He halted the horses. “Agreed. But patience please, I want to help you down.”
“Hurry Andrew!”
He shook his head at her girlish anticipation. Only when she placed gloved hands upon his sturdy shoulders did he ease her to level ground. He also kept her in close proximity, publicly teasing her and leaned in for a kiss. Embarrassed to be within sight of so many people, she gave him a quick peck and squirmed away. One thing she loved about Andrew was the tender passion he held for her, and the overflowing amount of love he blessed her with. For certain, she was the lucky one.
She entered the hotel and found Lacey scrubbing tables in the restaurant. “Need some help tonight?”
Lacey whirled around. “Cameron!”
They nearly crashed into each other, hugging and unleashing cries of joy.
Her husband moved himself out of harm’s way. “My mother sends her greetings to you,” he said impishly.
Lacey cocked her head to one side. “She did, did she? And did she try to keep you and your new wife there in the better, less sinful part of the world?”
Cameron answered on his behalf. “It doesn’t matter if she did. We’re here, aren’t we? This is our home.”
Lacey clucked her tongue. “Our Cameron, always trying to make peace with everybody—that’s what I love about you so much. It’s good to have you back.”
Cameron’s eyes swept around the familiar restaurant. She would miss working with Lacey. Her heart had been filled with many memories, some she was fond of, others she would do well to forget. She hadn’t realized her husband might be doing likewise, and brought her gaze to his face.
Lacey was telling her, “While you were away, I had your belongings put into your new home.”
She blushed. “How kind of you to ready my things at Andrew’s.”
“It’s ours, Cameron, not mine.”
“I’ll get some coffee.” Lacey excused herself.
“No need,” Andrew said. “We have rounds to make.”
Lacey’s face fell and Cameron looked apologetically at her. The visit had been absurdly brief. Mother Grace’s voice flashed through her mind, recalling her lesson prior to marriage about honoring her husband. This was a new concept to say the least. Putting aside her will for the moment, she said softy, “I’ll come by soon for that coffee.”
“Pending the weather, I won’t risk you traveling in the snow,” said her husband. She wondered what had gotten into him.
Cameron saw Lacey’s petite frame stiffen.
“I suppose I’ll see you when your husband finds the time for you.” Lacey turned away and left the two standing there to leave on their own accord. Cameron was silent. It was beyond her understanding why they came here in the first place if he meant for this reunion to be but mere minutes. It was almost as if he were hurrying her away from the hotel.
They passed by the rowdy saloon on their way to the door. Familiar sounds and smells emanated from the darkened room, bringing many memories to Cameron, along with thoughts and longings she didn’t think she should have as a preacher’s wife. It had been silly to assume temptation would wash away once she married Andrew. Out of nowhere she got a glimpse of her past with Jake. The night he’d shared about his sister had been the moment she thought she fell in love with him. A moment of anxiety grabbed hold of her with the fresh memory. There was no way she’d go back to the way she was. She was beyond blessed at how her life had changed since stepping foot in Lincoln County.
“Cameron? Are you coming?”
She looked upon Andrew’s face. He had a worry line etched on his forehead, and more than ever, she was grateful he could not read her thoughts. If he could, he’d be most disappointed. He needn’t worry. She would never give him cause to doubt her love and was determined to be a worthy Mrs. Jackson.
Chapter Four
Andrew had kept his wife to himself over the last several days as much as he could. He hadn’t been prepared for the onslaught of memories he faced at the hotel and had clearly reacted poorly and with regret. The only way he knew to make it up to both women was to give in to Cameron’s pleas. They would go to Lacey’s for dinner. He had been selfish with her, and if he would admit it, the thought of her seeing Jake made him ill with concern. Why wasn’t he secure in the love she had for him? Their bond could not be broken by contact with his friend. He was being irrational, and besides, with him at her side, what could possibly happen?
There had to be trust and he prayed that it would be sealed about them, with nothing to separate it.
“I’m looking forward to spending this evening with you.” He kissed her forehead and held her in his arms.
She reciprocated and he wondered at his foolish thinking. She’d never do anything to hurt him, and even if she did, God was able to restore anything.
Holding hands, they walked to the barn for the buggy. He wrapped her good and warm in blankets, complete with a heated brick at her feet.
When they arrived, Andrew retrieved Cameron’s cloak and set it upon the coat rack. Assuming she’d left his side, he was surprised to run into her solid stance. “What’s the matt…?”
Then he, too, saw Jake. The silence was incredible. He could practically hear Cameron’s erratic heartbeat. He thought he had satisfactorily rehearsed what he would do in this situation—a face to face with Jake Collins. But he was at a loss for words. Moreover, so was Jake.
He did not want things to be awkward, and thankfully, his wife extended her hand, breaking the silence. “It’s so good to see you.”
“I can say the same.” Briefly, Jake accepted her hand.
Andrew wanted to be done struggling with their past relationship. He was her husband with nothing to fear. Trust and forgiveness, he reminded himself.
Jake shrugged on his coat.
“You’re leaving?” Cameron asked.
“I was on my way out—leaving town for a bit.”
“Surely you can stay on a little while, we’ve only just returned.”
Andrew wanted to know what on earth Cameron was doing. Jake looked like he’d rather be anywhere but there and yet she was pushing this everyone-be-together-as-before nonsense. It would never be like that again. She must accept it.
He watched Jake work his struggle out, almost feeling sorry for him. Until he saw Jake reconsidering. He couldn’t blame him, she was hard to say no to.
She rested her hand on his forearm. “Please, Jake, sit with us. Let’s visit.”
Jake’s eyes took in his wife’s touch. Andrew’s stomach tightened.
It was time to intercede on all their behalves. “He’s on his way out, Cameron.”
Jake looked roughly upon him. Andrew waited. So this is what a standoff was? Minus the guns of course. He was not a jealous husband, but naturally he didn’t like what Cameron and Jake once shared. Jake had to understand that and he would hold his ground in this. He did not want Jake to share time with them, not yet anyway.
Finally and blessedly, Jake responded, “Like I said, I’m leaving town for a bit.”
As he strode by them Cameron called out, “When will you return? It’s almost Christmas.”
Andrew could not believe her persistence. As Jake turned back, he saw his countenance. The situation was difficult for him and his own wife wasn’t helping.
Jake stared at Cameron until Andrew wished he’d stop.
“I’ll return when I return. I don’t owe nobody an explanation or a time table.” He then hardened his gaze and looked at Andrew. “Congratulations on your nuptials.”
*** *** ***
Witnessing the back of Jake walking away brought a pang of remorse to Cameron. So badly, she needed everything to be as before. It was important they seek peace with each other over her decision to marry Andrew. But she had to ask herself, was she responsible for his new demeanor? He did not look healthy, was practically skin and bones. Every emotion crossing his face in the short time he stood in front of her cried bitterness. He looked intimidating and… mean. She
couldn’t bear it if she were to blame. She reached into the last memories she had of Jake. Hadn’t they agreed they didn’t care for each other, that too much had happened between them? She was desperate for clarity and was about to pursue Jake when Andrew cleared his throat, interrupting her ponderings.
Upon seeing the look of confusion and possibly hurt on his countenance, she realized she might have been out of line. The blow of what had just happened hit her—she could not fight for a friendship with Jake. It would be inappropriate. They must think her naïve. Still, the knowledge broke her spirit. Genuinely she loved Andrew, never thought she could love anybody so much. Yet she cared deeply for Jake. There was something about him and she knew he was to be in their lives somehow, for some reason—but with this muddled situation going on, she couldn’t grasp it.
Andrew sighed with what she imagined as relief when she took the crook of his arm and ushered him into the restaurant. As she did, fear settled within her core that she needed to prove her love to him. She refused to be the cause of anyone’s pain.
Although she’d planned on biding more time, it was crucial that she tell him her secret. Tonight.
*** *** ***
After the evening was over, across town and fields away, Cameron climbed into bed beside her husband. She positioned herself to her side, facing him, and could tell by his heavy breathing he’d already fallen asleep.
Carefully, she caressed his cheek. “Andrew.”
He mumbled, though his eyes remained closed.
With a smile and light breath on his face she whispered, “You’re going to be a good father.”
“Someday.” He stirred slightly, rolling away.
She paused, grinning with joy until it settled with him.
Miraculously he became alert and awake, blinking fiercely.
“Really?”
She nodded fervently. “It’s true.”
He sat up in bed, pulling her to him and kissing her long and hard. His palms grasped her cheeks.
“God is good, Cameron Jackson.”
To know she was able to bring happiness to Andrew brought reprieve. But the nagging feeling she’d let him down someday was still resident within and she did not know how to make it vacate and leave her alone.
Chapter Five
The New Year was passing Lincoln County uneventfully. Winter had not been harsh, adding worry, apprehension and misgivings to what would be in store for the town. Nothing ever remained sedate or at peace for long. Few families risked traveling in the snow, even if it did look blissful and pleasant. Not many dared challenge the deceptive calm—not in Kansas. Except for church it seemed. Andrew assured Cameron that folks would travel for a Sunday meeting, so she spent her beginning moments in the building going over hymns that would be sung. She was surprised at the many families who arrived, despite the town’s long-time suspicion of the weather. She glanced at the entrance of the church where Andrew was greeting the town’s new doctor. Dr. Grover had taken the place of Doc Colvin during their trip back East. Cameron wasn’t convinced she liked him quite yet. Of course Doc Colvin deserved to retire, but selfishly, she’d wanted him to be looking after her and the baby.
Dutifully, she made her way next to Andrew as he’d beckoned her. She sighed and raised a smile to Dr. Grover. “Thank you for joining us today.”
He took her hand, which she did not offer, to his lips. “Mrs. Jackson, so good to see you. I wouldn’t miss a church meeting for the world.”
Feeling ornery she asked, “Perhaps you would if someone were dying, or having a baby? Surely, God would understand your absence.”
He looked bewildered a moment before seeking her husband out and graciously making light of her jest. “Reverend, you’ve a spitfire of a wife. I should be so lucky to acquire one myself someday.”
“Yes. She is at that.” Andrew ground out.
When the doctor took his seat in a pew, her husband raised an eyebrow.
“I’ve another hymn to select for Mary. She’s already at the organ awaiting.”
On the way back to Mary, Cameron repented for her lack of Christian hospitality—sure God would want her heart in order before she worshipped. She only wished she knew what had gotten into her.
The moment the last parishioner departed, Cameron waited impatiently for Andrew to lock up and help her into the buggy. Since they were already out and about, they were going to town!
Once in the buggy, she scooted close to him, remorse began to fill her for not representing him well, but he did not refer to it. So neither did she.
“I’m going to the mercantile.” Andrew pulled the buggy in front of Lacey’s Place. “Go on now, I know you’re aching to tell her.”
Cameron smacked a loud kiss on his cold cheek and allowed him to remove her from the seat. “Thank you!”
He smiled wide. “Anything for you.”
She made her way into the hotel, and when she did not find Lacey on the main floor, she took the stairs and found her in the bedroom.
Lacey was going through letters and she joined her atop the bed.
“You have customers in the restaurant. Why aren’t you downstairs?”
“Patsy is handling it.”
“Oh… I didn’t see her.”
She couldn’t shake the feeling of a rift between them, although she had no idea what it could be. She would need to fish around until Lacey shared what was bothering her. “I wish traveling were easier. I would come more often if that were the case. Andrew does not like me to come to town without him.”
Lacey’s eyes narrowed at the mention of Andrew. “You can’t come to town without him?”
“He would worry. He’s not convinced it’s safe for me to travel alone and there could be a snowstorm any moment.”
“As if I don’t know that,” she snapped.
“All right…” She sighed. “Tell me what I’ve done.”
Lacey threw it right at her. “Have you seen Jake lately?”
She weighed her response. Could she trust Lacey with her most private thoughts? She believed so but getting it out was proving difficult. To say the words out loud could cast her in a negative light.
Gently she answered, “I’ve not seen him but the one time.”
“He’s a bounty hunter of all things! I fear for his life.”
Did she blame her? Did he?
“I know.”
“There’s nothing I can do about it. Our friendship isn’t the same as it once was.”
Every word Lacey spoke held accusation. Indeed, she did blame her.
“I want nothing more than for all four of us to be friends again. You’ve got to know that.” Cameron finally broke down, covering her face between her hands. “I don’t know what to do,” she cried.
At once, Lacey softened. “I shouldn’t say those things. It’s not your fault.”
“But it is my fault. I’ve ruined everything!”
“Shush! You can’t speak like that. If you do, it sounds as though Andrew isn’t worth it. Surely that is not the case?” Lacey prodded.
“Oh, no, I didn’t mean… I mean, why can’t I have it both ways?”
“Because you chose. You can’t have Jake in your life anymore, not the way you want him to be, not even as a friend. The line has already been crossed, there is no pretending it wasn’t.”
She sniffled. “I was a fool to think so wasn’t I?”
“No, you were hopeful. There’s a difference.”
“And you are upset with me.”
Lacey relented and offered a handkerchief. “I’m not. I spoke out of sadness, but I’m no longer upset. In fact, I’m pleased that you married my cousin.”
Cameron accepted Lacey’s comforting words and wiped away tears. Despite Lacey’s assurance, she knew she’d made a mess of things, but she wouldn’t trade her decision to be Andrew’s wife, not for anything.
She remembered why she came. “I am here to tell you something.”
“Well, do tell!”
“We�
�re having a baby come summer.”
“We’re having a baby?”
Cameron laughed. “Yes, we are. All three of us.”
“We need to celebrate!”
“We cannot make a party out of this announcement—everyone has babies.”
Lacey locked her hands in front of her chest in excitement, waiting for her to agree.
Cameron knew she could not dissuade her. Lacey would do what she wanted to anyway, and maybe this would be an opportune time to put things behind them. “I will help.”
“Splendid! We’re going to have a winter dance!”
*** *** ***
Like a coward, Jake ducked into the alley by the bank. He was about to get himself a meal at Lacey’s when he saw Andrew assist his wife into their buggy. He couldn’t avoid them forever but he deserved a meal now and then, blast it! He watched Cameron’s head go back slightly, pleasantly greeting her husband. What a sight. Only when they were out of his view, did he make his way to the hotel. He pulled up his collar against the cold just as snowflakes began to alight on the ground.
Lacey greeted him and he could swear she looked nervous, knowing the Jacksons just left her place. Or was it relief that he’d missed them? He stomped snow from his boots, deciding best not to question her emotions either way. “It’s not going to be good traveling out there after long,” he said with a shiver. “I’m afraid I could be stuck here for the night.”
“I have one room left.”
“Sign me up for it,” he ordered and headed for an open gambling table, wading through strong smells of smoke and cheap perfume. Lacey followed and plopped herself down in the chair recently vacated by a cowhand. And Lacey, darn it all, had an unfortunate tendency to ramble on when alcohol loosened her tongue. So when she announced that the Jacksons were expecting a child, he was gripped with something unspeakable—jealousy.
She giggled at her blunder before shifting an anxious gaze towards him, catching her mistake.
He lifted his glass as a toast. “I’ll have to congratulate them when I see them.”
She looked downcast. “I… uhhh.”
“Leave it alone.”
Lincoln County Series 1-3 Page 13