“God, she’s stupid.” Her friend mutters, harshly poking me in the back and pushing me forwards into Sarah.
Sarah pushes me back and I fall back into the friend’s clutches. Oh, no. I can see where this is going. They continue to push and shove me back and forth, squealing with delight at how easily it is to toy with me.
Desperation once again forces me to look in the direction of the house. The music that’s playing has quietened down and I notice people finally seem to be leaving. They’re exiting the front door and dispersing, giving off the impression that the party is drawing to a close. Internally, I’m praying that Jake comes out with them
“You’re still waiting for your knight in shining armour? I’ve already told you that he’s finished with your boring, pathetic self. You really are more desperate than I thought. He lied to you. He told you what you wanted to hear, he fucked you and now he’s bored. He loves me, we’re together and it’s going to stay that way. What Jake and I have is beyond anything you could ever imagine.”
Hearing her talk about being in a relationship Jake is like having a dagger plunged into my heart. I’m at war with myself, I don’t know what I should and shouldn’t believe and I have no idea how I should handle the situation. I’ve never encountered someone like her before, as school there were bitchy girls but they always left me alone. I was no threat to them so they had no need to torture me. I start to wonder if that’s why Sarah is treating me like this, could she really be threatened by me? Surely only jealousy could provoke such a merciless, unnecessary act of cruelty like this?
I stare up at her, utterly speechless. She’s hurt me beyond belief and I’ve taken just about enough from this girl and her spiteful gloating. My self-preservation finally kicks in and I decide to respond to this girl with the same contempt she has shown me. I might not be able to beat her in any fight but I sure as hell can fight back.
“If what you’re saying is true then why did Jake make love to me last night?” I ask.
She jerks her head as though I’ve slapped her. The colour drains from her bronzed face and I’m thrilled to see she doesn’t look half as smug as she did a moment ago.
“Made love to you? Don’t make me laugh. I’ve already told you it meant nothing to him. I’m the one who he wants, it’s always been me. I’ve already say that I can understand Jake; I know who he is and I know what he’s like. He now realises what’s important and that’s me.”
“If you’re who he wants then how come I don’t know anything about you? Until tonight I had no idea you even existed.”
She turns red with rage, narrowing her eyes at me.
“What Jake and I have is special. You don’t know the first thing about our relationship or what we’ve been through! He was hurting and I don’t blame him, he made a mistake. We’ve both made mistakes but we’re going to make it right. We can fix everything!” She yells, clearly on the edge of despair and I’m shocked when I notice the tears rolling down her face.
For some reason I feel a slight amount of sympathy towards her. It doesn’t take a genius to see how badly she’s hurting. All of the animosity and bitterness I saw in her earlier has disappeared, leaving a broken, vulnerable girl in its place.
“Sarah, don’t cry. She’s not worth it.”
Her friend moves in front of me to console her, making it clear that the two of them have a lot more understand that I do about what’s happening. I’m out of the loop and have no idea what the hell is going on. Just a few seconds ago she was screaming at me and now she’s having an emotional breakdown.
“Why was Jake hurting?” I ask, not being able to help myself. I need to know the truth and she can tell me.
“You don’t know anything, do you?” Her friend snaps, scowling at me.
“Because of the baby.” Sarah whispers.
I gape at her in astonishment. She spoke so softly, I almost think I misheard her.
“The baby?” I prompt her, feeling the terror start to take over.
I can’t believe it, I won’t believe it. There’s a baby? Jake and Sarah had a baby? It can’t be true, Jake would have told me. I feel my knees buckle, almost bringing me to the ground. It’s like all of the energy has been drained from my body, leaving me unsteady and my head spinning.
Sarah is fast to notice the horrified expression on my face and quickly composes herself. She’s jubilantly triumphant within seconds.
“Oh, you didn’t know about that? I’m not surprised Jake didn’t tell you. He refuses to discuss it with anyone. Well, everyone except me, the mother of his child.”
“You… you have a baby?”
I’m quivering and shaking like a frightened animal whereas Sarah is so confident; I just know she’s telling me the truth.
“God, you really are a stupid bitch. I had a miscarriage! It broke Jake’s heart when it happened; he was devastated that we had lost something that was a part of me and him. It’s brought us even closer together and now we’re invincible, we’re so much stronger because of it and we’re going to have another baby as soon as Jake can find a place for the three of us to live.”
She’s so smug, no longer defeated or defenceless. The vulnerability I saw in her a moment ago has long gone, only her acidic tongue remains.
“You’re lying.” I say coolly, closing my eyes in an attempt to control my erratic breathing.
I’m seconds away from a full blown panic attack and I won’t give her the satisfaction of watching my anxiety take hold. I instinctively know she wasn’t lying about the miscarriage. Nobody can fake that much emotion but what she’s saying about Jake just doesn’t sound right. He’s been devoted to me these last few weeks, if he had a girlfriend would he really have had the time to spend so much with me? And I was the one who initiated our first sexual experience, Jake was the one who was hesitant, it’s not like he pressured me into anything. If all he ever wanted from me was sexy then he went a strange way about it. Regardless of what’s true and what isn’t, Jake has been lying to me. He never told me about Sarah and to me, that’s a big enough betrayal.
“You know it’s true, I can see it in your eyes. Does it upset you? Knowing that the guy you’re so infatuated with got me pregnant? To be honest, I wasn’t all that surprised when it happened. What with the amount of sex Jake and I have, I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner. He can’t keep his hands off me; I’ve always been his weakness.”
I cringe away from her, swallowing the bile lodged in my throat when I think of the two of them together. They make so much more sense than Jake and I, they’re both beautiful, tall, they’re extraordinarily good lucking and I’m just… not.
I should just walk away from this, away from her and the toxic things she’s saying to me. No. I can’t. Not without my phone. It’s only a possession but it’s still another thing she’s taken from me. She’s stripped me of my dignity, my self-respect and the faith I had in Jake. She’s robbed me of everything; I won’t allow her to take anything else from me.
“I want my phone, give it to me.” I insist, hoping to sound bold and threatening. Unfortunately, it came out more like a request and I clench my fists; the desire to hurt her is so strong.
“I think you’ll find it now belongs to me, just like Jake does and there’s nothing you can do about it.” She sneers, invading my personal space.
I can feel her breath on my face and I’m longing to wipe that smug look off her face. She’s exuberant, she knows she’s won this battle I can’t do anything about it. I’m incapable of getting my phone back from her and the knowledge of this makes me feel so weak. She’s degraded me, laughed at me and humiliated me beyond belief. My fury increases when I think back over everything she’s said to me tonight, plus the fact that I’m almost suffocating with jealousy. It’s slowly smothering me and I’m gasping for air. Envy is coursing through my veins, numbing me against my surroundings; I can’t feel anything but jealousy and hate. That’s why I no longer have control over the following words that leave my mouth.
“You know, one good thing came out of everything that happened. That poor baby had a lucky escape; imagine having you for a mother.”
My remark was beneath me. I’m so much better than the disgusting thing I just said to her and I already know it was a huge mistake. I instantly regret it and wish that I could take it back. I’m just about to apologise when she attacks me.
Her fingers grab my hair, pulling on it with so much force, I’m sure she’s going pull it right out of my skull. I quickly realise how defenceless I am against her wrath. I’ve never been much of a fighter and I sure as hell don’t stand a chance her fury. I hold onto her fingers, trying to detach them from my hair. She refuses to let go and I gasp when I feel something being poured over my head. It stinks of alcohol so I know it must be Sarah’s drink I saw her holding when she first approached me.
Suddenly, my wrists are yanked behind my back and held together in a tight grip. I’m utterly powerless against the two of them, Jake isn’t coming and he’s certainly not going to save me. My heart breaks when I seriously start to consider the possibility that I’ve been tricked. I must face the dark and devastating reality that the man I’ve fallen in love is not the man I believed him to be.
Sarah’s screaming at me but I can’t hear what she’s saying. It’s as though I’m not really here, I’ve disappeared to a place deep inside myself. A place that’s safe and a place she can’t reach me. Long nails claw at my face and I close my eyes, instinctively protecting myself. She grabs my chin, raising it so she can slap me hard across the face.
“I’m going to make you regret every single moment you spent with Jake. I’m going to make you sorry.” She screeches menacingly.
Inside I’m screaming. No matter what she does to me, I refuse to regret a single second I’ve spent with Jake. Even if these past few weeks have all been one huge lie, it’s my lie to remember. I will never forget him or how alive he made me feel in his presence.
I brace myself for another slap from her but what follows is far worse than I could ever imagine. Sarah spits in my face and the hurt and humiliation that follows actually stuns me for several seconds. I’ve never felt so violated or abused and I hate myself for not being able to control the tear rolling down my face. Knowing that she will take great delight in my suffering is what keeps me from letting go of any more tears.
“You’re going to pay, bitch.” The cruel friend whispers in my ear, still clasping my wrists behind my back, leaving me utterly defenceless.
I’m abruptly pulled from my innermost thoughts when I hear a voice. A glorious, heart-stopping voice I never thought I’d hear again.
“Sarah, don’t!” Jake yells, speeding over towards us.
She ignores him, still so intent on hurting me. She swings her hand back, ready to slap me for a second time and I close my eyes, anticipating the pain her strike will cause me. Hasn’t this girl done enough? Is she not content with wrecking my life and breaking my heart?
The blow from Sarah doesn’t happen. Jake reaches her just in time, wrapping his arms around her waist so he can drag her away from me. She screams at him to let her go but he refuses to relinquish his hold on her. She twists her body around to face him, clawing his face and screeching at the top of her lungs. I struggle to free myself from her friend’s grasp, surprised when she actually let’s me go.
Once Jake has pulled Sarah far enough away from me, he abruptly lets her go and she tumbles to the ground. He ignores her, striding over towards me with an enraged, violent look on his face.
“Step away from her. Now.” He growls threateningly, speaking to Sarah’s friend behind me.
Sarah’s accomplice does as he asks and hurries back to the house, leaving Sarah behind. I breathe a sigh of relief; the realisation that Jake is now here and that I’m safe is a truly remarkable feeling.
Jake leaves no distance between us, taking in my dishevelled, injured appearance. My hair is damp from the alcohol she poured over me, my face stings from the scratches she gave and my scalp is tender and bruised from her tugging on my hair. His face softens immediately when his eyes absorb the damage she inflicted. His gaze is full of concern and sympathy, making me even more furious that he didn’t reach me sooner.
“Baby, what the hell have they done to you?” He asks, his voice full of anxiety and dismay.
He tries to envelope me in his arms but I take a step back, avoiding his embrace. He looks hurt and confused by my reaction but I’m too angry and humiliated to feel anything but rage. He opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted by the sound Sarah scrambling to her feet.
“That’s who you’ve chosen over me?” She mocks contemptuously.
People are now leaving Jake’s house and their attention has become fixated on the three of us. However, none of them make their way over here, it’s as though they’re aware of what might happen if they do. Just like Sarah’s friend, they all seem to be fearful of Jake and what he might do.
Jake whips around, fixing his ferocious stare upon Sarah. It’s so full of hatred and contempt; she staggers backwards from the force of it.
“Don’t even think about coming any closer. You stay away from her, do you understand? I don’t want you anywhere near her ever again.”
He positions himself directly in front of me, shielding me from her view. I glance down at myself and the state I’m in, despising the decision I made to come here tonight. I’m not sure Jake and I will even be able to recover from this. How will we even begin to get past it?
“Why are you protecting her? She’s nothing special, you only have to look at her to see that and you don’t know what she said to me about our baby.” She exclaims, pointing an accusatory finger in my direction.
I notice the tension in Jake’s body when she mentions the baby and it’s in that moment I realise everything she’s told me tonight is true. Jake angrily grabs hold of her arm, forcing it into an uncomfortable position. She cries out in pain but he refuses to let her go.
“Shut. Your. Mouth” He growls, shaking her roughly.
“Jake, don’t.” I beg, wanting to stop him from doing something he regrets.
I can’t stand to see him like this. This isn’t the boy I know or the boy I love.
“Jake, I told her about the miscarriage and do you know what she said to me? She said that our baby had a lucky escape! She’s cruel and she’s heartless, why do you still want her?”
I narrow my eyes at her, wondering what I ever did for her to despise me so much. Her malice drips from her words like poison and I really would be terrified of her if it weren’t for Jake being here to keep her from me. Despite everything, I know he would never let her hurt me. He glances over at me, doubt and uncertainty etched onto his face. It’s as though he can’t quite believe I would say something like that and I start to worry that he’ll take her side and hate me for the terrible thing I said. It was unforgivable and I wish I could take it back but at the time it was fuelled by my jealousy and anger for her despicable treatment of me.
“Yes, I still want her. I’m in love with her; she’s who I want to be with, over anybody or anything and certainly over you.” He speaks decidedly, maintaining eye contact with her the entire time. There’s no hint of doubt in his voice or in his manner.
“You don’t mean that!” She cries hopelessly, clinging to the front of his shirt.
“I do. I have never felt for you what I feel for her. She’s who I want to be with, I’m in love with her and nothing you can say will change the way I feel about her.”
“Jake, please don’t do this!” She pleads with him, tears streaming down her face.
“If you weren’t a girl…” He says darkly, an underlying threat beneath his statement.
“What, Jake? You’d hit me? Go on then, just do it! Maybe then you’ll forgive me and we’ll be able to move on.”
He glares at her in abhorrence as she continues to beg him. She falls to the ground in a crumpled heap, circling her arms around his legs, imploring
him to give their relationship a second chance. It’s an awkward and distressing display for me to witness and I find myself feeling a slight amount of empathy for her. Regardless of how badly she’s hurt me tonight, I don’t gain any satisfaction from watching another person suffer. I don’t want to be a part of this for a second more, I feel like I’m the outsider and that I should probably leave so they can sort things out between them. They obviously share a dark and complicated history; one I’m not a part of and all I want to do right now is go straight home. I no longer care about my phone, she can keep it. I want no reminder of what happened here tonight.
I turn away from them and start to walk in the opposite direction; I haven’t taken my fourth step before I hear Jake running after me.
“Bethany, wait!”
He chases after me, calling my name and begging me to stop. When I fail to do so, he runs ahead of me, turning around to face me and walking backwards.
“Just leave me alone, Jake.” I say coldly.
“Baby, please stop. Where are you going?”
“I have nothing to say to you.” I fire back at him.
“But you have to let me explain. I need to talk to you, Bethany. There are things I have to tell you.”
“I already know! I know everything, Jake. She was going to have your baby, what else is there to know?”
“Don’t shut me out, Bethany. There are things I want to explain, I can make you understand if you just give me a chance to sit down and discuss things with you. You can’t walk away from me, I won’t let you. Not this time.”
He stops walking backwards and comes to an abrupt stop right in front of me, purposefully blocking my path. We’ve already walked quite a way and the sounds from the party and Sarah’s screaming can no longer be heard.
“Look at me, Jake. Look at what she’s done to me. Where were you? How could you leave me outside by myself, alone and helpless? If you hadn’t come back when you did… I don’t know what she might have done to me. I was terrified and you abandoned me when I needed you the most.”
Always & Forever Page 36