said such a thing to my mother. The way he said it was strange to me too. It was like a command, but his voice was not unkind either.
“Step into this for a moment.” One of the girls fitted a piece of wood around one of my ankles and spread my legs a little so it could fit around the other. She closed shackles around my ankles so I was forced to stand with my legs spread. “We don’t want to cut you.”
“What is happening?”
“Hold very still now, Princess,” the countess said, as she lifted a tiny golden blade to the hair between my legs. It glowed faintly with some enchantment.
“This is always the faery custom,” Augustus said.
I flushed all over even as I was shivering, my toes clenching against the cold floor. I looked down and saw all of my pale white skin, my breasts and stomach and then my little folds bared as the curled hair there was stripped away. And Augustus watched it all, as if it was his right. It was, I realized. I couldn’t stand it but I also didn’t want to shrink away from my future husband. The gold links of the watch bracelet hurt my palm because I was clenching it so hard, but I forced myself to look at his eyes as he watched me.
The way he looked back produced a coil of tension that seemed to travel around my belly and then down between my legs, and I felt a gush of wetness come out of me.
“She must find you handsome, Your Highness,” the countess said with a smile. “She spills her nectar for you.”
“Good.”
Was this…how faeries talked? I knew they were more comfortable with bedroom affairs than humans; I knew prudish people whispered about them and told young people to stay away from them, but I could never have anticipated this. I was paralyzed, being the subject of this strange attention, my body responding as if it no longer belonged to me. My quick tongue was certainly not in evidence. Mother would be proud, I thought, sarcastically, because in fact I’m sure she would not want to think of me in this position.
Prisoner of Silk: An Adult Fairy Tale Retelling (Queen of the Sun Palace Book 1) Page 2