Natalie and I, on the other hand, have grown into good friends. In fact, I feel like I know more about her than I do half of the girls I grew up with in Basin Lake. She’s been an amazing study partner and an easy, interactive listener, and even though I know she’s still hoping for a shot at Evan, I try to push aside the feelings of jealousy her interest inspires in me. In fact, there are days when I’m so exasperated by the distance between Evan and I that I’m tempted to encourage her to make a real play for him. At least then I might know if he still wishes he and I could be together or if he’s ready to just move on. Afraid of the answer, I keep my mouth shut.
Natalie and I talk a lot about our families back home, and she’s one of the few people I’ve felt comfortable talking to about my Dad’s death.
“What was it he had again?” she asks me one day.
“Primary progressive multiple sclerosis,” I say. “He was diagnosed when I was six, and four years later he died from complications… pneumonia. He had it bad, like the worst kind of MS you can get.”
“That’s so awful,” Natalie says. “Especially losing your dad when you were so young.”
“We have these home movies,” I say, comfortable reminiscing around her, “and I’m so thankful for those because sometimes you forget. You just do. It’s been almost nine years now.”
“God, of course… yeah, I had this aunt who died in a car accident, and I could barely remember her until one of my cousins showed me this really old video of her and I. She was pulling me and my cousin in a red wagon and singing to us, and then that memory just suddenly repopulated in my brain, like seriously crazy!”
I agree, and we end up talking about my dad and her aunt for the better part of half an hour before our discussion returns to the present.
“And what about Evan?” Natalie bites down on her pen—it’s just something she seems to do. “Didn’t you say he has a weird family situation?”
Thinking about what Evan said about Lexi and not wanting to divulge her secrets, it doesn’t feel right to say much about his family either. I keep it simple. “Divorced,” I say. “So, his dad lives here, and his mom is back in Basin Lake. She’s remarried.”
She tilts her head like she’s heard the same story many times before. “And yet my parents who can be complete assholes to each other are still together. Doesn’t seem quite fair, does it?”
“I’m beginning to realize life itself isn’t very fair,” I say, having thought that losing my dad would be the worst thing to ever happen to me, that I’d never have to worry about feeling hurt like that again. Except now I do, even if I try to hide it or bury it, I hurt because my heart feels like it’s being torn in two.
We ease back into our study session, and I try to take my mind off of things, not so easy when you’re studying economics and statistics. I’m really feeling useless and like I should probably pack things up when I notice Natalie tapping her pen.
She looks relieved that I’ve pulled my head out of my laptop and stops the tapping. “It’s a gorgeous day outside,” she says, “Low humidity. Cool air. Sunny skies. We’d basically be wasting all of that just sitting here.”
“So what do you suggest?” I’m not sure I’m in the mood for anything besides a long run to attempt to clear my head all over again.
“Let’s do what college people do and head out to the quad, soak up some rays and get a little bit of eye candy while we’re at it.”
There’s a bit of mischief in her eyes, and I figure she must see something out the window that faces the quad. “Sure,” I say, gathering my things up and following her out.
It’s just as humid as it was earlier, but it’s at least sunny, and I am dressed for the weather with shorts, a blouse and sandals. It becomes pretty immediately apparent why she brought us out here.
Evan, Jason, Marvin and a couple other guys are all playing Frisbee on the thick, green grass. Half of them, including Evan, are shirtless—not a shocker.
“Now that’s what I like to see.” Natalie drops her book bag on the ground, sitting down and stretching her legs out.
I sit down next to her on the warm grass, even if I don’t want to be here. Somehow, I feel like I’m spying on Evan as I stretch my legs out beside Natalie’s.
“What’s Evan been up to lately?” she asks.
I sigh in response. Hadn’t we already discussed Evan enough earlier?
“Paige?”
“Just this and that,” I say. “As far as I know, he’s doing good, but like I said, things are kind of tense.”
“It will all work out,” she says with a reassuring voice. “I mean, you’ve talked a lot about Garrett in the last month, so you’ve got that.”
I can tell by the way she says it that she’s still not convinced Garrett and I are couple material, and I think that must be the mark of a true friend. Someone lesser would be convincing me Garrett was my prince charming to decrease the chance Evan and I might get beyond just being friends.
Evan. He notices us from a distance after he’s made a throw, putting his hand up, acknowledging us before returning to his game. Marvin and Jason do the same.
“What did you mean about Garrett?” I ask Natalie who waves back at Evan even though he’s turned away.
“Hmm?” Her eyes continue to linger in his direction.
“Do I really talk about Garrett a lot?” In truth, I tend to think I barely mention him except when someone asks me if I have a boyfriend or not.
She shrugs. “You just said the other day how much you miss him and wish he was here so you could go on long, romantic walks together.”
“I don’t think I said anything about it being romantic.”
“Perhaps you implied it with your tone?” She winks at me.
“I don’t know, I mean, of course I miss him, and video chatting gets kind of old—it would just be nice to see him in person, especially when Evan is off with his friends and I’m at the apartment by myself.”
“So, he’s just a fill in for Evan?” She gives me a hard look.
“No, no… that’s not it.”
But is it?
“I’m just teasing,” she says. “Believe me, I get it. I mean, not getting any while your boyfriend is on the other side of the country will make you all kinds of lonely.”
“Oh,” is all I say.
Natalie had her sunglasses up to her face, just about to slide them over the bridge of her nose, but she stops herself and looks me dead in the eyes. “Did you and Garrett never do the deed either?”
The way she’s staring at me makes me feel like cornered prey, and I’d like nothing more than to get up and run. “Garrett and I just got together at the end of the school year, so no, we never did it,” I say defensively.
“Okay,” she says, like she’s willing me to calm down. “I mean, personally, I don’t think I could make it all that long without sex—there’s just no way.” She looks back out at Evan and his friends as if to accentuate this point.
In all the things that Natalie and I have talked about in the last month, we strangely hadn’t gotten to our sex lives… or the lack of them. She told me about her high school boyfriends, filling her stories with innuendos, but I never felt quite right about asking her if she’d actually had sex with any of them, and perhaps she just assumed I was as experienced as were a lot of the girls my age.
“Yeah, well… I’m still a virgin, so there’s that,” I confess.
She takes a moment to digest this information. “I’m not totally shocked, but I would be shocked if nobody ever tried to get into your pants.”
“Remember my ex-boyfriend was gay, right?”
“Oh, yeah.” she laughs a little. “How in the world did you handle going out with a guy for five years and never having sex with him? It’s been two weeks for me, and I feel like I could burst.”
Natalie just keeps surprising me. “You’ve slept with someone here? In town?”
“Just a casual hookup,” she says. “But you’re avoiding the ques
tion.”
“I’m not,” I say. “I just didn’t think of you as someone who’d…”
She points her chin forward, awaiting my next words.
“Well, I mean, I know you like guys,” I say, embarrassed. “I just figured you’d want to be in a relationship with someone before—” I stop suddenly, a vision coming to my mind. What if her hookup was with someone she knew. What if it was with Evan?
“Cat got your tongue?”
“It wasn’t with—” God, I can’t even say his name. I feel sick at even the thought that he might have slept with her.
“Evan?” She reads my mind, shakes her head and laughs it off. “I am interested in him… really interested, Paige—you know that—but I wouldn’t hook up with your friend just for sex, especially when I know you’re conflicted.”
“I’m not conflicted,” I say without pause, even if I totally am.
Natalie turns toward me like she doesn’t quite believe me. “You sure about that?”
I eye Evan. He’s so strong and muscular and remains the cutest guy in Well’s Creek, at least in my eyes. I’m not going to admit to that though, and I tell her what I think is the right thing to say. “I’m sure, Natalie. I want him to be happy with someone.”
That part is true. I don’t want to jerk Evan around and ignore the times he’s told me that his feelings go beyond just friendship, but I seem unable to give him back what he needs or to be honest enough to tell him I feel the same way. No wonder he decided to clam up on me again. So, if Evan has to end up with someone else, then it should be with someone nice. And Natalie fits the criteria, doesn’t she?
“Hey, Nat.” A girl in a strapless, long flowered dress is looming above us, saving me from having to say another word about Evan.
“Oh, hey, Cara! Have you met my friend, Paige, yet?”
“I don’t think so… hey Paige,” Cara says in the same Southern drawl Natalie has.
“Hey,” I wave.
“So, what’s up, girly?” Natalie pats the grass next to her, and Cara sits down.
“Just planning a last minute bash this weekend. It’s going to be beyond epic. I just need enough people to show.”
“Oh, yeah? Please tell me it’s not going to be in a foreclosed house with no running water or toilets like last time.”
I can’t help but laugh at that, and Natalie just nods at me like whatever the worst thing I could imagine about that particular scenario is exactly what happened.
“Oh, god no. It’s at the old Silver Springs mansion. You know, it’s being renovated? So all the furniture’s been moved out, and I know this guy at the events company who owns it. He’s letting me and a few other people rent it out for the night, you know, since there won’t be any furniture to destroy.” Cara and Natalie laugh at that, and I figure there may have been furniture casualties at past parties.
“So, you want hot guys there, right?”
Cara nods enthusiastically. “Uh, yeah… and the more the better, but I’m doing this old school… no social media blasts… just word of mouth.”
“You should invite Evan,” Natalie says to me. “And his friends.” She points toward the shirtless group playing Frisbee.
“It’s this Saturday night,” Cara says. “You think they’ll come?” Now her attention is just as focused on the guys as Natalie’s is.
“I suppose?” I say.
“Let’s go ask.” Cara is already getting up with Natalie right on her heels. I figure I should do the same.
“I was just going to tell him about it later,” I say, though I see Evan so seldom now that who knows how much later would actually be.
“Got to strike while the iron’s hot,” Natalie says.
And strike they do, like two vipers going after their prey. With Cara at her side, Natalie is so much more flirtatious, but she does at least focus mainly on Marvin, Jason and the other guys, knowing I’m “conflicted” over Evan. There seems to be some kind of immediate love connection between Cara and Marvin, and the other guys don’t hesitate in saying yes to Natalie either.
“Can I talk to you a sec?” Evan says to me before handing off the Frisbee to Jason.
“Sure.” There’s some dewy sweat clinging to the trail of hair going from Evan’s navel and disappearing into his shorts. God, just one more thing that makes it difficult for me to divert my eyes from him.
“I’m heading over to Charlotte in a little while, so I might be home late.”
So?
That’s what I feel like asking him. We’ve barely seen one another in the past month, so I’m not sure why he wants me to keep tabs on him today. But curiosity wins out, and I don’t just say “okay” or “thanks for telling me,” but ask him, “Are you going to see your dad?”
He nods, almost imperceptibly. “Not sure why I’m bothering. He’s not much of a talker, but he apparently has something to tell me.”
“Do you want company?” I’d like Evan to know I’ll be there for him if he needs me.
“Nah, that’s okay.” Evan crosses his arms over that bare, muscular chest of his, and I feel a twinge of disappointment. It would have been a good excuse to spend four hours in the car with him and have a conversation that lasted longer than a few minutes.
“Are you sure? You might need someone to talk to.”
“I’ve asked enough of you already, plus I’ll probably just be in a bad mood after.”
“Okay.” I reach out and gently wrap my hand around his wrist. I’m not sure why I do it, but I just feel compelled to touch him in some way, to let him know that I’m still here, still his friend.
He looks down at my hand and smiles. “Thanks, Paige.”
I have a test tomorrow, and I should be getting a good night’s sleep, but instead I’m on the couch watching some bizarre movie while I wait for Evan to get home. Since he’d told me he’d be meeting with his dad this afternoon, I’ve been worried and imagined all sorts of awful things happening between them. It’s well past eleven now, and even though he said he’d be late, I can’t help but imagine the worst.
When my phone vibrates, I basically jump, grabbing it and hoping it’s from Evan.
How’s my girl?
It’s from Garrett. And even though he can’t see me, I force a smile.
Me: Watching a D-list movie on Netflix… so, pretty entertained! How are you?
Garrett: Just getting in from practice. It was brutal. Miss you so much. Thinking of getting a job so I can fly out and see you sooner.
The idea of seeing Garrett again excites me for all of a split second because he still doesn’t know that I’m living with Evan. If he found out, it would be just as bad as if he’d seen Evan and I spooning in our underwear.
Me: Or I could fly out there? I have a job. Might be able to get a cheap ticket soon.
By typing it, Garrett is probably going to hold me to that. And I guess that’s for the best because I really should be spending more time with the guy I’m actually dating. But my mind quickly reverts back to Evan, and I can’t help but wonder how his visit with his dad has turned out.
Garrett: Really? That would be so awesome. I miss holding you, Paige. I love you so much.
Me: I love you too.
We text back and forth for the next fifteen minutes and promise we’ll actually talk tomorrow when I’m not so tired and he’s not so beat from practice. I put my phone on the coffee table and consider calling Evan to make sure he’s okay when I hear keys in the door.
EVAN
I’m still a little dazed from my meet up with Dad in Charlotte, but the person who kept my mind buzzing on the drive back was Paige. I’m acutely aware that I’ve been doing everything possible to avoid her… again, which is no easy task, especially not when I see her looking so cute like she was today on the quad. It’s just that I don’t want to ruin the good place we seemed to get to after our little disagreement about the guy I decked. And I don’t see any purpose of having another heart-to-heart when I know where it will end up—Pai
ge will tell me how important I am to her and that she loves me, as a friend, but that she’s going to stick it out with Garrett. I’m not sure that would change even if I told her why I’d stuck things out with Lexi all of my senior year. She might understand, but she might not.
So, as I drag myself up the stairs to our apartment, I’m looking forward to hitting the sack and zoning out, completely. But when I key the lock and open the door, Paige pops up from the couch.
“You okay?” she asks in a way that makes me think I must look like shit.
“Hmm?” Man, I’m tired. “Yeah… no… I don’t know.”
“Come and sit.” She takes my hand and leads me to the couch where we sit together, her hand behind my back and resting on my shoulder. “I’ve been worried about you,” she says.
I laugh quietly. “You have?”
“It’s pretty late. Do you want to talk about what happened with your dad?”
I rub my face and groan. I hadn’t especially wanted to, but now that she’s offering, I guess I kind of want to get it off my chest. “It was a celebration.” I shake my head. “I’m not even sure why my dad wanted me there except to make it seem like he’s actually a decent father.”
“What kind of a celebration?” She grips my shoulder.
“Like a family thing… except I felt like a complete dumbass sitting there next to his girlfriend that I’ve never met and them telling me she’s pregnant with twins.”
“Oh, wow… that’s—”
“Completely fucked up?”
“That’s one way to put it.”
“That wasn’t even the worst of it. He’s already bought them this huge house in Ballantyne, and he made his girlfriend believe that he’s this amazing father. I don’t even remember the last time he’s seen McKenzie. She barely even knows him.” My little sister has pretty much been raised by my stepdad who isn’t father of the year either. So, my bio dad trying to take credit is pretty pitiful.
Between the Boys (The Basin Lake Series Book 1) Page 19