by S. K. Lessly
During breakfast, Mark and Maria told me all about the stresses of raising twins, and I had to say, I didn’t envy them at all. Their boys were adorable, though. I had the opportunity to hold them both. They were so small and fragile but cute as hell. I even fed one of them while Lauren fed the other.
Watching her with her nephew in her arms, smiling down at him with infectious happiness in her eyes, had me visioning a future where she would have our son or daughter in her arms. Surprisingly, I wasn’t put off or petrified at that thought. Having twins yes that made me ill, but having a baby with Lauren, not so much. Actually, I couldn’t wait for that moment. There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this woman and have as many kids as God would allow.
I just hoped fate had desired the same thing and didn’t screw it up. You know how fate was. It could be a vindictive bitch sometimes.
19
Lauren
D-Day had finally arrived!
I was going home.
My family, minus Mark, Maria, and twins, were coming home with me for the weekend, which I was internally grateful. Although I was looking forward to going home, the thought of being in my house alone, freaked me out. I knew Eugene couldn’t hurt me anymore. However, knowing that fact still didn’t take the memories away. And because I was attacked in a place I thought was safe, didn’t make me warm and fuzzy about entering my home. Good thing my shrinks understood that and rallied to make my homecoming an easy pill to swallow.
This weekend was all about family bonding and sightseeing. We wouldn’t dwell on the reason that brought us back together. No way, it was positive thinking all the way.
As I had mentioned before, my family and I decided to turn this family trip into a mini vacation. We had plans to do the following: visit the city that never slept aka New York City, go shopping and have dinner. My father said he would rent a driver for the day, bless his heart, so that we could enjoy the sights without getting lost or freezing our asses off trying to catch cabs everywhere. He also made hotel reservations at the Plaza just for the day. He had booked the room in order for us to have a place to crash until it was time for our dinner reservation. With our plans mapped out in advance, the potential of having a fantastic day was imminent.
Then the following day was Super Bowl Sunday, and we had decided to have a super bowl party. You have no idea how excited we are that our team made it to the big dance. It had been a long time coming for our city. The title was just days away. This was our time! We were due! Just saying.
Anyway, my father had said he would cook on the grill. The usual stuff: ribs, chicken wings, hot dogs, hamburger, and bratwurst. My mom, sister, and I were responsible for the side dishes, not to mention the drinks. It was going to be an event to remember.
We left Philly Friday afternoon, once the kids were out of school. We traveled in two vehicles— my dad drove with Brian following behind him. The trip was uneventful, namely because I fell asleep during the whole ride.
The second we turned down my street, my anxiety started taking root in my spine. I rubbed at my neck, feeling the scar underneath my fingertips as we pulled into my driveway. It was a bad habit, rubbing the scar on my neck, which was something I did both consciously and unconsciously. My shrinks hated it and got on me all the time. They had no idea I had no control over my actions. I couldn’t stop doing it. I did it when I got nervous, or I was deep in thought about nothing in particular. I touched my scar every time I thought about that day. It was a reminder, if you will, of how close I came to meeting my maker. I never wanted to get close like that again; ever.
My father cut off the engine to his SUV and silence hushed over the truck. I stared at my house through the tinted glass, not making a move to get out. The place seemed quiet, desolate, and I guess that was the case. I hadn’t stepped foot inside for almost a month, and no one lived there but me.
I remained staring at the structure. On the outside, it looked like a normal house. On the inside, it was a different story.
I wonder if I will get emotional or fall apart when I cross the threshold of my house.
Considering I had been attacked right in front of my door, that reaction wasn’t too farfetched. Thankfully, I didn’t have to see the aftermath of the attack. I quietly sent a mental thanks to Paul for taking care of that for me. It was another thing I had to thank him for; the list was endless. I wonder what I could do to thank him. I grinned to myself as thoughts of all the things I could do filled my dirty mind.
Sorry, getting my mind out of the gutter.
I sucked in a breath and finally opened the car door. We all climbed out of the SUV together, my brother and his family filing out of his truck behind us. I tugged at the scarf around my neck nervously and my sister, the warden, came up beside me and slapped my hand away.
“Stop it. Everything’s going to be fine,” she assured me.
I gave her a small nod and looked back at the house. My nephew, Mark reached for my hand, laced his fingers with mine, and squeezed. I loved this little guy, knowing exactly what I needed and giving it openly. He looked up at me and gave me a determined look.
“I’ll protect you, Auntie.”
I smiled down at him and tried not to turn into a blubbering mess.
“Thank you, big guy.”
I then turned to my sister, made a circling motion with my finger around my face signaling the tears gathering in my eyes, and then said, “Your fault.”
She shrugged at me and blew me a kiss— the heffa.
I blew out a breath and reached in my coat pocket for my keys. With my nephew leading me up the path to my front door, I gained the courage to unlock the door. I worked the locks, turned the knob, and waited for the door to swing inward.
I stood there, unable to move and looked anxiously inside. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting to see— maybe a chalk outline of my crumbled-up body or something, who knew. However, everything was just as I left it before psycho came to my house. I breathed out a sigh and stepped inside, my family close behind me.
“Wow, this place is pretty cool. I didn’t expect this from the outside,” Brian said appraisingly.
“Yeah, I know,” I replied proudly. “This house was originally a single-level home with a huge basement. The owner told me his wife wanted a master suite, and he wanted a garage. He decided to do both, and this house became a split level. It’s odd though because the steps to the basement are in the back of the house. Typically, it would be there.” I pointed to the steps that lead to the second level. “It’s a little unconventional, but I love this house.” I stepped on my hardwood floors and beamed. “I had the floors redone and painted the walls myself. Come on. I’ll give you guys the tour.”
I escorted everyone upstairs and showed them the office, the bathroom and then my room.
“Mom and dad, you guys can stay here for the night.” I pointed to my room after everyone looked around the upstairs space.
“Oh no, we can’t kick you out of your room,” My mom replied.
“Oh, please that’s not a problem. Besides, my nieces, nephews, and I have a date with the Blu-ray downstairs with lots of popcorn and movies tonight.”
I heard a few yelps of joy from the little ones that brought a smile to my face.
“I’ll be fine. Trust me.”
Once everyone had a chance to look around, we moved back down to the first floor. I opened the door that was across the living room and showed them what I affectionately called the right wing. The door opened to a small hallway with three doors leading to two bedrooms and a full bathroom.
I waited for my brother and sister to drop their things in the spare bedroom before we all stepped out of the wing. I showed them the kitchen and bragged about the floor I put down all by myself. Well, mostly by myself, but they didn’t need to know the nuances.
“Is there a basement?” Mark Jr. asked me after I pointed out the patio door and the pool outside.
“Yup there is. It isn�
�t finished yet, but I have a vision for downstairs. Let me show you guys the basement and explain my vision to you.”
I smiled and escorted them down the few steps, flicking on the light as I moved.
“Dad, I can’t wait to show you my vision it’s going to be… what the…?”
Words fell from my shocked lips as I took in the sight before me.
“Uh, lil sis, this doesn’t look like it’s incomplete,” Brian called out behind me, a bit of shock evident in his own voice. He walked past me into a now finished basement, and I followed, moving on autopilot. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
First, the old plastic blinds covering the sliding glass door leading outside were replaced with darker, sturdier vertical blinds that I knew weren’t there when I left. Second, the floor down here was new too. When I left, the floor was made of cement painted gray. What I saw now was large travertine tiles in front of the basement's sliding glass door and plush carpet, the mixture of brown, tan, black, covering the rest of the basement floor. And what’s that I smell, fresh paint?
I placed my hand over my mouth as I took in every new detail of the basement, trying not to break down and cry.
The drywall that was once bare was painted a dark khaki color. A huge brown leather sectional was against the wall to my left, with two side tables positioned on either side of the couch. There was a ginormous TV, which my brother told me was a fifty-five-inch flat screen, mounted on the wall facing the couch and a freestanding shelf was tacked underneath the TV. On the shelf, I noticed, was my Blu-ray from upstairs and a soundbar.
I looked up at the ceiling and noticed black speakers dangling from above. Excitement began to surge through my veins, anticipating how good the game would sound as well as action movies. I was getting excited just thinking about turning this bad boy on to test it out.
Closer to me, before you got to the TV, sat my very own bar. It was sitting in a nook area carved inside the wall to my right. It was beautiful, and I might add fully stocked. It was made of dark cherry wood, trimmed in silver. I touched the smooth surface and couldn’t help but smile when I saw a bottle of Paul’s favorite Cognac sitting there unopened.
The best part of this space, what had me laughing and crying at the same time, was the Philadelphia Eagles memorabilia hanging on the walls. There was a picture of Lincoln Financial Stadium, home of the Eagles, the Philly skyline at night and a huge picture of my favorite player Reggie White.
I brought my hands to my face as I took in my very own chic cave. I could not have envisioned a better space. It was as if he lived in my head and saw exactly what I had pictured and brought it to life. Everything was perfect.
We all spread out and explored my new space. My family “oohed” and “ahhed” as I remained in the middle of the room still unable to speak let alone breathe. My mom found the laundry room and the half bath, which was closed off from the rest of the space by beautiful French doors. I had wondered where it had gone. Before the renovations, it was covered by one if those old-fashioned accordion style doors. This was just so amazing.
I wiped at the tears freely falling down my face now, unable to put my feelings into words. There was only one person that could have done all this. I couldn’t imagine what I could have done to deserve him.
“Lauren, it’s badass down here,” Brian marveled absently fiddling with the remote control to the television. “I thought you said it was unfinished?”
“It wasn’t finished. There was drywall up, but the floors were gray colored concrete. It looked nothing like it does now,” I confessed softly finally able form words.
“Who could have done this?” my father asked me, snatching the remote from my brother and getting the television to turn on.
“Only one person I could think of, Paul.” I looked at my family before I looked around the room again.
“What?” Brian blurted bewildered. “You’re saying your boyfriend did all this?” I nodded. “Hell, sis, if there was any more doubt this man loved you there shouldn’t be now. No man would do this for someone he didn’t love.”
I grinned through my tears. I couldn’t agree with him more.
* * *
I located some blankets for the kids and me in my new laundry area, and we camped out on the floor and couch of my now fully finished basement.
We settled down and watched The Lion King. We also watched Grownups with Adam Sandler and laughed our butts off. My siblings and parents even sat downstairs and watched some of the movies too.
After the last movie was over, I looked around and found my nieces and nephews fast asleep, the adults long gone. It was around one in the morning, and I knew sleep wasn’t coming for me at all tonight. Little Maria was lying on me knocked out. I moved her aside, went over to the lounge chairs by the sliding glass door, and pulled out my phone.
I wasn’t sure if he would answer, but I tried anyway and was rewarded by the sound of his voice.
The moment I heard the call connect, I blurted out, “I love you” before he could say hello.
There was a slight pause before I heard his reply, “I love you too, baby.” He then chuckled, playfulness in his voice. “I take it you saw your welcome home gift?”
“Yes, but that’s not why I’m saying that I love you. I mean it is, but it isn’t. I love you, love you.” I took a deep breath and told him in a rush, everything I couldn’t say in Philly.
“I’m head over heels, crazy, drunk, and stupid in love with you. You are amazing and beautiful, and strong and loving and caring and… God, I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you, but thank you. Thank you for existing. Thank you for breathing. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being there for me when you didn’t have to be. Just...thank you.”
I took a break to breathe, and I could hear his ragged breathing coming on the other end of the phone.
“Fuck, Lauren,” he breathed out on a hoarse whisper.
We both fell silent, both probably needing the break. I could feel my body shaking with emotion. I tightened my hand around the phone and the armrest of my seat as a way to calm my rapidly beating heart. The need to be close to him was becoming too much to bear.
I took a deep breath and blew it out harshly before I said, “This basement is amazing.”
“You like it?” Paul asked me, his voice broke a little as he spoke.
“Like it? I love it! It took my breath away when I came down here. My family talked about it all night. You thought of everything. I told them how you tricked out your man cave. Be prepared for my father to hire you to remodel his basement too.”
Paul laughed. “Okay. I’ll have to see the space first. As long as I have the time, I don’t have a problem with doing it.
“I’m sure he’ll corner you. But wait, I have a question for you. How painful was it for you to hang up all of the Eagle’s stuff?” I giggled when he groaned.
“Painful.”
“I bet it was. I love how you made this feel so homey.” I acknowledged solemnly. “I’m just in awe at your skills I mean you did this on your own, didn’t you?”
“I had a little help for some of it, but yeah I did the majority of it.”
“How did you find the time?”
“I was on vacation for a week, so I spent it fixing the basement. I figured I’d do this for you instead of crowding you in Philly. It didn’t take as long as you may think.”
“You spent your vacation doing this, why?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” It was my turn to be silent, the boulder in my throat growing exponentially. “I’m just glad you like it,” he added softly.
He and I talked a little bit longer. I mainly listened to him tell me just how he transformed the basement and all of the shit he received from his boys. I asked him about the furniture, the surround sound, and the TV. He told me it was an investment. He had already purchased the TV and couch for his living room but decided to give them to me instead. The surround sound was just an added bonus. When I offered to pay h
im for the things he bought, he scoffed at me.
“Lauren, I plan to spend a lot of time in that basement of yours with you. Why not make sure I’m comfortable.”
I laughed then asked, “Okay I guess you thought the same thing when you bought the bar?”
“No, the bar was made specifically for you. I had been working on that for about a month now.”
“You have? Wait, you built it by hand?” I queried softly.
“Yeah, I did. It’s no big deal. I was planning on giving it to you for a housewarming present.”
“Boy, I tell you. There are a lot of blowjobs in your future mister.”
He laughed, and I swooned. I was so serious.
“Oh yeah? I can’t wait.”
* * *
We woke the next morning, ate breakfast, showered, packed a bag, and made our way to New York City. It was different seeing the city with my family than it was with Paul. We toured the typical places, Empire State Building, The Statue of Liberty, and Central Park Zoo. We took a carriage ride through Central Park and visited Time Square.
The shopping excursion with my sister and mom was hilarious. Watching the style of clothing my sister thought was sexy was laughable, and she never tried on anything. I kindly made it my mission in life to spruce up her wardrobe. I made her try on skinny jeans for the first time in her life. Janet has an amazing shape, nice size boobs, curvy hips, and a firm ass. She needed to show off said assets as much as possible.
From there I had her try on dress after dress, form fitting, complimentary of course, shoes then ended with lingerie. She was single after all, so she needed to be prepared to entertain gentlemen callers at a moment’s notice. ‘If you don’t plan ahead, you won’t be prepared for anything’, at least that's my motto. I was going to change my stuffy shrink sister into a shrink goddess. It was the least I could do.
My mom… well she didn’t need to be buying stuff to turn my dad on no way. They're too old for one, and two, it’s gross— just saying. I did let her pick out this saucy dress that would probably have my dad salivating over her. Again, I didn’t want to think about them getting it on. Trust me. I’ve walked in on them going at it one too many times. It was traumatizing to say the least. And no, it wasn’t when I was young, it was a few days ago. Why don’t they lock their doors? Ewwww!