“Guten tag!”
That’s me … then I say … “Big fire!”
“Ach ja! … sicher! … es must!”
He thinks it’s fine … that it had to be! …
He asks me: “Wo gehen sie? where are you going?”
“Hanover! …”
He ought to know where Hanover is … he shows me! that way! just follow the tracks … guess there isn’t any road … or it’s too far … okay for the tracks! …
“Sie sind Franzosen?”
We’re Franzosen all right! we’re workers, I explain, factory workers, our factory is kaput! bombed out, burned down … so we’re looking for another! … that hasn’t been bombed! … that makes sense!
“Sicher Hanover! sure to be one in Hanover!”
I ask him if he’s seen any French people … not sure! … he’s seen some foreigners, up there, he points east … they were fighting! … fighting among themselves … during the shelling … before the station went up in flames … lots of dead in the field! … and wounded! … maybe Restif, I thought, and his men … by the way, I never saw Restif again … neither in Germany nor Denmark … nor later here … I asked all over … Marion knew him a lot better than I did … but Marion, you know, is dead … good old Marion! … so sensitive, so affectionate … he sure helped us to stick it out in Sigmaringen … warned us about all the traps! … three … four a week … and the fun he had with Bébert, getting him to look like old man Descaves° … his bristling moustaches, my muffler, the drop at the end of his nose … the way we laughed! nobody left to laugh with! … Restif had no wit, he was a prestidigitator, a good one, but that’s all … our job there was getting to Hanover! … heavenly chroniclers, don’t let me lose the thread! … our gunner wasn’t talking any more, too busy picking up cartridge cases, they were all over the place, even bullets … policing up, in short … all the same, he wants me to understand!
“Du verstehst? Kupfer! … Krieg!”
Kupfer! copper! war! … copper!
Certainly! he was right!
“Sicher! … sicher!”
War is copper! … it’s bread too! and sardines and sausage! … he stops poking in the puddles … he asks if we have anything to eat … we’ve got half a loaf of bread … for us and Bébert… I show him …
“Ich habe Chokolade!”
He’s pulling our leg … no, he’s really got some! … genuine … with hazelnuts …
“Englisch flieger! … Kaput!”
An explanation for everything … he picks up better things than bullets and cartridge cases … he breaks his chocolate bar into three pieces … one for Lili, one for me, one for him … what about Bébert? … another musette bag! … he looks … no! … nothing! only some wads of bread pulp … that must be from the English flier too … Lili holds some in the palm of her hand … Bébert accepts it … now we’re all set, I think, we can hit the tracks… I ask him …
“Kein Zug? no train?”
“Ach nein! nicht mehr!”
Let’s go then! … not fast though … I’ve only got one cane left … they’re not bombing very hard, but even so … in the northwest … direction of Hanover … whatever he says … and not far … you can see the flames … I hand him my best German …
“Guten tag! schöne danken! many thanks!”
We shake hands…
“Gute Reise! … beide! … pleasant journey, both of you! höre mich! listen to me!”
And he sings … for us …
“Nach Winter kommst doch ein Mai! after the winter the month of May!”
“They didn’t send up any flares … you know, blue ones! and green ones!”
“No! … they didn’t want anybody to get away!”
Ah, that explains it … let’s go now! no time to waste … tie by tie … humble travelers, modest tourists, humbler and humbler, modester and modester … we’d end up on all fours … Bébert wanted to be carried … he wanted something better than old bread pulp, even if it was English and came from an airplane …
“Bébert, you’ll see in Hanover!”
Lili says tome:
“Hanover’s north … do you still want to go this way?”
“I don’t want to, kid … it’s not my idea … they haven’t asked us …”
God’s truth … it was none of my doing …
“He said the trains had stopped running …”
“He ought to know!”
Referring to the cartridge-case collector … we weren’t going fast … even so, from tie to tie … we’d gone maybe a mile and a half … it wasn’t light yet, but there was kind of a glow … pink … in the clouds … we could see the country … the farms … not a soul! … man or beast … we’d finished our chocolate …
From tie to tie … up ahead … a few hundred yards … there’s somebody sitting on the track … and somebody else a little further on … we come up … I go hey! … I touch his shoulder, I press … oh, not hard … whoops, he tips overl … flat on his back! … with his legs in the air … plunk! … on the roadbed! … I go over to the other one … I hardly touch him … same caper … he capsizes! … I look at their faces … a man … a woman … about forty, forty-five … dead at least six hours … death certificates, I’ve told you, I’m experienced … I ought to take a look at the bodies … they must have been riddled … sitting here like this? … from the air, by a plane? … or by a patrol? … from which direction? … hell, it’s none of our business! … come on! … let’s go! … crumbled walls over there … used to be factories, I guess … say, voices … over there! … several in fact … I don’t see a thing … they’re hidden behind a wall … a discussion … in what language? … German? … yes! and French … we’d better listen before we show ourselves … they’re talking about Hanover … about passing through … from one station right near here to the other one, a long way … I don’t think we know these people, they’re workers from somewhere else … not from Dresden or Ulm … Poland, I think … they weren’t in Oddort … that’s for sure! … okay then! … we’re practically on top of them, but they don’t notice us … they want to go to Hamburg … fine! so do we! … I gather from their mumbo-jumbo that trains are still running … from Hanover … the other station … to Hamburg … good! but not regularly … I wouldn’t think so … the rough part is getting through Hanover … they know all about it! the suburbs, the city … all burned, so they say … that’ll make it easier! let’s go! I think there’s about fifty of them starting out, mothers, children, old men, old women … we’re in with them … a parade … they’re not sad, I’d even say cheerful … okay! off we go … we haven’t attracted any attention, me, Lili, and the cat … we’re part of the crowd … they knew what they were talking about … I can see there aren’t many houses standing … more? or less than in Berlin? the same, I’d say, but hotter, more flames, whirls of flame, higher … dancing … green … pink … between the walls … I’d never seen flames like that … they must be using a different kind of incendiary gook … the funny part of it was that on top of every caved-in building, every rubble heap, these green and pink flames were dancing around … and around … and shooting up at the sky! … those streets of green … pink … and red rubble … you can’t deny it … looked a lot more cheerful … a carnival of flames … than in their normal condition … gloomy sourpuss bricks … it took chaos to liven them up … an earthquake … a conflagration with the Apocalypse coming out of it! the “fortresses” must have been here … and not just once … two times! … three times! … complete destruction was their idea … it had taken them more than a month, hundreds of them passing over, dropping tons and tons day and night … there really wasn’t a thing standing … nothing but fires and scraps of wall … all the ex-buildings were still full of soot and flames … and little explosions … I’ve told you enough about smells … always about the same … Berlin, Oddort, and here … charred beams, roasted meat … the whole crowd of us were walking arm in arm in the middle of the st
reet … headed for that station … they seemed to know where it was … the day was breaking … lucky there were no houses left … I mean nothing left to clobber … the swirls of flame were like pink and violet ghosts … on top of every house … thousands of houses! … it was getting lighter … I’ve told you: not a single inhabitable house! … wrong again! over there! … no! people standing stiff against the walls! … there! now we can really see them … a man! … we stop, we go over, we touch him … he’s a soldier! … and another one … a whole string! … leaning against the wall … stiff! … killed right there! by the blast! … we’d seen it in Berlin … instant mummies! … they’ve got their hand grenades on them, in their belts … they’re still dangerous! if they’re armed … bam! … if they collapse on those grenades! Vorsicht! careful! … we take our hands away … the other side of the street, another patch of wall … more of them … more frozen soldiers … one thing’s sure, they didn’t have time to let out a peep … caught right there … bomb blast! … I’d forgotten one detail, now that I get a good look at them, they’re all in “chameleon” camouflage! … stone dead! … we’d better steer clear of them and move on … but that station? … I wish we were there … hey, here it is! it isn’t standing stiff by the roadside! … it’s gone! … a whole bombload! … it’s flown away! the whole station! no wreckage … nothing left but the platforms … three or four … must have been a big station … Hanover-South … our friends seem to know … but this isn’t the end … now we’ve got to get through the city and find Hanover-North, on the other side … oh, I’ve forgotten the main thing! … the crowd! not just on the platforms, on the tracks, sitting, lying down … they’re talking … I hear English … English? … I see them … some women and a man, English civilians … what are they doing here? … parachutists? … I go over and get acquainted … no! … they’re landowners … three women and a man, the man’s paralyzed … in wartime you keep running into cripples! they’re looking for the British Army, they think they’ll find it between Hanover and Bremen … they had a radio there at home, in Brunswick it seems, their estate … enormous … enormous … a horse farm … riding horses and work horses … and naturally they’d raised feed, plus alfalfa and colza … and the Nazis left them alone? … I ask them … certainly! they’d only asked them to give courses in English, especially conversation … oh, they’d had fine pupils, conscientious … this paralytic, I could see, was in worse shape than von Leiden Junior … maybe you remember him … in Zornhof … but he wasn’t delirious or vicious, not at all! … a courteous, reasonable cripple … how had they brought him this far? … from Brunswick to Hanover? … by “shuttles” … taken them two weeks … like us from Rostock … this “shuttle” traffic went on for almost two years … about ten raids on Hamburg before they surrendered … now it was time to get moving … these Britishers, especially with their cripple, couldn’t see themselves hiking through Hanover and its red and yellow streets … furnaces all the way … I’ve told you they weren’t the only ones, the platforms and tracks were full of people wanting to get through Hanover and go north … people really from all over the place … somebody hears me talking to Lili … an old Italian … old? well, about my age now … he tells us, he’s only got one thing on his mind, to get back to “da boss!” , . . he’s just come back from Italy, he’d gone to see his family, his four children … and he’s late! … a week late! … chickenshit at the border … where is this boss? … a brickyard in Brandenburg … a long way! … first he’s got to go north to Hamburg … and then south! he’s looking for a shuttle! I didn’t want to discourage him … he’d worked in France, Toulouse and Narbonne … always in brickyards! now, under the circumstances, it was Brandenburg … the only drawback, he was late … it wasn’t his fault … the Italian border … he shows me his papers, he had them all! all the stamps and visas and photographs … so what was the trouble? too many papers! this pocket, that pocket … and more in his musette bag! … it took an hour just to collect them, to put them in order … that’s war, spending all your time getting things stamped!
He acted it out for me! the stamping! this one, wham! … that one, plunk! … all day long! but what about us? … who were we? where’d we come from? …
“Down south … way south!”
And where were we going?
“Up north! … past Hamburg!”
“Boss?”
Yes! yes! … of course! … we had a boss too, up there! … and we were late too … just like him! … that went over … he understood … he wasn’t interested in the war … as far as he was concerned, the war was someplace else … his boss … that’s what mattered! … and being late! … a week! good reason to be furious! he grumbles, he listens to himself, a week they’d made him waste at the Italian border! … ah, but Lili? he looks at her … he thinks she’s looking peaked … a little tired, I tell him … yes, she’s pale! I agree … it’s the cold … of course … all these people on the platform around us, they know how to talk, but none of them thinks of making a fire … God knows there’s plenty of that … a hundred yards away, all the streets on the right and left, all Hanover, I think … tail ends of houses burning … you had to see it … every single house … in the middle … in between the ex-walls a flame … yellow … violet … spinning … whirling … and flying away! … up to the sky! … dancing … disappearing … starting up again … the soul of the house … a farandole of colors from the first rubble heaps as far as you could see … the whole city … red … blue … and violet … and smoke … this bricklayer’s idea was to make a fire for us right there … a little fire…
“My name is Felipe …”
Felipe’s stopped talking … he’s looking for a piece of wood … he finds one … on the platform right behind us … he takes out his knife, I can see he’s a real worker, no goof-off, it takes him two seconds, a little pile of shavings … looked like long matches … Felipe really knows his stuff … now what? Lili has an idea: tea! … she’s got some little bags of tea in her musette bag … but what about water? Felipe knows where … the end of our platform … we’ve got canvas buckets … and three tin cups … we’ve got everything! full camping equipment … actually we’d been at it since Baden-Baden, treks, shocks, countershocks, breathers! … and more to come! … promising outlook! … right now we’re going to have tea … the water’s coming to a boil … we can’t invite anybody, we’ve barely enough for the three of us! … but those cross-eyed looks! they think we’re pretty damned selfish … hell, I’m sure they don’t like tea! … Felipe doesn’t like tea either, he’s only joining us for the company … and besides, it’s hot! … he tells us what he likes … a leetla sunnashine … a leetla chiz … and a beeg chunka bread … white or black … either one … he has simple tastes … like us … but with him it’s coffee … not tea … I understand, I’d be glad to oblige … we’d had our last coffee in Rostock! not a drop since! … ah, our English friends are here again … the women and the cripple, they’ve done all the platforms trying to find some more Britishers … no! … they’re the only ones … they ask me what I think … their worry … the women … is how are they going to get through the whole of Hanover with their paralytic! … they can’t carry him, they need something to roll him on, and even then! … same problem as von Leiden Junior up there in Zornhof, the basket case … they’d chucked him in the manure … here they had the flames, the whole street, both sides as far as Hanover-North … we could see that station … these three devoted women, they’d have every opportunity and who’d have said a word? right here in Paris I’ve seen smellier things happen, me here in my own house, you think I’d say something? … there’s a time for everything! … when the “anything goes” hour strikes, you will keep your trap carefully shut … you’re being murdered? amen! the world has forgotten you? … you’re in luck! down on your knees, you pervert! … kick in patiently, abjectly! and give thanks! …
Suppose they’d chucked their paralytic in the fire … he woul
dn’t have been the only liquidée! … there must have been dozens tossed out of every house, bothersome grandmothers, noisy brats … family roasts, so to speak …
“Have you seen any stationmen?”
I ask … yes! … they’re on the third platform … I’m thinking about us, our junk … quite a pile we’ve been lugging around, we want for nothing, complete equipment, dishes, cups, knives, rice, flour … but that whole street as far as the station? … I’m thinking about a luggage truck … I see some that aren’t being used … with a lot of people piled on them asleep, maybe stationmen … third platform? … I go to the biggest tallest raspberry cap … I know their hierarchy … I’ve got my little idea, always the same: a hundred marks! … before opening my mouth … it’s not a stationmistress like in Ulm, this one has a pepper-and-salt beard, I dive in, big handshake, my hundred marks, my explanation … I tell him what I want, I don’t waste any time, I ask him to give us a hand truck, lend it to us to take our stuff to the other station, Hanover-North … we’re all in … we’re sick, my wife and me and our Italian friend … and we have to take the train to Hamburg … he’s willing … only one objection: who’s going to bring it back? … I’d foreseen that … I had another hundred marks already folded the same way! … that does it … he whispers in my ear: “I’ll go get it”! I don’t believe him … I don’t think he gives a shit about his truck or anything else … with his whole station gone … blasted away! … nothing left but the four platforms … I look around … and all this sleeping, snoring flesh … families, even on the tracks … ah, no, mistake, they’re moving! … they’re waking up! … it must be seeing the two of us talking to the Stationmaster … they’d been so pooped they weren’t even hungry … but now they’re sitting up! they want to know what’s going on! you never saw such curiosity! … and the Englishman and his three women … they had a few ideas too! … they motioned to me: us! us! usl … anyway, the Stationmaster was willing, we could take a truck, he’d lend it to us … oh, no need to go get it, they must have heard us, there was a whole army of them, at least fifty, around one of the trucks, they’d already loaded their stuff, sacks, musette bags, bottles, alcohol lamps, and way up top, enthroned so to speak, strapped and corded, the English cripple … looked like Mardi Gras … ‘sbodkins … they’d sure been quick! the three of us had only to stow our stuff somewhere … anywhere … in with their magma, and let’s go! …as long as they don’t lose us! … they were in a hurry now! … Le Vig could have helped us … no! Lili and I were tougher than he was, we could take more … tired or not, we popped Bébert into his bag … they didn’t lose us … they certainly meant to … even sprawled all over the platforms … that was their only thought! … maybe it sounds cockeyed, but to this day, from Moscow to Buenos Aires, from rue Brottin° to Broadway, they wake up in a sweat at the thought that we’re still alive …
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