Both Ben and Nash freeze. Nash’s face falls, his breathing stops.
Fingers paused, Ben’s face is screwed up in worry. “Do you regret it?”
“Not at all.” I shake my head. “It was wonderful experience.”
Nash breathes a sigh of relief. Ben goes back to massaging cream onto my sore crotch and inner thighs.
“Some women do,” Ben murmurs.
“They think they’re sluts,” I say.
Nash narrows his eyes. “You don’t think that of yourself, do you?”
I shake my head. I don’t believe in slut shaming. There’s no shame in liking and enjoying making love no matter what your gender. I did enjoy this. A gigantic grin spreads on my face.
Nash chuckles. He leans down for a quick peck on the lips. “Just so we’re clear, this wasn’t a threesome. We’re a ménage.”
There’s a distinction between threesomes and ménage? I make a mental note to research the terminology. Kissing my inner thigh, Ben replaces the cap on the tube and sets it aside on a nightstand.
Nash lifts me. Ben pulls down the comforter and Nash places me directly in the middle of the bed. Ben on my left, Nash on my right, they get in with me and pull the duvet up. Even in a king sized bed, the bulk of Nash and Ben make it a snug fit.
Nash rolls to his side and props his head on a hand. It’s such a casual position for him, it takes me a little aback.
“How was that for stress relief?” He smirks.
“Pretty good.” I smile at him. “Oh, and happy birthday.”
“Best present ever.” He grins like a little boy who got exactly what he wanted, the dimple I love deep and sexy. With the tenderest of touches on my face, he kisses my lips gently and rubs his nose on mine. “And the best surprise party ever.”
Not to be left out, Ben cups my cheek and turns my head his direction. He kisses me, as well. Sweet and soft. “For me, too, kitten. Best sex ever.” He places his arm behind my head.
Sure. Bet they say that to all the girls.
I snuggle in the crook of Ben’s shoulder. Nash slowly pulls the duvet down. He licks his lips while he traces the areola on my right breast with a finger. Of course, the peak beads for him.
“Mmmm.” He replaces his finger with the tip of his tongue.
I arch and he pulls the nipple into his mouth.
“So, you two have done this before?” I ask.
Suckling on me, Nash only hums.
“Yeah,” Ben says. “We’re a team, sort of.”
I run that through my head. So much of what they did tonight seemed synchronized. “A pretty good team, I’d say. So, this is what you meant when you alluded to never having a normal relationship?”
“Sort of.”
That’s a non-answer. I squint at Ben to tell me more.
“I — ah — dabble in BDSM.”
“Oh.”
Nash releases my breast with a pop. “Used to. Since our Shav isn’t into it” — he looks pointedly at Ben.
“BDSM isn’t all about pain. There’s bondage, for instance.” Ben waggles his eyebrows at me. “You seemed eager to try that.”
I smile. “I wouldn’t mind.”
Taking a hard tug on my nipple, Nash growls.
“Reciprocal, of course,” I add.
“You want to tie us up?” Ben chuckles.
“Why not?” I giggle.
“That’d be a first.”
“And you?” I ask Nash.
Nash hums, lapping at my breast. “As long as you put one of these beauties in my mouth, you can tie me up anytime, baby.”
I laugh. “Good to know. But I was referring to this ménage thing. Is this what you meant by unconventional relationships?”
Suddenly serious, Nash lays his head on my belly. “Yeah.” He grins bashfully. Wow. Another odd expression on Nash. “You, ah, didn’t seem the ménage type. I thought once you chose a guy, that was it. That you were a one-man woman.”
I am. At least, I was.
He wipes his hand down his face and grimaces. “You and Dillon — what he had with you, I was jealous of that.”
Oh. That’s quite an admission.
“Then, you and Ben hit it off real quick. It took me by surprise. I wasn’t about to lose you a second time, Shav. I decided to step up and get in the game — immediately.”
“You were willing to have a conventional relationship with me?” I murmur.
Nash nods. “We both were.” He glances at Ben. “We agreed that the guy you didn’t choose would walk away.” Nash smiles. “Then, Ben calls me with your little secret fantasy. I didn’t believe him at first.”
“So having Ben come to Colorado wasn’t to keep me from looking for Val?” I ask.
Boom. Down comes Nash’s shuttered expression. Oh, no. Nothing has changed on this front.
“Kitten.” Ben warns me off the subject.
“Was it or wasn’t it, Nash?” I persist.
“Let it go, Shavone,” Ben murmurs, softly caressing my head.
I sit up straighter, pushing Nash off me. “I’ll let it go when I know for certain that my sister is safe and sound.”
“Jesus Christ, Shav. Stop being stupid,” Nash barks. “Just accept the fact that she left and doesn’t want you around.”
She doesn’t want me around?
The shock of his meaning punches my lungs. Val ran away from me? I can’t breathe for long moments.
“Shav.” Nash grimaces. “I didn’t mean” —
My eyes prick with hot hurt. I force the moisture away and work to keep my breathing normal.
Shit.
Kicking my legs, I scramble out from under the covers. Nash grabs my arm.
“Let me go.” My voice is ice, as I struggle against Nash.
“Calm down, Shavone,” Nash murmurs.
Calm down? Oh, motherfucker.
“Let go,” I ground out.
With a raised eyebrow Nash dares me.
“And you call me stupid.” Whomp. I elbow him hard in the abdomen.
“Ouf.” Nash exhales. As he loosens his grip, I pull his pinkie finger backwards hard enough to hear snapping sounds. “Gah.” He lets go of my arm.
I spring to my feet and bounce off the bed before Ben can get a real grip on me.
“Shavone!” Ben cries.
Operating on pure irate adrenalin, I grab the towel we left by the chair and am out of the bedroom in all of two seconds.
“She’s worried about her sister! Why the fuck do you have to be such an ass about that?” Ben’s angry voice carries down the hall.
I wrap the towel around me. Wiping enraged tears from my cheeks, I sprint down the main stairs and to the other flight up to my apartment. I stab in the numbers for the security system and, once inside, throw the deadbolt and latch the chain.
My chest heaves at the burst of aerobic exertion and with a giant dose of self-righteous indignation. How dare he call me stupid. I set the alarm and go to the kitchen to make some hot tea.
Nash is lucky I didn’t take his balls. I yank a cabinet open, shove a mug under the faucet for some water. In fact, I should’ve went off the bed with a knee to Nash’s crotch.
The lock clicks open on the door knob. It twists, but the deadbolt prevents it from opening. Putting the mug in the microwave, I hit three minutes. The deadbolt unlocks. The door pushes in, but the chain allows only an inch or so. I’m surprised it held given the force put on it.
“Shav, open the fucking door,” Nash booms.
“Go away.” I yell right back. “Fucking Shavone is over for tonight.”
“So help me fucking god.” Nash shoulders the door, but even his strength can’t break it open.
I laugh through my anger. The security devices are all his doing, I’m sure. The microwave beeps. The noise at my door has ceased. He went away. Good.
I’m careful taking out the mug, gripping the hot handle with a towel this time. I dunk a blueberry tea bag in the hot water. Val doesn’t want me around? Why? The tho
ught of that being true hurts so deep, it wipes away all the bliss I experienced tonight. I sniffle and wipe my eyes with the back of my hand.
“Aw, don’t cry, kitten.”
I jump a foot off the ground at Ben’s voice behind me, dropping the mug on the kitchen tile. It shatters into a hundred pieces — hot water splattering my bare feet and legs.
“Fuck.” Ben blocks me from taking a step.
Hands of steel wrap around my waist. Shit. I pump my elbows, getting Nash’s gut again and again. He barely winces as I turn ready to kick him in the fucking balls.
“Son of a bitch.” Nash dodges my foot, wraps his arms around my thighs and heaves me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
“Put me down.” I kick my legs and beat on Nash’s back, even pull his hair. Nothing fazes him. “Nashton Xavier LaFontaine the Third! Put me down this instant!” I whack his ass as hard as I can, hoping he feels it through his jeans.
He slaps mine right back and mine is bare under the towel. I yelp. Nash chuckles and caresses my behind just before he lays me gingerly on my bed. I scramble to get up.
“Stay!” He bellows and points at me.
When I don’t listen, he places his arms on either side of me on the mattress. We stare at one another, flared nostrils to flared nostrils.
“Did you have sex with me tonight as a diversion?” I blurt it out, unsure if I want an actual answer.
“A what?” His brows pull together.
“To keep the little woman satisfied and quiet?”
“Did it feel like that’s what I was doing?” He’s hurt. “What we were doing?”
No. It didn’t. My anger abates a skosh. “Good. Because if it was, I’d have your balls,” I snarl to his face.
His lips twitch up on one corner. “Baby, they’re already yours.”
“Don’t flirt with me when I’m mad at you.”
“Can I flirt with you?” Ben says from the doorway.
“No. Neither of you want me to look for Val.” I harden my resolve. “Well, tough shit. Sleeping with me isn’t going to keep me from it.”
“Are you crazy?” Nash barks.
“I’d watch your mouth if I were you. She’s got a mean right elbow,” Ben murmurs.
Nash smirks. “And a left, and she knows how to use both of them.”
They’re humoring me. Fucking assholes. I twist into the U-maneuever.
“Oh, no, you don’t.” Nash leans hard into me, pressing me back on the bed and pinning my hands above my head. Oh, he’s heavy.
“Shav, look at me.” When I don’t, he kisses me — soft and tender. “Please,” he whispers to my lips.
I glare at him.
“You are the most important thing to me.” He softens his voice. “The. Most. Important. Thing.”
I want to believe him. Tears prick again.
“Christ. You’re a fucking psych major. You should be able to tell these things.”
“A psychologist isn’t equivalent to a mind reader. If I’m that important to you, why do you keep thwarting my mission?”
Nash grips my hair and pulls my head back gently. “Because I love you.”
What?
“I’ve always loved you, little Shav.”
My heart melts. “And I love you, Nash. You know that. But how is that relevant to this discussion about Val?” My eyes dart from his to Ben’s standing behind him. Neither of them say a word. Oh my god, she’s in some real trouble, I just know it.
“I’m not stupid,” I whisper.
“No, you’re not. I’m sorry. I used the wrong word,” Nash murmurs. “What you are is stubborn. Always have been.”
Does that mean I’m on to something? It must. I have to put aside these distractions and look for her in earnest. I relax my limbs.
“I’m going to let you go. Please don’t kick me in the balls,” Nash chuckles.
“I’m not promising a damn thing.”
Carefully, and slowly, Nash lets go and rolls off me.
“How did you get in?” I narrow my eyes at them.
“Outside entrance.” Ben winks.
Shit. The back door.
“I’m sorry I called you stupid,” Nash murmurs another apology.
“I forgive you.” I stand and move to my dresser. “You can leave now.”
He snorts. “I’m not going anywhere.”
I look at the ceiling. “Really, I’m fine.”
“We’re staying with you the rest of the night and every night from now on. That’s how relationships work, baby.”
“Dillon and I” —
“This is a grown up relationship,” Nash barks.
Ben concurs with him. “I’m sleeping in the same bed as you. Be it here or my bedroom. You pick.”
I thought this was supposed to be an experience?
“I want to be alone,” I insist. This is a complication I didn’t see coming. I press my lips together and slowly shake my head. I like my solitude.
“We’re both staying,” Nash growls.
Fine!
Pulling clean jammies from the dresser, I take a quick glance out the window at Cruz’s place. It’s dark. It appears that no one’s home. I slam the drawer and go to the bathroom to wash up.
A giant furrow creases Nash’s forehead. “What’s wrong with you? I thought girls like to cuddle after sex.”
“Not when you call ’em stupid five seconds after fucking them,” Ben murmurs.
Exactly.
The guys take up too much space in my bed — and the extra wolf heat is too much. Even if I could fall asleep, I’d wake broiling. I crawl to the end of the bed and slip off.
I look at the sleeping giants. One arm over his head, the duvet barely covers Nash’s crotch. His other hand rests on his rippled abs — abs that stoke my libido again.
Ben’s left leg rests on top of the blankets. Covered in sinewy muscle and a smattering of chestnut hair, it’s a sexy male leg. I smile, thinking about what we did tonight. It was wonderful. This invasion of my bed? Not so much.
I sigh and pad to the kitchen. Looks as though the ceramic from the mug has been cleaned up. Still. I tiptoe gingerly just in case I step on a missed piece. I open the fridge. It’s stocked now — salad, fruit, almond milk, juice — all my favorites.
Thoughtful Nash. Amazing lover Nash. Infuriating Nash. I feel horrible after we fight. Tonight the heartache feels extra heavy, fighting seconds after our first time making love.
I pour some juice and go to the dark living room to curl up in a chair by the window.
The light is on in Cruz’s bathroom. A shadow flits around inside. The French door opens and Cruz walks out to the terrace, a cell phone at his ear. He flails his arms in anger. I wish I had my camera right now. I’d try to read his lips. He pauses with a hand on a hip to listen, then speaks again his body language tense. He ends the call and grips the phone like he wants to throw it. But he doesn’t. In the end, he simply tucks it in his pocket.
Leaning his forearms on the railing, Cruz lowers his head in some sort of defeat. Whoa. He’s so powerful. Who in the world can pull his strings like this? Then, his head lifts and looks in my direction. He can’t see me, I’m sure. I’m sitting in a dark room. He stares for so long, though, that I start to doubt that.
“Can’t sleep?” Ben soft voice startles me.
I turn my head away from the window and smile. “I’m not used to company in my bed.”
“Good,” he smirks, walking to me in nothing but boxers hanging low on his hips.
Geez. He’s hot. Why am I complaining about him being in my bed? Perhaps I am stupid.
“Did you go into the kitchen with bare feet?” His eyes narrow at the glass in my hand.
I lift my feet and wiggle my toes. “Very carefully.”
“Next time wake me. I’ll get whatever you need. Don’t want you cutting yourself.”
“Yes, Sir Benjamin.” I smile.
He returns my smile and takes a seat on the sofa facing me. “How are
you feeling, my lady?”
“Fine.”
“Come here, kitten.” He pats his lap. I set the glass on a side table and go to him, to snuggle into his shoulder. He hums happily and rubs my back. “Who knew cuddling was so nice?”
I shift to kiss his throat. “Is this your first cuddle?”
He chuckles. “Second. I cuddled with this hot chick while watching a sappy movie the other night.” He strokes my head, shoulders and back.
Wow. Perhaps he’s been more deprived in the love department than I. We’re quiet for a few minutes.
“I’m sorry I hurt you, Shavone, earlier. My wolf got away from me.”
“It’s okay. It was sexy, how much you wanted me. Besides, you made it all better in the end.” I smile up at him.
From the corner of my eye, I notice the light go out in Cruz’s bathroom. Seeing him reminds me to focus on Val. No time like the present to talk to Ben. I take a deep breath and gaze into his face.
“Fuck.” Ben rolls his eyes and lolls his head away. “I don’t like that look.”
“You said at the restaurant that we could talk more at home.”
He sighs and closes his eyes. Doesn’t look like he’s going to standby that promise. I move to get off him. His eyes open.
“Stay.” He tightens his arms around me.
“Please, Ben,” I plead. “I’m so worried about her.”
“What do you want to know?” He cups the back of my head. “I’ll tell you what I can.”
What does that mean? I decide to start with the most important. “Is Val safe?”
“Yes.”
“Is she still with that wolf, Francisco?”
“Yes.” He strokes my face. “And he’d lay down his life for her if necessary.”
Shit. Why would that be necessary?
“They’re in love?”
“As far as I can tell, yeah. I can’t say much more, kitten. Remember what I said? About keeping you alive?”
I nod and keep quiet, encouraging him with my eyes to go on. With a hand holding my head to his shoulder, he leans down to murmur very close to my ear.
“The best way to do that is for you to let her do what she needs to do.”
What is it that she’s doing?
“She’ll come home the second she’s ready. Until then, you need to be extremely careful who you talk to about this, okay?”
Soft Shatter (Wolven Moon Book 1) Page 24