There were no immediate fireworks, but after a month of seeing each other three times a week, Kathy felt something she thought might be better than wild passion: steadiness – Neil always did what he said he would – and growing warmth. Kathy’s mum was pleased to hear it. She reassured Kathy that this slowly unfolding affection could be the most precious kind of love of all.
Neil said he wanted the same things Kathy did. He wanted stability, consistency and trust. He liked being in a relationship. A few weeks into their courtship, he admitted to Kathy that it was his ex-wife Caroline who had pushed for a divorce. Otherwise he might have stayed married. He liked being married. That was music to Kathy’s ears.
‘I don’t know where I went wrong with my ex,’ he said. ‘I gave her everything she wanted.’
But not, it seemed, everything Caroline really needed. She’d left him for another man who ‘understood’ her.
That arrangement hadn’t lasted long and Neil said he would have taken her back – everyone is entitled to his or her moment of madness – but Caroline didn’t come running back.
The first time she’d heard Neil explain how his marriage ended, Kathy couldn’t believe that Caroline had been so hard to please. Caroline was crazy to think that the grass could be any greener elsewhere. Neil was so kind and so reliable. He was sweet and thoughtful. He wasn’t the philandering kind. When he asked Kathy to move in with him, she was over the moon. She felt cherished and chosen. It wasn’t a marriage proposal but it was a definite commitment.
On her first night as Neil’s live-in girlfriend, Kathy could not have felt happier. Neil made dinner, which they ate cuddled up on the sofa. Knowing that she would not be going back to her singleton’s flat when the weekend was over gave her an enormous sense of relief. Wrapped in his big arms, she was sure Neil gave her everything she needed.
Kathy thought about those lovely early days with Neil as she lay awake on their second night in the palazzo. She was mature enough to know that all relationships evolve over time and that the high romance inevitably fades to be replaced by comfortable love and companionship and other pragmatic considerations, but she missed it all the same. And if those other pragmatic considerations weren’t being fulfilled either. Then what?
Kathy studied Neil’s profile in the dark. He was fast asleep. Nothing troubling his brow. Not even a stray mosquito.
In order to ensure the rogue mozzie they’d failed to find the night before didn’t bite him, he’d insisted they had the air-con on again. It was turned down to thirteen degrees, since Neil had read somewhere that mosquitoes couldn’t function below fifteen. Kathy certainly couldn’t function below fifteen.
After two hours of sleeplessness – during which Neil snored like a wild boar – Kathy got out of bed and put on jeans, socks and a sweater, then climbed back under the sheets. Only then was she warm enough to drop off.
Chapter Nine
At last, the day of Dave and Shelley’s wedding dawned. The wedding planner cornered Kathy and the girls at breakfast to give them their bridesmaid instructions. She assumed that Kathy was their mother.
‘Er, no,’ said Sophie. ‘I mean, we don’t look anything like her.’
Kathy tried not to take the way Sophie had said that – complete with curled lip – as an insult.
The wedding would be taking place at four that afternoon. Sophie and Amelie needed to be ready to have their hair and make-up done at one o’clock sharp. Kathy promised she would make sure they were in the right place at the right time. Amelie rolled her eyes. ‘We’re not, like, children,’ she said.
All the same, at five past one, Kathy found herself trawling the entire palazzo to track the girls down. They were flat out on a pair of sunbeds by the pool, topping up their fake tans. Of course they’d completely forgotten where they were supposed to be that lunchtime.
Kathy delivered the girls to Shelley’s suite, where the hair and make-up team were waiting. She then went to their room to fetch their dresses, then back to her own room to fetch the shoes she had been planning to wear that evening: Sophie insisted that Kathy’s shoes would look much better with the new Gucci bridesmaid dress than the pair Shelley had bought to go with the original dress from Pretty Little Thing.
‘But what will you wear?’ Shelley asked Kathy.
Kathy shrugged. She found she didn’t care all that much. Sure, there would be photographs, but it was very unlikely Kathy would ever see a picture of herself wearing the wrong shoes on Margaret’s mantelpiece. What mattered was that Sophie and Amelie made it through the ceremony without throwing a fit and making things difficult.
At three, Kathy left the bridal suite to go back to the Dante Suite. Neil was just about ready. ‘I had to put in my own cufflinks,’ he said.
That was something he often asked Kathy to help with.
The dress code for the wedding was black tie. Neil was furious about that. He hated to have to dress up ‘like a penguin’, as he put it, especially in the heat. No matter how many times Kathy told him he looked gorgeous in his black jacket and bow tie, Neil was determined to be grumpy about it.
But Neil had no choice about what to wear. That day he was one of the ushers. He wasn’t the best man. That honour went to Dave’s best friend Matthew from university. Neil wasn’t happy about that, Kathy knew. All the same, at a quarter past three, he went to pose for pre-wedding pictures with the groom’s party, leaving Kathy to get ready on her own.
Kathy was normally happy for any excuse to dress up. That particular afternoon, however, she wished her choice for the evening was as easy as Neil’s black suit and a white shirt. Since she wasn’t working, she’d had no budget for a new frock. Let alone a long frock she would have the opportunity to wear just a couple of times a year, if that. Instead she’d brought with her a maxi dress she’d had for a very long time. It was plain black, which she hoped hid the fact that it was not exactly new. She hoped it would also hide the fact that she hadn’t held back on the pasta. She’d told herself it would be elevated by the addition of her new red sandals, but Sophie would be wearing those now.
On her feet Kathy wore a pair of sparkly flip-flops instead. No one would notice.
A slick of lipstick and Kathy was ready. She locked the door of the Dante Suite and hurried across the landing to the stairs, just as Henry Innocenti was walking out of the music room.
‘Wow,’ he said.
Kathy paused and looked behind her. Was that ‘wow’ meant for her?
‘It’s the Queen of Sheba.’ Henry met her at the top of the big staircase that swept down to the lobby. He bowed. ‘Your humble servant, Majesty.’
For a second, Kathy felt the free-fall top-of-the-rollercoaster sensation she hadn’t experienced in a long time. Laughing a little nervously at Henry’s dramatic greeting, she pushed back her hair. She hadn’t forgotten that he would be at the wedding but equally she hadn’t expected to see him except from a distance. She’d not expected to have a chance to speak to him again.
‘Nice dress,’ he commented.
‘It’s old,’ she said.
‘It’s still nice. You’re ready for the wedding, then?’
Kathy smoothed the front of her skirt. ‘I think so.’
‘It’s going to be a lovely evening for it.’
‘Yes. You’re so lucky to live here. Tuscany’s like Heaven.’
‘On a day like this, I can’t disagree.’
Through the large windows opposite the staircase, the valley looked more beautiful than ever.
‘Are you playing for the ceremony?’ Kathy asked.
‘Yes.’ He gestured with the sheaf of music he was carrying. ‘And afterwards with the band. I’m here all evening.’
Kathy nodded. Tried not to seem too interested. ‘What sort of music will you be playing?’ she asked.
‘For the ceremony, the old traditional stuff. In the evening, whatever you fancy. We take requests. Except Coldplay. There is a special place in Hell for people who request Coldplay.’
<
br /> ‘OK. No Coldplay.’
‘Or Ed Sheeran.’
‘I think I’ve run out of ideas in that case,’ said Kathy.
‘You must have one song you’d like to hear,’ Henry Innocenti said. ‘Tell me. What’s your favourite? Yours will be the very first request we play.’
He held her eyes, making Kathy feel warm in the cheeks again, as though they were flirting. Were they?
‘I’ve got rather old-fashioned taste,’ she said.
Henry raised his eyebrows. ‘I’m intrigued.’
‘How about “The Way You Look Tonight”?’ Kathy suggested. ‘Do you know it?’
‘From Swing Time? Of course. That’s a proper song. I’ll put it on my list. Can I call on you to come and duet later on?’
‘Oh, I don’t think so.’ Kathy batted the idea away.
‘I enjoyed our piano session very much.’ Henry hesitated for a second, then continued, ‘I found myself smiling all the way back to Florence yesterday evening.’
‘You live in Florence?’
‘Born and bred.’
‘It’s my middle name. Though I’ve never been there.’
‘Well, that’s ridiculous. Are you interested in art as well as music?’
‘Of course.’
‘Then you must come. I’ll show you around. Come tomorrow when the wedding’s finished.’
Kathy knew she should say something then to make it clear that she wasn’t in Italy alone. ‘I’ve got an early flight,’ she said, stopping short of saying ‘we’.
‘Now that is a shame,’ said Henry. ‘If you’re ever back here then you must …’
Kathy was suddenly aware that Dave and his ushers, including Neil, were gathering at the bottom of the staircase for a group photograph. Neil looked up to where Kathy and Henry were standing. His eyes narrowed as he saw them. Kathy held her breath until he looked away.
‘I’ve got to go,’ she told Henry.
‘I’ll see you later,’ said Henry, seeming oblivious to Neil’s scowl.
As Kathy wove her way through the ushers, who were arrayed on the bottom two steps, Neil pretended he hadn’t seen her. When he was forced to acknowledge her, he said, ‘Everyone’s outside already. You’ll be late.’
Henry followed Kathy down the stairs. Deliberately or not, the ushers closed ranks so that he had to ask them to let him through. ‘If I don’t get to the terrace, the bride will be walking down the aisle to the sound of silence,’ he said.
Glancing back, Kathy saw Neil move only very slightly so that Henry couldn’t get by without brushing his shoulder.
Kathy kept her eyes front for the rest of the walk to the terrace. She found her seat in the second row, next to Neil’s mother. Oscar, on the other side of his grandmother, did not look up from his phone.
‘It’s too hot,’ Margaret said. ‘I knew it would be too hot. I hope Shelley doesn’t intend to compound the mistake of getting married outside in this ridiculous heat by being late for the ceremony. There’s tradition and there’s being selfish.’
Dave and his best friend Matthew walked down the aisle to find their places. Dave looked nervous but happily so, Kathy thought. A couple of minutes later, Neil slid into the row of seats next to Kathy. He squeezed her knee, which was as close as he ever got to a public display of affection.
‘OK?’ he asked her.
‘Of course.’
‘Dave’s bricking himself,’ Neil observed.
‘Neil!’ Margaret complained.
Kathy was grateful that now Neil was sitting down his mother could direct her criticisms at him. Kathy nodded from time to time but really she was only watching the stage at the front of the terrace, where the ceremony would take place and where Henry Innocenti was settling down at his keyboard. At three minutes past four – late but not too late – he began to play Bach’s ‘Sheep May Safely Graze’ as the processional. Beautifully, of course. All eyes – except Oscar’s – turned towards the palazzo, where the bride’s party was gathering by the doors onto the terrace. Shelley stepped out into the sunshine on her father’s arm. Sophie and Amelie slinked along behind, secretly enjoying their catwalk moment.
‘They’re both bright orange,’ Margaret observed in a whisper. ‘Did Shelley hire a professional make-up artist? They look ridiculous. Kathy, you should have told them.’
Like Kathy could have told Neil’s daughters anything.
‘They’re glowing,’ Kathy told Margaret. Radioactively, was the word she didn’t add.
Kathy watched the bride. She smiled broadly and gave a little thumbs-up when Shelley caught her eye.
‘Wedding dress looks a bit tight round the middle,’ Margaret commented.
The ceremony was short but special. Both Dave and Shelley cried. Kathy, who had been expecting to blub, was surprised to find she didn’t during the exchange of vows, though when Shelley’s mother gave a reading about the newlyweds stepping into the future together, the tears came close. The celebrant gave a very funny speech about Italian wedding traditions and told the guests to shout, ‘Auguri!’ when she pronounced the newlyweds man and wife.
Then it was time for Dave and Shelley to process back down the aisle as man and wife. To ‘The Arrival of the Queen of Sheba’.
When Kathy caught Henry’s eye, he grinned at her. She couldn’t help smiling back.
‘You look very happy,’ said Margaret, as though it were inappropriate.
The wedding party gathered for drinks and photographs in the rose garden while the terrace was transformed for that evening’s dinner. A harpist played as they sipped Prosecco and ate canapés.
At one point, Henry crossed the garden towards the house. Kathy pretended not to have noticed him but definitely felt herself grow warmer under the collar of her old black dress as he passed. Margaret looked at her strangely again. Neil was too busy talking to Shelley’s brother about his new car to notice where his girlfriend was looking.
After a few minutes, Kathy excused herself and went back into the hotel and up to the room she was sharing with Neil. Alone again for a moment, she touched up her make-up, then sat and gazed at her reflection in the dressing-table mirror.
What did other people see when they looked at her, she wondered. Neil’s children saw a woman on the verge of middle age, whose views on everything and anything were irrelevant. His mother saw a woman who didn’t take enough care of her figure. Kathy’s mother saw a child who still needed to be wrapped in cotton wool, though for the past two decades Kathy had been doing the caring in that relationship. Neil saw … What did Neil see? Kathy had thought he saw her as his partner and his equal. After the past seven days, she wasn’t so sure.
What did Kathy see in herself?
She saw a woman who’d had plans and dreams and had put them all aside for other people. She saw a woman who had grown used to being largely overlooked. But did she see a woman who was willing to settle in order to be settled?
In six months’ time she would be forty but she was still relatively young. She could still change her life for the better. She could still do everything she’d ever wanted to do. If, when she got back to London, the conversation she and Neil had to have panned out as she expected it would, it wouldn’t be so bad. She just had to have courage. Like her surname. She’d been a braver person once.
For just a second, Kathy felt it was time to do something stupid. Something rash.
Not now. Kathy plastered on a smile to go back outside. Today was Shelley and Dave’s day.
Chapter Ten
The terrace – already so beautiful – had been transformed. The rows of chairs for the wedding had been rearranged around a number of large circular tables. Each was laid with a sparkling white cloth. In the centre of each was a display of olive branches studded with roses. Kathy loved the contrast of the olive’s silvery leaves, which reminded her of old copper turned green, with the delicate cream of the rose petals.
Up on stage, Henry Innocenti was at the keyboard again. This time he was pa
rt of a four-piece band that included a female singer. They were working through the usual wedding classics. Unable – or unwilling – to break into any of the conversational groups that had formed among the guests, Kathy stood at a little distance and watched the band for a while.
Then someone rang a gong to let everyone know it was time for the guests to sit down. Kathy already knew where she and Neil were sitting. They were on the same table as his auntie Judith and his cousin Jeff, Judith’s son.
Turning away from the stage and from Henry, Kathy caught sight of Neil, who was staring in her direction with a frown. He summoned her with an impatient hand gesture. Kathy zigzagged her way through the other tables to get to him.
‘What were you doing?’ he asked. ‘You looked like you were in a trance over there.’
‘I was just listening to the band.’
But Neil was already turning away from her to pull out a chair for Jeff’s wife. Madeleine was not wearing an ‘old thing’ that evening. She was dressed in a floor-length burgundy silk dress that screamed ‘expensive’. It fluttered around her long legs like the petals of a flower.
‘One, two, one, two.’ Matthew, the best man, was on stage, failing to get the microphone to work.
Henry Innocenti duly obliged.
‘Thank you. OK, everybody. Ladies and gents, I hope you’ve found your places. We’ve kept it simple and put people on the same tables as their partners, rather than mixing you all up. I know some of you would rather not be next to the people you came with, but you can sort that out when it comes to the dancing. Now, if you’d all be upstanding for the bride and groom …’
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