Always & Forever

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Always & Forever Page 18

by Crossley, Lauren


  “I could have kept you safe and I would have been there for you if you had only told me, Bethany.” His azure blue eyes penetrate my own and I’m shocked by the undeniable chemistry between us.

  I suddenly remember all of the times a random girl from college would come up to me, rudely demanding to know if Callum and I were together. He was so popular and good looking, there were a ton of girls who were interested in him but for some reason he never seemed to reciprocate their feelings.

  “Like I said, it’s in the past. I do need you to promise me something though. I need you to swear to me that you will never come by the bookstore again, you have no idea what the repercussions would be if my father found out about tonight. He can’t ever know that I saw you or that I wasn’t at home this evening. Please promise me you will stay away from that place.”

  “Of course I won’t. I’d never risk your safety and now I know the way things really are.”

  “Thank you.” I say, smiling weakly.

  “Bethany…” He leans in towards me and I find myself horrified by the idea of taking this further. What about Jake? I’d be betraying him if I allowed this to happen.

  Before Callum’s lips meet with my own, I place a hand on his chest to prevent him from doing something I will later regret.

  “Don’t. We can’t do this, Callum. I’m waiting for someone.”

  “Who?” He demands angrily.

  “His name is Jake, I haven’t known him for very long but it’s pretty serious.”

  “I see.”

  I watch as Callum’s eyes turn cold and distant, I don’t know whether I’m relieved or disappointed to see him withdraw from me so quickly.

  “He should be here by now; I don’t know what’s keeping him. I’m actually quite worried; he’s never late like this.”

  I glance at my phone and groan when I see that it’s turned itself off due to the low battery. I realise that even if Jake were to phone me I wouldn’t know about it. I really need to get back home and call him; I have to find out what’s going on.

  “Let me get this straight, he arranged to meet you here and then didn’t even have the decency to turn up?”

  “It’s not like that, Callum. I’m sure something’s wrong or something awful has happened to him. This isn’t like Jake; he wouldn’t just leave me here like this.”

  “I can’t believe he would keep you waiting when you’re on your own in the dark. It’s not safe for you to be out here, Bethany. Anything could happen.”

  “I’m perfectly alright; I can take care of myself.” I say stubbornly.

  “Well, have you tried calling him?”

  “Of course I have but now my battery has died and I really need to get home and get it recharged.” I jump to my feet, shoving my phone back in my pocket.

  I just can’t shake the horrendous feeling that something bad has happened. My eyes fill with my unshed tears and I wring my hands together, trying to regain some control over myself and my turbulent emotions.

  “Bethany, calm down. I’m sure everything’s fine, he might have got caught up with something, maybe work? Please don’t go, I really don’t want to say goodbye yet and we’ve hardly had a chance to talk and catch up. You can’t leave like this.” He stands up to join me, placing his hands on my shoulders so that we’re face to face.

  “Don’t you understand what I’ve just said? Something’s wrong, we meet here every week at the same time and in the same place. Jake wouldn’t do this to me unless something was wrong. I need to find out if he’s ok.” I glance behind me, desperate to see Jake’s tall silhouette walking towards me in the distance.

  “You’re not going anywhere until you calm down; if you want to go home then I’m taking you. No way are you walking the streets at night by yourself.” His strong hand wraps around my wrist, turning me back towards him.

  His eyes are full of concern for me and I nod my head in acceptance. I do need to get a grip; if I go home like this my mum is bound to be suspicious.

  “I used to love it when you did that.” He whispers huskily.

  “What?” I glance up at him, frowning and oblivious.

  “When you bite down on that bottom lip of yours, it’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. It always was and nothing has changed.”

  My mouth falls open in astonishment, I didn’t even realise that I’d been biting on my lip.

  The expression on Callum’s face is intense, it makes me squirm and I don’t know if his comment offended me or did something else entirely. Something I can’t even bring myself to acknowledge or address.

  “Callum…” I don’t finish my sentence and the silence that follows is deafening.

  He’s breathing heavy and his posture is tense. He looks like he’s struggling with himself, as though he’s seconds away from grabbing me and smashing our lips together.

  “I’m sorry, forget I said that.” He rakes his fingers through his sandy blond hair in torment.

  “All I care about right now is finding Jake. I need to talk to him.” I tug on my own hair in frustration, almost frantic.

  I can’t believe I’m having these inappropriate feelings, I should be with Jake, I should be at home trying to contact him and yet I can’t help but wonder what it would feel like if Callum were to act on his impulses. What would it feel like? Would I like it? Why didn’t I feel this way about him before? I don’t even know if he has a girlfriend. He didn’t want a relationship in college but what about now? Is that what he’s wanting from me?

  “Ok, Bethany. I’ll take you home. We’ll go right now but before we leave I need to ask you something.”

  “Ok but can you make it quick?” I say impatiently.

  “I need to know if I’ll be able to see you again. I’ll take anything that I can get, I’ll even be respectful of this friendship you have with Jake but please… I’m begging you, I can’t lose you again. Please don’t make me go through that a second time. The first time nearly killed me.” He implores me with glazed over eyes to take him seriously.

  I’ve never seen Callum like this before. His agony is palpable and I can only imagine what he’s been through these last two years. His pain is still raw and before I manage to filter through the thoughts racing through my brain, I find myself saying yes.

  “It’s going to be difficult. I don’t even know how I’m going to manage; I barely get to leave the house as it is.”

  “We’ll figure it out, Bethany. I promise that we can do this however you want.” Callum takes a step closer towards me, taking hold of my arms and pulling my body up against his. His fingers make contact with the bruises on my arms and I bite down on my lip to stop myself from crying out in pain. The bruises look worse than ever, they’ve now darkened to a hideous purple and I have to force myself to look away whenever I undress. I can’t bear to see the reminder of what my father did that night and I certainly don’t want Callum to know anything about it.

  “I have a phone now so maybe we can exchange numbers? I can’t promise you anything but we can try.” I swallow nervously.

  “Baby, you really need to stop doing that if you expect me to behave myself.”

  It takes me a moment to figure out what he’s referring to. It’s only when Callum licks his own lips whilst staring at mine that I realise what I was doing. I release the hold on my bottom lip and focus on the ground at my feet instead.

  “What’s your number? My phone isn’t working and I can’t remember mine off by heart yet.”

  “Shit, how are you going to remember this? Do you have a pen?” The look of horror on Callum’s face is almost comical; if I weren’t so worried about Jake I’d find the situation funny.

  “Please, we need to hurry. I have to get home so I can charge my phone.” I’m practically pleading with him, my anxiety is out of control and I feel like I’m close to hyperventilating as I imagine all of the terrifying things that might have happened to Jake.

  “I really should have a pen on me, I was studying earlier. Fucking hel
l! I had one, I swear I did!” Callum pats himself down; desperately searching for the one thing he believes will keep us from losing touch.

  His piercing gaze locks on mine as soon as he locates a pen from one of his pockets. He raises his eyebrows at me, silently asking me something. I don’t realise what it is until he takes hold of my forearm and gently rolls up my sleeve. On the inside of my wrist he writes his number and at one point I find myself closing my eyes, losing myself in the wonderful sensation his touch brings to me. He continues to hold my arm, even when he’s finished noting down his number and we stare at one another for several seconds before I break away from him, pulling down my sleeve.

  “So now you have my number can we please get going? I need to know what’s happened to Jake, I have to call him.” I wail desperately.

  “Bethany, don’t do this to yourself, everything is going to be ok. I’ll walk you home right now. I’m sure you don’t have any reason to worry about Jake; he’s a thoughtless and insensitive idiot for doing this to you. You should be angry with him, not worried.”

  I’m just about to reprimand him for the way he spoke when we’re startled by an intake of breath behind us. I turn around and gasp as soon as I come face to face with Jake. I don’t know how long he’s been standing there but he looks absolutely furious. He’s glaring at us with such contempt, it’s as though the sight of us sickens him and I hardly recognise the man who’s staring back at me with such disdain and malice. His ice-cold expression is disturbing and the hatred that he’s projecting is so powerful it makes me tremble. I never thought Jake would look at me this way. It’s like he doesn’t know me, as though I’m a stranger he despises. People always say there’s a thin line between love and hate. I think I’m about to find out how thin that line really is…

  Chapter Twelve

  “Sorry, am I interrupting something?” Jake’s voice is impassive and detached, something which hurts me more than his direct anger would right now.

  His dark eyes narrow as his gaze lazily wanders up and down my body. I can feel his touch even though he’s several feet away from me and the next time I look up at Jake I see his concentration has now moved onto Callum.

  His expression hardens and I notice the erratic rise and fall of Jake’s chest as he tries to regain some control over himself.

  “Jake, just let me explain.” I make a move towards him but he stops me by holding up his hands, advising me to keep away.

  “Don’t, Bethany. Just don’t.” He warns me.

  I haven’t witnessed this side of Jake before, the man standing before me is unrecognisable.

  “Where the hell have you been, Jake? I was so worried.” I ask, closing the distance between us. I need him to know the truth, he has to realise how anxious I’ve been and I’m also hoping that my concern will dispel some of the anger he’s exuding.

  Ignoring his previous warning, I throw myself into Jake’s arms and squeeze him tight. I need to feel his body pressed against mine, I somehow need to convince myself that he’s really here, that he’s alive and safe. I crave his touch and his reassurance more than ever and the fact that he won’t give it to me makes me want it even more.

  At first he tries to pull away from my embrace but I tighten my hold on him and refuse to let go. He’s unbelievably angry and frustrated; I can feel the heat from his rage radiating from his body and I wonder if he’s ever going to give into my embrace. When his strong, protective arms circle around my waist, dragging my upper body even closer against his, I breathe a sigh of relief.

  His muscular chest pressed tightly against my own enables me to feel his strong heartbeat pounding beneath his clothes. I’m fully aware that Callum is still standing behind us and he must be staring, I try to free myself from Jake’s firm hold which has now changed into something relentless. If we were alone the last thing I’d want is to separate myself from him but I feel too conspicuous doing this in front of an audience. The way Jake is holding me is too intimate; when I try to put some space between us he tightens his hold on me even more, bringing my body flush against his. I gasp when I feel how turned on he is to be in such close proximity to me, making it impossible for me to hide the rush of colour to my cheeks.

  I inhale sharply when his eyes remain fixed on mine, wetting his lips with his tongue. He lowers them until they’re pressed firmly against the bare skin between my collarbone and my neck.

  His heavy breathing intensifies when he feels me trembling against him; he knows I forget everything when his lips caress my skin. He continues to keep me secured between his arms with a possessiveness that I have never felt or experienced before. I don’t know whether to be alarmed or aroused.

  Even though he’s touching me I know Jake’s attention is focused elsewhere. I can sense that his gaze is locked on Callum who is still standing behind me. He’s probably wondering what the hell is wrong with us. What we’re doing is wrong. It’s sick. We’re sick and what we’re doing in front of him isn’t fair. I know all of this and yet I still can’t seem to break away from Jake, I don’t want to stop him from touching me. I crave him and I’m hungry for more.

  I realise that I still have to explain to Jake who Callum is and I also need to reassure him that there’s nothing going on between us but I’m too intoxicated right now to explain anything. What Jake’s doing to me is indescribable, it’s as though I’m hypnotised by him, drawn to him in a way I never even thought was possible until I met him.

  His arms have formed a circle around me, pulling me so close that we’re chest to chest and the arousal this ignites within me is indescribable. His hard and muscular torso is such a huge contrast to my own slight frame and the difference in our height proves to be insignificant seeing as Jake’s practically lifting me from the ground.

  I gasp as Jake’s tongue slowly strokes along the length of my collarbone, followed by his merciless lips peppering soft kisses up my neck. What he’s doing is intentional and the most infuriating thing is that I’m too weak to stop him. He’s purposefully turning me on right in front of Callum as though we’re putting on some sort of show. I’m fully aware of all of this but still can’t find the willpower or the inclination to protest. It feels amazing; his touch is so alluring and seductive. How am I expected to turn away from him when he has this much power of me? It’s close to impossible.

  Just when I think I can’t take his merciless teasing anymore, Jake finally decides to loosen his hold on me. He rests both of his hands on my shoulders and pushes me away from him, holding me at arms length as his cold stare falls on my bewildered face. I notice the caution and mistrust in his eyes as he studies me, trying to read my thoughts. I don’t want Jake to doubt me but I’m also a little furious by the hurtful performance he just made in front of my friend.

  Wondering how the hell I’m going to explain any of this, I avert my gaze from Jake, desperate to put some emotional distance between us. It’s only when I observe the hungry, almost feral look of intensity in his eyes that I register what I was doing. His expression darkens when his eyes drop down to my mouth, I was biting on my lip again and I didn’t even notice. I watch Jake as he battles against himself, a part of him wants me so badly but another part is still so angry. He has no idea what he interrupted and the jealous, irrational part of his brain is screaming at him to find out.

  Our moment is finally broken by the sound of Callum clearing his throat. I turn around to face him with an apologetic look on my face. I’m so ashamed and embarrassed; I can’t believe I allowed myself to be manipulated like that. I’m so weak, it’s pathetic.

  “Jake, this is Callum. Remember the friend I told you about? The one I had in college before I was forced to leave?” My voice sounds meek and fearful but I’m thankful that I finally found the strength to introduce them to one another.

  A flash of recognition lights up on Jake’s face before a furious scowl replaces it. It’s as though the fact that I used to know Callum makes it worse.

  I look over at Callum who is glaring
at Jake, his frown is full of hate and I’m starting to resent the fact that I’m standing in between them.

  “So you two just happened to bump into each other?” Jake asks disbelievingly, glowering at us both with contempt.

  “That’s right.” Callum replies tersely.

  “And I’m expected to believe that?”

  “It’s true, Jake. I was waiting for you when Callum saw me. He just happened to be walking by, a total coincidence.”

  At the sound of my voice, Jake finally drags his intensive gaze away from Callum. His jaw is clenched and he still looks absolutely disgusted with me, I guess telling him the truth bout how Callum and I know each other didn’t ease his suspicions about us.

  “Didn’t you check your phone? I left you a ton of messages and plenty of missed calls.” Jake says pointedly.

  “I was about to call you to find out why you were so late when it ran out of battery and switched itself off. I was really worried, Jake.”

  “Well, I’m here now so I think it’s about time your friend left.” Jake snaps unkindly.

  “Jake, there’s no need to be rude. Callum was just keeping me company whilst I waited for you.”

  “Bethany, it’s ok. I have to get going anyway but here’s my phone number. Please call me.”

  I can hardly believe my eyes when Callum offers the scrap of paper to me with his number scribbled on it. I realise just how incriminating this looks, as though there really is something going on between us and I can’t believe that Callum would do this when it’s so apparent that Jake is already mad. The three of us just stand there staring at one another. I know the two of them are challenging one another to make the first move, I just don’t know who it will be.

 

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