Jake’s gaze went to Amy and a strange feeling of compassion formed. “Excuse me, but what do you mean by stage elements?”
Amy answered, looking pleased to have him enter their conversation. “A manger, a cradle for baby Jesus, things of that nature.”
“Why don’t I help?”
A look of bashfulness passed between the two, making it clear they were misunderstanding his intentions. But Amy seized the opportunity. “Since I don’t have a part, why don’t we volunteer together?”
Jake had a sinking feeling at the meaning of his commitment, but he wanted to help Cameron create a quality stage. After their last encounter, he didn’t wish to cause her any more distress. He looked at Amy and decided to take the gamble, “I can’t have Cam… Mrs. Jackson know that I am assisting.”
He could see the secret intrigued her. She instantly displayed more excitement than he was comfortable with. But he needed to contribute and this could be the only way. “We won’t have to worry ourselves with that. I will do all communicating with Mrs. Jackson.”
“Fair enough. Tell her you have it all under control, and then come tell me what all I need to build.”
“Next!”
Chapter Eighteen
Amy Swanson had finally ceased flirting with Jake and he was grateful for that. It had been a challenge remaining as kind as possible, yet blatantly avoiding her attentions. He gave her credit for having some common sense and heeding. He had no intention of getting involved with anyone. He was still working things out between him and God. His heart was softening, but according to Jake, they still had some business to tend to before he’d planned on fully surrendering.
They both stood back to admire their work. In only a few weeks they had completed the project. Amy sighed. “You should hear Mrs. Jackson! I believe she’s nervous about what I am coming up with.” She nudged Jake playfully. “Little does she know, huh?”
He had to smile, considering the picture in his head of Cameron entrusting an entire production to Amy without taking part herself. He couldn’t wait to see her reaction. He felt somewhat let down. The only way he was going to see her response was if he delivered it personally. Unwilling to miss out, despite if she were still angry at him or not—it’d been months since they’d spoken—he was going to be there when she saw their work for the first time. He turned to his partner. “When is she expecting it?”
Amy grinned ear to ear. “I will set it up!” She knew by now that Jake was doing this not for the community, but for its preacher.
*** *** ***
Jake had to enlist a driver named Len from the livery to help load and deliver an entire set of stage props. Otherwise he would have had to make two trips and gamble missing Cameron’s response. He wouldn’t deny he hoped it’d bring about forgiveness for past orneriness where she was concerned, and he would admit it felt good to provide something for her and what she was passionate about. An over-excited Amy stood at the front door, awaiting their arrival. Puffs of smoky air escaped her mouth as she beckoned them. The cold was bitter, and with the play the next evening, a pinch of nervousness gripped him. What would happen if folks stayed home after all of Cameron’s hard work ensuring they got a Christmas play this year? He shoved the negativity aside and wondered how Cameron was to get there. It wouldn’t be a warm and comfortable drive for Drew. Frowning at the thought, he got down and directed Len to unload.
Amy unwound the scarf from her face. “So glad you made it! She’s going to be here in an hour!”
She bounded up the steps and opened the doors. Jake halted at the bottom, hesitating. Anticipation overwhelmed him and he had a feeling once he committed himself to be a part of this there would be no going back. Either their friendship would pick up where it left off, or it wouldn’t.
From somewhere inside Amy said anxiously, “We better hurry!”
Now was the time to turn back and Cameron would be none the wiser. If he stayed, it would show he was willing to invest in the church, and that was making a big declaration. The old desire of leaving was cropping up and for a split second he entertained it. The words he spoke to Stephen Palmer smacked him in the face—he was done running. “So be it,” he murmured and made his way to unload the wagons.
*** *** ***
With only minutes to spare the trio had the entire stage, props and all, set up awaiting the preacher’s arrival. When Cameron walked in Jake was tidying up the hay that had spilled on the side of the makeshift stage. So when she arrived he was out of sight and heard her exclaim to Amy and Len, “My goodness! You two have outdone yourselves.” Jake peeked up enough to watch her look at Amy in amazement. “You are wonderful. How did you do all of this? It’s beautiful and much more than I expected.”
“It was not all me. Jake?” Amy called out. “Jake, where are you?”
He rose slowly from his position, although it had been tempting as all get out to stay hidden away. Cameron’s elation had placed a beauty upon her face that he thought forgotten. She stared at his presence in awe.
“Jake?”
Saying his name the way Cameron said it seemed to sum up all of her questions in one word.
He stepped closer and attempted to ignore Amy and her giddy behavior. He barely made note that Len had dismissed himself. “I’m glad you are happy with it,” he said.
She continued to stare at him, perhaps to see if this was truly happening. He noticed Drew was absent of her. “Where’s Drew?”
Had she blushed just now?
“I… He’s with Aunt Lacey. We’ve been staying there until the play is over. With me coming back and forth so often in the cold it seemed the wisest.”
Amy continued to let her excitement invade. “Come! Let me show you the detail. Jake is quite the carpenter. We’ve been at this for weeks, keeping the surprise a secret.” And she took hold of Cameron’s hand, never ceasing in her chatter. Cameron threw a backwards, still puzzled glance at him while she was being led away.
He was finished securing everything in order and tending to his horses outside when Cameron approached, shivering. “Thank you.”
He tied the tent flap down and said, “You’re welcome.”
“The parishioners will be blessed.” She held onto her next words a few moments. “Will you be joining us for the festivities?” Cameron looked at him intently.
“I hadn’t thought about it. But I reckon I would if you wanted me to.”
She smiled slightly. “She… Amy. She speaks highly of you.”
What was he supposed to say to that? He said nothing. He was ready to be on the road home, and it was clear that she sensed it. Cameron knew him so very well. About ready to climb into the buggy he remembered why all of this was done. “I wanted to say that I was sorry. For everything. It seems I’m always in the wrong where you and I are concerned and I hope this makes up for a portion of it.”
“I have already forgiven you for everything, Jake.” Her honeyed eyes searched his. “It’s you who needs to receive the forgiveness. You also need to forgive yourself. You’ve made it clear to me that you have put a lot of thought into proving yourself. Although appreciated it is not necessary with me.”
“Like I said, just wanted to help.” Why was the rough exterior going up? It was not what he wanted. Let it go, Jake.
She laid a hand on his forearm. “So I will save you a seat for the play. Afterwards, Lacey is hosting a dinner and I will tell her that you’ll be joining us.”
Amy stood watching from the top stair of the church. Cameron saw her and asked, “Should I extend the invitation to Amy as… your guest?”
Despite the freezing cold, Jake’s cheeks warmed. “No! I mean, she’s welcome to come but there’s no need for her to attend with me.”
“I will invite her as mine then. I wasn’t sure, with all of her talk about how wonderful you are and all.”
He was about to clear the facts on his relationship with Amy, and when he looked at Cameron to do so, he saw that she’d been teasing him. With re
newed hope that their friendship would indeed be restored, he chuckled. “A good day to you then, Cameron.”
“To you as well.”
Chapter Nineteen
Cameron sought out the families huddled together as they made their way outside after the play. With the increasingly cold weather, she’d been unsure of what the turnout was to be and had not been disappointed. She stood, as was her place, at the door sending out farewells and gratitude to parishioners. So many of them were impressed with the quality and naturally she gave full credit to the actors, to Jake and to Amy.
Penny came and delivered Drew into her arms. He cried and reached back towards Penny. Cameron laughed into the chubbiness of his cheek. “I’m afraid you’re stuck with me young man!” To Penny she said, “I’ll be seeing you and your ma soon?”
“Yes Mrs. Jackson. We’re all set to go if you don’t need anything else here.”
“Go on, I’ll be along soon.” As she said that she caught Jake lingering still, behind the last of families in the line out the front door. Her heart went out to him. She had attempted to keep herself distracted throughout the play, which wasn’t hard to do considering Drew played baby Jesus and hadn’t exactly made it easy for the actors. She shook her head. He was so attached to Penny, and in order to be on the stage, they’d had to make a spot for her within viewing distance of Drew.
She noticed, after the last good-bye, that Jake’s countenance was different. It did not appear so angry and dark. Even his eyes sparked a little bit of change. Was that hope? Just having him there lifted her spirits, and before she knew it, a feeling of self-consciousness came to her. It was scary and unfamiliar, not having had the urge to wonder of her appearance in such a long while. Nervous now, she adjusted Drew to her other hip as anxiousness at talking to Jake edged along her spine. Get a hold of yourself!
Deathly afraid he would notice her blatant discomfort she tried to speed things up and get to the safety of Lacey’s for supper. As he approached, she hurried her words. “Did you enjoy yourself tonight?”
Before answering, Jake tucked his index finger underneath Drew’s chin, and then his eyes met hers. “I did.”
She smiled. “You sound surprised at that.”
Jake looked around the building. “I suppose I am. I didn’t know what to expect. Folks are different here.”
Drew reached for Jake, and her breath caught at the sight of it. Did he want anyone besides his own mother? She was embarrassed at first, sure he wouldn’t want to hold the baby. Then he asked for her permission to do so. Her heart melted and nearly undid her entirely when Jake swooped Drew up as if he’d held babies all of his life. Her hand went to her breast in sincere awe and the feeling that erupted within her heart startled her.
She knew what he meant by different. Jake Collins was used to outlaws, saloons and loose women, not God-fearing church folk. She wanted to remedy any disillusion he might have, all the while adoring the sight before her eyes. “Different, yes. But that doesn’t mean perfect, none of us are. But we come together with the same purpose.”
He glanced at her, reminding her that aside from Drew, they were alone. He cleared his throat and handed her son back. “May I escort you to Lacey’s? I’m not thrilled that you would be traveling in the dark with Drew.”
She sensed his scolding, as that was exactly what she had planned to do. Although unsure she wanted to ride alongside him, she couldn’t decline—clearly he thought it unwise. “Let me get my wrap and his blankets.”
*** *** ***
Jake really was not happy that she would be so independent as to drive alone. He supposed this was normal for her but he couldn’t very well speak up his disapproval. What right did he have? He thought for a moment that she would challenge him and was grateful when she didn’t. Because he would not have allowed it. If this was typical of her, so be it, but not under his nose. After all of the lawlessness this town had experienced in the past? He frowned, wondering how he could arrange for safer travels for her and Drew. He took a sidelong glance at her after adjusting the two in the buggy and giddy upped the horses towards Lacey’s. Behind them they had Cameron’s horse tied to follow and would be left overnight at the livery. He would deliver her buggy on the morrow. She shivered and hugged Drew close until he reached her chin. She buried her nose in Drew’s blankets as Jake hurried the team forward.
The brief look he took of her profile stirred him. He could not fight his love for her. He did not have to show it, but he would no longer continue to deny it, even if it was kept to himself the rest of his days. What he didn’t look forward to was her giving her heart to another. As much as that would nearly kill him to witness, he would never leave her nor Drew’s side again. The condemnation that had tried so valiantly to stop him from keeping his word to Andrew had finally loosed its hold. And although he may not be able to fulfill it entirely, at least he was there for them, as Andrew would have wanted.
“He’s asleep.”
Jake turned to her voice and realized she’d been watching him. Grateful she was not a reader of thoughts, he looked down at Drew. “He had a big night.” Jake smiled.
*** *** ***
As they drew close to Lacey’s Place for the dinner celebration, Cameron noticed Lacey and Sheriff Randall in a discussion outside. Ever the gracious hostess, it was uncommon for Lacey to not be in the midst of her guests. Cameron shot a questioning look towards Jake, who knew Lacey as much as she. He halted the buggy, tied the horses and gently pulled her and the baby down. Cameron noticed Jake did not hold eye contact with her as he deposited her to the ground. With Drew in her arms, they made way to the entrance as Lacey peeled away from Ed, who did not look happy.
A lover’s spat.
Cameron wondered how the evening would be affected by this occurrence. Lacey’s painful look changed the second she laid eyes on them. She said most inappropriately, “Well don’t you three cut a fine picture.”
Mortified, Cameron sucked in a breath. Jake ignored Lacey’s jab and guided her and Drew inside. They all walked into the dining room where Penny promptly removed Drew from her aching arms. He was a hefty child. “Bless you Penny!” How did it seem that Penny could manage him with such ease?
Able to move freely now, she made her way to Lacey. “What was that about with Ed?”
“He asked me to marry him. For real this time.”
“What are you going to do?”
Lacey swept her delicate and jeweled hand over her brow and said bitterly, “Nothing. I’m already married.”
Chapter Twenty
For some reason, Lacey was giving Jake the cold shoulder as she served him breakfast. To the rest of the patrons, he noted, she was as cordial as could be. Although he wasn’t up to playing into her manipulation, he had to wonder what he’d done. Seeing her response to Ed the night before made him extra curious. And her blasted statement about the image they made walking into the place hadn’t brought much compassion for her during the festivities. He’d heard Cameron’s intake of breath, aghast at the thought, he was sure. During the transaction, he’d caught a glimpse of redness coloring her cheeks at the shock of Lacey’s words. He hadn’t given Lacey much attention after that. Embarrassed for Cameron is what he was.
Now as he watched her friendliness, faux or not, being lavished upon others save him, he was going to find out what her problem was where he was concerned. He chugged down the rest of his coffee, then signaled her for a refill. Short of rebuffing him, she finally made her way over.
While she poured he became resigned. “All right. What have I done?”
Eyeing him with disgust, she said, “You don’t want to hear what I have to say to you, Jake.”
Feeling humorous over her dramatics he insisted that he did. “I can’t fix whatever I’ve done.”
In haste, she sat across from him.
He surrendered. “Why don’t you join me?”
“Oooooh you are infuriating!”
Valiantly, he tried not to smile. This was
ridiculous. Casually he took a sip of the hot liquid and looked at her expectantly.
She planted the copper pot onto the tabletop. “Ed asked me to marry him and as you know, I cannot.”
He shrugged, then judging by her look, realized how callous that may have been. “What’s that got to do with me?” Truly, he was puzzled.
“You are daft. I can’t have what I want… but you can.”
This was not the direction he cared to be going in. Losing his casual manner, he stiffened as she continued. “You’d better go and get her, Jake. Stop trying to be careful and polite or you might lose your chance to. And that--” she thrust her chin forward “--would only cause for greater problems in the future… for both of you.”
“I don’t know.”
“Stop it, Jake! I’m telling you, the both of you are meant to be together. If you lose her again, her heart will only pine after you. And if you love her, you’ll do something now and save everybody from the heartache to come if you don’t.”
“Hey Lacey!” Someone called her for service. She glanced back at them. “Coming!” Abruptly she rose and left him to mull around her ruthless words.
*** *** ***
Deciding to focus on the monthly logs at work, Jake entered the Gun Shop and sat behind his desk. After some time, the numbers refused to cooperate with his mind so he slammed the logbook shut. For a moment he felt like praying, but with the lack of knowing exactly how to do so he just sat there, shaken.
He closed his eyes and pulled from his memories on Andrew when he prayed. He made it seem so easy. Thinking further on this, he began to realize that it didn’t need to be all that complicated. Andrew was only speaking normally. Although the words spoken out loud in the quiet of his office made Jake feel foolish, he did it all the same. Getting past the embarrassment, he said one word after another until it felt somewhat natural and became simple. At a much greater peace than he’d ever experienced, he asked God outright what to do about the Jackson family. Not getting a direct answer did not deter him for doing next what he felt the past several months had been preparing him for, and he set off to pay Cameron a visit.
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