Isle of Sensuality

by Aimee Duffy

  Then he was going to win back the woman he loved.

  * * * *

  “Take a seat, Miss Hart. The doctor will be with you shortly.”

  Caitlyn forced a polite smile onto her face and thanked the nurse. She joined Amanda on the cushioned chairs opposite the reception desk of the private clinic. Today was the day of her first scan and although the morning sickness had passed, she’d felt nauseous since the moment she awoke. The weird Japanese plants placed strategically around the room in a way Caitlyn assumed was meant to be good Feng Shui wasn’t helping to calm her one bit.

  “How are you feeling?” Amanda asked, taking Caitlyn’s freezing cold hand in hers.

  Caitlyn didn’t want to lie, but ever since she’d come back to LA a fortnight ago, she’d been unable to hide the gnawing despair she felt. “Okay.”

  Although the truth was that today the emptiness inside her seemed to take up more space. Jake should be here with her, holding her hand and doing whatever it was expectant parents were supposed to do. She hadn’t heard from him since she left London, even though she’d texted him last week with the details of the first scan.

  She probably deserved to be doing this alone. After all, she’d run away from him, too chicken to face the argument that was sure to come. She’d told herself it was because the stress would be bad for the baby. Truth was, Caitlyn was scared that she’d break down in tears or worse, show him that she was in love with him.

  “We’ll get through this, Caitlyn. I’m here for you. I’m not a kid anymore, and it’s time I stopped relying on you.”

  Caitlyn believed her sister. All week Amanda had been her rock, and she honestly didn’t know what she’d do without her. “I know you will be.” Tears stung her eyes and she blinked rapidly to stop them from falling.

  “Miss Hart, the doctor will see you now.” The receptionist indicated to a door at the other end of the room and Caitlyn’s stomach dropped to the soles of her feet. This was the first time she’d get to see her baby and the man who helped create the tiny miracle wouldn’t be there to see it.

  Amanda rose and tugged Caitlyn’s stiff body up from the chair. Her sister shot her a worried glance when her feet didn’t move her toward the door. Even now, when it was clear he wasn’t coming, Caitlyn still harbored hope. It seemed every time she dared to dream it all came crashing down. Shaking her head, she followed Amanda across the hardwood floor toward the room.

  The sound of the door to the clinic opening made Caitlyn’s heart skip a beat. That bloody hope was back, squeezing her tummy into a tight ball of anticipation. She turned her head to the sound and froze with her eyes wide open. Jake stood in the entryway, his usual casual demeanor gone. He was dressed in a suit and wore a strained expression. Caitlyn’s stomach flipped.

  “Did I miss it?” Jake cursed and raked a shaky hand through his hair. Caitlyn noticed with a start he’d had it cut short. It made the sculpted angles of his face more pronounced. More beautiful.

  “No, I’m just going in.” She turned to Amanda and hoped her expression was appropriately apologetic.

  Amanda beamed at her. “It’s fine, you two go ahead. I’ll pick Kale up from daycare. I’m sure you have a lot to talk about.” Amanda threw Caitlyn a pointed look, and she felt a blush heat her cheeks.

  Amanda had called her all kinds of an idiot when she’d confessed to running away without giving Jake a chance to explain. Caitlyn hadn’t needed the condemnation. It was something she already knew.

  Amanda left her and Jake alone in the reception area. She could hardly bear to look at him. He looked so different from the Jake she knew; too formal and serious. What was worse, she’d barely slept all week and had dark rings around her eyes a panda would be proud of. “We should go in, the doctor is waiting.”

  Jake nodded and followed her in to the room. They sat across the table while Dr. Jennings explained how the ultrasound worked. Caitlyn didn’t hear very much of what was said. Her blood hummed through her veins at Jake’s proximity, and for the first time in a week she was warm again. Alive. But it was an illusion. Jake was only there to see his child, not her. That realization cut deep into her heart.

  Mechanically, Caitlyn got up on the exam table and obeyed when Dr. Jennings asked her to lift up her shirt. The woman spread a cold gel on Caitlyn’s stomach, followed by the scanner. She watched the screen as the green and black picture of her uterus appeared.

  “Here we are.” Dr. Jennings pointed to a small blob on the screen. “That’s your baby there. Congratulations.”

  Caitlyn’s mouth dropped open as she stared up at the monitor and the emptiness inside her filled to the brim with a rush of emotion so powerful it would have knocked her off her feet if she’d been standing. Tears pricked her eyes, but she didn’t try to disperse of them this time.

  That little blob was her baby. She couldn’t believe it, but rightness washed through her. Along with love. Whatever happened now between her and Jake, Caitlyn knew she’d go on, she’d get better and she’d survive. All because she needed to be there for the life she’d helped to create.

  Dr. Jennings excused herself from the room and Caitlyn turned back to Jake. His eyes were wide and full of wonder as he stared at the screen. God, he took her breath away. He focused on her face, as if feeling her gaze, and then smiled the most joyous smile she’d ever seen. Caitlyn didn’t even bother trying to hide the love shining out from her.

  * * * *

  As he gazed into Caitlyn’s shiny wide eyes, Jake’s heart felt like it would burst with love. He couldn’t believe he’d been lying to himself for so long; couldn’t believe that he thought his heart was too scarred to feel again.

  He snatched Caitlyn’s trembling hands and held them in his. “We’re going to be parents, Caitlyn.”

  Bursting with love, he leaned forward and planted a joyful kiss on her lips. For a moment, she stiffened, but then her mouth opened and she welcomed him in. Jake’s shoulders relaxed and arousal joined the knee-melting emotions playing havoc inside.

  After a second, he pulled away, breathless. There was something he needed to say. “You were right. About everything. I was scared to fail, but I’m not anymore.” Jake cupped the smooth skin of Caitlyn’s cheek. She seemed frozen, delicate. Breakable. His heart squeezed painfully in his chest. “I’m back running the company with my brothers. I’d have been here sooner, if not for that.”

  Caitlyn’s lips curved, but the smile didn’t reach her eyes. She looked lost, sad even, although he had seen her light up with joy when she’d looked at their child on the monitor. “That’s great, Jake. I’m glad you’re helping your brothers.”

  “And I’m sorry. I should never have said those things to you. I know you would never try to control me. Sarah did, and in anger I lashed out. I felt awful the next day and was coming home to apologize when I found your note.”

  “It’s okay. I promise. I just…I had to get away.”

  Caitlyn pulled her hands from his. Unease darted up his spine and he wanted to pull her hands back. It wasn’t okay. He could see it in the way she was twisting away from him to right herself on the table. It felt like she was closing him out.

  Was he wrong to think that she loved him?

  “Talk to me, Caitlyn,” he pleaded once she’d wiped off the jelly and pulled down her shirt.

  She turned to him, her eyes shuttered and her expression blank. He wanted to grab her by the hips, pull her against him and kiss her until the fiery, passionate woman was back. Where had she gone?

  Dr. Jennings came back into the room. Caitlyn smiled at the doctor then turned back to him. “Not here.”

  Reluctantly, Jake nodded. He could keep it together until they were somewhere private.

  * * * *

  Even when they arrived back at Caitlyn’s apartment, she tried to put off the inevitable. While she busied herself by picking up Kale’s toy cars, her mind was on the manila envelope on the kitchen counter which she’d received from her lawyer. It had a draft agreem
ent for access of their baby which she should give to Jake, but she hadn’t found the courage to do it yet.

  Jake perched on the arm of the sofa, looking better than any man had a right to. Just now, he looked nothing like the easygoing Jake she’d fallen in love with on the island. He was more like a man on a mission, but she had no idea what that mission was.

  “Why did you leave?” he asked.

  Caitlyn dropped a bundle of toys into the storage box in the corner and turned back to him. How could she tell him the truth when she knew he’d never return her love? “I couldn’t stay in London.” That was part of the truth.

  Jake stood and crossed the space between them in three short steps. Heat radiated off him and Caitlyn knew that if she gave into her desires and swayed into him, the warmth would wrap around her too. God, how she wanted it.

  His hand tilted her chin up and penetrating chocolate eyes bore into her. “I’m sorry I said those things to you. It wasn’t fair.”

  A lump rose in her throat. He felt guilty. She could see it in his eyes. Caitlyn couldn’t let him go on believing it was his fault. After all, given the choice she would never go to London. She certainly couldn’t stay there for any length of time. Even though she’d kept to herself for years, Caitlyn decided telling him the real story about her father would make him understand. It would be easier than telling him she loved him.

  “I didn’t leave because of what you said.” Caitlyn broke away from his hold and walked over to the window. Their apartment was on the third floor and faced the Hollywood Hills. Both she and Amanda had bought it with their inheritance and some of the money Caitlyn had saved working on Days and Nights. It was hard to remember ever living another way.

  The heat of Jake’s body encased her from behind and his arms slid around her waist. “Then why did you leave?”

  Caitlyn took a deep breath. “Because I was scared.”

  Jake’s hands cupped the tiny mound of her stomach and she felt her eyes water. She realized that if he loved her, this was what it would always be like.

  “I was too.” Jake turned her to face him. One of his hands rose to cup her jaw. “Terrified actually. When I said goodbye to you at the airport in Rio, I thought the scars covering my heart were too thick to penetrate. Thought I’d never be able to love anyone again, but the truth was, I was far too scared to go through what I did with Sarah again.” Jake kissed the tip of her nose. “The truth is, Caitlyn Hart, that I’ve loved you for months. You persuaded me to help my brothers with Bill, then convinced me to go back to the company. You made me realize I can love, with more force than I ever thought possible. The best thing of all, you are giving me another chance to be a dad.”

  Caitlyn’s eyes filled with moisture, and for the first time in days she felt her lips curve of their own violation. Jake loved her. He wanted her. Then it hit her like a knee to the gut. It didn’t matter. She couldn’t move to London and would never ask him to come to LA. He needed to be there for his brothers, and she knew deep down that a part of him wanted to do that too. Confessing her love would be selfish.

  “Isn’t this the part where you confess your undying love for me?” Jake teased, but the easy tone was contradicted by the worry in his eyes.

  She couldn’t prolong this. She had to stop it now. Caitlyn pulled away from Jake and headed for the kitchen. She grabbed the manila envelope and then returned to the lounge. Jake leaned against the window frame, his arms folded across his chest, and she longed to rush over and be back in those strong arms, but she didn’t dare. Instead, she handed him the contract. He reached for it, his brows creased in confusion.

  “I’m sorry, Jake. I really am, but I can’t be with you.” Caitlyn swallowed against the lump in her throat. Pain flashed in his eyes and he opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off. “My lawyers have drawn up a draft agreement for custody of our baby. If you want to make any changes, you can let them know.”

  “What?” he asked. She could see the pain in his eyes and it killed her. “I’m not signing any agreement. Caitlyn, why do we even need this?” He shook the envelope in the air. She realized then he wouldn’t let it go that easy. She had to tell him the truth about why she couldn’t be in London. Maybe then he’d let her go.

  Chapter 15

  Jake felt anger bubble up inside. He’d just poured his heart out, and Caitlyn handed him a damn agreement dictating when he could or couldn’t see his child. He glared at her long and hard, but his anger deflated. Her shoulders were hunched defensively and pain shone from eyes as bright as beacons.

  He remembered when he’d stood behind her at the window and how she’d leaned into him. If she didn’t have any feelings at all, why allow his embrace, much less melt into it? There was something she wasn’t telling him, and he was going to find out it was if it killed him.

  “I can’t move to London with you.” She beat him to it. Jake waited for her to go on. Caitlyn closed her eyes. “I told you my father was an alcoholic. What I didn’t tell you was that he used to hit me when he was drunk.”

  The anger swiftly returned and Jake saw red. His teeth clenched and his hands fisted, rumpling the envelope. If her father had been anywhere near him he would have no qualms about hitting him.

  “I ran away when I was eighteen and took Amanda with me. She was still young, still under guardianship of my dad. If he found out I was in London, he might decide to tell the police I kidnapped her.” Caitlyn’s voice sounded small, frightened. His heart ached.

  Jake fought against his anger and closed the distance between them. He wrapped her trembling body in his arms and inhaled the spicy scent of her. With her here, knowing she was safe, his anger died down to a simmer. “I could kill your father. If I ever see him, I don’t know if I could stop myself.”

  Caitlyn relaxed into his embrace. “He didn’t deal with my mother’s death very well. The drink changed him.”

  And suddenly it all made sense to him. The reason she’d been so wary around him in the beginning and why she didn’t drink. He couldn’t believe Caitlyn had been the only woman who’d never asked for anything from him, but now he could. She had to do everything by herself since she was a child and didn’t expect anything more. It was time she learned to lean on someone. To lean on him.

  Jake pulled back to look at her. “That’s no excuse. He’s your father, he should have looked after you.” His jaw clenched. “He should have kept his hands to himself.” Jake tucked a stray curl behind her ear and rested his hand on the side of her throat. Her pulse fluttered and it gave him hope.

  “Let me look after you, Caitlyn. Let me look after you and our baby.”

  Her eyes filled with tears. “You can’t. You need to help your brothers. I’ll be fine.”

  Jake dropped a kiss on her forehead. He now understood the value she placed on family. She really would do anything for her sister. Hell, she already had.

  “I’ll help my brothers too. I can move to LA and work long distance. Although I don’t think your father will give you any trouble. After all, would he really risk going to the police when he hit you? If he ever did, I’d do everything in my power to make sure they locked him up and threw away the key.”

  Tears streamed from her eyes and he wiped them away with his thumbs.

  “Jake, I don’t know what to say.”

  He rested his forehead against hers. “Say you love me. Say you’ll marry me and let me take care of you both, even Amanda and Kale. Say you want me,” he whispered. Never had he wanted to hear anything more.

  * * * *

  Caitlyn’s whole body zinged with life, heat and that special something she always felt around Jake. Her heart was ready to burst out of her chest with love. “I love you. I’ll marry you and let you take care of me and my family on one condition.”

  Jake pulled his head back and his eyes shone with happy tears. His smile was full of love, none of its usual playfulness. She knew right then that she had her Mr. Right.

  “Anything.”

 
“You let me look after you too.”

  Jake’s grin spread wide. “Well, Caity, I can think of a good place for you to start.”

  His mouth crashed down on hers and he devoured her lips with a feral urgency. Caitlyn kissed him back, feeling the fire light up her core and melt her icy body. He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. Wet heat flooded between her thighs as his arousal pressed against her jeans. If this was what looking after him entailed, Caitlyn was more than happy to oblige.

  Jake broke the kiss on a gasp, his breathing haggard. She fisted her hands around his collar and pulled his head closer. “I wasn’t finished kissing you, mister.” His throaty chuckle vibrated through them both and she shivered with want.

  “I’ll never be finished kissing you, Caitlyn. Just taking a breather.”

  He winked before his lips snared hers, and Caitlyn couldn’t help silently agreeing. She thought he might be addictive the first time they kissed, what she didn’t expect was the side effects of their separation. She’d been like a heroin addict without the drug for weeks, and now that she had him back, she knew she would never be without him again, wherever they may be.

  About Aimée Duffy

  For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a good book in my hands. In primary school I loved Roald Dahl. In high school my English teacher introduced me to Charles Dickens, Stephen King, Jane Austin, Emily Bronte, and Shakespeare. It was then that I discovered my love for romance and I’ve wanted to pen my own imaginary heroes and heroines for others to enjoy ever since. Only in the last few years was I lucky enough to meet some fabulous and encouraging people to help me gain the skills to make that dream possible.

  I live in sunny Scotland in a small town near the Ochils and work nine to five in a solicitors office. In my free time, you’ll find me on Facebook, stalking *cough* following friends on Twitter, and may even catch me shoe shopping.