Entering her bedroom, he placed her gently on the bed. Taking a step back, he undid the buttons on his shirt. “This is a bad idea. You’re my ward.”
“This isn’t the eighteen hundreds and I’m a grown woman. I know what I want and it’s you.”
“I should turn you away, but I’m not strong enough.” He stripped off his pants and boxers.
Miller’s eyes widened, the admiration on her face enough to make any man feel ten feet tall.
“You’re beautiful,” she whispered.
He raised his eyebrows. “I believe that should be my line.”
“No, I’m nowhere near as beautiful as you. You’re magnificent.” Her gaze dropped to his cock. “And huge.”
“Touch me,” he whispered.
Reaching out, she touched him tentatively.
“Harder, he won’t bite.”
“Does he have a name?”
Now that was the most bizarre question he’d ever been asked in the bedroom, and he’d been asked a few.
“No.”
“I’m going to call him Quincy.”
“You are not going to call my dick Quincy.” His breath caught as she grew bolder, running her hand up and down his length.
“Richard?”
“No.”
“Hunter?”
He snorted out a laugh. “No, and stop making me laugh.”
“I like making you laugh. You don’t do it often enough.”
He had little to joke about.
“Enough. You’ll make me come.” He gently drew her hand away.
“Isn’t that the idea? Or is there no coming during sex either?”
Rogan shook his head then lay next to her, slowly drawing her T-shirt up her body. He ran his fingers over her silken legs.
“There’s no coming before you do.”
“How generous of you.” Her breath quickened as he pushed her shirt up to her belly.
“No panties?” he asked in a strangled voice. Her pussy was waxed. Completely bare. He brushed a finger over the top of her mound. “When did you do this?”
“Natalya talked me into it. I was beginning to look like Sasquatch down there.”
He snorted. Had he ever laughed this much during sex? No, because sex wasn’t fun. It was all about fulfilling a need. He got laid, thanked the woman then said a quick good-bye. No attachments, no feelings, no ties.
Just the way he liked it.
Until now.
He ran his finger between her slick lips. “You’re wet.”
“Duh. You’re the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen. Of course I’m turned on. Isn’t that the point?”
“How many naked men have you seen?” He worked hard to control his jealousy.
“Eric Northman sunbathing naked is going to be forever etched in my mind.”
“Miller,” he growled.
“I’m not a virgin, Rogan. I’ve slept with a few men. None of them could hold a candle to you.”
He was acting like an insecure idiot. No one else mattered. Not when she was in his bed.
Rogan drove a finger inside her pussy, making her gasp. “Oh hell.”
“Mine,” he muttered, knowing he sounded like a caveman but unable to help himself. He wanted to possess her. He wanted to mark her. He wanted everyone to know whose she was.
And that they touched her at their own peril.
Christ, he was losing his fucking mind.
Calm down before you scare her.
He strummed her swollen clit with his thumb. “Pull your shirt up; show me your breasts.”
Her cheeks were flushed. With shaking hands, she revealed small, pert breasts. “They’re not very big.”
“Hush, they’re perfect.” He continued to play with her clit as he leaned in and sucked one red berry into his mouth.
Miller moaned and he lifted his head to check on her. There was no hint of panic, just need filling her eyes as her breath came in sharp pants.
“I want you to tell me if you feel at all scared. Let me do all the work, all right?”
“I think I can deal with that.”
“Any pain and we stop.” Her body was still bruised from the attack.
“No pain here,” she told him. “Nuh-uh. In fact, I think you might have found the perfect painkiller.”
He grinned. “Sex?”
“Yep.”
“You’re going to want sex every time you stub your toe?”
“And I’m awfully clumsy.” She batted her eyelashes at him and he let out a low chuckle.
“You’re trouble.”
Rolling her to her side, he kissed her deeply. The taste of her filled him. His balls grew tighter, and the need to take her grew until there was nothing else. Just her. Just his desire for her. He slid his finger from her pussy, ignoring her whimper of protest. He’d soon make it up to her. Kissing his way down her body, he paid a lot of attention to her breasts and nipples. When he reached her pussy, he paused.
“Still good?”
“Better than good,” she replied. “Stupendous. Magnificent.”
With a grin, he helped her strip. “Lie back and spread your legs.”
He moved between her open thighs, staring at the glistening lips of her pussy. “Beautiful.”
“Are you going to stare at it all night?”
“Hush.”
“Oh, you did not just hush me, Mr-oh crap!” She broke off mid-sentence as he licked over her clit.
He took one long lick of her pussy. Christ, she tasted good. He slid two fingers deep inside her, pumping them in and out of her slick warmth as he continued to play with her clit. Flicking it, circling it.
“Rogan!”
“Give in, baby. Come for me.”
He could feel the tension in her body. Knew she was close.
“Come, Miller!”
She let out a loud yell as she came, her pussy tightening around his fingers.
“Oh, oh.” Shudders rocked her body and he watched her closely. When she opened her eyes, a smile of satisfaction curved her lips.
“That was amazing.”
Rogan moved to lie on his side beside her. He ran his finger over her breast.
“Amazing, huh?”
“Tremendous. Stupendous. But I know something else that would feel even better.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to rush you.”
She slowly rolled onto her side then reached down and clasped his cock. “Oh, I think I’ll survive. If you’re very, very gentle.”
He sucked in his breath, barely managing to refrain from. “You’re an evil woman.”
“I need you, Rogan.”
He couldn’t refuse her. Plus, his balls were so tight he was worried he might actually have done some damage down there. “I haven’t got anything.”
“I’m on the pill and I’m clean.”
“I’m clean as well. I’ve never had sex without a condom.” He’d never known anyone other than Victoria well enough to sleep with them bareback. And he hadn’t trusted her enough not to fuck her without protection.
But he trusted Miller. “You sure? I can go get something.”
“Right, and risk meeting someone in the passage with a box of condoms in your hand?” she asked.
“A box? Baby, I’m flattered but I haven’t gone through a box in one night since I was eighteen.”
“Well, I thought this wouldn’t happen just once.”
He rolled onto his back, drawing her on top of him. As he slid inside her, he kissed her thoroughly. Fuck. His vision blurred, the pleasure of her pussy clenching around him, welcoming him inside her was almost enough to blow his mind.
Rogan had to pause for a moment to regain his senses. He would not come in the first thirty seconds.
He would not.
“Rogan.”
“Yes?”
“Move.”
Yeah, that sounded like a plan. Moving as slowly as he could, he guided her with his hands around her hips.
“Faster. Harder.�
��
“Don’t. Want. To. Hurt. You.” His teeth clenched against the need to let go and plunge inside her.
“You won’t hurt me, you overprotective male.”
“You need protecting. You attract trouble.”
“It’s a talent. Please, Rogan. You’re killing me.”
Rogan moved faster. His pleasure grew. The sounds of arousal drifting from her lips only pushed him on. Need drummed through him, the beat growing louder, faster until the crescendo hit and he came with a roar. Soft pulses milked him as Miller moaned, coming as well.
Miller collapsed against him. He held her gently, running his hand over his hair. “Are you well?”
“Hush.”
Hush? Was she kidding?
“I’m savoring the moment. I didn’t know it could be like this.”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“I didn’t know I could soar. I never realized it could be like that.”
He kissed her. “Me neither.”
She rolled off him. He placed his arms under his head. As the arousal cleared from his head, he started to think more clearly.
“I don’t do relationships,” he warned her.
She grew silent. “Wasn’t aware I was asking you for one. I just wanted to fuck.”
Those words didn’t feel right coming from her lips. Miller wasn’t the casual type.
“I’ve only ever had one relationship. It was a disaster.”
“What happened?” she asked.
“Victoria thought she was in a real life episode of The Sopranos. She didn’t realize I worked long hours, I don’t talk about my job, and I wasn’t going to deck her out in diamonds and furs.”
“She sounds like fun.”
“Our relationship lasted about three months before she found someone more attentive and morally corrupt.”
“Morally corrupt?”
“He’s a politician. They’re married. I have no idea how to be in a relationship. I know I’d be overprotective. I’d probably smother you. You would always be at risk. It’s a bad idea.”
“Again, I don’t remember asking you to be in a relationship with me. And you’re protective of everyone close to you, even if you like to deny it. You won’t smother me because I won’t allow it. I’m no pushover.”
“I know that. You’re strong. Stronger than you think you are. But being close to me is dangerous.”
She snorted. “Give it up, Rogan. That’s just an excuse.”
“What do you mean?”
“Nowhere is completely safe. But you make me feel protected, secure. I’ve never had that before.”
“I have enemies.”
“So do I.”
Really? What sort of enemies could she possibly have? Some sort of sworn nemesis who’d stolen her lunch money as a child?
“You think my father hasn’t pissed people off over the years? Any of them could decide to use me for revenge. And what about the Vipers? What if they hold some sort of grudge against me over Iker’s death?”
“If anyone holds a grudge over his death, they’ll come to me. I have an agreement with the Vipers. They’ll leave you alone.” If they knew what was good for them.
They wouldn’t be bothering her again.
“My point is the world isn’t safe. You can’t protect me from everything. The other night proved that.”
He could have protected her if she’d stayed here where she was safe. “You’re safe here.”
She gave him a suspicious look. “I’m not hiding here from the world. I called Sofia today. I have a shift at Solnyshko on Monday. They’re really short staffed.”
He stiffened. He’d need to handle this carefully. He didn’t want to step on her sense of independence.
“You’re not going back there.”
Or he could try to bulldoze right over her. Idiot.
“Yes, I am.”
“I forbid it.”
She snorted and patted his cheek. “Have those delusions returned? You really need to bash them into submission.”
“Miller, I want to keep you safe.”
“I know. And I appreciate the thought, really, I do. No one’s ever tried to protect me before. But I’m not the kind of person who sits at home, scared. I can’t let fear control me. Or you.”
“I’m not trying to control you.” Wasn’t he? Fuck, that was the last thing he wanted.
She rolled onto her side and patted his chest. “You have the best of intentions. You like to be in control. I understand. So do I.”
“Fine pair we are.”
She grinned. “Just as well we’re not in a relationship. We’d drive each other nuts.”
They were lying to each other. She was all he had ever dreamed of and figured he could never have. But she was his and damned if he could let her go.
And yet how did he keep her when he knew it would put her at risk?
“So what do we do about this?”
“About my need for independence and your need to control everything around you?” she asked.
“Yeah. That.”
“Find a middle ground.”
“When Colm told me you’d been attacked, I nearly lost my mind.” Because you mean everything to me. “Are you sure you want to go back to Solnyshko? Wouldn’t you rather do something less exhausting?”
He’d seen her fatigue, had held back from protesting.
“I like working hard. Stops me from thinking too much. And, before tonight, I was enjoying myself. Most of the people there are really nice.”
“Most?”
“Oleg is a bit of a jerk.”
He frowned. “The one with the scar? Sofia’s boyfriend?”
“Yeah, him. Why is she with him when she and Colm would be perfect together?”
“Colm likes her, but it would never work out. Aleksandr wouldn’t let her get involved with anyone outside the mob.”
“Seems rather old-fashioned of him.”
“He wants to protect her.”
If Sofia were his cousin, she’d be keeping her far away from creepy Oleg. “Colm has more integrity and honor in his big toe than that asshole Oleg has in his whole body.”
Rogan pulled her close. “If you go back to Solnyshko, there are going to be some new rules.”
“When I go back.”
“Fine, when. You’re a tough woman to negotiate with.” She would keep him on his toes.
“What are these rules?” she asked.
“One of my men is there at all times.”
“So what’s changed? Colm’s going to get fat with all the food he’s been eating.”
“No going outside without an escort.”
“Fine. I can do that.”
“And you cut down your shifts.”
“What? Why?” she asked.
“Because they tire you out.”
“Rogan, I’m fine.”
“If you’re tired, you’re not thinking as clearly.”
“You mean I’ll find it harder to fight temptation.”
“What does your therapist say?” he asked.
“She advised me to go slowly.”
He didn’t say anything. He was pretty sure he didn’t have to.
“Fine,” she muttered grudgingly. “I’ll talk to Sofia about cutting down my shifts. But I might need to cover my shifts until she finds someone else.”
He nodded. “I’ll give you that.”
“See? Compromising isn’t so bad,” she told him. “Especially when I’m doing most of the compromising.”
“It is much less painful that way.”
She smacked his shoulder.
“Rogan?”
“Yeah?”
“How did you come to be the leader of the Cavans? I mean, I know your father was the leader before you, but Natalya told me it wasn’t your choice.”
“Did she?”
“Don’t be mad at her. She did say it was your story to tell.”
With a sigh, he leaned back and stared at the ceiling.
“So he turned to more illegal means to make money. It sounds bad, but he wasn’t really a bad man. Back then, he was involved mainly in illegal gambling. And he gave a lot of immigrants jobs, not just Irish immigrants. People who were desperate. I remember how much people liked him, you know?”
“You loved him.”
“Yeah, I did. He died when I was ten. After that, things changed.”
“Your father took over?”
“He wasn’t like my grandfather. He was determined to make the Cavans the biggest and most powerful gang in Texas. He might have succeeded if he hadn’t been killed in a car accident. He wasn’t even fifty.”
“So you took over.”
“I never wanted to. I never wanted this life. But the bastard made me promise.”
And he didn’t go back on his word. It was something his grandfather had always told him. A man is only as good as his word.
“How did he get you to take over?”
“When I was seventeen, I had plans to go to college, to do something with my life. I wanted nothing to do with the gang. There were some problems with the Seven Sinners. They were a new gang who didn’t respect boundaries. They were pushing shit on our territory. My friends overheard some of my father’s men talking and they decided they’d help.”
“What? Were they crazy?”
“Naive. It was Aedan, Dylan, and Lucas.”
“What happened?”
“They found two young members of the Seven Sinners selling drugs on our territory. They even managed to scare them off, remarkably. It gave them an inflated sense of indestructibility. They went back the next night. Only, this time, the Seven Sinners were armed and Lucas was shot. I had followed them to drag them back home. He died in my arms.”
“Oh, Rogan. I’m so sorry.”
“I told Dylan and Aedan to leave. I didn’t want them involved in the messy aftermath, and it was messy. My father kept them out of it all.”
“In return for your promise to take over the gang.”
“Yes.”
“That asshole.”
He smiled at the fierceness in her voice.
“Yeah, he was. But he did his best to find the shooter. Unfortunately, the Seven Sinners got him out of town quickly. When they wouldn’t produce the shooter, my father decided to destroy them. I have no doubt he used the shooting as an excuse. He must have been working on a way to get rid of them. He set up an alliance with the Russians and the Vipers. Within a year, the Seven Sinners were gone.”
Redemption (Cavan Gang #2) Page 8